Mad March Fledglings Fly in to action 2020

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A warm welcome to the monthly thread where we (loosely) follow the Flylady housekeeping system here to combat CHAOS (Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome) with lots of virtual wine, chat and mutual support along the way. The thread leader of the month will post a link to Flying activities daily. Quite a few of us have been on here for a while, so we may seem cliquey, but we really aren't, and all newcomers, lurkers, returnees, regulars, and intermittent regulars are very welcome!

Very simply, Flylady is a zone-based cleaning system which we follow to varying degrees, depending on our individual homes, circumstances and energy levels. There are five zones and at the beginning and the end of the month we usually straddle Zone 1 and Zone 5. When you first start decluttering, cleaning, and organizing your zones, Flylady encourages you to spend 15 minutes per day decluttering in the current zone.

Each week, we work in a different zone. Each month, we repeat all the zones. After a few months of following this system consistently, you should start to see an improvement in the main areas of your house.

Pop on to the Flylady website to have a closer look about how to get started here but signing up for emails will probably lead to very many landing in your inbox. Also there has been some concern about securely downloading pdfs from the site so proceed with caution.

The Babysteps system is a light 31-day introduction to the system which familiarises you with Flylady routines (such as dressing to shoes, shining your sink etc) and with her philosophy, which emphasises self-care, her abhorrence of perfectionism and the adage that you’re never behind - just jump in where you are at - even if you only do 5 mins work, that is so much better than doing nothing at all!

There is a morning routine and an evening routine to keep things ticking over and a weekly home cleaning hour (which most of us find tight!) to change bed sheets, mop, hoover, take out rubbish etc. We've found over the years that the system isn’t brilliant for major decluttering so you might want to supplement with Kondo or another decluttering system. Flylady doesn’t want us cleaning all day so she is very keen on using a timer. Clean and declutter with focus, then stop and do something more interesting instead!

In addition each day has a purpose, see the daily focus here:
Monday: weekly home cleaning hour (can be split into ten minute sections and spread over week)
Tuesday: plan and play (menu planning, family event planning, doc appts etc)
Wednesday: anti-procrastination day
Thursday: errand day
Friday: clear out purses, bags, cars, date night
Saturday: family fun
Sunday: lift your spirits.

Don't hesitate to ask if you have any qs. And remember, there is NO wrong or right way of doing this, it is about adapting the system to suit your life circumstances, which will be different from someone else's, so feel free to ignore any step or routine that doesn't suit you or your home! And don't be put off by the barftastically twee language of the Flylady site, as the underlying system is sound.

And if/when it all gets too much: come and take a seat by the fire in our candelit, specially adapted, virtual "naughty" corner where you can retreat and enjoy all manner of lovely things such as fluffy pillows warm blankets, fine teas, strong coffee, and platters of sumptuous foodstuffs offered with lashings of support from fellow fledglings.

There may be mention of Ned (and his cousins Ted and Fred) who started their lives as autocorrections, but who have morphed in to virtual helpers, and are borrowed by thread members from time-to-time when the going gets tough on Mount Washmore.

Most days we pop on to post our "to do" and "ta da" lists of what we’ve managed to do and have a bit of a natter. Please don't compare your list with someone else's as this is all about individual progress.

More info follows (but again, please note we advise only looking at the pdfs and not downloading them):

** launch pad (general guidance and info) here

** daily babysteps pdf (ignore the ones that don't suit you or your home) here

** week day missions (some fledglings find it easier to do them at weekends) here

** info about zones (explanation of how zones work) [[http://www.flylady.net/d/br/2017/09/02/please-explain-the-zones/

here]]

** weekly zones (a rough weekly guide to which area of the house we are tackling currently, again adapt to suit yourself) [[http://www.flylady.net/d/getting-started/flying-lessons/zones/

here]] and here

** daily focus (helpful guide to allocate a certain day for a certain task) here

** deep cleaning lists pdf (only attempt when you have decluttered as you can't clean clutter!) here

Habit of the month: here

An explanation about the March habit of the month: Getting Dressed to Shoes here

Good luck and happy Flying one and all!

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Many thanks to Tinselette from whom I have stolen and adapted quite a bit of this introduction!

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And last, but definitely not least, a huge thank you to Expletive for running a really fast-moving February thread so splendidly

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Hazel sorry to read about your dd, how old is she? Try not to focus on the duration of time when you didnt know and focus instead on how you can help now. The vitamins sound great, how long until you get those?

Afternoon fledglings. I’m on the sofa under a sleeping DD so just catching up with the thread before I extract myself to do something productive.

Fab feedback on the job That. Hope it gives you confidence for next time.

Cineraria I also love the spread sheets! I had a similar checklist when on mat leave with a Velcro baby and it really helped. If I managed to shower, eat and set the DW off I was winning at life! Might have to start it up again. Thanks for the reusable pants idea, I didn’t think about that at all. She might go along with that as I def don’t think she’s quite ready to go without.

Thankfully DH managed to get them on her last night so no more wet bedding.

Hope dinner goes well SC (and I’m jealous of your ironing lady!)

Zoo hope you’re well.

Lane I’m sure DD’s teachers will be happy to meet you and they are probably worried you’re judging them as much as you’re worried they are judging you.

Zoo and Bower hope you’re ok.

Fingers crossed for minimal chicken pox woes We3.

Waves to everyone else.

Ta Da:
✅ our bed stripped, bedding washed, in the dryer
✅ LOL washed and on line ( first time for ages, it’s a gorgeous day here)
✅ work tunics on boil wash
✅ humans and cats fed. Dishes done.
✅ dining table wiped
✅ benches, hob and cupboard fronts wiped
✅ huuuge pile of clean washing put away
✅ DD bathed and hair washed
✅ sink, loo, shower screen and bathroom window cleaned while DD in bath
✅ hallway tidied
✅ visited DGM and walked legs off DD.
✅ lunch eaten
✅ survived 2 x toddler tantrums - hence her nap

To do:

• tunics in dryer, washing off line
• bedding back on
• upstairs dusted and hoovered
• bathroom floor mopped
• bath cleaned
• sort out junk mail in hall
• ironing - at least work tunics
• future friend - work food, bags etc
• cook dinner and make soup
• order a proper bed, mattress and bedding for DD to replace her toddler bed. Even if she won’t stay in it at least there’ll be somewhere else for me DH to sleep rather than us both being squished and kicked all night

Attempting escape from under DD...

Oh cross post Hazel. How awful for your DD (and you ) but at least it has been picked up on and she can start getting help / treatment.

Oh gosh hazel I’m so sorry, what a shock that must be :( glad you know now and that she’s being treated. Happy to chat any time but of course understand not wanting to as well x

Today was sooo fun at Solihull - spent most of it playing games before discussing the importance of play. Homework is to make time to play with each child. :o One of the two leaders is a game nerd too so we’ve swapped a couple for the week! Just gutted that I finally meet another keen gamer (my best mates aren’t into them really) and we can’t actually arrange to meet and play etc because she’s council staff running the course, so boundaries etc (would be different if she was one of the other mums) dammit!!!

Cagletini stayed home today, there were more spots this morning although I don’t think they are pox, they’ve all but disappeared, and she’s absolutely well in herself but they understandably didn’t want her in. Going to give her piriton and see what happens in case it’s a random reaction to something.

Then went to town with a friend, my prescription needed to be rewritten AGAIN 🤬🤬🤬

Hoping to have a relaxed afternoon as period pain is annoying me again. Just want to be ready for playgroup in the morning (only if the spots disappear though of course, but at least if I’m ready then all I need to do in the morning is check and decide).

Also thank you for all the parents evening reassurance ❤️

And re: DS chores - sadly the whole “finding things that don’t belong in this room” is rather the issue. Soooo many things in this house just don’t have a home. It really is chaos! So when we do ask them to tidy we have to be very specific. I do think something along those lines will be good I just need to think how it will work when we can’t expect him to tidy stuff that even we can’t tidy up because we are that disorganised!

Hi everyone, hazel what a lot for you all to deal with we're all here whatever you want to talk about

I've had a bloody nightmare of a school run this afternoon. Ds has been really difficult this week, and has been pushing my buttons non stop..then he tipped me over the edge by having a strop and pushing his scooter away from him (which I've told him so many times not to do!) and it went towards the road which was busy at the time and if it wasn't for a man kindly leaping towards it it would have gone into a car , the man didn't say anything to me just handed it back and walked away and everybody else was staring at me. I felt so awful! So then obviously I shouted at ds a lot. All the way home in fact because he was refusing to say sorry, refusing to walk or scoot etc. Got home and locked his scooter in the garage as he's not having that back tomorrow. Then he asked for chocolate!?? Eventually he said sorry but my nerves are in pieces!

hazel sorry that sounded odd, I meant we are all here whatever and whenever you want to talk about anything!

Oh that sounds like a nightmare foxes I hate moments like that where you feel judged.

Great news on the kung fu willow :)

Cagletini fell asleep on the sofa, possibly late enough to sleep through pretty much, so I’m going to try and rest upstairs having just watched some more stranger things with DD. Absolutely shattered, periods seem to make everything else flare up 🤬

If I can’t sleep later I have course stuff to write up.

Glad you enjoyed the course today Lane and fingers crossed Cagletini is chicken pox free in the morning.

Foxes what a nightmare, I can feel your pain. They always pick their moments don’t they . I’ve had a nice day with DD today, stayed calm during the earlier tantrums and then it all went to pot after DH came in and, despite being serene earth mother all day, he will now think I’ve been impatient shouty stressy mother.

Ta Das:
✅ washing brought in and more clean stuff put away
✅ bath cleaned
✅ upstairs dusted and hoovered
✅ bedroom mirror and window cleaned
✅ our bed remade
✅ DD bed etc all ordered
✅ small pile of ironing done (stopped due to DD meltdown time but at least I got work stuff done)
✅ dinner cooked (DH cleaned up)
✅ future friend for tomorrow (food / bags)
✅ future friend suddenly realised it is world book day tomorrow . Thankfully DD was happy to go with Ellie’s magic wellies - customised an old pair and dug out a raincoat.

Didn’t do anything in zone 1 or clean the bathroom floor so will tackle that on Saturday morning. Should have made soup for work but I’ll settle for leftovers as I couldn’t drum up the enthusiasm.

DH is tackling bedtime and I am enjoying the peace!

Foxes I'd have shouted too. You get such a fright when such things happen.

I've finished cleaning zone 1 - the walls and woodwork are gleaming 😁

Dh is packing for a work trip, flying with Flybe tomorrow - we both stopped scurrying around to watch the news. Flybe might be gone by tomorrow it seems....

I have done some handwashing and it's on the line. I'm quitting for tonight 😜

Hello all.

I have been AWOL with a full-on couple of days at work (one of them was an official day off ). Today a big piece of work is finished and I am so relieved. There is still a bit of work to do around it but for now I don’t care, just so pleased it is done .

Just got home and DH seems to be near the end of bedtime (hope I don’t jinx that now) so am going to get on with laundry etc. Have also put wine to chill in freezer .

Sorry to hear about chicken pox and other unwell people.

foxes , that sounds like a hugely stressful school run. I think that really is an example of one of the high stress times of parenting that is so hard to deal with, you need to think quickly and it is massively unsettling. Yet strangely invisible work.

Great King Fu news Willow.

Right, had better get on. DH had been expecting me back over an hour ago to help with bedtime but the work thing overran.

Xpost Lisette, just looked up the news on Flybe .

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Baby-step no. 5 for Thurs 5th March: here
Ban those negative voices about not being able to do things!

Launch pad link for zones, missions, reminders, daily focus, detailed cleaning lists, flight plan etc etc is here

Have a good errand day everyone!

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Morning all ☕

Hazel I'm really sorry to hear about your daughter and her mh struggles. That has got to be very tough for all of you I hope the support you have sourced for her proves helpful and please don't worry at all; of course this thread is the right place for things like that (it is about a lot more than housework) and we are all behind you 100% . Do feel free to off-load here any time. And I know you have a hectic schedule but please, please take it steady and take some time out for yourself if at all possible as you must be feeling very anxious about things

Well done on finishing big chunk of work Toostressy

Lisette Looks like Flybe has gone bust overnight. I hope your dh is not too stressed by the situation.

Great ta da list yesterday KTCluck

Lane how about giving your ds an alternative daily focus chart five days a week? Presumably his tasks need to be very do-able and specific, so how about Monday = gather up all dirty laundry and put in to colour specific piles, Tuesday= gather up all shoes and put away (or in room of owner) , Wednesday = empty dw , Thursday = clear kitchen table and wipe, Fri = put all stray toys in storage container... or something like that? Or alternatively the same routine every day if that would suit him better, something like "make beds and open windows 8.30 am, empty dw at 9.00 am, set table for dinner 6.30pm"?

Foxes sorry you had a tough parenting day yesterday It's understandable you felt stressed in that situation but please don't assume everyone who was staring was judging negatively, I bet half of them were thinking "mm, shall I have shepherds pie or chops for dinner?" and the other half, "gosh, I'm glad that little boy didn't run in to the road after his scooter and is ok" . The bloke who returned it may not speak English! Please don't assume they were judging negatively! Anyone who has looked after dc has been there.

Mahoosive waves to all other fledglings!

Dinner was actually very enjoyable last night and client's other half turned out to be very down-to-earth and warm, which was nice.

Massively busy in office atm so must go. Yesterday printed and put up posters about hand-washing etc, ordered closed bins, a load of tissues, a load of alcohol-based hand wash (sold out but on order) and a load of paper hand towels. Dh is meant to be going on a business trip to the US week after next with packed schedule, where he is booked to speak at several conferences. It's all up in the air currently!

Have a good day everyone!

x post

Morning That

Thanks everyone for the kind words re ds! Sc you're right about the judging, I think I was just very flustered and self conscious!

Now I have to go and remind ds no scooter today...

Morning That, thanks for the ☕. Much needed! Thanks also for the Flylady links SC - hope work is not too busy, glad you made up with your DD. Lisette, I assume your DH is now at home as Flybe appear to have gone under overnight. Like SC 's DH, travel plans for Mr Willow at the end of March are now up in the air, over Coronavirus and any working airline. His new company have cancelled their annual conference in the US next week.

Foxes, we all have those parenting moments, and although you felt conspicuous I'm certain you weren't. Most people will have been thinking "thank goodness he caught the scooter" rather than anything else. Sending 🍰 and ☕ to assist with equilibrium.

Hazel, I'm so sorry to hear about your DD (although her hair sounds amazing). I know well the Mum-guilt that comes with believing they're tootling along nicely through life, then discovering they're actually falling down and have been for a while. Always happy to hear you, here, if you need to talk about it, but completely understand the feeling that it should be kept private 💐.

🙋 to Stressy, KT, Expletive, zoo, Bower, Lane, We3, Cineraria. Hope DS4 is not too itchy, We3.

Ta Das yesterday
☑️ Dressed to shoes, hair and face
☑️ DW
☑️ LOL
☑️ Hall woodwork and walls cleaned!
☑️ Picked meds up from Tesco pharmacy and had sneaky Costa while I was there (self-care. Definitely.).
☑️ DS2 dispatched to counselling with DH.
☑️ Started a French vocab book with DS3 - he is doing amazingly well (speaks far more basic French than I could at 9!) but is very afraid of forgetting it all.
☑️ Planned homeschool trip to local National Trust WW2 exhibition for Friday. He is insisting on a Packed Lunch 😂.
☑️ Took DD to counselling / meds review. Dosage reduced again because she is doing so well. 🎉🥳
☑️ Fed the horde.
☑️ WhatsApp'd with DS1, who is now not coming back at all at Easter 😢. I miss my boy.
☑️ Long talk with DH in advance of therapy this morning, when I am going to have to face stuff I've deliberately put aside for more than a quarter of a century.🤮

Can't see beyond that, right now.

Hey ho. Onwards and upwards.

Hi,
Haven’t caught up. A sad week for lots of reasons. Late dad’s birthday today. Gran died this week years ago just after dad’s birthday her son that she hadn’t seen for ten years as we were living 12,000 miles away. Lost our friend last year to leukaemia and just found out the other day that his dad that we spent time with at and after the funeral has had a heart attack and died. Leaving mum with the farm to run and she would be a bit older than me I think. Poor woman we clicked even though she could speak no English and I can’t speak her language. We sat after the funeral and just held hands. Her son was friends with all my boys. Lived with one years ago in shared house and later worked with all three and was everybody’s friend. Huge funeral of young people who paid for the family to come over towards the end, funeral and flowers. Company paid for the food and all the drinks. I just feel so sad for her. She has one son left in the family who is in the army. I was going to try to visit this year. They invited us.
Apart from all that I just feel crap. Slow tears in church as I went to rotary and Stations of the Cross as it is Lent. Thought I would try to do more. As well as giving up chocolate and gin🙀
I have to make a big decision about work and I don’t know what to do. It is such an enormous decision but I know I have to make the right one for me.

I have managed a bit of flying.

Kitchen, tidy. Cleaned out a couple of cupboards.
Vacuumed sitting room each day. Love those Dyson stick vacuums. So quick. Dusted twice.
Boudoir not perfect but managed to get a few things down
LOL but have two waiting loads. Drying on Lakeland drier. Very cold and keep getting sleet, hail, snow and rain. Sunny but very cold today and yesterday.
Wednesday -Anti procrastination day- had a painter come around to price up painting new door, old shed door and varnish front door. I was going to do it but DH wants it done quick by professional. We have always done things like that ourselves. If good I am hoping he wallpapers as stairs desperately need done like twelve years ago but DH wouldn’t spend money on paper. He thinks it is still £3 a roll ha ha. I would dearly love William Morris Willow in blue. I never spend much as always buy in sales like Laura Ashley but it is on for a long, long time so going to have lovely paper this time. Will see me out!

Bathroom just swish and swipe each day and shower tray wiped. Everything is out. I get why some people are Minimalist as it makes quick easy cleaning but I miss my photos of Bondi, my little wooden boats from Yorkshire coast and other bits of weird things and seaside ornaments on my shelves. Builder had big problem with his own chimney and hasn’t been this week. Weather very bad last weekend very windy / gale and on flood alert and flood warnings in thirteen places nearby. For once our road out didn’t flood and is now been clear for nearly a week. Apparently it was over five foot. The flooded river at bottom of hill has abated and no longer looks like a raging lake.

Best wishes to all.
Hope your appointment was ok Zoo. Hope you are ok.
Mine better than I expected but I did cry nearly as soon as I went in. She was very helpful though and admitted was a bit taken aback by everything I had been through in the last year so I do feel supported by her and we talked about making the big decision. She gave me some good advice about protecting my emotional self and not letting anyone at work destroy me any more. She’s good!
Sorry for long post but helps telling you why not been here.

Will try to catch up reading posts. Need to go get DH as he went back to work for two weeks then couldn’t get home last night because of trains. Line closed. Bus didn’t turn up. So stayed in Edinburgh.

Lovely to hear from you, Bower, sorry it's been such a sad and difficult time 💐. I am putting old-fashioned sticky gingerbread in the naughty corner, should you (or anyone else) need it with some . Hope you can get DH home and the decorating done. Take it gently.

Oh yummy. I will have another tea please DH to go with it.

Yes he arrived at 11:30am.

I have just priced the wallpaper. I don’t think I will be getting it. It was £35 when I priced it a few years ago. It is £75 a roll😳

Yikes bower 😳 and hugs x

Today was mostly sponsored by Hormonal Mess Ltd with a side order of Unhelpful Comments

Flying status: negative

bower sorry to hear it's been such a hard week

Having a quick cup of tea and a biscuit before I head back out into the rain for the fourth time today , this time for a very boring meeting ☔

I have MEGA period pains and have had a tooth extraction

Good to see you bower