Hi King Arthur welcome.
Most, if not all of us here, have had to deal with the fall out of contractors needing access and how to make it possible without public humiliation and lasting repercussions. We're all on different parts and stages of the same journey, and have found speaking about it, being kinder to ourselves, and managed accountability helps to move forward. We all need and want change.
Terror? Yes, know it only too well. Wanting to entirely give up – totally. The terror can freeze you. You’re not alone feeling these things. They’re what we feel in these situations because we feel we have no control over events, augmented by about to get ‘caught/discovered.’ It can be managed. Voicing it is a great start. No one here judges, just tries to support, suggest & encourage.
I don’t have any diagnosis’s but parallel to major hoarding, have a need for things to be clean & ordered in ways that can be hard for others to accept. At one time I was quite extreme about outside dirt and inside dirt etc, so understand how one ends up separating out stuff etc. (have this aspect under better control these days.)
It sounds like you can to some extent control when the access happens, but it needs to be asap. I’d aim for appointment Friday when more strikes are threatened. Is the flat rented or owned? (re possible repercussions.)
Re getting it done, I treat these things as ‘disaster management.’ Take it from someone who’s repeatedly had to do this: It always takes longer than you think. One twisted shoulder/pulled muscle and you can be in real trouble, so be realistic about the idea that you must also be at work. Something has to give. Sometimes it is more sensible to ’seek forgiveness, than ask permission.’
Probably against your nature especially if you’ve recently had time off, but tbh I’d if necessary, throw a sickie/personal issue for Mon/Tues knowing the trains are on strike Weds, and try and arrange the appointment for Friday. Any exhaustion at work on Thursday is covered by Mon/Tuesday’s absence.
When you have to hide the reason is hoarding, sometimes implying something else is going on (including with neighbors) can help with the balancing act. Untruths and gaming the system isn’t great but can be necessary for surviving mentally and socially, and staying afloat.
Re tackling what you haven’t been touching - gloves, mask/ bandana, cheap disposable painters’ suits all help, and black sacks to put things in if you need to keep things separate. A roll of labels and pen can help you keep track.
Re-covering floors, a roll of builder’s plastic will do it, but don’t forget you can provide and insist on contractors wearing elasticated foot coverings.
Viakal can go a long way in sorting out visuals identifying how long tap has been left leaking, combined with turning of the water on the day, if it’s an actual issue.
If you go for storage, keep it short term only. Anything else generally backfires.
Sing That is a big life change! Sorry to hear it. It'’s really tough, but by the sounds of it, perhaps sensible for all.
It sounds like you can both manage to co-parent maturely in the situation, but you know you have to be a bit self-centered over the tenancy, don’t you.
Well done for harnessing the energy into practical stuff! Hope you’ve lots of de cluttered paperwork now. Good news about your friend offering transport, it makes such a difference. Keep calm and carry on.
Bluesumerbaby Time can sometimes resolve things. Hoping it does for you.
Is the continuing acquiring from shopping, or other sources?
I ended up having to stay out of shops all together for a time to try and put a pause to my acquisitive behaviours. Doing it highlighted the range of situations that enabled my continuous acquiring. None of it entirely fixed things but it helped me develop better tools for dealing with situations.
Susan I’ve recorded that in the hope of inspiration. Same issue here I’m finding myself inspired at aunts, when I need to be here!