The Hoarders Anonymous Thread #7. Keep On Keeping On!

[Solo]

We are a mixed group of likeminded householders that are leading somewhat challenging lives; be that living with too much 'stuff' that we find difficult to deal with, houses that are falling apart (mine included), health issues within the family unit, wider family, or ourselves (myself included) that means sorting out our households is challenging, to say the least. So...

You are all welcome to join us for support, adding your own ideas to help others out, storage ideas, and even tips on actually getting those items out of the house which sounds so simple when you say it, but this part can be so very difficult; we are often attached emotionally to our 'things', afraid of letting things go just in case we need them.
Encouragement and support abound here, and we do not criticise. EVER! We even try not to criticise ourselves as it's not helpful to anyone, but this can be very difficult not to do.

If you are feeling overwhelmed by clutter, mess, disorganisation and generally don't know where to start. If you can't be bothered, but really do want to be bothered. If you think you are a bit lazy, or if you just need to see your highs and lows and everything in between on the screen here, join us, and we will help you. We'll virtually high-five your achievements - small or large, and virtually hug you when the need arises, and if you want a hug, just ask because we are here for you, here for one another because we get it. The art of washing up is sometimes our great achievement of the day, but it's still an achievement.

Welcome to thread #7 of Hoarders Anonymous - Keep On Keeping On!

Thread #6 HERE

I’m extra behind this week, but I’m blaming work events & end of term activities. Two loads of laundry today done, but no space to hang any more wet washing for now. A few items have gone in the rag bag, some paper recycled but nothing substantial.

I saw this poem on the tube and noted it down:

Clearance

Your worldly possessions are gathering dust
In a storage unit off Goodmayes High Road
No one will take the dressing table.
What need have we for these ornaments,
Old text books, the wedding dress you never wore?

By Kayo Chingonyi

I do have a wedding dress I never wore, but it is gathering dust in a relative’s house rather than a storage unit

Well done to all those getting stuff out of the house and catching up with laundry, it all helps.

Storage units are an awful thing for a hoarder. Out of sight, out of mind and pretend it's not happening. The amount of money that must be wasted on them. I stopped myself last year doing the same thing on a smaller scale. Almost bought a storage box for the garden at a cost of £70 before realising that the items I wanted to store, which I currently have no use for and possibly never will again, would cost less than that to repurchase! I still haven't been able to let them go for sentimental reasons, they're sitting in my home visibly reminding me that I need to make a decision on what to do with them. Better than wasting money on more things I don't need, just to facilitate hoarding. I can't imagine how daunting it must feel to clear out a storage unit, I'm overwhelmed just by the stuff in the home. Peace and strength to any of you having to deal with one.

I've put two t-shirts in a bag ready for the charity shop.

Done practically nothing for a few days. Off for a week for a little holiday tomorrow, so hopefully have some motivation for it upon my return.

I too have a bit of time off work and hope to do all the things but really struggling to get started. Collection booked for Wednesday so must DO things today and tomorrow.
Love the poem @Miaowse and needed the storage is not the answe @BlueSummerBaby.The only way is out.

Good luck getting everything sorted out ahead of the collection @FiniteSagacity

I plugged in my elderly shredder and managed to shred all the credit card statements I’d set aside for disposal. I also did a few school/sen documents, but I am drowning in a sea of paper so no visual change.

We actually had sun here today but I didn’t get a chance to hang the washing out and it feels a bit late now. Maybe tomorrow...

Hi all. I managed to tidy a little before I left for my week away while I was packing, so a little win.

Well done @TalkToTheHand123 and have a wonderful holiday!

I’ve caught up on the thread and just want to thank everyone for sharing, really helps to not feel alone. Just reflecting that dealing with ND teenagers, bereavements and grief, physical and mental health challenges, ADHD and unusable rooms and leaks and floods… how much more has to be coped with on top of ‘normal’ life. Let’s forgive ourselves for not being perfect against all that (even when it would be easier to cope with if the house was better!). It’s a lot.

Well done everyone for getting through another day - which is often a struggle in itself 💐

DC and hoarding parent have had hospital trips and operations this week and it was madness to think that just being off work I could ‘do all the things’ as well as being taxi and nurse. I’ve somehow managed to get 3 bags and 3 boxes out for a charity collection this week - Anglo doorstep collect from my house and this exit option has helped me - progress was possible because I’ve been gradually filling a donate box/bag (credit to a slob comes clean) and have a collection deadline once a month (although the date often seems to clash with work events so presents its own challenges 😬). I’ve also donated a game on a local Facebook group and put a few things in a bag for a younger child I know. Next need to fit in a trip to get rid of rubbish at household recycling centre, it’s amazing how much is not good enough to donate.

Getting started is still the hardest thing though and being okay with my efforts even on the days I’ve done 2 things. Keep on keeping on - and keeping each other going.

I've had two breakthroughs. Something someone said struck a chord with me and I've realised I'm shopping to self soothe. This is great, now I understand exactly why I'm doing it I can find a better coping strategy. The other thing was being messed around by one of my favourite companies and as I'm getting more and more into a minimalist mindset I've decided to stop shopping with them for the foreseeable future. They were the place I obtained the most items from so I'm hoping it'll help prevent things getting any worse.

Having an exit route is a huge part of the battle. I constantly fall down on this.

I have made my office look (a lot) worse before it hopefully gets better. I’m going to try to spend at least half an hour filing/shredding later today.

Keep on keeping on!

I have filed some of the papers, but I’m definitely hanging onto stuff I really don’t need. I have so much paper and 99.9% is never referred to. Cue voice in my head “but what if… better keep it just in case”.

While sorting out the piles I found an old notebook where I had written down a bunch of goals and I have achieved nearly all of them. It was interesting as I don’t recall writing them down, nor consciously working towards them, so maybe I need to write down a few house/clutter related ambitions!

Well done, everyone. The stuff is just the tip of the iceberg, isn't it? Family bereavement, hoarder partner with ADHD, menopause, full time job and own business here, plus awaiting medical test results.

I’ve mostly been watching videos on YouTube of other people decluttering and cleaning.

I decluttered some more old credit card statements and a notebook, a lipstick that is too pale for my colouring, and couple of sentimental (but never used) pieces of china I’m finally, finally ready to donate after 15years taking up space in my cupboard.

Hope the news is good when the test results come back @JFDIYOLO

@Miaowse thankyou 🤗

Not sure if I’ve mentioned this here but if you google cluttering/hoarding online you’ll find support groups, a woman talking about how she cluttered and hoarded but got help for it (in UK) and there are 2 books I’ve got which I think I’ve mentioned here.

The strategies in the book are quite a lot to cope with, so you have to have the time and patience to devote to it.

It’s interesting what @BlueSummerBaby says about shopping to self soothe. I’m sure I’ve mentioned here but I’ve done that, and also to create another life (not necessarily my life). It’s got me thinking after I watched an old episode of Flog It with a mosaic villa that I’ve neglected that sort of thing, days out to places I like and mosaic making as the hoarding I think keeps me safe/secure!

You can go down a rabbit hole of therapy for hoarding and I’ve had some therapy over the years but this thread is great! So often you see hoarding and clutter TV programmes which seem to be more about shaming the person rather than helping them, though they do help sometimes too.

Hi all. Caught up on most of the thread. Well done for the successes and best wishes to those struggling.

Returning to this 4 star tip after a little week away is a bit depressing, but hopefully can make inroads to 3 stars with a couple of days off.

I'd love to get some of the bedroom done.

@Miaowse , couldn't help chuckle about things getting messier before they get better, so true, it's very stressing at the time.

Love to all x

Oh god the office is now even worse, I’m in total despair.

I have hoovered and chucked out some rubbish & recycling, but so much just needs to go.

Decided to clear out the eves cupboard in the spare room and some of the loft this week of the holidays as dh off as well.
listed and few bits on Fb at the start of the week and ds bike sold and gave some shelves away on Fb. Also got a charity box, duvet and bag of clothes to the the charity shop yesterday. Had a box of ds baby clothes in car too went to the drop place and no one there so that will have to wait for next week now.

spent today organising ds bedroom. Sorted out lots of ds clothes that will be too small. Had a move around dusted and tidied and changed the bed. It looks good now and ds has room to build his hot wheel tracks.

Tomorrow will be spent trying to get some order in our bedroom and the office cleared so I can work next week.
All the rubbish to sort gets dumped in our room so that the spare room and other areas look good.

Ah @Miaowse , I think the house is out the hoarder zone but then think the small bedroom is pretty much a no go zone, loft needs a good sort and the garden too. Currently on day 2 of 4 for 10/12 hour shift so going to try do some late on or early mornings as waiting for days off isn't anywhere near enough. At this rate just keeping it at it is really 🙄

Slowly coming round to the idea less is more. Had a 4th go at a cupboard that I initially thought was finished the first time. I'd removed something to donate from the top thinking it'd make no difference. Wrong. I used that space to spread out the contents so everything wasn't jammed up against the next thing. Some things were already in small overflowing boxes. I added new ones, moved things around a bit. It's now easier to see at a glance what I do and don't have. Plus I can pick up the boxes, clean underneath and put back, which you can't do when it's all loose items. I didn't clean it this time and there are still some loose items so I'd like to organise it further. Can't believe how much time and effort I've needed to get to grips with this one small cupboard.

Also decided to let go of something that represented hopes and dreams for the future that never came true. It's making my heart ache to look at it so I've decided it's best if it's not there to look at. The item is showing age related structural damage, so if by some fluke of fate I did have opportunity to use it I'd realistically want to repurchase anyway. I've taken some photos.

Had to share that Dana K. White (a slob comes clean) is on the Mel Robbins podcast this week - I also love Mel and she has had some interesting episodes lately about health and anxiety - honestly I saved this for myself as a treat 😂(and will probably save it to listen to over and over).

For those not already listening to Dana, this is a great, free summary of all her strategies in less than an hour.

A little progress today so better than none as I didn't feel too well so wasn't going to do any at all. Cleared a couple of bags and tidied a bit of the kitchen. Spent about an hour and a half in total.

Sorting clothes is a top priority. Some reason I just can't get rid of some outfits I haven't worn in over 10 years 🙄😂

@TalkToTheHand123 I have clothes I’d never wear now that I can’t give up, yet. I think maybe I’m a bit sad for the me I used to be who wore those things. I’ve lost myself and it’s a gradual process.

@BlueSummerBaby it is cathartic when you can get rid of that heartbreaking item and it no longer weighs on you every time you see it.

@Miaowse the paperwork is definitely my Achilles heel too. I’ve been kind of trying to give types a place, just put types of paperwork together for now, then if tackle 1 or 2 items at a time and build from there at least it is some progress.

But this is hard and clothes and paper are not the easy stuff, for me.

I am making some other progress - donated (1 item) of old school uniform today - but it was also recon for how easy that was.

But I still can’t close the doors to my own wardrobe and there’s still plenty of trash in my house (including on the stairs which I seem to think of as a ‘sorting’ area). My kitchen/dining table is also back to worse than it was before Christmas.

But I’ve been super crazy busy and so I’m going to forgive myself, celebrate that I have made something better and tomorrow is another day.

Wishing you all a progress weekend, when you get there.