Stepping forward in October: the new look fledgling Fly thread.

[Spreadingcudweed]

OK so maybe not new and improved exactly... but a more slimline, concentrated version!

Huge thanks to Hills for guiding us so slickly through September !

Many of us have been here forever; the thread where we (loosely) follow the Flylady housekeeping system here to combat CHAOS (can't have anyone over syndrome) with a load of chat and mutual support along the way. For that reason, we may seem cliquey, but we really aren't and all newcomers, lurkers, returnees and (intermittent) regulars are hugely welcome!

We are not posting links to the Flylady site on a daily basis anymore, just the daily baby step and flight plan, and the missions and zones on a weekly basis, but don't hesitate to ask questions about the system if you have any!

More information available here and from the launch pad here.

And borrowing heavily from Hills September introduction ... .

There are 4 levels for Flying:
-Baby steps - good for finding a routine in the tasks and getting over the perfection crippling effect
-Baby steps and missions - yep basic routine and more in depth tasks

• Baby steps, missions, and deep cleaning (if you are at that stage) - can't clean clutter so don't consider this one if you need the next level
• Flying combined with a decluttering system (kondo/unfuck etc etc) lets be honest fly lady is good for routine but not so quick with the decluttering results sometimes.

There is NO wrong or right way of doing this, it is about adapting the system to suit your life circumstances, which will be different from someone else's.

And when it all gets too much: come and take a seat by the fire in our specially adapted "naughty" corner where you can enjoy virtual and and tangible support from fellow fledglings.

Hi again folks and welcome back too. I was fuzz pig before but not sure if we were here at the same time.

Still feel a bit out of sorts really. DH is worrying a lot about me, and is also in tremendous pain himself (hip flexor issues), he actually said he isn’t sure about sports club tomorrow and he has literally never said that before. May have to cancel anyway due to rain though. I’ve said he seriously needs to consider getting signed off for a bit, he hasn’t had any time off in 16 years apart from when he finally accepted he needed time off with a prolapsed disc that needed surgery 🙄 he’s very stubborn like that. He’s seeing a rheumatologist on the same day I have the GP appt.

I’m staying downstairs again so he can stretch out on the decent mattress rather than being kicked out to the sofa when baby inevitably wakes up. Can’t sleep yet anyway. It’s been a very long and difficult evening. Cagletini is lovely and happy and doing so many adorable things but holy crap she is hard work. Here are some not very flattering photos of her getting up to mischief 🙄🙄🙄 the gap between the kallaxes is currently covered with games and books she has pulled off the shelves. Too tired to fix it. She also finally grew tall enough to climb onto the sofa last week so nowhere is safe now.

Really hoping tomorrow will be better. Have rearranged a play date which is good as I want the time just us really.

Right going to try and make myself feel better with a list, then attempt sleep (or rather close my eyes and listen to King of the Hill DVDs in an attempt to relax)

ta da
✅made a decent lunch for myself and baby
✅paid trampolining invoice as soon as it arrived
✅phoned author, she is going to send me the first few chapters to type up soon, REALLY looking forward to having something that is valued outside our family IYSWIM, quite aside from the money being nice
✅tried to be a good friend/relative with messages to various people
✅organised sports club
✅booked GP appt
✅messaged art student friend about a commissioned painting for DD
✅managed to gather myself enough to read a bit to the Caglets
✅got DS to write out his poem
✅cancelled play date for tomorrow and for Tuesday as I have the dentist then
✅cooked dinner
✅salvaged the evening and tried to make it nice for Caglets
✅tricky conversation with DH about how I can manage things better - to be continued tomorrow I hope

Right must go. Night folks.

Why were you up so late SC??

Ooophs didn't spot extra page
Aw cags she's so adorable!!
Well done for salvaging the evening hope you got some sleep!
I really need get my arse into gear!!
Bbl

Morning everyone! I have been up since 5.30, which isn't great as I'm travelling today to see my Mum after dropping the DDs at school. We are going for lunch and a wander around Chester.

Cag She is adorable! But did you have to remind me what a pain babies are when they get mobile?

laurenium Hello!

lauren not taking all the meds as that would mean I would be off my brain function. Just took enough to deal with the pain levels had but nothing too high on the prescription list. I don't like taking strong painkillers and tend to avoid it longer than I should.

Managed a semi reasonable sleep so feeling a bit better and having a computer free day as the screen at work is giving me eye strain. Someone has been adjusting the brightness settings and it is too dull for me. The peril of shared jobs and hot-desking. Tbf it is not like I don't have plenty to keep me busy away from the computer today. But for now must go annoy the teenager - aka make sure he is awake. And get him out of the door for school. Then I have a whole hour to do stuff before chasing about with hospital appointments with him. I am tired just thinking about it.

Vat of fresh brewed coffee on the naughty corner bar for those in need. Extra strong which a hint of pointy stick espresso kick undertone kick to it.

Morning everyone. Goodness busy on here already.
Cags your baby is just too cute. She has imp written on her face though.
lauren Welcome. I joined just before Caglitini was born. I was lurking for a couple of months before and glad I did.

We did have a few tears yesterday but not as much as I thought I would as the medication for pain also helps my stress it meant I wasn’t in stress mode just a bit upset. A whole year or more before I see her again and her partner/ boyfriend who I love too. She wants me to come over but after she left I realised I can’t as I have the cat! I think she is not expecting to see the cat again and this upset her a lot. I reminded her that BF went to Canada for two and a half years leaving old cat with me and cat was still here when she returned. 22 years old before she died.

Going to throw myself into housework today and try not to think about it.
I’ve cleaned my purse out already this week and the car is ok except the boot which I don’t want to open as it is cram packed with school stuff. If you open it some falls out! I might tackle it later but it is windy and looks like rain. We have storm warnings for Callum.

Ta das
Fed cat who is now curled up asleep on DDs cushion.
Sorted a pile of vegan magazines last night. Must use them while DD is away and try eating vegan at least twice a week.would lose more weight if I ate it all the time but I’m not disciplined enough.

To do.
Empty dishwasher.
Clean work tops
Sweep floor then wash
Clear table
Make fruit salad as I have masses of fruit.
Cancel veggie box for next week as I can’t get through everything we have on my own.

15 minutes of dining room sorting.
Vacuum through downstairs
Clean cobwebs off window and sill. Remove huge spider.

Sitting room.
Tidy, stuff that shouldn’t be in there.
15 minutes table hot spot.
Light fire.

Make bed
Put wash on.

That should keep me busy today. Also need to sit down and cuddle cat
Will pop back later. I’m off to fed Houdini before she escapes and comes looking for left over cat food!.

sc I do still have the horses! We have 4 now between me and my mum (with a 5th arriving in November)... they live in mums small holding now- not sure if I was still at livery when I was last here or not- so it's very lovely!

Ta da: horses in out the weather and stables made up
Field shelter mucked and re bedded for tonight
Floors mopped and hoovered
Big food shop

To do: put ironing away
Fetch Guinea pigs indoors- set up their winter house
Car 😳😳 it's a state
Put food shop away
Cook tea (and clean up after!)

hills you can't get coffee like that in Costa!!

Tada
Everyone up,fed, watered,pack up made
Lil zoo with do to hospital for bloods at 730
Wash up and clear kitchen
Workmen in progress in kitchen (since 8)
Prep notes for meeting

Didn't need in the end...school have backpedalled and were very helpful

zoo that sounds a little promising then, hopefully they continue to be supportive

Ta da
Cleaned both bathrooms
Dishwasher emptied and reloaded
General tidy up
Washing hung up
Washing on
Updated online food shop

Still feeling a bit strange today just anxious, can't concentrate. I think it may be pms but I don't keep track very well I need to start a mood diary I think! Does anyone take any vitamins or anything to help with pms? I seem to have worse symptoms than previously recently and it's starting to get me down a bit. I wonder if I need to increase exercise / drink more water that kind of thing.

Today I was so worried I'd offended someone it was bothering me so much that I sent the person a message , she was lovely and said I absolutely hadn't offended so she probably thinks I'm a loon now 😂 I mean I do worry about things like that but I seem to be really over thinking this week.

GAH. It would be so much easier for me to do some work if I had a computer that actually works when I need it technology

Hate to rain on your cornflakes foxes but diet plays huge part in pms...sugar of any kind messes hormone levels throwing things of kilter so no chocolate,cake biscuits etc nuts and seeds for good fats
I've accepted I would rather be a basketcase than take my food joys away,but I'm old n snarly anyways now.did it(there's a book by marylon Stewart that I did that's very very good,but requires be strict yourself) and I did pick up really well

I'm on the train back home from seeing my mum now, lovely lunch out and wander around the shops. She treated me to a maternity coat and a new shirt while we were out too, she's a sweetie!

To do when I get home...

Food shopping
Quick hoover
Cat litter
Laundry

zoo I'm so pleased that you had less trouble with them than you thought!

Thanks zoo I'll have to look at that . I have had more chocolate than usual this week come to think of it...

Hi to laurenamium and everyone else. Sorry to hear your DH is struggling Cag. Glad school meeting not too awful zoo.

Ta da:/
Went for a run
Met a friend for a walk
Did most of home bleugh
At swimming with DDs
DD2 spellings

To do:-
Fish and chip tea
DD1 spellings
Plan for DD1 having a friend over for sleepover tomorrow . I love play dates but never done a sleepover.
Finish home bleugh - clean bathroom

Ah I hate that foxes where you’re replaying conversations in your head etc. Paranoia sucks. BTW chocolate can increase anxiety due to the caffeine content (I have to be really strict with DD because of this, some are more sensitive to it than others).

Zoo I’m chuffed they have a plan and that they are involving his interests too. Really pleased they have accepted the need to go gradually.

Sports club was great today and made £46 so extra glad DH was ok for it. We then got free ice creams as the refreshment hut was closing for the winter :o double caramel magnum 😋😍

Have had quite a shit afternoon mood wise, I don’t feel anxious but yesterday just majorly took it out of me and I feel all flat, didn’t do anything with the Caglets just moped and feel like I’m in a crappy world of my own. Blah.

Oh cag I think there's something in the water at the moment all feel not quite right! I hope you feel better soon.

I'll definitely take sugar into consideration (once I've finished my chocolate dh bought home obviously!!) I don't generally eat a lot of sweet stuff I don't have a sweet tooth really but I do tend to crave it sometimes.

I'm feeling okay after finally getting some work done and dh did the school run so that's all good. Downside is ds was playing with someone today who unfortunately now has the sickness bug going around so I now feel like I'm watching and waiting for that! I only wiped his hands with baby wipes the whole time we were there 😱 I really must get into more of a hand washing routine for the dc when they walk into the house etc. I mean obviously I do wash their hands but as ds not potty trained yet it isn't as regular after having a wee iyswim. Goodness we sound grim!

Zoo forgot to thank you for the hug this morning. It was much appreciated. Glad they seem to have sorted things out for D.
I was going well this morning when a friend ran to say to get ready she was taking me out for lunch! So we had a lovely time out I just got a tear when I was talking about DD leaving her cat. I think that is probably harder for her than leaving me! She has always been a real cat girl but loved her horse too. She had bunnies and likes the chicken and made her ramps and things because she read the get bored.
FoxesI used to take Evening Primrose and I did feel that made a difference.
Lauren lucky you with the horses. I don’t have any now and do miss it at times. Had them from 14 and was riding before that.
Steggysounds like you have had a lovely time.
Usually not much sleep on a sleepover Stressy 😁
Waves to 👋SC.

Ta das
Vacuumed through downstairs.
Sitting room tidy and fire on.
Kitchen done except I haven’t washed the floor yet.
Completed all the things on list except the following

To do
15minutes in dining.
Cobwebs and spider removal.

Plan to do quite a lot tomorrow. It does look better today. It is lovely and cosy now I have the wood burner on. It will be toasty in November when the other stove arrives. I had fish and chips out so just a small snack later maybe.

cag free ice creams.happy days
Foxes we wash hands on return to the house.as an emetaphobe I was also told people aren't usually contagious before they drop it's during and just after,so all is not lost yet.i know what you mean though about waiting and watching.everything X he will be ok

There's a confirmation service at church Sunday and 2of kids choir are included and they'd like kids choir to sing,but lack of numbers currently attending it's not guaranteed so we a went tonight.poor D's spent the 30mins play shaking and the hour of singing shaking,gasping and in full panic the entire time(we sat behind the others )I felt awful keeping him there but I want him to participate in something plus if we left I'd still gave to go back again to get the girls as it's dark now and I'm not at ease them making way back even just X and up our rd in the dark as our side is full of hedges and there are only street lights on other side of the road!
I'm proud of him and he sang a little,bless him.hes super strung out still but very tired so I'm hoping he sleeps a bit better tonight
Super blustery here-used a flying carrier bag that try smack me in the face(much to zoolets amusement) on way home!!

Zoo goodness he really is in a state bless him. Could you teach him some of the mindfulness exercises to do when this happens?
I use several and it does slow the heart rate and feeling of panic. I have only experienced this a few times. Recently it was worse and my GP was really helpful talking me through some breathing as I was feeling light headed before I went.

So so glad school was better than expected Zoo, I hope it stays that way.

Welcome Lauren

and hugs to all that need them! I hope this doesn't come across the wrong way but it is reassuring for me on some level to read some of your struggles especially health and anxiety/mood related etc bc I can relate so well and that doesn't usually happen in "real life". When I was really struggling postnatally and tried opening up, a well meaning close friend told me it's normal, all parents worry from time to time, you just need to not worry. It wasn't helpful. Lol.

Not got any flying done today besides my morning and before bed routines but had 2 hospital appointments on different sites and went to a morning playgroup so I did my best!

Zoo oh no poor thing! Think that's a great idea from Bower if you don't do it / haven't tried it already xx

zoo hope your ds ok poor thing. Yes washing hands on returning home is a great routine to get into I think.

Just need to not worry. Bahahaha. Yeah. Helpful. 😂

I’d love to hear some more mindfulness exercises. I do the five senses one with DD sometimes.

I have been totally useless today and feel like a crap mum and wife and general grown up. I seem to be slipping into bad sleep habits as well, finally got baby to bed at midnight and yet here I am faffing about on the iPad watching crap telly.

ta da
✅replied to some awkward messages
✅went to sports club and updated income record
✅tried to arrange time to discuss plans with DH. Not till Monday as he’s working all weekend. I will attempt some list writing before this though I think.

Zoo don't feel awful, you had your two others to consider, plus (although this sounds harsh and much easier said than done etc) the only way to overcome fear ultimately is to confront it. Ideally best if done gradually with support, but you are not necessarily doing him any favours if you let him avoid. That is what ed pysch said anyway when dd (who was about nine at the time) went through period of anxiety, mainly centred around tests and exams (of which there are many here). Her strategies were to relax and try and "accept" the anxiety (not fight it but stay with it), and although it is distressing, be aware that it is not going to harm you and that it will pass etc.

She also got dd to keep a notebook listing feelings before event, feelings during event + any strategies applied, and feelings after event with accompanying scoring of any fear levels out of five. And eventually dd came to realise that often (not always but often) anticipatory fear before event was worse than actual fear and when actual fear was bad what effects the different strategies had.

And the notebook proved useful on some days when she had to go and do a certain thing, and she could look up in the book that last time she did it, her anticipatory fear was a nine but her actual fear was only a six ifyswim (still not good but when the exercise was repeated the fear levels diminished).

All of that depends on being able to think whilst in the middle of a panic attack though - and it sounds as though your ds's anxiety is very severe indeed poor lad - so apologies if I am talking rubbish.

So glad to hear that school were supportive and are putting strategies in place for him. Small steps and all of that.

Really feel for your ds though as there were many occasions as pre-teen/teen in church or in school chapel when I felt anxious that I would faint or throw up or embarrass myself in some way in front of everyone and that fear can become a vicious circle. As a child you don't "get" the fact that you have autonomy and can walk out and grab a breath of fresh air and of course in more structured situations such as at school you don't have that option. It's all about giving a child a sense of control and autonomy I think but also them being able to withstand discomfort to a certain degree (I feel utterly crap atm but that's also ok) when those things are not possible if that makes any sense at all! Not easy at all though. Not at all easy as a parent to know when to push and when to hold back. And of course as a child, one doesn't always have huge reserves of confidence to draw on, in the first place.

Foxes sorry you are not feeling too chipper . It could be diet related (but your menus always look fab and varied to me!) or could be hormonal or could just be quite a few years of sleep deprivation and constant focus on los which is very debilitating. If you don't mind me saying, you strike me as a very conscientious person who puts a lot of effort in to what they do, and when you give and give and give the battery can run down from time to time. Might be worth an appt with gp if things don't improve maybe? Anxiety is so draining.I remember long, long periods alone with dd as a baby, in a strange country, when dh was travelling (he basically lived in E. Europe for the first six years of her life!) andparticularly when dd was ill, I sometimes found the responsibility really weighed me down. It wasn't always an undiluted pleasure at all I'm afraid to say. And it does get to you after a while.

Sorry if all of that is a bit rambly! We have been hosting farmers tonight and boy can they down the old and (Missing case of beer emoticon!!)

Foxes hope sickness bug stays well and truly beyond your front door!

Cag Those photos of Cagletini are absolutely GORGEOUS!!!

Sorry you are also finding things tough going atm too. It's funny how one day one can wake up and feel ok and other times we feel less than strong. It does seem very arbitrary sometimes. And well done re: sports club and glad your dh was well enough.

Indeed Danigrace "you need not worry" is deeply unhelpful! Hospital appts definitely count as Flying btw!

Bower what a lovely friend you have! (Wing flaps to HennyPenny.)

TooStressy [hands over crate of post-sleepover for tomorrow ]

Your ma sounds lovely Steg! Relaxing day much deserved mid-building works!

Lauren great to hear about the horses! Wow you have loads! Do they all come in at night? If so, that's quite a bit of work; worth it though! I had a lovely plod ride on dhorse today even though he is a bit bolshy atm and tries it on, he is good when it comes to important things like (a) stopping (b) letting large farm machinery pass by (c) not reacting when pheasant flies vertically up out of hedge without warning!

Wing flaps to everyone else I've missed. Sorry. Really tiring day. Riding. Plumbers, drainage specialist, had coffee and watched snatches of Royal wedding with elderly (very active mind you) neighbour and her friend who know more about the British royal family than I d! . Did I get this right that one of the readings came from the Great Gatsby? Have they read the book do you think? A tale of bankrupt morals and despair would not be the first source that springs to mind for a wedding? Followed by frantic shopping, cleaning and cooking for entertaining tonight (not an easy task with 30 yr old stove with only one ring that works)! Still, it seemed to go ok! The certainly flowed! [Hic]

Will need a bit of a lie in tomorrow so posting links now! G'night all!