The Hoarders Anonymous Thread #7. Keep On Keeping On!

[Solo]

We are a mixed group of likeminded householders that are leading somewhat challenging lives; be that living with too much 'stuff' that we find difficult to deal with, houses that are falling apart (mine included), health issues within the family unit, wider family, or ourselves (myself included) that means sorting out our households is challenging, to say the least. So...

You are all welcome to join us for support, adding your own ideas to help others out, storage ideas, and even tips on actually getting those items out of the house which sounds so simple when you say it, but this part can be so very difficult; we are often attached emotionally to our 'things', afraid of letting things go just in case we need them.
Encouragement and support abound here, and we do not criticise. EVER! We even try not to criticise ourselves as it's not helpful to anyone, but this can be very difficult not to do.

If you are feeling overwhelmed by clutter, mess, disorganisation and generally don't know where to start. If you can't be bothered, but really do want to be bothered. If you think you are a bit lazy, or if you just need to see your highs and lows and everything in between on the screen here, join us, and we will help you. We'll virtually high-five your achievements - small or large, and virtually hug you when the need arises, and if you want a hug, just ask because we are here for you, here for one another because we get it. The art of washing up is sometimes our great achievement of the day, but it's still an achievement.

Welcome to thread #7 of Hoarders Anonymous - Keep On Keeping On!

Thread #6 HERE

Hello everyone :), how are you all? I haven't had a catch-up yet but will try to soon.
I've not done much, but aside from my son's wedding being cancelled, and them splitting up, I've had my mum in hospital again, so it's been a tough time. I've been on holiday (England) and do feel much more rested, but was dreading coming home to the mess.
Whilst away, I saw a plea from a family local to my hometown, and besides clothing their children in the sales, I also gave away some of my household extras. Gone! Can you believe it? I need to go through much more, but some things have already left the building :).

I will return.x

Difficult one with Ds wedding being called off Solo, and sorry to hear your mum's been back to hospital, but good to see you as always, and hear you've managed to pass things along. Yay! I've found it always helps when someone needs the stuff, a double win!

Have had to slow down as what I've been doing is taking its toll. Amongst other problems, blooming blood vessels under my toe nails have been bursting and my toes are on fire! I'm used to pain but this is a weird form of torture!
Over the last couple of day it's been three more bags of greenery out of here, and a bag of recycling, but at cost.

Have however managed to cut down and repair a garden hose the foxes had chomped through. It means even though it doesn't reach very far, it's now possible to run a hose from the bathroom to create a water supply in the garden again, instead of having to haul it all out in watering cans from the kitchen. (No hose will fit our kitchen tap!) Hopefully it will pay off with less time and energy consumption, and clearing up subsequent mess. Have planted some of the new seeds in pots, but lots more to do.
Gave bathroom floor, hall floor, and corridor an autumn spring clean on top of standard one, which revealed floors are all going to need repainting again soon.

Need to get living room curtains down tomorrow (huge job from a wheelchair- though re-hanging them's worse) and in to soak, so I can get them washed and dried while we still have good weather.

Hi all!

It's been lovely to read and catch up with everyone's progress around their home, i'm sending everyone a hug from 'across the pond' who may need it too 😊 💐
Australia is 1 week away from Spring, so I've made an early start on the traditional 'spring clean'
DS's toys are finally sorted and while DH is home on break, he's been busy in the garden getting things organised.
I finished decluttering the laundry room today and have made a start on the study which I have put of for long enough 😅
I've also unpacked a few of my dads possessions, it's been lovely having his favourite clock ticking in our livingroom and listening to some of his favourite records while we potter about the house 💜💜

some news here, the work has started on my home. I can hardly believe it is happening.
This thread was the impetus towards improving my living environment, gave me the resources to find help and the inspiration to keep moving forward.
I used to tell friends I was going to get work done but in my head I couldn't face the prospect of getting "builder ready" the problems seemed insurmountable.
But here we are. It's unreal.

AussieKoala01 We're at the end of summer and headed to autumn here so I'm on an early autumn 'spring' clean! Prepping towards changing weather in a few weeks time. Well done on the toys and laundery room, and hope the study goes well. Ecellent to have another person to do the garden. (not jealous, honest...) Nice to have your dad's presence while you do it all. Well done.

Ah Moonshaped well done you. It's Solo who made this thread possible, and everyone including yourself that creates that impetus. 🙂Facing this stuff alone is ten times harder and as we all know, it's hard enough in any circumstances. So glad for you that you're moving forwards and the unreal is becoming real. 🙂

Yesterday: dropped in at aunts at did a bit of work blocking up potential mouse holes, (have left entrance for escape) then came back and got living room curtains down and spares up which finished me for the day, so left everything I'd moved where it was.
This morning: have cleaned all the window frames with bleach and cleaned inside of windows. Window frames also need repainting again. 😒Ran out of laundry powder, so curtains are waiting for me to get out and get some, but have to get everything back in place and self cleaned up first.

Hope you can get rid of the lurking teenagers Elleherd

You've done so well moonshaped

I've done a cupboard now. It was rammed full before. Now it's still full but not boxes doubled up one on top of the other and things crammed into every little gap. It looks like a regular cupboard that isn't hoarded. I was able to put some things from the living room in there too so that's another room improved by accident

Hello hello,
Day job has been very busy and I have no progress to share. Great to read about all your triumphs!

BlueSummerBaby Fingers crossed behind back.
Well done on creating a more easily usable cupboard and an improved room, accidentally or otherwise! Nearly all cupboards here are Tetris puzzles of boxes. (A clue the contents need reducing!)

Miaowse it goes like that, we all need a time turner! But it's nice to see people regardless!

Yesterday afternoon: got curtains in to soak, so ready to join rest of washing for launderette trip today. But have to pick up stuff from aunts that needs washing, before it can get started on.
Got another couple of sacks of greenery bagged, but not out. It's never ending. The heavens opened and rain stopped play, so started sorting and photographing a load of Christmas decorations that need to move from where they are. I have a ridiculous number, though they do bring great joy and a fair few are valuable. Most get rotated annually, but finding the exact ones wanted, has become problematic. Have also ended up with fragile and not fragile no longer separated, which means all Christmas decoration boxes are now fragile! So trying to sort that back out.
The aim is to print out and put photos of what's in which box on the outsides so whichever ones are wanted can be located without unpacking absolutely everything, every year, trying to find the right ones.

Just came back from holiday in Benidorm where I'd managed to keep the hotel room fairly tidy (with the help of the cleaner).

House is a shock. Trying not to dwell too much and start to make inroads.

Have gone to stay with DM for BH weekend. Means my 2 spare bedrooms are full of junk again. I have actually moved bits from my main bedroom into these.

What’s ironic is the guy I’m seeing right now has a 3 bedroom townhouse maisonette and his bedroom is cluttered with bottles cans etc on his chest of drawers (x 2(, bedside table, living room and kitchen. He rents out one bedroom on a part time basis to friends and the small double large single room is tidy as is their room.

I have to keep kitchen, living room etc clean. Ii thunjm upstairs bar bathroom and main bedroom are my “safe spaces” where I can hoard/be messy.

I have 2 decluttering books. I also did an online ADHD/ASC test as I heard that can be an indicator of untidiness and hoarding but scored low there.

I just need to get on with it and do it. When I had an incentive last year to rent out a spare room (only largest as small one is box room) I made more progress as I had something to aim for but then paid off mortgage so that’s not a pressing issue now.

This sounds sad but DB and SIL live in a small 2 bedroom flat and went to move as having second baby soon and I almost wish I didn’t have space like they don’t have it.

That’s me. Was in DP’s holiday home in France in June and WFH there and the room I use there (have a choice if by myself or friends stay) is always tidy, same with hotel rooms.

TalkToTheHandThink you're wise for not dwelling and just going straight in for making inroads. Getting a break from it often does leave a shock when we see it again with fresh eyes.

GonnaGetGoingReturns The benefits in knowing why we are the way we are, or have specific behaviors, is if or when it helps us to tackle it. But ultimately when all is said and done, we all 'need to just get on and do it.' No amount of understanding makes it move itself. 🙂Well done for managing to so far contain it to 'only' upstairs. I'd aim for sorting upstairs before you find it taking over everywhere!

Yesterday: No visible presence of either teens or mice at aunts when I picked up stuff for washing.
Laundry happened, curtains back out on line this morning trying to fully dry.
Got a further five sacks of greenery down and bagged up. Measured up for wiring to garden as there's a possible opportunity to acquire high grade cable for eventual shed/workshop.

Another of these things were I worry about the wisdom of what I think I'm doing.
I need to build a replacement shed and have quite a lot of the materials, but without a miracle it's unlikely to happen before next summer.
Eventually I'm then hoping to replace/convert it to a workshop, which would need high grade cable for power. But, long before I'm ready to do any of this, the opportunity to get (expensive) high grade cable free, has come up, and I'm currently paying for storage, even though I'm im in need of getting rid of it, so... It makes sense to get it, but...

@Elleherd, that’s the thing as a child, teenager and adult I wasn’t like this, at all, in fact the opposite! I do have a hoarding tendency and like stuff.

Actually about 2-3 years ago I did find it taking over my living room and my DB came over and said this is ridiculous - I also had mice in there. I basically decluttered a lot there but got storage systems in place. So luckily for me I have “safe spaces” but I need to do it in the whole house! Eg keep it clear and actually declutter. Until recently it was the second biggest bedroom that was/is a dumping ground but the box room which used to be my study is now similar. I tend to use the dining room downstairs for work now. Sitting room is always a non work space. With me it’s definitely an ostrich thing.

Attic was going to be converted but decided against it due to cost.

My DB actually has a similar issue. His flat is and has to be tidy and uncluttered for his family. But he uses one of DM’s rooms (she does have a huge house!) for storage and part of her attic too and also part of my attic. He recently sold a famous nightclub neon sign (he had 2 but sold one then I reminded him he had another one but god knives where that’s gone!). Me, him and SIL were in the spare room with his furniture and SIL looked at an old clock and said “that’s only really suited for a loft apartment” (they don’t have a loft apartment) and he said “well it sells for x amount on eBay it’s valuable!”. He also has a few paintings he’s done, very good and a boss of mine was interested in one recently but DB won’t sell.

Our DM has organised clutter but is more organised in general.

Not a problem solo.

I am still not back on track though and the anniversary is looming.

I'm about 250 posts behind.
I'm rejoining to help me to feel I am doing something.

Garage was cleared out in time. Getting used to new garage. And attempting to keep it tidy. It was good to be able to find the holiday stuff straight away all together on two nails. Most of it has been put back too!

I cleared the kitchen floor before I went. Sadly some stuff was dumped upstairs rather than sorted.

I am working on unpacking and putting away and repacking grab/weekend bag. DD sorted out a bag of charity clothes. Must take as soon as I am up to going out.

I cleaned out half the fridge before I went.working on the second half today. Throwing lots of out of date stuff out that's been bought in bouts of optimism and got left in bouts of grief.

Today I have:
Made Ds breakfast and lunch.
Cleaned out two door shelves in the fridge and started on the top shelf.
Washed and hung up his kit for this evening. (Oops a bit late)

Not great but still progress!

My plants survived two weeks of no water. I have one nearly ripe tomato. I'm soaking some peas to plant later on the kitchen window sill.

Peas have sprouted but not yet put in the pot.

Watered some plants.

One load of wet washing still in the machine. (Oops)

One load of washing up on the drainer.

Cooked "curry." Ex was given some in exchange for collecting a very sweary teen and delivering emergency milk/shopping. Twice.

Emergency shop at ex's local corner shop.

Took kid to meeting and collected.

Watched a film with the sweary teen for some bonding time.

Got kid supper.

Put some holiday stuff away in garage from car.

Fished out the holiday spare food tins and packets from the car boot and brought upstairs to the flat.

Not too bad really. (For my level of energy)

Today was the first time out since getting home from holiday. Over socialised in the outside world and need to recover!

Blue bottle kill rate: about 14 or the minging nasty bastards. Ex forgot to.take out the bin before holiday. And there's a dead rat in his garden.

I shoot them with antibac spray turning them from flies to swimmers. At least if they fall behind something and recover from being near drowned they are not trampling their dirty little feet over everything and they (eventually) die clean!

I have a phobia of flies.

GonnaGetGoingReturns It sounds like your family has grown up with space
to have lots of stuff in and now some of you have less to play with, and have amounts of stuff suited to the original space.
Your brother sounds like he isn't wrong about the value in things, even if he hasn't got on top of how to make them pay sufficiently.
I can actually understand the not wanting to sell the paintings he's done. They can be very personal as well as possibly perfectionism at play.

It's an odd one, but I've found I need to make the decision to sell work before I have created it, not after!
When I create to sell, tbh I actually reign in some creativity and think of the end users needs when creating. When I just create, I find so much out about the process and often myself, and those things become personal in the process, if that makes any sense.

BlackeyedSusan Yay! 😃Good to see you!
You are "doing" many "something"s!

You sound like you are making progress, especially with keeping the garage tidy and being able to easily find the holiday stuff and mainly getting it straight back too. It's a great feeling when a system works!

Update: I spoke too soon about aunts and teens. Cleared up a mess and more damage they’ve caused there and was cutting brambles back, when two girls tried climbing over the fence even though they could see me! Asked them what they were doing and got a very rude and entitled two-word reply, but they went swiftly at least. Reported it all again.
Got a bit more done there and took two sacks of brambles etc from aunts and all the sacks of cuttings from here to a public composting project.

Lost a day and a half and now most of today, to combination of hospital and chasing around over Ulez and council tax stuff. None of it going well.

Sorted out a little bit more of shared work space but printer not working, so didn’t get ornament filing photo’s printed.
Today's been spent at clinic so far and I’m now trying to recover and motivate myself to get on and sort for what's left of this afternoon.

I had a strange experience yesterday watching a YouTube video of someone who's channel I follow. Just so happened they were moving out of the family home into a house share. Part of that process had been saving for décor and decluttering the old tatty basics before moving. So they moved and the next day a bunch of packages arrived. Furniture, bedding, lamps and ornaments. They went shopping for plants.

And I couldn't help but compare with my own experience. When I moved out of the family home I already had so much. Plants, ornaments, bedding, books and of course clothes. I had all the bedroom furniture I needed too. This person on YouTube had almost nothing, except clothes, a desk and a bed, once the tatty had been decluttered. They had not spent their young life collecting things like I had. So even though at that stage I had a normal amount of stuff, I can see how the hoarding vibe had already started. And of course I remember the many times I pulled everything out into a pile in the middle of my childhood bedroom floor and decided, konmarie style (although she probably wasn't born back then), what to keep and what to discard quite ruthlessly, because I didn't want to be like my mother.

Contrast it further with my last move and the endless unpacking of boxes I'd brought with me from the previous home and storage places, the furniture I had to buy to store it all in and the dilemma of what to put where so it doesn't look awful. Not how do I want it to look, just what looks least awful.

I looked at the YouTuber choosing a few things to decorate their new room with, whilst still having everything they need and lots of empty space, experiencing zero worries about where will it all go because there was no "all" and I thought - I remember that, that feeling of starting fresh, of not being overwhelmed with stuff, of knowing exactly where everything is. It made me realise how far I'd stepped away from that, how out of control things had got and made me more determined than ever to get to grips with the excess.

I've done a cupboard recently. It was packed out, now it looks ordinarily full (don't think I already posted about that yet, forgive me if I'm repeating myself - I lose track)

Thanks Elle.

Yay to the cupboard sorting. Well done.

Interesting to read both your posts. It is much easier to not buy stuff than get rid. I need to stop buying and use up.

Ds is a get ridder. DD not so much. Me not at all really.

<Eyes yarn stash>

I need to stash bust. Sounds like an excellent excuse to sit and crochet. but then I am not cleaning agghhh.

So far today:
Hung two and a bit loads of washing and put two in the wash.
Made Ds breakfast.
Put some dry pots away. Need to finish then wash up.

BlueSummerBaby

When I moved out of the family home I already had so much. Plants, ornaments, bedding, books and of course clothes. I had all the bedroom furniture I needed too. This person on YouTube had almost nothing, except clothes, a desk and a bed, once the tatty had been decluttered. They had not spent their young life collecting things like I had. So even though at that stage I had a normal amount of stuff, I can see how the hoarding vibe had already started.

You were probably brought up with collecting and keeping what was seen as needed, it as absolutely correct behaviors.

I remember that, that feeling of starting fresh, of not being overwhelmed with stuff, of knowing exactly where everything is. It made me realise how far I'd stepped away from that, how out of control things had got and made me more determined than ever to get to grips with the excess.

Keep the faith!🙂

Susan It is much easier to not buy stuff than get rid. I need to stop buying and use up.

Stopping acquiring, is definitely the easier part of all of this.🙂

small update: I got more Xmas decorations photographed and into the right boxes. (Feels a bit like Susan's yarn stash busting! 😂) and three boxes and a bag down to storage for now. All are without their photo printouts so far, but I have at least written lists of what is in which box so hopefully will unite pics with them later, or at worst at Xmas!

Attacking jungle's today's target, but stopped for lunch - got MN distracted! 😊So far have hacked up yet another small part of huge fallen tree.

My mum's hoarding was confined to her huge wardrobe and cupboards throughout the house filled with all manner of things from toys to junk. There was space elsewhere. I remember an entire cupboard of flattened out carrier bags, rarely was one used for anything and more came in from shops constantly. They'd sit there slowly rotting away and occasionally a pile of holey ones would be discarded from the bottom. Her wardrobe was so rammed with blankets bedding clothes shoes etc , plus other random things that shouldn't live there, it was almost impossible to get clothes in or out. Even as a child I knew it was messed up and decluttered my own things annually. She was a big fan of keeping things "just in case", "of what?" was never specified

Nice things were kept "for best" which meant they were rarely, if ever, used. Everything home made, second hand or as cheap as possible if new. I kept everything through poverty, never having anything unless I'd scraped together the money from my tiny weekly allowance to buy it myself. So I became a bargain hunter, bin raider, make-do-and-mend, just-in-case, type of person. I used worn out, broken or raggedy things and saved nice things "for best". I'm not sure why I collected things, perhaps just to have something nice to look at or for the rare treat of being able to shop, even if it was just at the jumble sale or village fête

Growing up, selling something was fine, but throwing it out before it was totally broken or used up and beyond being repaired, was a big no-no

It's taken me a long time to think differently about any of this, until my 30's and it's still a work in progress. I think if I'd had a happier childhood I might not have collected things like ornaments or plants and if I'd been given everything I needed I might not have felt the need to hold onto everything I ever acquired "just in case"

BlueSummerBaby My mother was very extreme, but it's all bits of the same spectrum in the end. There's a lot of underlying stuff and ideas there that have a familiar ring.
Internalizing the idea that nothing should be used unless there is no other choice, is very common.

The just in case thing of excess unused good stuff, combined with not having one's needs met at the same time, seems to be the damaging bit.

So much imprints on us both unintentionally and intentionally, and can become our identity quite easily. Changing it is hard work, can throw up things that are painful to think about, and change takes time, but well done for confronting those ideas and questioning them and their relevance!

Update: Yesterday Aunt's place ok, (fingers behind back as haven't been since miday yesterday) Laundry, happened here, along with bathroom and corridor floors. Bit of a slow down on amount getting done as fallen tree is hard going, and taking it out of me, but one gardening bags worth hacked up into manageable compost sized bits.

The just in case thing of excess unused good stuff, combined with not having one's needs met at the same time, seems to be the damaging bit.

I must admit, finding out as an adult that my parents hoarded money, whilst I went without life's basics as a child, was one of the larger nails in the coffin of our relationship.

You're doing well with the garden clearance Elleherd. With winter coming you could consider posting on Facebook etc because people with a wood burner and chainsaw would happily come take most of the trunk and any large branches of your fallen tree. You're nowhere near me, I don't think, but there'll be someone in your area grateful to have it.