MarthaMayWhovier Feeling fed up with ourselves goes with the territory. Sometimes it’s just small detours on a journey, sometimes it’s indicative of things that need to be tackled.
Would you be able to look at the bulk of new stuff give it a ‘sq foot, or X sacks size’ and attempt to dispose of the equivalent size of old stuff? It doesn’t have to be in one hit, more a work towards... (you are down by the space of a dinosaur and a book already)
One of the hardest things I found about stopping acquiring, was facing up to why I did it in the first place, and what it was a substitute for, and why it had apparently become out of control. (I say out of control because I could see I had nowhere for anything to go, and yet there I was constantly bringing in more regardless.)
For me, in the end, stopping going into shops, and onto sites had to happen before I could start fathoming it all out. While I didn’t understand why at the time, I knew I was effectively addicted to acquiring and the strange sense of wellbeing it temporally brought, in all forms, and cutting off the suppliers I was paying was a first step.
If the influx of toys isn’t welcome, but you don’t want to upset mum, could you ask her to limit it to small items only.
Miaowse No reason why you’d keep up with my mad family machinations. But I think you have the flavour of the lot of us here. Resistant to dealing with the stuff!
I do like the idea of asking for help, but not sure it’s appropriate.
And no, it’s certainly not ‘just you’ who suffers ‘immediate visceral shame!’
Well done with the sensible systematic clearing and leaving out the stuff that doesn’t need to return. Enjoy the avalanche free shelf.
Not expecting anyone to absorb any of this but explaining forces me to rationalize what I’m doing.
Aunt is technically Great Aunt. She had a fall about a year and a half ago, went into hospital and things have been up and down ever since.
After another hospital spell earlier this year, respite care was agreed to allow physio, and get her place sorted out.
I’ve been slowly sorting her place out thinking I had to mid-September to do it. It’s my fault, I got it completely wrong and she’s actually overdue to leave, having over stretched all funding avenues. I was apparently informed of the change of dates and simply forgot!
In a nutshell in under two weeks’ time I’ll be being charged either the respite home fees or rent and CT on her home if she isn’t back in it, but it needs to be passed acceptable first.
The worst is actually done, it was very cluttered, and I suppose still is fairly, just organised so it’s functional, and she can move around safely. She did allow me to get rid of lots of out of date food etc and obvious rubbish.
Thinking I had plenty of time to sort, I’ve actually further cluttered the living room by piling up all the bags of random things and loose items that that didn’t have any obvious place in there.
It also has an area of damage (ceiling and two walls) that still needs sorting, and while I can paint using a pole roller, the actual repairs are beyond me.
There’s also an iced-up freezer of doom with bulging door in the kitchen still.
Everyone wants me to just crate everything up and take it to storage so it can be later sorted there, and get the repairs done, using one of the last two days of help allocated to clearing the storage unit to do this instead. (thus, keeping the storage unit!)
I can see the logic but am completely against it. It’s the same old pattern, box everything up for a fast get out of trouble solution and breathe. But IME something else will then happen and I’ll be left with the storage bill that I can’t afford, and paying high fuel costs to go to try and sort it there instead of in situ, with toilet facilities dangerously far away, (burns up a lot of energy constantly having to get to them too) and everyone else will be too busy to assist with anything.
It feels like it takes each short term problem and instead of actually solving it, turns it fully into entirely mine, long term.
Probably the worst of both worlds but currently have decided to try and spend the next few days hard at sorting, clearing, and reassess the situation when I’ve seen how much I can or can’t get done.