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Housekeeping

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Original poster

Does anyone else love being a housewife?

181 replies

Bookaholic73 · 14/11/2019 17:50

Im just wondering if anyone else loves being a housewife and has decided with their spouse that you’ll stay at home instead of work?
Not because you have to financially, or for any other reason than you really enjoy it.

I love it. I love the traditional way of life, I love having dinner ready for my fiancé when he gets home, I love cleaning our home and making it look nice.

OP posts:
Curtainly · 14/11/2019 20:56

’m not ‘living off his dollar’. I’m providing him a clean home, food to eat, children being cared for, etc

And the chance to build up his pension pot and progress in his career, which will always benefit him more than anyone else. Each to their own, but it's naieve to think you can just pop back into the workplace with ease; this isnt always the case.

Pinkblueberry · 14/11/2019 21:01

What do I do all day? I cook, clean, take care of the animals, sew, mend things, wash the cars, walk the dogs..lots of things.

I think if you enjoy it and everyone’s happy with that arrangement then great, I definitely wouldn’t judge. But was does sometimes get me is housewives or SAHPs whose children are at school proclaiming how very busy they are and how much they have to do... you basically have all day to do what most working people fit around their jobs. It’s not a hard or busy life by any means in my opinion. Which is fine - just please don’t pretend it is.

flossletsfloss · 14/11/2019 21:04

Do what makes you happy. Don't let anyone judge you. Freedom for women is not about working, it's about having the choice to choose what you do. Enjoy.

fatulousatforty · 14/11/2019 21:05

I personally enjoy the independence of earning my own money and fitting in housework and home admin around our busy lives.

Sunflower20 · 14/11/2019 21:06

No way, I'd be worried about being left behind by society. Also my career gives me genuine happiness and fulfilment that nobody else can provide.

TheBabyAteMyBrain · 14/11/2019 21:07

I'm a sahm, for now, until our youngest goes into education. But if I return to work it'll be during school hours and depending on the needs of ds1 as he has SN.

I love that we are financially able to have a parent at home with our children and to be able to give them all the time and attention without the stresses of juggling a childcare/home/work balance. But, it is thankless and monotonous. There has been a shift in the equilibrium of mine and dhs relationship, and unfortunately it has been difficult at times. But then again we have two young children with a small age gap and one with additional needs. It's not easy, we're both tired, overworked and stressed in our own ways. And I am aware of how vulnerable I am if things were to completely sour between dh and me.

So yes I love it, but not all the time, and I'm definitely not cut out to be a 1950's housewife who will greet her man with a lovingly cooked dinner, pair of slippers and indulging smile.

^removes splinters from arse cheeks^

notmytea · 14/11/2019 21:09

The problem is when you're on your death bed and you look back on your life and find your main achievement was keeping curtains from getting dusty

Legomadx2 · 14/11/2019 21:14

I am very well educated. When I have spent prolonged periods not working (between children) I was bored to tears and miserable.

whiteroseredrose · 14/11/2019 21:14

I loved it!

Unfortunately I had to go back after a few years when the DC went to school. If money was no object I'd be a housewife again.

Courtney555 · 14/11/2019 21:15

I like it too. It works for DH and I.

I'm heavily pregnant with twins so less "domestic goddess" at the mo, and more frantically trying to get Christmas all done now because they can make an appearance any day from now really.

However, my day has consisted of baking a spiced ginger cake, booking nail and eyelash appointments, loading more stuff I'll never wear again on eBay (I make my own money that way, it takes no time at all and can be very lucrative) making a shepherds pie for dinner, watching a silent witness I recorded whilst wrapping stocking presents, and getting some fresh baguettes because DH will probably work from home tomorrow and he'll enjoy a ploughmans for lunch.

It's been a very enjoyable day. I don't feel like I'm living off DH, I feel like he's enabling me to take it as slow as I like, particularly important during these last few weeks. He's happy that he's providing for his family, it's important to him. I have always had my own income until this pregnancy, because I've always drummed it into myself that I'm one of those strong, independent "don't need no man mmmm hmmmmmm" and this is because I have a job, types Grin

Whereas it actually turns out, I am still strong. I am opinionated. I am capable. And I can see with real clarity that who I am, was nothing to do with having a job before and not having one now. I love being a housewife. It hasn't made me a financially dependant little sap, it's made me less stressed, a more attentive wife, a more patient mother, and a happier woman in myself.

Each to their own. We love it.

NightsOfCabiria · 14/11/2019 21:18

I think it’s a lovely idea in theory but sadly, we dont live in that kind of world.

Will your fiancé still find you attractive and interesting when all you have to talk about is domestic matters? You need to remain dynamic and viable in my opinion. I’d hate to lose my professional industry standing too and I’d be sad to see my skills become outdated and experience irrelevant too.

I’d suggest starting a home business, even if its just as a seamstress a couple of days a month. Earn your own money and retain some independence. You never know whats around the corner unfortunately and being a housewife, especially as you get older, is a risky position to be in.

Tfoot75 · 14/11/2019 21:22

I don't think I could keep my mental health in check, and feel motivated or happy with life if I didn't work or use my brain.

Bluntness100 · 14/11/2019 21:23

I couldn't do it, but I've a couple of friends who are, no kids at home and I genuinely get the impression they are lonely much of the time and off their heads with boredom.

One of them also drinks too much, which I think is to alleviate the Boredom. The other over thinks crap far too much and gets all wound up about daft petty things, i suspect as she's nothing else to think about. They literally spend their days looking for random crap to do.

They should volunteer or something, but they don't, and I don't think it's doing either one any favours, as their friends work, their kids have grown up, and their husbands work. So they are at home reorganising sock drawers and other such shite and falling out with their neighbours.

whattodo2019 · 14/11/2019 21:26

I absolutely hated being a house wife and SAHM. I was delighted to get back to work full time, to a career, to intelligent and intellectual conversations, to earning my own money ..... to employing a cleaner so I don't have to clean the bloody house!!

No, I'm afraid I am certainly not on the same page as you

itson · 14/11/2019 21:26

Yes Op i love it! Having time to keep the house organized, cooking, mending clothes and having time for the children s projects and seeing them eating good homemade food rather then stuff bought in a rush because of no time. I am never bored!

CloudPop · 14/11/2019 21:30

Hey if you enjoy cooking, cleaning and tidying up then you've found your perfect situation.

gamerchick · 14/11/2019 21:30

I could if I wanted to. But I'll never, ever rely on a man for money. He would like me being at home taking care of all the shit. I'd be equally as happy if he did it. Mind numbing boredom and nothing interesting to talk about imo. Then what would happen if he died suddenly is what goes on in my mind

However, if you're happy then crack on. Makes no odds to anyone else Grin

itson · 14/11/2019 21:32

Cant see why no working equals no interesting conversation. Theres internet, the news, books...not working doesnt isolate you from the rest of the world!

wintertime6 · 14/11/2019 21:36

I always thought I'd love to be a SAHM, and then I got made redundant and we decided that I'd not rush to look for another job, I'd stay at home with our young children and just see how things worked out. I quickly realised it wasn't for me long term (I did very much enjoy that time, but I couldn't do it long term). I was looking for work after about 9 months and ended up getting a job after a year.

But I also wouldn't want to work full time (I guess I might do again at some point in the future, who knows). I really enjoy my 3 days at work, then I look forward to and enjoy my 2 days at home with the children, and then it's the weekend and then I'm feeling ready to get back to work for 3 days and so it continues. For me, I feel I get the best of both worlds, doing one or the other full time would not be enjoyable for me.

ChicCroissant · 14/11/2019 21:36

I've been a SAHM for years and like it, it suits us for various reasons. I am hoping to return to work part-time, I am married (if that makes a difference to MN!) and as I am an older mother have paid plenty of NI contributions and already paid in to a works pension for years before leaving work.

I do avoid daytime TV though, it's deadly!

Csleeptime · 14/11/2019 21:37

Love being sahm, would hate to be back at work even though id built an excellent career in a professional board qualified profession. Im not bored, have loads to do! Although i have a 1 and 2 year old so theyre hectic and messy.

I won't return to work but will start my own business at some point when they both are in school. Something that allows me to still cook, pick up kids, go to their clubs etc.

Each to their own, I don't feel vulnerable at all, finances are shared and I can get a job if I need. Doesn't matter what people think OP, my friends don't get it at all, I love it!

Lilmissmissy · 14/11/2019 21:38

Wow! Some opinions are so rude.
If she wants to be a SAHM let her enjoy it, i personally would love to be able to do so. That doesn't mean i want to ponce off my partners money- i currently earn more and have my own business.

I dont like why women get so aggy when it comes to SAHM some women wanna be the career driven mum some wanna enjoy there kids and are able to.

TheGirlFromStoryville · 14/11/2019 21:39

I'm a sahm - my youngest is 11, and our dd started at uni in September.
I never returned to work after mat leave - I had to have most of my pregnancy off work due to ill health.

I love being at home, love cooking, cleaning, walking the dog, visiting friends and family... It's like a permanent weekend.

DH took early retirement a few years ago and we amble along very nicely.

Fluffiest · 14/11/2019 21:45

DH and I both went down to part time after my maternity leave which means we take it in turns to be housewife/househusband during the week.

I love my housewife days, on my own timescale, sprucing up the home, more time with DD.

And I love on my working days coming home to whatever tea DH has made.

Worst day of the week is the day when we both work. The time pressure is on and cooking in the evening is way more stressed and rushed.

Whichever way round we do it, our family functions better when one of us is at home, so I think housewives and husbands are a good thing.

Nuttyaboutnutella · 14/11/2019 21:46

To those saying they'd never rely on a man for money.... sometimes circumstances warrant it. I kinda thought the same. Few years down the line, and we are just to start going down the path of diagnosis for ASD with our 2 year old. He also has S&L delay. We also have a young baby. It's in the best interests of our family for me to takea break and deal with it all. Do I want to rely on him for money? It's not my intentions but he's a brilliant partner and father, and it happy to support his family as necessary in the circumstances. I'll return to work eventually. Shit happens. Its not always black and white so don't judge people's choices and circumstances. A woman's worth is not always in relation to how much she earns.

OP, do what works for you as long As you're both happy.