Hoarder's Anonymous, Part 6

[Solo]

Well, here we are embarking upon part 6 of our epic journey of sorting out our homes.

We are a varied group of likeminded householders that are leading somewhat challenging lives; be that living with too much 'stuff' that we find difficult to deal with, houses that are falling apart (mine included), health issues within the family unit, wider family, or ourselves that makes sorting out our households challenging, to say the least. So...

Anyone and everyone is welcome to join us for support, adding their own ideas to help others out, storage ideas, even tips on actually getting those items out of the house which sounds so simple when you say it. Encouragement abounds here, and we do not criticise. EVER! We even try not to criticise ourselves as it's not helpful to anyone.
If you are feeling overwhelmed, don't know where to start, can't be bothered but really do want to be bothered...think you are lazy, just need to see it in print here...we'll help. We'll virtually fist bump your achievements - small or large, and virtually hug you when the need arises, and if you want a hug, just ask because we are here for you. Here for one another because we get it - the highs and the lows, the art of washing up is sometimes our great achievement of the day, but it's still an achievement.

Welcome to thread #6 of Hoarders Anonymous - Carrying On Sorting It Out

HERE

I'm gathering landlord’s insurance doesn’t cover it because of something that was or wasn't done, when it was first discovered years ago.
I’m afraid if it’s more than one wall or room, as long as it doesn’t get wet, it’s staying there! The level of physical work is knocking me for six, and stress over the authorities, and possible financial penalties, is more than I can cope with.

Yes, I found a how to guide on-line, and it seems to not be that difficult, though to do it well probably is. But I’ll settle for knocking it back for long enough for aunt not to be worried about it, rather than successfully curing it for her landlord.

Materials bill so far is very cheap, partly because I already had many of them. I doubt I’ll see back the money on fuel tbh, but the killer will be her electricity bill. I’m not even looking, it will only terrify me. Aunt desperately wants to be home and independent, and I’ve warned her being in deep debt to her electricity provider may be the price for it. It may not be very morally right but I’m out of other options for her, and we can face that bridge when it comes to it.

Update: Aunts, have been trying to clean as I go, but yesterday cleaned up the thousands of tiny flakes of plaster and paint that had escaped. Removal of the tendrils and drying out everything seems to have removed majority of smell.
Cut down and disposed of a chunk of bush that had shot up from rains making place look untended to, from outside. Got aunts 'soundproofing mats' (huge thick rubber things) that are totally in the way at the moment, to storage.

Here: delivered tv to work, as round the corner from (unavailable) recipient, and disposed of some refunded ‘wrong delivery’ cartons of drink to the food bank.

Today I have to do so much prep for work and study next week if I'm not to fall further behind, as well as launderette and food shop, so unsure how much else could be squeezed in.

Wishing all a productive Sunday.

You're not immoral for running up the electricity bill Elleherd. Most people would say the place was a state, SS have agreed to put aunt in a home therefore she's housed so there's no problem. You're doing her a massive favour trying to make her place habitable so she can come home.

I wouldn't worry about SS charging you, if she didn't return home they'd be footing the cost permanently anyway. I suppose they'd take eg housing benefit and most of her pension to pay for it, so at worst she'd only owe that amount? It's not like she'd have had to sell the house to pay for care so they're massively out of pocket, not when the house isn't hers. And it'd be your aunt's cost towards the care home, not yours, so I'd say it's empty threats to bully you.

I think you're doing the right thing just getting it to a basic habitable level. No insurance will pay out if it was first noticed ages ago and nothing done about it. It's the landlords problem to fix it permanently. If they prefer to let the building decay that's up to them.

I've stagnated a bit dealing with everything. I've sorted out the garden which is looking lovely now. I'm still identifying the odd thing here and there to get rid of. Mostly things for donating or recycling and not landfill, which makes me feel better about it.

Hi everyone. I hope you are all doing well.
I'm going to start a new thread now as we are so near to the completion of this one. I'll link it before closing this one.

I just made a new thread but my laptop froze and I lost it. I'll come back to it before the current thread ends.

No progress here. Still doing Mum's place and she's driving me crazy so when I'm at home, I don't feel much like doing anything.

BlueSummerBaby Thank you. I hope you're right about them being empty threats. The big fear is to do with the two lots of 'rent' going on after the agreed date, and I'm still waiting for the other shoe yo drop. I signed something in order to make things happen, and embarrassingly can't remember what exactly it was.
Nice to have the garden sorted, well done.

Solo Great to see you, so sorry you're being driven crazy. I've come to the conclusion it's just impossible to to do two places at once along with everything else in life.

My only update is two more cartons of drink to foodbank, launderette happened on Sunday and have watched in fear as it's bucketed down again, and any idea that I could leave work on time and achieve stuff was a fantasy, which is why I'm up and at things this morning.

I cannot quite believe we’re already at Wednesday, this week has been a write off.

The weather here is rotten, no chance of getting washing hung out to dry.

How’s the flat Elleherd? You really are a saint and your aunt is very lucky to have your help!

Will look out for a new thread.

I fear more sinner than saint overall Miaowse but Thanks. yes it's blooming Wednesday already.

Weather hasn't been fun here either, but my drains have thankfully held, and I think though not 100% sure, that the outside of aunts wall has rebuffed it. The not 100% is because when it first rained, I got a whiff twice of the horrible smell, but it was momentary and lifted, so fingers crossed.

I've done some experimental drilling into the masonry (and replaced the broken drill bit and learned how to do it properly!) and mixed up and applied the first coat of biocide and set it up to dry. Today I was going to do so many things, because I had no paid work, but reality is I pulled so many muscles yesterday, I haven't done a darn thing beyond prep food for others, and now need to prep for work tomorrow.

How is everyone getting on?

I’ve done a few things this morning - put on a wash, filled the dishwasher ready to go on once the laundry is done, put out the recycling, sprayed the sink, all the downstairs windows are open to get some air circulating and I’m now on the sofa on mumsnet pondering what to do next.

To do:

Sink
Hob
Fold dry laundry
Put away laundry mountain
Find homes for surface clutter/get rid (mammoth job, but any progress = good)
Wipe surfaces
Sort out the black bin
Clean the floor
Wipe cupboards
Check fridge for manky stuff (did this horrible job not long ago so shouldn’t be too bad)
Decide what to eat later/tomorrow & defrost if necessary
Make a batch of meatballs for the freezer
Coffee and toast!!

I wonder how many I’ll manage… I’m going to set a timer for 15mins and see how I go.

Well I did 2x15mins.

Sink - done
Hob - done
Fold dry laundry - most items not yet dry
Put away laundry mountain - 2/3 done

My laundry load has just finished so I will hang that out and put on the dishwasher, then skip to coffee and toast.

Well done.
Right now I keep putting off a lot of cleaning jobs thinking it will be easier to clean after I've tidied/decluttered.

I joined the thread a while back but didn't do anything for about a month. I couldn't be bothered decluttering due to a combination of my mental health and the bin men on strike and dumps shut. I couldn't be bothered.

We were on holiday 2 weeks ago and I ended up buying Ds so much souvenir tat. 🤦‍♀️

On a positive note, I took 6 large bags to charity shop yesterday.

That’s excellent MarthaMayWhovier 6 bags is loads!

Yes, cleaning would be so much easier if surfaces were clear - a quick wipe would take seconds instead of having to move stuff bit by bit (not to mention dust/dirt on the stuff itself), more often that just doesn’t happen.

Miaowse thank you for the reminder of how much can get achieved in 15 min blasts. Well done.
MarthaMayWhovier Dumps shut, and striking bin men alone, would dent most of us. 6 bags is indeed loads! Well done.

I probably shouldn't encourage 'cheating,' but especially in the kitchen and bathroom, I keep most surface clutter on trays so I can at least clean behind and under easily. It also means I can take a tray of clutter to another room and clean it while on the phone etc.

Bit of a perfect storm here. What I thought was badly pulled stomach muscles was the precursor to a major Chron’s flare up and actually knotting stomach muscles. Keeled over completely on Thursday, as in literally unable to get out of bed. Haven’t been able to go to work, eat, barely drink, or do anything other than try and maintain basic hygiene.
The other shoe finally fell on Friday over aunt. Adult social services called wanting to meet me there to inspect with just a couple of hours’ notice and bring me a bill for ‘unauthorized overlap care’. Also hustling me to hand over aunt’s keys to them. (have previously told me to get a set copied)

Told them to post the paperwork and contact me Monday for an appointment! (TMI, but I threw up during their phone call, which may just have helped.)
Really couldn’t get up yesterday despite desperately needing to. Have managed to this morning and not great but mobile. Am currently trying to get half a bowl of soup into myself and see if I can drive. Launderette has to happen, and if I possibly can, will go to aunts and try and figure out what to do about anything or everything, or not.

Welcome @Loginmystery, @NotAMumNotByChoice and @NelliePig! 🤗

@BabiesEverywhere huge congratulations on your progress, it’s very inspiring!!! I hope your decluttering journey will come to an end very soon! ☺️

@zebrashoes “All the clothes I buy are like a collection, I buy things I won't wear
self-esteem does come into it I think, I buy for the me I'd like to be”.

It’s pretty much the same here. In my mind I’m buying beautiful gifts for this woman whom I so struggle to become. It is like a delayed prize for myself – once I am her, those things will be mine. As for the current version of me, I don’t even feel like she deserves beautiful things! 😢

@Elleherd I have an utter respect for how you’ve been dealing with such challenging situations over the last two months. You are stronger than you think, and I admire your devotion to your great aunt! Also, you keep nailing it on the head with your words of wisdom 👌 ⬇️

“It’s inevitable we prioritize the time we have with those we care about over sorting out what doesn’t seem important at the time, as we know we can always do it any other time. However, as I've learnt the hard way, we can’t see what may be around the corner that’s going to change everything”.

This is something that I need to print out, and keep in front of me as a daily reminder. Yes, I love spending time with my friends and family, and I do appreciate that I still have them in my life but at the same time I don’t have the luxury to postpone my unhoarding any longer. I think I’ll have to actually SCHEDULE my friends and family time, and restrict it to a certain time of the day/days of the week to make sure I don’t use it as another way of escapism and an excuse not to deal with my hoard. I mean I do have a “Family Fun Day” slot in my weekly plan designed in accordance with the FlyLady’s Basic Weekly Plan recommendations but this type of activity usually spills over the rest of the week stealing time from other things.

“I wonder if the fact things get threadbare is because we have felt able to depend on them in the first place, and getting rid of what we find dependable…”

It’s not easy to admit but a hundred times yes!

“I also have another common problem; the desire to ‘save’ the unloved & unwanted from destruction”.

I suffer from this as well. This is exactly why and how I’ve ended up with many items passed on to me from other people – they would have happily thrown them out but I stepped in, and rescued them.

@BlueSummerBaby “I translated it into I don't want anyone to suffer like I did”.

I think this explains my rescuer behaviour perfectly. Wow, this thread digs out the things from my subconsciousness which I wasn’t even aware of 😱

@BlueSummerBaby “I'm focusing on not letting it get worse and making small improvements where I can. It is my aim that one day in the future when I die, someone won't have a huge job clearing out my things. As I get older I want to gradually own less”.

THIS! 💯

🍒 🌸 🍒 🌸 🍒 🌸 🍒 🌸 🍒 🌸 🍒 🌸 🍒 🌸 🍒 🌸 🍒

My September results were as follows:

🍒 cleaned/sprayed/stuffed with paper/put away my warm weather shoes (three pairs);

🍒 cleaned and put away my beach flip flops (used them during my August trip) and a pair of indoor slippers which I wear from May till September;

🍒 washed/folded/put away my warm weather clothes;

🍒 cleaned/stuffed with foam chips/put away my warm weather handbag;

🍒 did some finance admin: adjusted my budget/financial planner in view of the current inflation; closed down one of my PayPal accounts which I had stopped using last year; cancelled one of my paid memberships;

🍒 reduced the total number of my email addresses – instead of seven I now have five – and read/sorted all of the correspondence across four of them;

🍒 sold one item on Vinted.

See you all on a new thread! ❤️

Hope you feel better soon ElleHerd

How is everyone? Very nice to see your update Cherry. I’m ever so impressed by the care you take with your stuff! Cleaning and stuffing shoes before storing is so sensible but most people wouldn’t think of it/bother to do it.

CherryMargo
I'm so impressed with your organization skills! Well done!

But, honestly, forget whether you deserve to use the good stuff or not, (though of course you do) because not only do those beautiful things often deteriorate while they wait, but so do we. The gorgeous clothes don't look so gorgeous as our bodies age and need different bits hiding not accentuating, and it's rare jewellery that sit's better on aging hands and necks than younger ones. The beautiful nursing chair that took 15 years for us to finally re-upholster is little use when you can't rise from it. Someone else's four pairs of unworn different colored amazing shoes just crumbled away in my hands, as I took them out of their boxes, because the slim wedge soles were a plastic rubber compound that age alone corroded, and I've seen beautiful art books 'foxed' (brown spreading spots) even though these things were well stored and preserved from moth, mice, and beetle.

Unexpected non age related disability dramatically reduces one's ability to unpack, maintain, shift, even dump, what once was something you could just do and off sails the ship you should have been on.

And sadly I have to throw you and the thread, that I've not updated, because what was round the corner for me on Sunday, was to collapse completely and be and remain hospitalized.
We are back to mental planning and prayers and bills.

For now it's cheering the rest of you on...

Oh my goodness, so sorry to read that Elleherd, sending get well soon wishes. Very wise words as always - we never know what is around the corner

@Elleherd so sorry to hear your news and, sending you strength and wishing you feel better soon 💐

@Elleherd hope you get better soon !

Oh no, @Elleherd 😢 wishing you an easy recovery!

You’ve made a really good point regarding deterioration! One of my biggest fears is that I will NEVER become a woman of my dreams, and will never enjoy my curated collection of beautiful things. I will try my best to overcome this psychological barrier, and use these items whilst I am still young(-ish).

Thank you all for being so lovely.

I hope I'll be forgiven for just having to say this: One of my biggest fears is that I will NEVER become a woman of my dreams... Lets aim a little lower and not become a woman of our nightmares! Definitely achievable😂

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NEW THREAD, NEW THREAD, NEW THREAD #7
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