Does anyone else love being a housewife?

[Bookaholic73]

Im just wondering if anyone else loves being a housewife and has decided with their spouse that you’ll stay at home instead of work?
Not because you have to financially, or for any other reason than you really enjoy it.

I love it. I love the traditional way of life, I love having dinner ready for my fiancé when he gets home, I love cleaning our home and making it look nice.

@NightsOfCabiria you sound like a 1950s housewife manual yourself! Your husband will not be interested in your conversation around domestic matters, why not become a seamstress for a couple of days a month, jeez!

Why would a partner not be interested in his/her home, and how their partners day has been!

I work part time at home for our family business, but all people see is I’m at home therefore I don’t work. But even if I didn’t I’d still be a sahm because DH works ridiculously long hours 7 days a week and it just wouldn’t work for me to be employed as well. I’ve worked when we had just one child and it just didn’t work for us as a family. We are by no means rich but our set up now means we can get a bit of family time together here and there.

Cleaning and cooking all day? No chance.

bluewonder what nonsense. You still pay an amount to NI or you lose state pension. You pay for your prescriptions. Your point is inaccurate. OP isn't taking benefits, staying at home is funded by her partner.

Mneh. You're no different to someone deciding to rely upon welfare rather than working because they want the lifestyle you want. I assume you're as non-judgemental about that, because why shouldn't everyone be afforded the opportunity to live as you do?

That aside, I find it distasteful to liken your way of life with the generations of women who were forced out of the workplace and had no say whatsoever in being required to dedicate their lives to being full time housekeeper and nanny. Who had no choices, no agency and no possibility of change in their horizons.

You're romanticising something you clearly don't understand as a "traditional way of life". Still think you'd love if if you had no say in it, no choice, no hope of anything different, no time for your lovely hobbies because of the huge amount of work you had to do without the gadgets you take for granted. And you'd already have been shunned for living with a man you weren't married to.

You're not living a traditional life. You're choosing a modern easy life. Which is entirely your prerogative, sounds like you're satisfied, but don't use women whose opportunities in life were denied, and far too many of whom suffered greatly, to justify your decisions to others.

There’s a big difference in the responsibilities of a ‘housewife’ compared to a ‘SAHP’.

There is also a big difference between being a ‘housewife’ and looking after the house and/or kids while married and while not.

Yeah, it’s of real value that you kept the world safe from dust bunnies.

To those saying they'd never rely on a man for money.... sometimes circumstances warrant it. I kinda thought the same. Few years down the line, and we are just to start going down the path of diagnosis for ASD with our 2 year old

I have a child with ASD.

Ah, the ‘Tradwife Movement’ - there was an article in Stylist on this a few weeks back

www.stylist.co.uk/long-reads/traditional-1950s-housewife-tradwife-tradlife-explained-women-reject-feminism-careers-domestic-housework/315360

I find it a novelty and quite satisfying to be a ‘housewife’ for a short period of time (a couple of days, max!). I need greater mental and social stimulation (and financial independence!) to do it any longer.

Each to their own, there are certainly worse life choices.

I have for 19 years. I have my own money from property. Now D.C. off to uni I am bored, DH loves me being at home.

• Wow! Some opinions are so rude. If she wants to be a SAHM let her enjoy it*

Is she a SAHM or a housewife?

OP-

How old are you/DH?
When are you getting married-you are pretty vulnerable financially whilst unmarried.
How many years of pension have you paid into?
How old are the kids-are they yours or his?

Although I probably should expand Nuttyaboutnutella I don't have any littlies. Your circumstances are different to what the OP is going on about for one.

The toddler and baby years are a time consuming part of your life on their own.

I'm glad you're happy. I did it for 7 years and it was great in some respects. I loved being there for the kids, it took a lot of pressure off family life. In the end though I was bored and felt like a drudge. I spent so many hours a week cleaning and cooking. I also felt lonely. I'm now working part time and love it. I'm so sick of domestic chores we've got a cleaner.

It would drive me fucking insane with boredom but each to their own I suppose. I also wouldn't depend on someone else for my financial security, not a chance.

I thought it would drive me insane with boredom.

Until I did it.

I love it too, I enjoy cooking and cleaning and being there for the children. Youngest is at nursery now though so I have time to myself, to meets friends for lunch , go running and as a treat a spa day.

I’d love to be a sahm as I have fond memories of the precious time I had on mat leave with my two. I encouraged my dh to take redundancy and re train in what he was passionate about and he now does that on a casual basis whilst I work full time meaning he is the main carer. For us we wanted to ensure one of us was always there for the kids as we have very fond memories of this as children ourselves (acknowledge times were very different back then). Whilst I like my job and it pays a decent wage, I’m under no illusion that it is just that...a job. I’m replaceable and I certainly won’t be on my deathbed thinking fondly of my career. Life is short and if you have children it’s by no means a bad thing to ensure their happiness is paramount. I appreciate we don’t all want to stay at home or even have the option, but I hate to see other women berate those who take a hit financially and aspirationally for the good of their family.

LittleSweet I get that, feeling vulnerable as a carer for your children.
I suppose it is a different situation for us, as we don’t have the freedom to come and go and have other commitments.
It’s hard when it isn’t a choice, even if we are happy to do it.

I feel fulfilled with my career and that I am showing sons that women are of equal worth to men.., we all chip in sigh housework.

I'm also the higher earner.

I'll be honest op I find it sad that you feel fulfilled as a housewife, not in a judgey way! Is there nothing you want to do? A career ambition? Hobby?

@Bookaholic73 I'm currently in this situation not through choice but health reasons. Atm I'm too ill to care much, but I am wondering what I will do with my time. I know I will miss work but wonder if I will get use to and enjoy being a housewife. There seems to be such a stigma attached to a woman deciding not to work and stay at home, it's a shame really as looking after a home is an important role. I may end up buying a cath kidston apron and baking my own bread daily...dh would love that

I'm sorry you're ill @Loopylouloves but I have to disagree that 'looking after the home is such an important role'.

DH and I both work time (3DC) and our house is spotless and the children eat home cooked food every night.

We have a cleaner once a week and do the rest ourselves. I get the DC up, breakfasted and off to school myself every morning before work. DH, who starts work early and finishes early, then gives them tea before I get home from work.

We fit the laundry, online shopping etc around work.

I don't think looking after the house is so important it can only be done by a SAHM. We just fit it in. I have been a SAHM and know how such jobs will stretch to fill the empty hours. But I'm glad I do something lucrative, fulfilling and fun in the daytime instead.

I think it’s nice that you have a choice. I’d at least like to be part time but I’m full time. I have twins and my partner works away or long hours so my full time career has to fit around his. Then there’s the housework and everything else. It’s tough and I feel that no one gets enough of me. So enjoy it.

I'm with you @Bookaholic73
I enjoy being a housewife very much. And if the relationship breaks down I'd just have to go get a job too. DH and I have no savings really to speak of (though what we do have, I'm legally entitled to half) and our house is rented. I have no ducks to get in any kind of a row. I wouldn't even leave with any debt as DH is the main earner, any finance is his name.
The majority of the household items are things I personally have accrued in my lifetime (DH moved out of his mother's a good 10 years after I'd already been living on my own) so I would just take my own stuff.

I don't mind supporting his career by being his children's nanny, the cleaner, the chef and whatever else. We both love it that way. It's a simple life and as long as we have enough food in our bellies and the children get everything they need and some of what they want we don't need me working outside of the home too.
I do a load of volunteering and one small paid job (£15pw) but that's just to keep busy.

HA! OP you have BALLS! I LOVE IT! Fantastic. I’m with you OP. I am with you all the way.

It's not that traditional if you're not married though is it. Seem to be a bit confused.
I wouldn't rely on a man. I worked ft until dd 4 and now work pt.
if I had all the money in the world I wouldn't work but I'd rather know I'm in the game and can up my hours anytime than be potentially left high and dry and I'm married.
Think carefully about staying at hone long term. Longer you're at home the less likely you'll be walking into a job easily.

Oh but each to their own and I think it's nice you enjoy it. I just meant should at least have a plan just in case anything breaks down in the relationship.