The Hoarders Anonymous Thread #7. Keep On Keeping On!

[Solo]

We are a mixed group of likeminded householders that are leading somewhat challenging lives; be that living with too much 'stuff' that we find difficult to deal with, houses that are falling apart (mine included), health issues within the family unit, wider family, or ourselves (myself included) that means sorting out our households is challenging, to say the least. So...

You are all welcome to join us for support, adding your own ideas to help others out, storage ideas, and even tips on actually getting those items out of the house which sounds so simple when you say it, but this part can be so very difficult; we are often attached emotionally to our 'things', afraid of letting things go just in case we need them.
Encouragement and support abound here, and we do not criticise. EVER! We even try not to criticise ourselves as it's not helpful to anyone, but this can be very difficult not to do.

If you are feeling overwhelmed by clutter, mess, disorganisation and generally don't know where to start. If you can't be bothered, but really do want to be bothered. If you think you are a bit lazy, or if you just need to see your highs and lows and everything in between on the screen here, join us, and we will help you. We'll virtually high-five your achievements - small or large, and virtually hug you when the need arises, and if you want a hug, just ask because we are here for you, here for one another because we get it. The art of washing up is sometimes our great achievement of the day, but it's still an achievement.

Welcome to thread #7 of Hoarders Anonymous - Keep On Keeping On!

Thread #6 HERE

You deserve a home you want to go back to

Things got stressful with the issue I have with the roofing company getting access to turn off the gas, I left a message for someone from the company last Thursday to say I would contact them at the weekend (they had given me a mobile number), phoned but they didn't answer (i know it was the weekend but they said it was urgent), but they did reply to my messages and I said i would phone again yesterday which i did, i was told they didn't know when the gas engineer could come as they had to book them, i said give me two dates, one this week and one next week and i would check with my manager.

Got home yesterday at 9pm and a neighbour from another flat said they are one of the directors of the block of flats where i live and the roofing company wanted to get in touch, i said i was aware and explained all of the above etc, they said thank you i will let the others know, about an hour later another neighbour who is often condescending knocked and told me they are trying to get hold of me, i explained all the same information who i've contacted but he obviously didn't believe me, saying i'm contacting the wrong person and what is their number? It ended with an angry exchange when he said "i'm talking your not listening" i was really angry and shouted back, it was just a reaction and could hardly sleep with the stress.

Just phoned the person i've been talking to at the roofing company and have given me one date the gas engineer can come in which is this Thursday which won't be enough time, because im at work today so would only have tomorrow to prepare, it's so so stressful, i said i would ask if i can get the time off just to stall but i know thursday is too soon and was hoping for a day next week.

It's at times like this i think what a mess i've made of so many aspects of my life just trying to keep going.

@BlueSummerBaby that seems impossible at the moment, so many aspects of life that I have lost hope in, but yes would be amazing to have a home i want to go back to.

I don't understand what the "one of the directors of the block of flats where i live means." Do you mean a director of the company that owns the building is one of your neighbors?

Having neighbor arguments is always hideously stressful, I'm not surprised you struggled to sleep.

In your shoes and if you haven't already done this; I'd be calling them today to say you can't get the time of work Thursday and they need to organize appointment for late Friday afternoon at a pinch (so within 48 hours) or Monday morning when you absolutely can, (dependent on how bad what you need to clear is) and just suck up letting work down unless they are truly dependent that only you can do whatever is needed.
AFAIK the absolute worst that can happen is they start proceedings for entry. Fairly unlikely at this point, and would be unreasonable as you have offered a date they can access, but even if they did do that, it can't happen overnight, and you would be able to clear in the meantime and reorganize a date for attendance.
Personally I'd be taking the time of work and clearing, so I could get past this point in things and get back to being left alone asap.

The other might be to decide to accept the contractor coming in to turn the gas off, as is. Scary though but as you own your flat, the absolute worst consequences of it would be embarrassment, and possible gossip. (I am assuming there is nothing in the building lease that says you are not allowed to hoard within an owned flat?) All very unpleasant, but possibly more bearable than the situation dragging out and involvement of neighbors from what you are saying? Either way I wish you luck and strength.

My own situation is now pear shaped as rocked up to hospital appointment Monday, got kept in overnight and released late yesterday. Now have to catch up work that has a tomorrow deadline, so I'm urgently trying to shift appointment date too.

@Elleherd he was a director of the residents management company, leaseholders put themselves forward to be one of the directors and the other leaseholders vote them in, so unless they are renting their flats they live in the block, he was very understanding and reasonable, it was another neighbour that I had the argument with.
I been in touch with the roofing company and have arranged access for Monday 9th, have been clearing stuff today, will go into work tomorrow and then will have to be off Friday and Monday, so will have a few days, it will still be hard but infinitely better than them coming this week which they wanted to.
I will have to take Friday and Monday no matter what so will have to think how I will go about it, I think they would give me the time off work if I explain it's emergency access due to the works but can't risk a no.
It's difficult to discribe the feelings that come up as I start to clear stuff, not just panic but an odd feeling of despair not really directly connected to the stuff.
I have lots to go out to the giant bins we have this evening but I'm on the third floor so it's hard work for half a dozen sacks of stuff.
Sorry to hear they kept you in overnight and the added stress of work deadlines when you are dealing with health issues at the same time, is your workplace supportive and understanding? Hope you have managed to change the appointment date. Sending positive thoughts to you.

Not much to report from our little cottage... feeling very overwhelmed and looking around not knowing what to tackle next. Just feeling quite snowed under and unmotivated to clean up the same stuff over and over again.
Loved catching up on everyone's progress though...keep going guys : )

Send some positive thoughts out for me please, starting to clear stuff ready for Monday and have a feeling of being lost somewhere as if I am in a vast sea in darkness and completely alone, grateful for positive thoughts and vibes and I will of course send them back to you.

Arthur de-hoarding is so emotionally hard. How are you doing today? Here's some pretty pictures along with the positive vibes 🌈🌅

Look up grounding exercises if necessary, you sound a bit spaced out 💫, it can help bring you back to yourself. Maybe you don't have time for your emotions just now but you could put it all in a journal 📘 after this event to avoid bottling it all up.

For now I think I'd make lists📝, simple instructions to yourself, maybe 7 because I read somewhere the brain 🧠 can't cope with more than 7 to keep track of and just be working my way 👩‍🔧 through the list each time. Then write another 7, keeping going until it's all done. It's a uphill journey 🧗 but the view from the summit will be fantastic 🏞️🏘️

If it's not all done in one day 📆 allowing you to breathe a huge sigh of relief that it's over 🌬️🍃, I'd be sure to do something relaxing 🧘🛀before bed 🛌💤🌠🌌. You're bound to be feeling tense with all these emotions flying around 🌀 that you don't have time to deal with right now ⏳. Just remember sunny days are coming 🌧️🌦️🌥️⛅🌤️☀️ and you won't always feel like this.

Good luck with it 🤞, you can do it! ✨Afterwards you can take time out to deal with the emotional aftermath and regaining your equilibrium 💐. Your efforts will be rewarded 🌟. It will be good to have your home tidier, less cluttered and the maintenance issue fixed 🏚️🛠️👷🏠

King Arthur Positive thoughts to you and strength also. You got the date extended to Monday, Well done! You've taken steps to be in control of your situation. Well done! Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Little can be done about the past, but the future is all to play for.
I find music and sensible breaks help.
If you're stuggling with space in other rooms, think about what is light and large that could go onto your (covered) bed on Monday itself. My strategy in your situation would be pace yourself and aim to get as much as reasonably can by Sunday lunchtime. Then stop and review. Whatever hasn't been done by then needs to be sped up and less meticulously done, but you still have time to achieve it all because you've created it. Don't plan to stay up Sunday night, it rarely works out. You might need a bit of a late night and an early rise, but even a few hours sleep will pay off. On Monday morning any finishing touches.

If you are going into work Monday afternoon, clear your bed and ensure a path to it, before you go.
I've had to do this stuff too many times. You can do it and you're very much not alone. We're thinking about you and rooting for you.
I will look back in late evening to see how you're doing if you've posted.

Aussie Koala Sorry it's feeling overwhelming. I know I say this a lot, but motivation follows action. It's counter intuitive, but true. Very snowed under here too, haven't got the balance right at the moment.

@BlueSummerBaby Thank you for the support, yes feeling spaced out today and panic for a while, thought I would have to just run, did some EFT (emotional freedom technique) and managed to fill some bags to throw out this evening.

@Elleherd thank you for the advice and support, six black bin bags went out to the bins yesterday evening and more to go as soon as I get back from shopping.
Hope you are ok after they kept you in and not too stressed with catching up at work.

Six bin bags out is really good going! Well done. Are you feeling a bit more in control of things?
I'm struggling with work load, but have been lucky that I managed to move contractors to late next week. I will probably still end up with a last minute access clearing as there is suddenly so much on and I have to manage to achieve too much this weekend.
I'm really glad for you that you're managing to not only create the needed access but also chucking as you go. That is the way to a new life.

Yes great to throw out stuff but didn't have a choice really as so short of space in every room, stayed up past midnight going down to the bins, exhausting being on the third floor, had a feeling of desperation and panic today but managed to get stuff sorted to throw out this evening.
Good to hear you have put your contractor off for a while.

Just running in to wish King Arthur lots of luck, nice contractors, and as little stress as can be possible today. Will be thinking of you.

Thank you Elleherd, I stayed up until 3am, moved the washing machine over so they had access to the gas meter, covered up the floor in kitchen and hallway, then up at 7 and they arrived at 1130, they did what they needed to do and went, felt a relief but so many mixed feelings, shame, embarrassment, uncomfortable, guilty not going in to work, sadness that I hadn't been coping with the hoarding and OCD and have neglected so much just to have the energy to work, which I no longer enjoy.
How did this happen and so much still to do in the future, 20 black plastic sacks went out during the past few days but somehow it doesn't look much different yet.
Thank you for the support, really appreciated, I felt the loneliness person in the world for the past couple of weeks.

Hello all
@KingArthur1964 am glad it went ok. In the past I've had to allow in a party wall surveyor when my neighbour was planning an extension, felt so ashamed of the state of the place. I've delayed dealing with broken appliances, most notably my boiler, because of the overwhelming mess. You are not alone.
So the work is ongoing in my home. It has been quite transformed. I move back in shortly but I hardly dare unpack for fear of spoiling the pristine state. Have been listening to a Slob Comes Clean to keep me focussed.
I wish I had followed @Elleherd's packing tips! All my boxes contain seemingly random items. Think I panicked at the end and started to throw things in regardless....

Loving your updates everyone and 💐 and ☕@KingArthur1964 - needing to have trades people in brought me to this lovely bunch of people. It’s petrifying and takes a little time to get over - but it sounds like your home is better than before, well done for getting through it.
Letting work take over also resonates with me - why have I let that happen and allowed my home to decline - but I need to forgive myself and just make new habits, a little every day.
I’ve just had another bout of Covid and I need to finish up work for a week off and pack (for me and DC) for a holiday so I’m mainly trying to forgive myself and work towards enjoying the break from my house.

Just running in to say glad the immediate stress is over King Arthur will catch up properly later.

'Throwing everything in together at the end' and 'letting work take over' are both familiar! The worries and discomfort around being 'contractor ready' are universal.
I've been able to do nothing! Am absolutely run of my wheels right now, work demands causing very long hours and I'm in no position to say no and systematically falling behind. Workspace has too many people in it vying for space and people beginning to do selfish things to game the system. Restarted deferred studies and immediately falling behind in those too.
Have contractors for survey in on Friday, and a lot needing shifting, and a landlord arranged one demanding access next week that I can't take more time off for. It isn't only the balance of stuff versus space that's off here, it balance generally!

@moonshaped same with me with regard to delaying getting stuff fixed, the pipes some leaks with plastic containers underneath because don't feel able to get anyone in, have to flush to loo by removing the cistern lid and lots of stuff like that and it takes it toll, good to hear you have managed to get work done.

@FiniteSagacity thank you, it has all taken it's toll a bit, feel very flat, all the worry and up late so many nights it has hit me now.
Hope you enjoy your time off, have a good break.

@Elleherd Sorry to hear about work demanding long hours, it's miserable even if you love the work and even worse if you don't, sounds like tremendous pressure on you from all sides, when you just know something has to give, hopefully you landlord will be understanding if you can't get time off work, I never like asking for last minute days off, especially if rejected. I know the feeling of lack of balance, life out of kilter.

Moonshaped So good to hear that things are going well. Scary but exciting too!

Finite Sagacity You are so right about forgiving yourself, and creating new habits. Hope you have a lovely break.

King Arthur Landlord is always the opposite of understanding.
Feeling flat and exhausted after emergency clear ups goes with the territory. Look after yourself while you get back to some normality, and look at what you have just achieved, and what could maybe be built on.

Moved lots around for Friday's survey and then they didn't turn up! Lost the rest of the day to literally hours of phone calls trying to track them down, then rearrange. Unsuccessful. Have had to move lots back to get on with life and now have to catch up Friday afternoons work today. The other contractors have agreed to come this Friday, so now going to have to try and convince survey lot to come then as well.
Yesterday went to combination of moving stuff out of the way, getting tyres changed, discovering my market supplier has closed down (means I've under quoted on some work) and trying to catch up work. Have to do better today somehow...

Hope you can catch up with everything that needs doing Elleherd

Hope you feel rested soon Arthur

Enjoy your holiday Finite Sagacity you deserve it

Congratulations on your transformed home Moonshaped

My messy part of the main bedroom is looking almost completely tidy now. I can't believe it. This has taken months of finding homes for things mainly because I keep dumping more stuff there and better storage solutions, as well as some decluttering but finally, although it's still overcrowded it looks like "hmm, a bit too much stuff there" and not like "wow! Erm...you're a hoarder, aren't you?". I just need to stop putting things there now. Which means I need to stop obtaining things or do one-in-one-out. I'm slowly getting better at that.

Forgot to say me and DD are planning to raid the dog’s new toys box for excess in the attic and to post them to a dog charity we support as a Christmas parcel. They were very happy about that last time and it’s lovely to think about other dogs enjoying playing with what ours might not care about so I’m earmarking 5 toys for this and getting them down later to sort out . The storage boxes were picked up right away on Olio . I must check with DH what’s going on with the mailing envelopes I asked him to post on Olio too .
DS should be coming home next weekend from Uni and once I’ve washed the contents of his laundry bin before that we can hopefully look through the clothes he left home for ones he doesn’t wasting keep . I want to go through his T-shirts and sweatshirts and jackets . Just threw out some trousers and a sweatshirt with a hole . There might not be much since we looked at them recently but just want to go through with a fine toothed comb when he returns so we’re not storing stuff he doesn’t want pointlessly . Elsewhere DH accidentally ordered the same piano music book for DD as I had already so the duplicate is going and I found chipped drinking glass .
Have been feeling very depressed so I’m trying hard to fight it with forcing myself into action and to making plans after not doing much all weekend . I have lots of admin and some cleaning I should do . Mercifully no appointments this week before the halfterm will be busy with another yearly house maintenance app and one for me , our trip away and I’ve just booked a couple days away by myself too , Halloween , DH Birthday , several plans with friends and stuff planned for DD .
I must try to find more to declutter ,I feel just very tired and like not doing anything this week.

Going out :
-5 dog toys donated soon
-1 chipped drinking glass
-1 mini hand cream used up from my stash
-1 duplicate piano book to charity