The Hoarders Anonymous Thread #7. Keep On Keeping On!

[Solo]

We are a mixed group of likeminded householders that are leading somewhat challenging lives; be that living with too much 'stuff' that we find difficult to deal with, houses that are falling apart (mine included), health issues within the family unit, wider family, or ourselves (myself included) that means sorting out our households is challenging, to say the least. So...

You are all welcome to join us for support, adding your own ideas to help others out, storage ideas, and even tips on actually getting those items out of the house which sounds so simple when you say it, but this part can be so very difficult; we are often attached emotionally to our 'things', afraid of letting things go just in case we need them.
Encouragement and support abound here, and we do not criticise. EVER! We even try not to criticise ourselves as it's not helpful to anyone, but this can be very difficult not to do.

If you are feeling overwhelmed by clutter, mess, disorganisation and generally don't know where to start. If you can't be bothered, but really do want to be bothered. If you think you are a bit lazy, or if you just need to see your highs and lows and everything in between on the screen here, join us, and we will help you. We'll virtually high-five your achievements - small or large, and virtually hug you when the need arises, and if you want a hug, just ask because we are here for you, here for one another because we get it. The art of washing up is sometimes our great achievement of the day, but it's still an achievement.

Welcome to thread #7 of Hoarders Anonymous - Keep On Keeping On!

Thread #6 HERE

BlueSummerBaby
Very sad your parents hoarded money, while leaving you without basics.
I think concepts over childrens needs and what flies or doesn't have changed considerably over time. It was certainly taken for granted that cigarettes and alcohol, as well as adult pride and needs, officially took priority when I was a child. I think some parents were extreme, but generally it did seem much more normal then. I can't imagine schools would ignore what they used to.

I really should be doing much more inside but am trying to take advantage of this good weather while we have it. I know it will be wet and cold all too soon!

Unfortunately city living, so all smokeless fuel only here and surrounding areas. Any wood used for burners has to be certified kiln dried. Neighbors send a picture of smoke emitted from a bonfire or chimney and it's a postal notice for £100- £300. You can be prosecuted, then it's up to £5000.

I have looked into getting it chopped up and out, but along with the nightmare of getting log sections through to the front, it's too much, as is sliced and left.

I've made cuts in it, soaked it, covered part of it and been piling compost on parts of it to speed up decomposition, and chopping it up as it decomposes. It's now developed a very helpful army of woodlice and of beetles working away on it, though it does slow things up a bit evicting them before chopping.
I reckon another year and the whole thing will become manageable. But then of course I'll have to replace the fence it crushed!

Update: Total of four sacks of tree waiting to go to composting center and this morning bedroom rug (and bathmat) thoroughly washed, now drying in the sun.
Yesterday I arrived at aunts to find fence totally removed and scaffolders in her garden! Erecting to get at a higher flat, apparently told there was no one to ask permission from! Have played nice, and am meeting them later to get the job finished and ensure they put the fence back properly afterwards. Am hoping they might just help me keep the teens at bay though!

Hi everyone, it's been a while.

We completely emptied the spare room and work is underway to get it into a proper office.

Then done the same to the hall which had become a total dumping ground, found stuff from 2017 - not ashamed, just glad to be rid of it all.

Hi all. I booked the gas engineer for annual service yesterday for today. The boiler is at the top of the stairs so jus thought I needed to clear this area as much as possible. Turns out he needed to go through the kitchen to check outside pipe and also opened a couple of bedroom doors for light, so I'm a bit mortified 🙄.

Trying to get a decent sleep pattern to get me motivated more for housework so off to sleep now!

Hi Defender, congratulations on your spare room clear out, and transformation towards a useable office space, and getting your hall under control! Oh that 2017 would be the oldest items found here!

TalkToTheHand It’s too late to warn that nowadays just for a certificate (our landlord doesn’t service just safety cert) they usually want to put a test meter up to the outside flu and also to the gas meter in order to grant a certificate. Can totally relate to the mortification, but the engineer generally will only care that he can see what he’s doing and has probably seen worse.
Hope you got some sleep, it is very lacking here.

Rug hasn’t quite dried so was back on the line this morning. Got a couple of small drawers cleared out, and all of them cleaned. Got very little actually done yesterday, partly through aunts scaffolding and fence etc, but also too much time spent on MN! (am having a late lunch now) Did manage to thoroughly water her garden though, and some mental planning of next steps.
Aunts building is now scafolded up, fence put back up well and secured by scafolders. They’ve agreed to give warning when they need access to take the scaffolding away.
Neighbor who’s taking care of aunt’s cats said something slightly concerning, so going there in a bit to talk to builders. Trying to manage my time over there properly, after yesterday’s time wasting.

Well done @TalkToTheHand123 getting boiler man in. I couldn't bear to and had no CH for a few years.
the work on my home is ongoing, all my stuff is in a taped up room, unpacking will be another opportunity to make decisions about things to keep/discard. Not that I'm any good at unpacking, normally leave random stuff strewn all over. No more! Hopefully 🤞🏼

Moonshaped hopefully the combination of the new you, the renovations and being able to talk about issues it all throws up here, will help keep you moving forwards. 🙂

Update: I took the plunge last Friday and hired extra equipment to create a work platform and access ramp to sort out aunts. Lots of faff but Ds eventually installed it on Saturday. Things got a bit difficult with the plan coming apart, and I ended up shifting lots of aunts stuff around to make space to build it, instead of being sensible and just taking the stuff straight to storage. So a lot is in the way and needing sorting out better, but tempers needed to cool down. I don't think the heat helped.
But: over the weekend laundry got done, seedlings and greenhouse plants got watered, all the bags of cut down tree from ours went to public compost site. Aunts garden got rubbish picked and watered and I'm hoping the restart of school and daily activity from both me and the builders in and out from the flats above, might mean no more teens.

All a bit messy but got all the wallpaper stripped off, and all walls needing are now either repaired and filled, or re-repaired and re-filled, and dried out and sanded. The dado rails and the top strip of walls, between them are finished. Having a lunch break and then sizing the walls is next. I may have to get the moved around stuff into storage before paper can go up, which is definitely a two person job.

For everything to happen Ds is needed to keep coming over to move the work platform and access ramp, which has caused a few problems. I'm physically exhausted all the time, and having to be so careful not to push too hard or take too many drugs, but am hoping this push might get us past the biggest thing that's stopping aunt getting back into her home.

Hi, can I join?

Our house is full of years worth of clutter and I don't do as much cleaning as I should. DC is asking to invite friends round but I'm too embarrassed.

It would be good to have some gentle encouragement as well as not feel alone. I will check out the links at the start of the thread. Thanks!

Welcome HelloMist🙂
Encouraging each other at whatever stage we're at, is part of what we try to do. To quote Solo's opening post: The art of washing up is sometimes our great achievement of the day, but it's still an achievement.
Many of us, especially when overwhelmed, stop realizing what we have achieved.
We look at what we haven't. Ds being able to have friends over is really important and a great motivator, but it's easy to forget if it's overwhelming.

I'm currently managing to finally do large amounts of very overdue work at mainly an aunts, but also my, home. ( hoarding/clutter issues in both) But here is the only place any acknowledgement of progress exists.
Everyone's need for results to have happened sooner, wipes out all sense of progress or success. It is discouraging, depressing, and isolating.
For me, writing lots of it down not only reminds me I am progressing, but helps me see what steps I need to make, in what order, and were I will need help, to not create more difficulties for myself, and back myself into a corner, sometimes literally!
This thread is the only place that would recognize that a single bottle into the bin or clearing out coat pockets might be a step towards changing something much bigger or more complex.🙂

Last three days: laundry got done again, including a bed sheet used as a dust sheet at aunts. One of her cats appears to have been dancing on it with surprisingly dirty little paws.
Large box of stuff in my bedroom redistributed to where it should be, and a couple of drawers better sorted.
One bag of (additional to standard household) rubbish sorted from ours, is gone.
Several sections of remaining tree branches chopped up and gone. (from ours)

Irritatingly two would be incursions from teens at aunts on Saturday, but they left without too much argument. I've taken a wooden planter they'd taken to use as a table, and squeezed into an already full to bursting shed!
Everything dug out and evicted from aunt raised vegetable bed, as it was entirely overtaken with weeds, brambles, pigeon feathers and vapes. Now prepped ready to be planted. Eight bags of greenery out. Five from ours and three from aunts.

Her walls are now all papered, Bit of ceiling that needed doing also papered. I am as good as seized solid from it all.
Her stuff that I moved around, is still waiting to go to storage - has to happen before platform gets disassembled and taken out and longer term so I can get at the carpet to clean it.

Medical procedure this afternoon, so how it affects, will decide if painting at aunts starts today. Sorting more Xmas bits at home awaiting hospital call to go.

You've done well with all that gardening Elleherd not surprising you're feeling stiff. Hope your medical appointment goes ok

Welcome Mist

I've been doing the master bedroom which is a massive dumping ground. It's going to take ages to sort out properly. I've made a cluttered corner back into a tidy corner (at the expense of somewhere else) and the worst corner I've made progress by rehousing some things back to where they ought to go. Those things didn't have a place at the time they were originally put in the corner but I've since created places for those type of items

I dropped off the thread. I’ve been really busy but sadly not with anything that improves my house.

Flowers and gold stars all around - progress not perfection and all that jazz.

Plus a big hello to the new starters, welcome and good luck!

HelloMist I’m exactly the same re:having visitors and did not do anything about it so the house just got worse & worse and now we’re past the play date age. It makes me feel very ashamed. Small steps and it doesn’t need to be perfect. Sometimes I see old pictures and think it wasn’t so bad, much worse now.

Elleherd you’re a whirlwind of activity!!

All I’ve managed today is to break down a bunch of cardboard boxes. Next step is to get them into the recycling then go around with a binbag for all the really obvious junk that is hanging around - no hard decisions it’s just things like empty packets etc.

Keep on keeping on…

Dropped off here too! After getting rid of a lot in summer I stalled a bit while I got used to being back at work - also have my two autistic teens (ages 14 and 16) starting at different colleges so that’s been rather exhausting! But I’m determined to keep on keeping on 😩 yesterday I realised there was loads of space in the bin so before it was collected - luckily mid morning - I sorted through DD1’s unwanted clothes (to ensure anything donatable was put aside) and raced around grabbing other stuff to throw away. Three more bin bags went to/next to the bin! I was very pleased with that.

Sadly while my lovely colleague said we could drop charity donations off in her car, we didn’t have time before the meeting we were going to yesterday, so the bags haven’t left the house but they are now all stacked up by the front door rather than in random places being tripped over. There’s definitely a lot more in the house to be donated but I don’t want to build up more bags before the current ones (three of those big laundrette bags) have been donated.

Also seriously need to book the skip, we just need to accept it’s the only real option, and I want to book it at a time we can really make the most of it but it’s hard to find the energy! I think we will have to find a way of getting our youngest out of the house as she will be very unsettled by the change

So glad to see people dropping back in!
When it's quiet I worry there are too many long posts from me and posting less worrying that mine are putting people off.

BlueSummerBaby well done systematically creating places for things. Everything having a place it belongs in, is part of the battle. Everything having the right place it belongs in, is another part of the battle here. Getting others to actually put it back there, is another big part of the battle here!

• *Miaowse It’s good to see you. The whirlwind is a depleting one that can’t keep going at this rate much longer. I don’t know if it’s because I've had to restart so many times, but I find the create recycling, and collecting obvious rubbish (usually Ds’s room here) almost reassuring! It’s like a sort of limbering up exercise that is definitely doable… We can’t change the past, only the present and future. Onward and upwards and all that.

SingToTheSky Well done to teens and you in navigating external demands. And, you in maximizing bin day! I’d be pleased too!
It may not work for you, but if it helps to know this charity collects clothes from all areas, & IME does convenient hours: https://www.icollectclothes.co.uk/donation-info
You may already be aware, but Hippo Bags are great when in need of a skip but with issues about how, when, or in front of whom. Variety of sizes from a standard builders’ bag (1000kg) up to a skip sized one (1500kg)
Advantages are you get the bag, plan what’s going, gather at leisure, book collection date to suit, then put it outside and fill it. As long as you’re sensible about reasonable gap between when it goes out and collection, you won’t need to pay for a permit. (if you have your own drive, use it the same as a skip, or if you want it on the road for a longer time, pay for a suspension permit) You can get bags direct from Hippo bags (if you pay for collection up front, must be used within 6 months) or pick up/delivered, by B&Q, Screwfix, Wickes etc. There are also legit waste collection companies that will pick up Hippo bags and or their own version, cheaper, if you come under their area. IE: mammoth-waste.co.uk/hippo-bag-collection/ (note they only take 1000kg though)

Ha! Did I really think I might be able to paint after the procedure, the other day? There is optimistic and there is just stupid! Spent the evening and next two days flat on my back hurting! Couldn't tell what was from over doing it and what from the procedure.
Yesterday aunts walls got first coat of paint, it doesn’t quite match but hoping the second coat will make it better. Managed to get what looks like a close match for the ceiling. Paint has shot up in price! Work interrupted play this morning, but having early lunch break and working out importance of tasks and what order this afternoon needs to happen in.

Elleherd I can't speak for others but your posts don't put me off. I like reading about other's progress. I have health issues and often don't have any progress to report or anything helpful to say.

Hey there! How are you all?
I have not done much. The kitchen sink stayed clear for a while, but currently, I need to wash up. I used to have a 12" square of worktop to deal with veggies etc., but that's been gone for ages and I have to pull out a drawer and put a chopping board on it to do anything. It's ridiculous! It's all ridiculous.

Laundry is always washed and dried but never put away. The mountain just gets bigger. Fed up. Fed up. Fed up.

Aw @Solo it's not good to think this way but nice to know I'm not the only one struggling.

House not much improved, if any, but just spent half an hour cleaning a bit of the kitchen and found some bench space I haven't seen for a while.

I'm trying to find ways to get motivated and productive. Using music certainly helps and time planning also. Plenty sleep in advance seems to be a must.

Got a stinker of a cold.
DD is washing up some essentials. She's still recovering from her cold.

Had an autistic meltdown until 5.30 am last night so bloody knackered as well.

Put away some shopping. (Well off the floor anyway)
Got kid up for football.
Cooked kid breakfast. (Cos the milk froze and went funny)

Concentrating on recovering for an early start tomorrow.

Forgot the rest of the post...

Anything helps. We can:
make improvements (various speeds)
Keep it from getting worse
Keep it from getting worse more quickly so we have less ground to recover when we are better/have more energy.
Rest properly so one recovers quickly and isn't out of action longer...(looking at you Elle. Rest and recover!)
Well done to anyone who has managed anything!

Caught up! 🥳

Elle I don’t get out off by your or anyone’s posts - quite the opposite, I love reading what everyone’s been up to.

Thanks so much for info - I’ve used icollectclothes a few years ago (possibly posted in the thread!) but had forgotten about them. The clothes are all mixed up in the charity bags but it would perhaps make sense to dig them all out and get them collected so there’s more space in the bags for other stuff 🤔

I’ve never looked properly into Hippo bags as I assumed they’d be too small (this time we do have lots of old dismantled/broken furniture) but it seems worth a look, thank you! 1000/1500kg has to be a lot and maybe even if we do need a bigger skip this time it would be worth doing at some point. We really get by just fine without a car most of the time here, but when it comes to decluttering it is such a barrier and I’m feeling too vulnerable to ask friends for help right now.

I really wanted to get more decluttering done this weekend but I’m so tired, and today I have a headache that painkillers haven’t touched. I’m determined to get lots more out before next bin day (it’s weekly for general rubbish here, and recycling fortnightly).

The problem is we are just so very exhausted from day to day life and even keeping up with the basics is getting harder - so much change in our life lately and bigger changes afoot.

I have also realised that while I want to declutter so we have more physical and mental space to have fun as a family, the clutter is like a layer of protection because I’m scared we still won’t have fun in a clean house and I’m scared it won’t make a difference to anything, especially our marriage. The last 13 years or so (together almost 21) have been marked by endless stress, bouncing from one crisis to another - injury, illness etc - and I don’t think we know how to be happy and have fun really, not in the way our kids deserve. But it’s only me trying to change that and it’s frustrating and scary - it often feels like there’s no point doing all this because we won’t be able to maintain it.

I’m autistic with ADHD and the lack of control I have over my own life right now is quite unsettling because my autistic side is craving predictability and safety. I think maybe that’s why I’m trying to exert more control over the house, but trying to improve things when the other four people are also neurodivergent is proving impossible, it just feels like this is it, why bother? I’m so burned out it makes me crave just being on my own for weeks so I can sort it all by myself.

But I do know really that I have to keep ploughing on even if it’s frustratingly slow and even if at the end of it my marriage isn’t worth saving. I am worth it. I am more important than the stuff.

for all who need them.
BlueSummerBaby & SingToTheSky Thanks. Logically I know everyone’s more likely busy. Just paranoia on my part.😊 My attempts at keeping momentum, planning, or speaking, cause so many issues and annoyance to others in real life.

TalkToTheHand123 I find watching the tv hoarding programes disturbing, but motivating. (Sleeping seems to be a lost art here!)

Susan Ds struck down with stinker cold too and ott meltdown through it. You’re so right about pacing health, and simple prevent worsening actions.

Solo that sounds very difficult. I'm not surprised you're fed up! Also, very reminiscent of equally ridiculous things I've ended up doing, trying to keep functioning in sub optimum circumstances. You deserve to live better.

SingToTheSky Huge sympathies with the whole crisis to crisis, and exhaustion of day to day living, and others seemly fine with just allowing the deterioration of situations and seemingly battling it alone with no sight of it resulting in a good desired ending. I think a fair few of us on here have variations of this.

Over last two and a half days. Launderette got done. More of workspace got cleared out just in time for new project starting date.. Managed to give away a fair bit, but still ended up with more boxes going to storage and some into the house. Big carrier bag into rubbish & recycling. Another big carrier bag that Ds supposed to recycle, out of vehicle and hopefully taken to recycling by him.

Platform didn’t go back on time, so stuck with extra hire charges. But aunts ceiling now has three coats of paint, and apart from one tiny bit that needs more attention, is done well enough, and that’s been one of the hardest most time consuming bits. Walls have 2nd coat of paint done, but both paint and paper are thin, so more needed to hide repaired areas. Not sure if it will all hold but…
So tired, very stressed as time is running out on things, and much of it feels like churning. Off to work.