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Housekeeping

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Original poster

Does anyone else love being a housewife?

181 replies

Bookaholic73 · 14/11/2019 17:50

Im just wondering if anyone else loves being a housewife and has decided with their spouse that you’ll stay at home instead of work?
Not because you have to financially, or for any other reason than you really enjoy it.

I love it. I love the traditional way of life, I love having dinner ready for my fiancé when he gets home, I love cleaning our home and making it look nice.

OP posts:
Courtney555 · 14/11/2019 22:54

I really resonate with some poster's opinions of sahms/housewives.

I had those opinions too. I would never become that sad little woman with nothing better to do than coffee mornings and hoovering. I had a career dontcha know.

It turns out, I kick myself for not doing it sooner. I haven't been to a single coffee morning. I take time really researching lovely meals to cook, and scour the internet for inspiration for bargainous Christmas presents. I go on flower arranging workshops. I have my little eBay hobby set up in the spare room. I go to a superb and so cheap Portuguese butcher and fishmonger and love cooking from scratch. I go to the markets for fruit and veg. I save us a fortune and really increase our standard of eating, simply because I have the time to get top quality ingredients from 5 different locations that are all a third of supermarket prices.

These are things that former me would have laughed at. Who would be the pathetic sort of woman who got any enjoyment from being a sad little stepford wife type?

Well, turns out, me. It's so rewarding in so many ways, and nothing at all to do with having nothing more involved to do than drink coffee and run the hoover round.

FacebookRager · 14/11/2019 22:56

Cant see why no working equals no interesting conversation. Theres internet, the news, books...not working doesnt isolate you from the rest of the world!

^^ This! I'm usually the one filling DH in about current events and everything else. I guess he could regale me with tales of the rubber belts his company manufactures and distributes around the world. It's also nice to hear that his Polish counterpart was over doing a site visit with him but that's pretty much all I need to hear about his day. Oh and Jeff in accounting was caught stealing stationary......

I can't believe how rude some of the posters are here. God, some sound so fucking bitter.

MyhorseMyfreedom · 14/11/2019 22:56

I'm a "horsewife" as per my username! and I absolutely love it.

I also enjoy keeping a nice home, baking and crafting, seeing friends.

I'm not reliant on DP for money - my "wage" is my CB and tax credits, it's a tidy sum that means I can afford to spend my time how I like Grin

Stooshie8 · 14/11/2019 22:57

After 40 years of it I fecking hate housework. (So do the minimum)

TheSandman · 14/11/2019 23:00

I love being a housewife. And I'm a man.

Sittinonthefloor · 14/11/2019 23:05

I enjoyed it when dcs were tiny, it was lovely! but by the time youngest was 4 I was bored, lonely and miserable.
Also you aren’t a housewife if you aren’t married! And without marriage you are crazy to be someone’s unpaid housekeeper )unless you are independently wealthy)!

RufusthebewiIderedreindeer · 14/11/2019 23:07

Have not read the full thread ...yet

I wouldn’t say i love it

But its ok Grin

whiteroseredrose · 14/11/2019 23:16

For all of those who think that they would be bored without work...what the hell are you all going to do when you retire? Or is the plan to work till you drop?

RufusthebewiIderedreindeer · 14/11/2019 23:23

Read it now 😳

Ostanovka · 14/11/2019 23:23

I was desperate to go back to work on mat leave, I wanted some brain work. And I was very glad I did when DH upped and left.

Keepthebloodynoisedown · 14/11/2019 23:27

I had to stop working when I got ill, I resent it sometimes (career was going well) but I do like the fact that I get to stay at home, keep the house nice (I do have a cleaner) and cook dinner every night (as long as I’m well enough).

I’d be fucked if me and dp broke up, but it is what it is.

AutumnColours9 · 14/11/2019 23:33

Yanbu. I was a sahm to 5 for 17 years. I did do some volunteering and a degree during that stage. I loved it and have no regrets but also found it hard. I worried about dependency and struggle to trust.

I retrained and now work part time and love it. I find mentally it is easier to be working and more socially acceptable which does effect self esteem. This sucks in a way. Part time is perfect balance I think!

Curtainly · 15/11/2019 00:12

For all of those who think that they would be bored without work...what the hell are you all going to do when you retire? Or is the plan to work till you drop?

Spend time with your partner and friends, who will most likely be retired as well, rather than cleaning up after them?

Rara87 · 15/11/2019 00:13

Wow so many judgmental posts on here!! "You shouldn't rely on a man"
"I find it sad you want to be a housewife"
"It's not traditional if your not married"
"Don't you have a hobby you could do"

I work in finance, have a well paid job in a global company but I certainly don't enjoy it! In fact I've disliked all jobs I've ever had and I would LOVE to be a housewife! When the time is right, I will jump at the chance 😊

I hate answering to someone, hate having to care/ be enthusiastic/stress and feel pressure about things that really don't matter in the grand scheme of things...spending 50 hours a week of my life doing this....feel sad for me instead 🤣.

Good on you @Bookaholic73- enjoy!! I think your lucky that you are in a position where it's a choice!

DreamingofSunshine · 15/11/2019 06:44

Same as @Keepthebloodynoisedown I had to give up work when I got ill. I try to enjoy the benefits of it, like being able to sort out a lot of the domestic stuff whilst DS is at nursery, and I'm around for the random events/pick ups. Only a very small thing but getting a repair person in used to be such a palaver - DH or I would need a day off work for it as no WFH allowed. Now it's much more straightforward.

FridalovesDiego · 15/11/2019 06:52

How educated are you? I cannot imagine any of my friends being happy with so little. “I love cleaning our home and making it look nice”. I would be thoroughly ashamed if my daughter wanted this as her life and feel I had failed her.

kristallen · 15/11/2019 07:05

If he's happy for you to be a housewife then I hope he's paying into a pension for you. I hope the house and ALL assets are in your joint names. I'd only alter that if you were able to continue living as a housewife without him.

Just getting a job again isn't quite so easy when your CV has a few years blank and you're older than you were. Multiply this exponentially if that moment comes when you're in your fifties.

JustaScratch · 15/11/2019 07:06

It's great that you have found a system that works for you and I don't agree that staying at home all day is necessarily boring. An industrious person will always find things to occupy themselves.

My concern, as I posted on another thread yesterday, would be giving up my independence and placing my financial and future security in the hands of someone else. I appreciate not everyone has this choice, but I see so many women gaily giving up their independence when things are peachy and then posts on here every day from women's whose husbands or partners are cheating, or have become abusive and they feel trapped because they have no access to the finances, haven't worked in years and have no confidence from years of being at home.

Also, life throws you curves. My DH is currently recovering from a life altering injury hat has left him unable to work for over a year. Without my career and independence, we would have lost our home.

Courtney555 · 15/11/2019 07:29

How educated are you? I cannot imagine any of my friends being happy with so little.

ACCA qualified accountant with additional degree in business and finance.

I love cleaning our home and making it look nice

I don't blame you for such a blinkered view. It's the same blinkered view I had, until I did it, instead of assuming that's all a housewife's day entailed.

I would be thoroughly ashamed if my daughter wanted this as her life and feel I had failed her.

Again, can't blame you for your assumptions when you haven't been on both sides of the fence. I would actively encourage my daughter to be a housewife. It's not about having no aspirations, it's about seeing the enormous difference in both quality of life and the happiness of everyone in the family.

Bourbonbiccy · 15/11/2019 07:33

It's great that you have the option to live the life you want and love. You have made an informed choice and that's what counts.

If it works for you and your family it's great you can do exactly as you please. I certainly wouldn't get bored, I don't understand how you could, there are so many things to occupy your time with rather than work and being answerable to others.

Enjoy it !!!!

Allegorical · 15/11/2019 07:39

I wouldn’t get bored! I work part time and feel lonely at work ( I work alone mostly).
I have young kids and when I am off is when i get to see my friend with the kids for days out, coffees, gym, the school run etc. I don’t know how people (with young children anyway) have time to get bored. By the time you have done the school run, done chores, done one of the nice things mentioned above, then picked up the school age kids and taken them to one of their many activities , cooked dinner, the day is over. You could only get bored if you were very socially isolated.
However I do work part time just to keep my professional qualifications up to date and maintain my financial independence and pay into my pension. But yes I could easily be happy as a housewife definitely.

Allegorical · 15/11/2019 07:39

Friends with the kids I should say! Just don’t have one!

RickOShay · 15/11/2019 07:50

I think that nobody should disparage women’s choices.
Paid work or non paid work are both equally valid. The problem here is that unpaid work is undervalued.

Bellatrix14 · 15/11/2019 07:52

So are you a housewife, or a SAHM? You don’t mention children in your original post but then you do later, so I’m a bit confused as to whether these are actual existing children or hypothetical future children.

To me personally, there is a quite a big difference between being a stay at home parent to pre school or to an extent primary age children, and being a housewife.

orangeteal · 15/11/2019 07:58

Of course there's value in being a SAHM, but a house wife to an adult? (And let's face it, it's essentially for someone) I really struggle to get on board with that one, not my business I know but how can someone spend their life skivvying for someone else, how can that BE someone's ambition in life?

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