Does anyone else love being a housewife?

[Bookaholic73]

Im just wondering if anyone else loves being a housewife and has decided with their spouse that you’ll stay at home instead of work?
Not because you have to financially, or for any other reason than you really enjoy it.

I love it. I love the traditional way of life, I love having dinner ready for my fiancé when he gets home, I love cleaning our home and making it look nice.

I read the first page and stopped wondering why women are so under valued in our society. I’m pretty sure the question was ‘Do any of you enjoy being a SAHM?’ NOT ‘Do any of you think SAHM’s are grabby, mush-brained, lesser women?’.

I think these discussions never get anywhere because people get defensive, although they don't really need to get anywhere as it's personal choice and others decisions don't tend to have a bearing on your life. Personally, working part time is the best of both worlds, and the house is still tidy, partner supported in his career as he supports mine, and DS in a safe environment for part of the week, which he enjoys. I can't fathom how someone can stretch out being a housewife to full time, the same as how many probably can't fathom why I enjoy the arrangement we have. It makes no odds to me.

It wasn’t aimed at you Frida. As far as I can see, you didn’t post on the first page? But that was a nice grown up come back at me.

Did you really just say that @FridalovesDiego?

Claws are well out on this one aren't they

No I couldn't do it, my husband tells me not to work as I only do 10 hours spilt over two days so I can drop off and pick up our 5 year old from school , so 5 hours a day twice a week

Wages are minimal and by time we pay for fuel and our other child nursery I'm not really working for anything

A lot of people wonder why I do it , this is my main reasons

• to keep me employable in my industry , I feel if I disappear off the radar for a number of years my CV will be overlooked when I do look to return full time once both kids are older

• I think it sets a good example of work ethics to my children, a 9 year old girl I know with a SAHM said to my son once when he was speaking about his dad being away working - mummies don't work silly that's why your daddy is away. This statement does not sit well with me if that's what she thinks due to her mother not working , that "mummies" don't work

• my sanity

• to feel like I'm contributing to the household and not just riding along on my husbands back , I like to feel I contribute financially even though it's not a large sum of money, it's something and if things ever sour in our marriage he can never say to me I haven't contributed

I love being a housewife 3 days a week and a Department Msnager the other 4 dsys. I am very lucky!

I don’t know why anything surprises me on MN but some of these replies are definitely surprising!

“ The problem is when you're on your death bed and you look back on your life and find your main achievement was keeping curtains from getting dusty”

I admit, I wanted to do a lot more career wise than I’ve been able to. But at the moment, my main thing that I’ll look back on is not the work crap but the fact I was able to comfort my father through the weeks of his death, which I never thought I’d be strong enough to do.

People talking about work - I’ve never talked about mine, boring.

Meaningful work - how many of us are really doing meaningful work?

Contributing to taxes and society- so the pyramid scheme of overpopulation, as many people doing pointless jobs to pump out more taxable money, that is the future you actually want for this country?

Also, are those of us wishing to retire early just horrible people because we don’t want to stay on the treadmill till we fall off? Am I horrible because I am frugal so I can retire early on my own savings? Am I immoral because the cost of SDLT puts me off moving?

I guess according to many posters, yes.

I enjoy being a housewife, on the whole. I appreciate having time to read, and time during the week to take the children to hobbies, cook and do homework with them. It's not a perfect situation, but generally a slow pace of life really suits me, and we get by fine financially because of dh's work. I certainly don't have nothing to talk about, I've widened my education enormously since having the time to read, listen to lectures etc while doing jobs.

the working crowd who imagine how mind numbingly dull my financially reliant existence is, are talking with false authority.

But see, every working mom at least has been a stay-at-home mom / housewife for X number of months/years because of maternity leave. So they have some authority on this because they’ve done it.

I found it pretty easy, too, first with an infant and then with a toddler and infant. The house was clean, everyone was fed and happy, laundry was done and put away, I napped when the kids napped, we went for walks in the fresh air and sunshine, we played.

And while I love my kids to pieces, I would have lost my mind at the monotony, not with them, of course, but with the house work. Because while house work is the price you pay for being an adult and everyone has to (or should be) doing it, I don’t understand how someone can regularly get satisfaction from it.

But that’s just me.

Having earned money since the age of 14 (I’m 50 now) and not working only when I was on maternity leave and when we had to move cross country, I can tell you that working is a hard habit to break.

More importantly, I don’t believe in fairy tales. One doesn’t always live happily ever after and sometimes Prince Charming turns into a frog. Sole breadwinners lose their jobs, become disabled, or die. I love my job, and I owe it to my children and myself to always remain able to support us financially.

I agree to a small extent @outonthetilez.

Being on maternity leave because you have to have some time out for giving birth and a few subsequent months after, is not, in my mind, being a housewife in the way that I am.

It does give some experience of being out of work, but your day is filled with newborn childcare. It may sound strange to say, but when our twins are born, I see it as lessening myself from the current sahm/housewife combined role, and becoming pretty much a sahm out of complete necessity.

It's only really when they reach an age where they can comfortably go off to nursery and staying at home is something I do out of choice and I have the time to dedicate that I do now, that I see my full role as housewife returning.

I was a very well paid CFO when I had DS. When I went on maternity leave (I think about 9mths in total before I returned) I was not a housewife. I was a working woman, at home with a newborn because I had to be, until I returned to work.

As mentioned previously, I think there's a big difference to feeling you have to be stuck at home with a baby, and making a conscious positive decision to become a housewife.

So, we have a cleaner, and a lady that does the ironing.

That's as idiotic as me saying, look at you in your stupid job typey typey file file.

Gosh, you've clearly honed your wit to a razor edge while making your house smell nice, @Courtney.

So, you're not even doing the kind of domestic gruntwork needed to keep a house reasonably clean you've delegated that, despite embraving being a 'housewife' and you also have some very odd assumptions about other women's careers. Maybe you spent your working life filing, and that was why you found it so easy to leave it and devote yourself to baking and manicures?

If you genuinely think that you've going to be looking back with fondness on that completely valueless stuff on your deathbed, might I respectfully suggest that you should have tried harder to train for a meaningful career?

I mean, you'd have to actually read the thread to see why that's the case. But you do you Hun

Oh and as a qualified accountant with an additional degree in business and finance, last financial post as CFO, I think I'm ok with the training

You'd have had to do that pesky ole reading to have seen that already though.

I have a 7 month old, a 7 year old step son who lives with us full time and will probably not be going back to work as can't afford healthcare.

I am the worst housewife ever - the place is an absolute tip and my baby's room is basically the clean laundry room.

Very jealous that you're organised enough to enjoy it.

Healthcare? I meant childcare.

Also I don't have a brain.

@rosieposies

But you have a 7mth old. When my twins are 7mths old, I imagine our place will look in a wild state too

Give yourself a break. And when the 7mth old is at a stage where it's less full time supervision, you'll find plenty of time to get into a routine, and, dare I say it...maybe even get into the swing of enjoying the housewife role.

I have felt like I'd like to SAH sometimes over the last few years of PT work in a demanding role. But I did find when there was some tough stuff going on at home work was a mental break for me and really helped my own mental health to have somewhere where I could sort things out. I have freinds now struggling to find their place now the children are fledging the nest and I get annoyed by clearing up mess made by others rather than fulfilled so I'd have been a crap lazy housewife. But if you have children it's a very valuable job to stay at home with alot of benefits to your children. Just protect yourself financially.

I love it. I'm very house proud and I love being able to actually bring up my DC myself. I like to have time to focus on me. I like cooking meals from scratch. I sort all house admin. Bills and money go through my account. DH likes to be the breadwinner and be able to provide for his family. It works for us and I don't feel trapped, lonely or forced into anything.

But I also have a very strong work ethic and I'm excited to go back once DC start school. I have worked 18 hour days in a minimum wage job that was physically demanding, stressful and hard. I have been the one to financially support both me and DH fully before DC got here.

I love it. I'd never have thought I'd become a housewife but we had twins and I had a crap job - so couldn't pay nursery fees which would be around £100 a day. I could hire a nanny but neh.

I thought it would be lonely and boring but I don't stop. We go to toddler groups every day. I've made a lot of new friends like that. The groups are usually in the morning. After that I go home , we have lunch and the twins nap. During this time I have lunch, cook, do the housework and have 5 minutes. After that I do things with the kids, watch telly, run errands, then it's time for tea, my husband is home and we put the kids to bed. After that we enjoy a meal
Together or I go to a class/gym/choir/relax.

No work politics. I am basically my own boss. I rely on my husband to bring in the cash but I could also go and get a job if I really wanted to. Humans should depend on each other not be scared someone is going to leave all the time.

@BlueWonder mothers that stay at home don't contribute to society?! Next time you visit that doctor/dentist etc. Who taught them manners? Who taught them to use the toilet etc? Mothers and fathers or you pay someone to do this job for you. It makes me angry that people
Think brining up kids is easy and not valuable to society.

OP really isn't talking about the contribution a parent staying at home make, she is talking about being at home when childcare is not required. I would have thought with 5 dc a little extra income might have been valuable tbh.

Oh and as a qualified accountant with an additional degree in business and finance, last financial post as CFO, I think I'm ok with the training

And the glamour of accountancy paled before the glorious responsibility of deciding what to put in the household biscuit barrel every day?