Hoarder's Anonymous, Part 6

[Solo]

Well, here we are embarking upon part 6 of our epic journey of sorting out our homes.

We are a varied group of likeminded householders that are leading somewhat challenging lives; be that living with too much 'stuff' that we find difficult to deal with, houses that are falling apart (mine included), health issues within the family unit, wider family, or ourselves that makes sorting out our households challenging, to say the least. So...

Anyone and everyone is welcome to join us for support, adding their own ideas to help others out, storage ideas, even tips on actually getting those items out of the house which sounds so simple when you say it. Encouragement abounds here, and we do not criticise. EVER! We even try not to criticise ourselves as it's not helpful to anyone.
If you are feeling overwhelmed, don't know where to start, can't be bothered but really do want to be bothered...think you are lazy, just need to see it in print here...we'll help. We'll virtually fist bump your achievements - small or large, and virtually hug you when the need arises, and if you want a hug, just ask because we are here for you. Here for one another because we get it - the highs and the lows, the art of washing up is sometimes our great achievement of the day, but it's still an achievement.

Welcome to thread #6 of Hoarders Anonymous - Carrying On Sorting It Out

HERE

NotAMumNotByChoice Wow! that was swift of the block! Well done you, that's a great start. Did you manage to drop it?

I've culled a file of house paperwork for shredding, chucked some 'spare' bed slats, and a possibly repairable broken grabber, a 'repairable' backpack, along with a carrier bag of stuff.

Also made it to a (shared project) workspace I was using, and cleared up and removed 95% of my stuff, and managed to throw away some of it. the rest has gone in a box to be sorted later as I was running out of time and being indecisive. What's still there isn't in anyone's way, and I have another project there in a fortnight...

Washing and feeding all got done.

After all that about pulling out the stops over aunts home, I just wasn't able to get in there today! Not wishing to explain too much as identifying, but stuff involved in a nearby proclamation of the King made it impossible for me to park.
Yesterday did get quite a bit sorted there, and from my own mess, a big hand full of bills and receipts went.

I don't how helpful this is; when I'm feeling totally overwhelmed, I remind myself that I brought all this in, item by item, so that may also be how it has to leave. I also remind myself that the only way to eat an elephant, (or in my case a herd of them) is one forkful at a time. I don't focus on the enormity, just this one bit.

I dropped off a bag at the CS, then bought much more. Then went skip-diving.
Most of the CS bargains are excellent. Most of them will be given away or put on ebay.

Skipdiving was books, a tin of paint, a few bric-a-brac things. shoes, and paint and a wine box. I'll clean and keep the wine box, then probably donate the rest.

I have some books to take to the CS, but the book one is only open on certain days.

You did very well Elleherd

@Elleherd , it's a lot easier to drop off a few items than take all of it. Was in the charity shop yesterday and somebody brought in about 10 bin bags full. Said it was all good stuff, some unworn, and I just had to go back to check if they'd put it out.

It's a favourite brand of someone close to me, in her size, and I think she'll be very happy.

Hi, haven't posted over the last week or so, for various reasons haven't been able to do much physically so I've been deleting emails and old contacts from my phone. It sounds silly but my whole life is cluttered so everything I can get rid of is all a step, even a baby step.

@Elleherd

Hello!

Joining if I may! My whole house needs sorting. Recently got a Rheumatoid arthritis diagnosis and in the 6 months prior had such bad mobility the house has become such a state. That and the fact I can never seem to throw anything away.
Currently on a 2 month steroid taper so whilst I'm able to move about pain free I have decided room by room to de clutter everything and to be totally ruthless about it. My hope is that it should allow for an easier long term cleaning routine that I can manage on the bad days (and with a just 2 year old)

Started Saturday in the main bedroom so far I've gotten rid of

• 6 Black bags of mine/partners clothes, duvet covers, old towels, socks with holes and old pants.
• 2 chests of drawers that we no longer need now we have a lot less clothing.
• 3 larger cardboard boxes of things stored in the wardrobe (we've lived here 3 years and if I havnt touched it in 3 years, I doubt I need it!) I did keep the box of Christmas stuff though!

Today during nap time I'm going to clean the room, go through my makeup/beauty products and throw what I don't use & hopefully that's the main bedroom done.

Annoyingly our dump only allows one visit per 7 days and I've already been this week 😭

Phew! That was long!
Have read through the last few thread pages, but any advice appreciated.

Looking forward to the day it's all done & cleared!

NotAMumNotByChoice
Thank you. Well done getting stuff out, even if it got replaced. Keeping things moving and not stagnating can help with over attachment.
You sound like you may be at the place I was just a few years ago, where my habits felt rewarding and enjoyable, but the impact on my home didn’t.
Getting stuff out but still bringing it in, in quantity. Always gathering cheap or free, including for others, and ‘saving’ useful things that could still have a life. (somewhat compulsively in my case) Really good at spotting a bargain.

It is a good feeling when it works out, but at some point, for me it stopped really working out as often as it needed to, with more coming in and not in use, than going out or actually used. It took some time for me to recognize the balance had changed.
Also, I found the trips where a way of keeping myself out and about and busy so I didn’t have to face what I should have been doing.

Do you make much money on Ebay after expenses? I keep trying to persuade Ds to teach me, for trying to rid of some of the better stuff in the future, in the hope of getting something back on some of it.

zebrashoes

I've been deleting emails and old contacts from my phone. It sounds silly but my whole life is cluttered so everything I can get rid of is all a step, even a baby step.

It doesn’t sound at all silly! (over 7000 emails cluttering up my work inbox. ) You’ve hit the nail on the head about clutter affecting every aspect of our lives, and every step however small, being of use. It’s about making it easier to find and use what we have staying on a journey when things get thrown at us that stop us doing what we might have planned.

But most of all it’s part of changing our mindsets and un-sticking ourselves, questioning do I really need this, and why do I still have it? Well done you.

Hi NelliePig and welcome!
Sorry to hear about the diagnosis and the effects. That sounds like a very sensible reaction and plan, and you’ve got off to a really, really good start! Keeping a cluttered home clean and organized, takes up a ridiculous amount of time and energy.

Put glass doors on my shelves (Ikea Billy) and ensuring small decorative stuff lives there, cut down dusting. The Really Useful filing boxes - for keeping paperwork in one place tidily, just remember to go through them periodically. Extended handles/tubes for hoovers, grabbers, dusters, might help you? (am in a w/chair so essential)

Re getting stuff out: may not be a route you want to take, but if you have lots, and approach your council as having a hoarding issue, some allow extra dump visits.

Other options – use social media to find out where local clothing banks, textile banks, paper, plastic, wood recycling, in your area are, and separate out anything that can go to them, leaving more space for stuff only appropriate for the dump.

Less frequent, but some areas have unexpected large public bins to reduce fly tipping. (ours have just restricted what can be thrown away in them.)

If you’re allowed bonfires/incinerators and have a garden or yard, use for non-toxics.

Excess of usable clothes, furniture – there's charities and companies that will collect.

If you break stuff down enough, more will go in the bin than you think. Any friends/neighbors who might give you additional space in theirs?

Freecycle, Trash nothing, nextdoor.com, Gumtree freebies, can all be good for getting rid of stuff, along with putting things in a box outside with "Free – please take."

Boot/school fair- treat it as a de cluttering day out, not a money maker – ‘all must go £1/ 50p per item’ in huge letters, give items free to ditherers. Aim is free clearance.

Great tips @Elleherd thank you.
Currently in asda while my DD has some lunch so making a mental plan for today!
Quite excited to get my rooms back I won't lie.

@Elleherd
You sound like you may be at the place I was just a few years ago, where my habits felt rewarding and enjoyable, but the impact on my home didn’t.
Getting stuff out but still bringing it in, in quantity. Always gathering cheap or free, including for others, and ‘saving’ useful things that could still have a life. (somewhat compulsively in my case) Really good at spotting a bargain.
Also, I found the trips where a way of keeping myself out and about and busy so I didn’t have to face what I should have been doing.
Yes. Exactly that. Then instead of facing it, pouring myself a large glass of an evening.

Do you make much money on Ebay after expenses? I keep trying to persuade Ds to teach me, for trying to rid of some of the better stuff in the future, in the hope of getting something back on some of it.
The charges are quite high. I can't remember how much, but I try to list when the fees are lower.

How much do I make? Some weeks nothing, some weeks about £100 . Some things won't sell - the things that people are likely to search for attract the CFs. I try to word the listing so that they can't demand a refund, so I get 'item not received' raised.
P&P is quite expensive as I send everything tracked delivery. Get an inordinate amount of 'item not received' even when it's been signed for.

Not unusual for me to but something for £2 and sell it for £25 or £30.
Had a couple of things bought for £4 each sell for £64.
Bought a pair of well-worn luxury brand shoes for £1. They got only one bid of 99p. Buyer was unsurprisingly thrilled.

If I 'win' something on ebay and it doesn't fit or whatever, I relist it for what I paid and chalk it to experience.

I set up a bank account just for ebay about 9 months ago and it's got about £850 in it now, I think.

The items bought for £4 each sold for £64 each.
Yesterday's skip dive was an almost full tin of paint, which was one I needed anyway. I think I'll donate the shoes (or give them a good scrub and sell them), bric-a-brac, and I've given the wine box a good scrub and will varnish or wax it, depending on what I've got
There were also four books, two of which I already have copies, so I'll keep two and donate the others, and a nice pair of specs, decent brand in a case. I'll try to sell those.
I must have looked very strange rifling through a pile of rubbish in a very public place, and then carrying it home. I was lucky to have found two decent bags for life in a bin, and a piece of ribbon to fashion a strap for carrying the box.
Part of the problem is that the stuff that I bring in is often stuff that is cheap or free, and if I don't get it there and then, it won't be there if I change my mind.

If you have clothes, shoes, throws, kids toys etc. Vinted is currently doing me fabulously. Currently made £60 from selling bits I uploaded over the last week. I've seen a few threads on here with tips too, detto worth a look x

Sold a few things this weekend, but if I consider what I paid for them, not a huge amount of profit. Still, it was a profit.

NotAMumNotByChoice Thanks for the helpful overview of how you’re using Ebay and setting up systems to reduce potential problems. (have taken notes!)

You mentioned elsewhere that you where a freelancer so I’m assuming probably more than aware of the Trading Allowance system and how it interfaces. (am also S/E with sidelines)

It sounds like the gathering/ upcycling/ reselling brings you in around £23 per week gross currently.
You clearly have a good eye, so if the expenses and time spent on it are low, and you have time on your hands, it looks like a potential side-line. But, from other things you’ve said it sounds like you’d really benefit from having one area of your home clear and set up for doing this? Could that be a ‘where to start’ as an answer to overwhelm?

Generally I think it’s worth considering how much space is devoted to it, and does that work for you (and any possible other/ pack of Great Danes, etc) as there are hidden costs to most things. Physically separating it and what you need for working on it, out from your actual possessions, and possibly another workspace needed for your main work, might be a good place to start?

Part of the problem is that the stuff that I bring in is often stuff that is cheap or free, and if I don't get it there and then, it won't be there if I change my mind.
Yep, know this one well.
I'll come back to this later if you don't mind.

NelliePig Thank you for the Vinted info, and it’s good to have knowledge on here for those wanting to try and sell. Well done managing to get something back on stuff. It can be worth it for some, and not for others.

I’m not yet ready to try and sell online, as very IT illiterate and unsure, and getting to post offices etc is hit and miss (wheelchair and parking) but acquiring/keeping up knowledge as best I can, for when I’ve let go of enough other stuff, (of a mega situation) that I can start properly looking into it.
Nice to hear you’re “exited to get rooms back.” How did attempted finishing off the main bedroom go?

Update: Yesterday managed to get four more big boxes packed up at aunts and into storage. So much more to do, so still praying and keeping fingers crossed.

At home kitchen is still drying out, taking forever, so everyone’s on simple meals only.

Found a few of D’s good trousers that he’ll never fit again- put to one side as – try and sell or not? Exceptionally tall and extra-long trousers with a slim waist are hard to find and not loved by charity shops. Same with cycling stuff that there's a fair value to.

But another file of paperwork has been shredded and gone. Along with a carrier bag of rubbish.

About to go back to aunts and push on.

It's probably nowhere near as difficult to set up as you think Elleherd.
Unusual sizes will definitely sell, but you probably won't get lots of bidders, and it may take a while to sell them.
If your DH has very long legs, and the trousers are 35"+, they'll go.

My to go on ebay stuff needs to GO, but I'm hoping a lot of it will go when autumn comes. Not many people want coats and boots in a heatwave.

Hmm £20 odd quid a week isn't really enough to justify the junk.

@Elleherd our post lady collects from the house for free, so wonder if this would work if you sent royal mail if you ever decided to!

I've finished the main bedroom!! Finally.
Everything is still in bin bags awaiting a dump visit Saturday, but still.. it's one room down, feels great!

Next up - the office 🙈

Sounds like you've been productive today also!

I’m so impressed by those who have raised money selling. For ages I had big piles of stuff to try and sell but I decided to just charity shop it in the end (though stuff earmarked for charity shop/giving to someone else/going to the recycling centre seems to sit for months/years before I finally take action).

I have mostly stemmed the tide of excess stuff coming in, well bought by me anyway, barring a few categories where I still overbuy (stationery, cleaning stuff and a few others). I’m not to be trusted with charity shop books so now just don’t go in.

Nice to see new posters - welcome all!

NotAMumNotByChoice
Thanks for the opinion re DS’s trousers. 35’s and 36’s with slim waists.
Not really fussed about money from those, would happily give them away to a tall lad. I just know how hard and expensive it is to keep extra tall slim young men in trousers (and outsize shoes!) and I suspect the CoL rises will put many others where I was.

Hmm £20 odd quid a week isn't really enough to justify the junk. It is one of those things where it depends how much work you have coming in, what your expenses are, and whether you can develop it to raise profit margins without overfilling your home -
versus the negative impact on your home and hidden costs to lifestyle of ‘the junk.'

Part of the problem is that the stuff that I bring in is often stuff that is cheap or free, and if I don't get it there and then, it won't be there if I change my mind.

I wrote quite a long post about this and what’s worked dealing with that for me, but not sure if it’s needed, so edited down version.
One of many parts of my problem is the ability to see potential in so many things.
Watching TV hoarding programs, it's clearly a commonality for many of us.

Some involves money, for other’s creativity/inventions, or gifting to others, etc.
It is addictive. By the time people end up on tv clear outs, it’s become highly exaggerated with the items often deteriorated, but their minds still seeing the original potential and condition as well as attachment.

I'm a semi-reformed bargain hunter. I don’t buy/ acquire for direct sale, but did and do still sometimes, gather free/ cheap interesting materials for paid project work, and any storage for them, and have a weakness for free garden planters etc.

I also have another common problem; the desire to ‘save’ the unloved & unwanted from destruction. I’m good at salvaging, mending and giving new life, but I’m teaching myself not to ‘have to.’ There’s a lot about responsibility and unwantedness in there that I’m still trying to understand.

Miaowse
I'm also really impressed by the online sellers. It gives me hope that when I get down to the more serious/specialist stuff I might be able to make something back. However I am trying to give lots that 'might sell' to charity shops.

Stemming the acquiring is definitely one of the big ones isn't it.
I have stopped going down the cleaning stuff aisle when shopping. I have a frightening excess of cleaning and hygiene stuff, and know I'm seriously out of kilter over my feelings around it.
Also way to much stationary and books, and staying out of specific places!

NelliePig sadly no freebies from the Post Office, it’s a charged for service here.
Congratulations on getting your main bedroom done! Ignore the bin bags other than what you may be able to add to them from the office for the dump run. Good luck.

It was a reasonably productive day, thank you.

Got almost everything moved away from a damaged corner at aunts and hoping to actually have complete access by the end of today. Several half packed up boxes of her stuff, and an awful lot of cleaning achieved. Fingers hugely crossed over authority’s silence.

Home: Two carrier bags of stuff out, one into recycling which always feels better.

Elleherd your second last post resonates. I always thought I had hoarding tendencies but didn't understand it more than that.

I know I'm a nightmare for bargains and special offers because I grew up in poverty and couldn't always have what I needed so now I have a grab it while I can mentality, but my situation has changed and I don't need to be that way any more. Having more disposable income to grab things with has resulted in me having an excess of everything.

I didn't understand the rest of it though, until you said. It's all just like me. So I have a hoarding mentality then, although I'm a only a low level organized hoarder, so it could be worse.

I have a tendency i take responsibility for things I'm not responsible for and have been working to let go of that. Everything from others problems to their emotional state and single handedly trying to save the planet. What I've learned is it's unrealistic and I don't have to bother with any of it. Learning to live my life for me and in accordance with my own values has been quite freeing. I still offer suggestions to others if they have a problem but I no longer listen to them endlessly moan about it when they've failed to take anybody's advice. If they're sad about their problems that's ok, they can go be sad somewhere else, I don't have to fix the situation for them.

Selling I've found causes as many problems as it solves. It can be a useful side hustle but I feel it's something for when your life is fairly sorted out already. Storing stuff creates mess and takes room, as does packing up for collection/post. In an already cluttered and messy home it doesn't really work. It's addictive too, I get just as much buzz from a sale as from acquiring a bargain. I can get irritated if something doesn't sell when I know it has value, too. The temptation is to become obsessed with where it can be advertised to be seen by the right sort of buyer. If you're not careful selling can take up hours of your time with little financial rewards. For those who work it might make more financial sense to work more hours and donate/recycle the stuff. Selling is also time you're not spending cleaning, decluttering or organising your home.

I'm getting better at decluttering though thanks to these threads. If I own something that can't be old because the condition isn't good enough or its obsolete, if I've felt the need to buy a newer better version for myself, then the thing likely doesn't have value or use to anyone so I should get rid. Even though it's not totally used up/ruined.

Oops. "Can't be sold "