With no parents as a child to help me to learn cleaning/ organisational/ budgeting skills, my home has become horrific and I am hoping someone has tips please? Possible TW in my background

[LadyInParis]

So as above, I never had effective parents (so called father ditched when I was 2, mum then married stepfather when I was 4, and all I saw from then until she committed suicide when I was 13, was an alternate cycle between when she left him and became a happy and sober single wonderful mother who taught me how to be the kind genuine and considerate person I am today, and she was lots of fun, and the other half of the cycle where she got back with him, and exposed me to viewing extreme physical abuse from him to her, and then her subsequent drinking and not being present as a parent. I saw her being wheeled out by paramedics throwing up pills and so on, it was horrific, then she committed suicide when I was 13.)

So as a bit of background I was basically living in fear all of the time, and desperate need for validation and love, as well as the need to protect her and my little brother, it was all just pure emotional and physical trauma. Always basically in survival mode. Although she was a wonderful person and a wonderful mother when she was well (I understand this may be hard to understand- as on the face of it you could easily say she was the worst mother ever but.. I was there- and I can’t take away from her the wonderful things she taught me)

Anyway I digress! The point is from age 2 up until age 13, my life was one big mess of emotional chaos and trauma. From there, I was passed around from family member to family member, often in extremely toxic environments. I recall being around age 15/16 and running away. To avoid the streets I (unbelievably) went to stay with my stepdad (I know ) but I really didn’t want to live on the streets. After a while he sat me down and told me I had to leave. I was heartbroken thinking I had done something wrong. On the contrary- in his words (remember I was 15/16) I “reminded him too much of my mum and he ‘wanted’ me.” (This turned out later to be the tip of that vile iceberg). Then I went into the hands of social services who deemed me “too old” for proper housing with say foster care but too young yet for a real home of my own. In other words we can’t help you... so they put me in a bed and breakfast alone and gave me 5 pounds a day to live on. My life did improve to some extent and I ended up in college then university and then later got my own flat. By then I had run up huge debts. Was behind in many bills, and generally struggled to maintain or create any kind of proper home life schedule in terms of budgeting, shopping, paying bills and all of that stuff. I was often in the dark and freezing cold with no food because of my lack of skills meaning I had no money for those things. I struggled to maintain jobs, I just struggled. I was there for 7 years before I went to Paris, and met my now fiancé who I live with, in Paris, and he provides an excellent source of emotional support and has a very good job meaning that although I don’t work (I don’t speak the language despite living here for 3 years and I struggle to even go out) we don’t struggle for money. I am still clearly struggling to “be an adult”.

So when we first moved into this apartment (our second one) I was so happy. I had a cleaning cupboard, I kept it so lovely and clean and it was amazing. Then I suffered a really bad bout of long depression. And my fiancé and me let the place get out of control. Which made my depression and anxiety worse, and therefore my coping skills and house keeping skills worse. Like a cycle.

I have now gotten out of this cycle of depression and I want my home back!!! I want to learn to budget. I want to do shopping that doesn’t leave loads of out of date wasted food. I want to cook daily and clean daily (normal top up cleaning) and plan my budget and shopping around the weekly meals. He works so so hard to give us a wonderful life. I think the least I can do, instead of staying in bed depressed all day, is keep a nice home and cook dinner for us both, and do the food shopping (because when I got into my depression he was working hard, doing the shopping, getting my medicine, washing clothes, etc) and this really isn’t on. He’s been great about it, but that isn’t the point. I want to take all this stuff off his hands- he has recently become extremely stressed and quite unwell due to exhaustion and this was a big factor in me having my eyes forced open and waking me up to real life - pulling myself out of my depression. The shame of it!!

There are so many repairs I need to do. Painting too which is half finished. I need to also essentially clear out whole rooms to clean inside cupboards then re fill them after a sort out. I need to have a good sort through and get rid of clutter. I need to clean the sofa. I need to clean every single surface and continue the painting and do the repairs. All whilst implementing the new budget and cooking and shopping regime. I need to wash soooo many cushion covers and throws and clothes. I need to make space. There is so so so much that needs doing that I am just completely overwhelmed by it all. The whole place needs a complete overhaul, scrub, sort out and throw, clean, organise, and repairs as well as decorating finished. All whilst maintaining said food and shopping stuff as above.

I don’t know where to start, it’s all so overwhelming that I feel massively stressed at the idea of it all. It makes it so hard to just even start! I don’t know where to start! I have a list of all that needs doing, and I have made charts for budgets and things like that.

But practically speaking I don’t know where to start. All I see is the whole thing. I struggle to break it down in my mind. I’m lost.

Does anyone have any kind of advice or ideas on how I can start the process and see things I can do one at a time rather than seeing the whole thing and being overwhelmed? Has anyone been in similar, and gotten through it? And how? Anything would be helpful right now. I am so ashamed and I really really miss the beginning when we first moved in and I had my cleaning cupboard and everything was done to the T- I even used to dry the kitchen sink I was that “on top” of things. I miss that so terribly!

I never had a role model ever, to see how a house should be run. Although I know how, it was never ingrained in me and my mental health and trauma means that even though I technically “know” how to be a proper adult, it’s very hard for me to actually put it into place. Especially when I get depressed. Once our home is back to normal I know it’s so much easier to keep on top of. But how do I get back there? It’s so very overwhelming. I’m scared.

Please help?

Oh I couldn’t cope with the dying part of it.. but they always manage to come back so 😂

Glad you sorted your kitchen. It’s such a relief isn’t it! I had no idea how much I liked regular keeping on top of it cleaning. Or how much I actually adore cooking! Iv kept that routine a while but I’m enjoying it more and more! Especially now! Can’t wait to finish this apartment and just to regular keep on top of it cleaning, and lots of time for cooking then! I can experiment and play around with recipes, try more baking stuff etc!

I hope you have a nice night too! If greys anatomy is good I might give it a try .. tomorrow of course!!

When I was cooking, just now. As an example, I really enjoyed keeping it all clean and tidy as I went, then cleaning thoroughly after it all went in the oven. It’s the overwhelm when it’s all too bad and messy that’s hard. When I’m done I’ll be keeping on track this time - it’s never been this bad and it’s taught me a lesson!

I do understand what you mean about small kitchens meaning harder to keep things tidy! It’s difficult 😣

I am very impressed by your photos

Thank you 😊 it’s hard, it’s a fight between motivation vs the desire to “stay safe” in bed. Weird as it sounds. It’s like it’s a safe place and everything else is so so scary. The world is scary. Real life is so scary. So I have reduced my world down to my bed... but I don’t want to live that way. So I keep fighting. Whether that be by making dinner every night, or finally kicking depressions ass by scrubbing the kitchen, and the rest of the apartment. Well a little bit of both would be cool and I feel better trying to kick depressions ass yesterday than I have in ages, or ever have by “staying safe” in bed! So there’s that! I’m made up to be honest. It’s kind of like I looked in the closet and under the bed and the monster I thought was going to eat me didn’t even exist.

I love my photos too, I’m glad you liked them thank you!

Well done, op. It all looks lovely - really neat and clean. As you said, now you can maintain it. It should only take minutes a day, hopefully now. So pleased for you. It's life-changing and you really deserve it. X

I have been doing a combo of TOMM and Flylady for about a year now and it's so much better. I do fall off the wagon now and again when work is busy or children need me more but it doesn't take long to get back once you have decluttered etc...like you have done.

I think it is important to give yourself grace at times though. Some days you (meaning, one) might only do half of what is on your list but as long as you do something, that is progress.

If there are days later on, when you have less motivation than you do now, set a timer for 10 mins and just do that. Often, I then do more as got into the swing of it.

@Amore2

Thank you so much! So my fiancé has started trying to use my lovely clean kitchen as a chill out area I caught him in there on the fold out chair asleep! 😂 I asked him why and he said because it’s so nice and clean in there haha! So I have an idea while he’s still off work which is to get him to do the lounge while I show him how and what to do- so he has a room to relax properly in, with the pride that comes from working hard on a room yourself. I found that when I cleaned the kitchen, it created such pride that it has made sure I keep on top of it and spend time there. So I think if he does the same for the lounge then he will feel such pride he won’t let it get messy again. We will get there

Still need to do the lounge, bedroom. Toilet room and shower room. And then repairs and finish painting and putting out ornaments. The toilet room and shower room won’t take long at all. Then the other two will be much easier than the kitchen as well so I think it will all be done by end of the week (the cleaning) and I can do the repairs and painting and ornament stuff next week when he’s at work. We’re getting there then the great links and research other’s suggested, I can apply to the daily upkeep (once it’s all cleaned!)

Feeling positive! Can’t wait for proper after pics to show you all! Tonight I’m going to make a pie and then some cupcakes 🧁 it’s all going well and I’m so happy about it! I really appreciate all the advice and the compliments

It means more than you know it really does. I’m so happy and lucky to have your help xxx

I think it is important to give yourself grace at times though. Some days you (meaning, one) might only do half of what is on your list but as long as you do something, that is progress.

This is a very good point. I could have blitzed the lot in a couple of days but it’s not a very healthy way to do it so I have been taking rest days and just keeping on top of the cleaning in the kitchen

Are you still in Paris? There are several charitable organisations there that teach life skills - they’re usually aimed at child refugees but they teach all sorts from cooking, to budgeting, to cleaning and car maintenance. Let me ask around for a few names.

@GrumpyHoonMain

That sounds amazing! Yes I’m still here thank you so much !!!

You are doing so amazingly well! I do think you were being way too hard on yourself before though as your before photos aren’t anywhere near as bad as you made it sound, so please do be a bit kinder to / about yourself as well as congratulating yourself for the successes so far

Just want you to know @LadyInParis that you’ve inspired a similar de-grubification of my place. Unfortunately it’s not a romantic, French garret. It’s a big, old house in Australia. Big kitchen, big, fluffy dog (shedding, of course!) teenagers leaving their junk everywhere. Vile. I’m also pissed off atm, so currently channeling my spite into scrubbing the kitchen cupboards.

Hi all! So as an update- feeling positive today because only got a few bits in the lounge to finish, then the small quick toilet room and shower room to do today. Then tomorrow a half day to sort the bedroom (so that he can enjoy the last half of his last holiday day before he goes back Monday).

When he goes back Monday, as he’s working, I’ll be;

*Sanding the small bit of damage the dog chewed on one or two of the door frames

*Repairing the corner where she did chew quite a bit with some ready made plaster

*Painting the windows doors and the skirting boards in white

*Removing the tape and cleaning the windows and the glass panels in said windows and doors

*Painting the hall railing / cleaning cupboard / small electric cupboard (very light mint green)

*I also put a table and chair in the hall for a few reasons. I wanted to make him a little “man area”- where he can smoke and have a beer to chat while I’m cooking at the end of the day, to spend time together catching up and bonding while I cook. It’s nice for him to have “his area”, and also be able to bond while I’m cooking etc. And also a good way for him to step away from the computer and have a coffee or whatever so he can take regular short breaks away from the computer screen (it was really messing up his eyes) and as a break from work each day to lower his stress levels which were terrible, really messing him up! And also for him to have his breakfast and snacks away from his work screen etc. In other words it’s a nice man area, get away from work to separate work and family life and eating area, and chatting while he relaxes and I cook so we can bond area.
I’ll be painting these the same shade of mint green too. So they match.

*When the plaster is dry on the repair I will paint it white- it’s been recently painted (the whole hall) in white anyway so I’ll just have to go over that area won’t take long

*Clearing out the lounge cupboards and organising them

*Go through both wardrobes to see what we need to throw, keep, and put into neat organised piles etc including an area for our bedding and such

*Sort through bedding to make sure all are clean. Including pillows etc and put spare things away

*Sort through coats shoes etc and any we keep clean then store

*Polish wooden floors

*Put a system in place for recycling as I would like to start this

*And the regular stuff such as keeping on top of cleaning (it will all be done by then so minimal things) cooking, making extras so I can have days off from cooking, shopping, etc.

Of course this won’t all be done in one day! He will be working so it’ll be something like this maybe:

Monday:

*Sanding the small bit of damage the dog chewed on one or two of the door frames

*Repairing the corner where she did chew quite a bit with some ready made plaster

*Painting the hall railing / cleaning cupboard / small electric cupboard (very light mint green) including his table and chair “man area” items

Tuesday:

*Painting the windows doors and the skirting boards in white

Wednesday:

*Removing the tape and cleaning the windows and the glass panels in said windows and doors

*Now the plaster is dry on the repair I will paint it white

Thursday:

*Clearing out the lounge cupboards and organising them

*Go through both wardrobes to see what we need to throw, keep, and put into neat organised piles etc including an area for our bedding and such

Friday:

*Sort through bedding to make sure all are clean. Including pillows etc and put spare things away

*Sort through coats shoes etc and any we keep clean then store

Saturday:

*Polish wooden floors

*Put a system in place for recycling as I would like to start this

And the last bit I noted “And the regular stuff such as keeping on top of cleaning (it will all be done by then so minimal things) cooking, making extras so I can have days off from cooking, shopping, etc.” I will do from now anyway as I have been doing.

Of course, during this week of getting things finished and doing painting and repairs etc, if there is a day where I’m just not up to it, I will go easy on myself and just do it the next day. It would be so nice for it all to be done by the end of next week, small jobs here and there while he works but even if it takes two weeks I’ll be very happy. So it’s not a “must do in one week” list. More a “would like to have” guide.

I’ll continue posting cleaning before and after pics.

When I am all finished with everything I think it will be nice to have the before pics of the state I let it get into- the very beginning pics, along with the final all cleaned all decorated pics- the very end all done beautiful home pics, as a kind of conclusion to all of this.

I think it would help others too, to see the utter mess, then the clean and also decorated lovely after pics. To see that it can be done even through quite severe mental health and depression issues.

And then after that, maybe keep the thread for other things. “Adulting” stuff such as budget advice and other things. You know?

I’m very happy and excited. And I’m also so very thankful for the non judgement, the amazing advice, and also the posters who helped me to change my way of thinking regarding not being so hard on myself. That’s been most helpful it really has. I have very much enjoyed keeping on top of the cleaning so far too!

You’re all amazing!!

Hi all! So as an update- feeling positive today because only got a few bits in the lounge to finish, then the small quick toilet room and shower room to do today. Then tomorrow a half day to sort the bedroom (so that he can enjoy the last half of his last holiday day before he goes back Monday).

When he goes back Monday, as he’s working, I’ll be;

*Sanding the small bit of damage the dog chewed on one or two of the door frames

*Repairing the corner where she did chew quite a bit with some ready made plaster

*Painting the windows doors and the skirting boards in white

*Removing the tape and cleaning the windows and the glass panels in said windows and doors

*Painting the hall railing / cleaning cupboard / small electric cupboard (very light mint green)

*I also put a table and chair in the hall for a few reasons. I wanted to make him a little “man area”- where he can smoke and have a beer to chat while I’m cooking at the end of the day, to spend time together catching up and bonding while I cook. It’s nice for him to have “his area”, and also be able to bond while I’m cooking etc. And also a good way for him to step away from the computer and have a coffee or whatever so he can take regular short breaks away from the computer screen (it was really messing up his eyes) and as a break from work each day to lower his stress levels which were terrible, really messing him up! And also for him to have his breakfast and snacks away from his work screen etc. In other words it’s a nice man area, get away from work to separate work and family life and eating area, and chatting while he relaxes and I cook so we can bond area.
I’ll be painting these the same shade of mint green too. So they match.

*When the plaster is dry on the repair I will paint it white- it’s been recently painted (the whole hall) in white anyway so I’ll just have to go over that area won’t take long

*Clearing out the lounge cupboards and organising them

*Go through both wardrobes to see what we need to throw, keep, and put into neat organised piles etc including an area for our bedding and such

*Sort through bedding to make sure all are clean. Including pillows etc and put spare things away

*Sort through coats shoes etc and any we keep clean then store

*Polish wooden floors

*Put a system in place for recycling as I would like to start this

*And the regular stuff such as keeping on top of cleaning (it will all be done by then so minimal things) cooking, making extras so I can have days off from cooking, shopping, etc.

Of course this won’t all be done in one day! He will be working so it’ll be something like this maybe:

Monday:

*Sanding the small bit of damage the dog chewed on one or two of the door frames

*Repairing the corner where she did chew quite a bit with some ready made plaster

*Painting the hall railing / cleaning cupboard / small electric cupboard (very light mint green) including his table and chair “man area” items

Tuesday:

*Painting the windows doors and the skirting boards in white

Wednesday:

*Removing the tape and cleaning the windows and the glass panels in said windows and doors

*Now the plaster is dry on the repair I will paint it white

Thursday:

*Clearing out the lounge cupboards and organising them

*Go through both wardrobes to see what we need to throw, keep, and put into neat organised piles etc including an area for our bedding and such

Friday:

*Sort through bedding to make sure all are clean. Including pillows etc and put spare things away

*Sort through coats shoes etc and any we keep clean then store

Saturday:

*Polish wooden floors

*Put a system in place for recycling as I would like to start this

And the last bit I noted “And the regular stuff such as keeping on top of cleaning (it will all be done by then so minimal things) cooking, making extras so I can have days off from cooking, shopping, etc.” I will do from now anyway as I have been doing.

Of course, during this week of getting things finished and doing painting and repairs etc, if there is a day where I’m just not up to it, I will go easy on myself and just do it the next day. It would be so nice for it all to be done by the end of next week, small jobs here and there while he works but even if it takes two weeks I’ll be very happy. So it’s not a “must do in one week” list. More a “would like to have” guide.

I’ll continue posting cleaning before and after pics.

When I am all finished with everything I think it will be nice to have the before pics of the state I let it get into- the very beginning pics, along with the final all cleaned all decorated pics- the very end all done beautiful home pics, as a kind of conclusion to all of this.

I think it would help others too, to see the utter mess, then the clean and also decorated lovely after pics. To see that it can be done even through quite severe mental health and depression issues.

And then after that, maybe keep the thread for other things. “Adulting” stuff such as budget advice and other things. You know?

I’m very happy and excited. And I’m also so very thankful for the non judgement, the amazing advice, and also the posters who helped me to change my way of thinking regarding not being so hard on myself. That’s been most helpful it really has. I have very much enjoyed keeping on top of the cleaning so far too!

You’re all amazing!!

Sorry for double post!

So glad it’s inspired others! Not so glad that you have much bigger areas to do and teenagers making a mess! I wouldn’t be able to cope with that! I can sympathise with shedding dogs though.. mine are short haired but jeez if they don’t shed all over the show to places you wouldn’t imagine dog hairs can get!

We’re getting started now on the lounge.. he wants a room as nice as “my” kitchen (caught him asleep on the chair in there the other day because “it’s nice and clean here” so I’m getting him to do the lounge while I dictate. As great as he is at so many other things, he really is terrible at cleaning. He just doesn’t “get” it, or see the mess! So I’m both teaching him for the future, as well as getting him to do his own room because the pride of having done your own room is just wonderful! (We have a weird set up- the kitchen and cleaning cupboard are “mine” and he now has his little spot in the hall, and we tend to sleep separate mostly not always (works for us because he snores, and he’s big- tall and wide, not fat- and the dogs sneak in and into the bed so I have two snoring dogs and one snoring human and NO space at all!!!!) so the lounge is more “his” and the bedroom “mine” it works for us! We have all the intimacy we need but for sleeping it’s separate! Anyways so he’s doing his own “room” today. So he has a nice room for himself. And I can teach him the difference between moving items around, and actually cleaning as I said he’s great in all other areas so I can’t knock him at all!

Then 20 mins max for the declutter (I’m gonna be brutal) and clean of the shower room (it really is small) and the 15 mins max of the toilet room.

(As I said half day tomorrow for the bedroom then it’s all cleaned, decluttered, and ready for finishing painting etc next week while he works..)

Woo!! We’re nearly done!! I’m so excited!!

Andddddd.. if I can stay on track next week for the other things I added above- that means in one week it’ll all be beautiful and I’ll have my lovely french apartment back!

I couldn’t have done it without the support on here I really couldn’t.

Words can’t explain how helpful this thread has been for me. As I said in the title with no parents and no one to answer to either, it’s really hard to get myself up and at em. Really hard. So with the advice here, and also the feeling that I don’t want to come back in one week having done zero, it’s massively helped. All of it! And once I have got everything back to normal, I can do the reading from the many helpful signposts from posters on keeping on top of things etc. I can’t wait to finish and post true before and true after pics when it’s all decorated!

I can’t thank you all enough! Really ❤️

Great that you've got a plan, broken down into steps and by days. I am very impressed - and also inspired!

@TheSilveryPussycat

Thank you, that’s so so kind! Really I couldn’t have done it without the support of you all- each and every single post has been wonderful. With support and advice and links to other advice forums and such. I’m really impressed by mumsnet and so happy. Especially the lack of judgement!

We made a lot of progress today. Pics tomorrow!

Then at the end of next week (if my plan goes well!) then I’ll have the before and the final product afters to post! As a lovely wrap up! In the sense that the house is truly finished head to toe 100%! I think I’ll still be posting for advice on other stuff, next will be budgets and shopping etc. How to keep the cooking rota etc!

I’m so inspired myself by the sheer kindness of people who posted- so I’m really glad others have found it positive and useful. And I really look forward to posting the true pics when it’s all done- the gross before where it needed declutter, clean, organise, repairs, painting, and decor, etc. Then the after where all that has been done and people can see the journey and the difficulty and then the end result. And hopefully be able to get out of the rut I found myself in.

It can be done!! It’s not easy. It’s far from easy. But it can be done. And the feeling of the smallest first success, and the subsequent bigger ones- I mean wow! The feeling is just beyond anything I could have imagined!! I’m not even slightly the household woman type. Well I didn’t think I was. But I have found myself really enjoying the role! I love cooking and I love that he has an area for just him, away from the lounge where he works. To help his stress levels and I can cook for him and make him coffee and whatnot. Because he works so so hard to give us a wonderful lifestyle, and he does so so much for me. I love that I can help ease his burdens and I haven’t seen him as happy as he has been this last week or so! And that’s wonderful! I also know if I don’t want to cook he will, or we can have takeaway so I’m hardly chained to the kitchen!

I’m just so happy! 🥰

Oh god were nearly done.. thank god for my lovely amazing fiancé who has helped me so much the last two days! He’s truly amazing. I just need to get the last leg done- Tonight is the very last night before the small list of stuff which will be 1/2 hours per day maximum and only if I can manage it (I’ll push to do that stuff but after this weekend may need Monday off apart from cooking and top up cleaning)

Wish me luck and energy please for this last very small leg! Thank goodness for my wonderful fiancé 🙏

Just the last leg.. a couple more hours.. then my house will be decluttered, tidy, clean to the max, organised.. just a couple more hours.. 😱

I’m so pleased for you OP, sounds like you’ve worked really hard and when it’s all done do give yourself time to savour the results! You inspired me to get off my bum and organise some quotes for things needing doing in the garden I don’t have the tools for so fingers crossed I can share pictures of a lovely garden later this year!

@Slothkin

So happy to inspire!!

As for me- all the rooms (except toilet and shower room) in other words the main rooms; kitchen, bedroom, lounge, hall, are all lovely now! I just need to get the toilet room and shower room sorted! They won’t take long at all but.. I have found myself A) wanting a “big clean” break for a while and B) enjoying massively the results of the main rooms overhaul and been busy cooking, cleaning, keeping on top of it, and generally playing house! With a very happy and now very healthy working fiancé as a result. So while I get into this new routine, and learn to keep it up, I want to wait for those. And have a little break too! I have pics of the bedroom before and after if anyone is bothered! Haha. Also the lounge too. When it’s all done and decorated I can’t wait to post pics of lovely apartment! For now I’m happy that it’s massively clean and tidy and so much shite chucked out no problem at all

So happy to have inspired too! What a great result all round

I never came back to this thread 😳 just have not been in the place to sort anything - but I just wanted say you are awesome! Huge well done for all the progress. 💐

@SingToTheSky

That’s ok! Don’t worry you don’t owe me anything (in the nicest way, because that comes across as sounding arsey when it is the furthest thing I mean!!) - I hope you are ok? I appreciate the support it’s been lovely to have you on here. Feel free to hijack if you want some advice

It’s hard, but my goodness is it worth it in the end! I haven’t finished everything. But I have the main rooms clean and tidy and organised to a T now- and that’s working through rather severe depression, extremely severe anxiety, etc. It was hard and took everything I had and I’m still not done. But - like I said the main rooms are done enough for me to cook and clean as normal, and to make a nice healthy new routine. And I haven’t deviated from it not one bit. I worked too hard to get to where I am now (minus the two small toilet / shower rooms and the decorating I need to finish and couple of repairs!) to let it drop- meaning my cleaning standards. It also has freed up so much in terms of mental energy and also practically speaking, to enable me to be able to now cook from scratch, save leftovers to make into new meals, and so on. The rewards have been immense to say the least and the microwave doesn’t get touched now! So.. though I have a fair bit to do (aesthetically speaking ie finish the painting) I’m taking a rest and enjoying what I have created here. It’s wonderful.

Though like I said it took everything I had left in me to get the motivation and push past the lack of said motivation. It was far from easy and I’m still not finished. So don’t be hard on yourself if you’re struggling too. It’s so so hard!

Bedroom before

Bedroom before part 2

Bedroom after