Please will you kindly support and advise me, as I try to help a friend sort out his home?

[EatingTheElephantInChunks]

Yesterday I started to try to help a friend sort out his home. If I tell you that it took me nearly 3 hours to clear a space on the bathroom floor about 3ft x 4ft, you will probably understand how things are. Today I did a little better. In about 2 hours I cleared another space the same size, which meant I could open a cupboard. Two shelves were almost empty, so I was able to clean those and use them for storage. I will carry on next time with the other 2 shelves and continue clearing the bathroom floor.

It was very satisfying to get rid of a whole binbag of rubbish yesterday and a half bag today, plus a bag and a half of recycling, and a small bag of confidential waste to shred. There is a folding storage crate of things to keep so far, but I'll go through that again to see if I've missed anything that should be thrown out or recycled.

My friend has got into this situation after many years of serious illness and close bereavements, has no family left and few friends, certainly not really close ones. He has been at the stage for several years where he doesn't have visitors. He needs many repairs and much decorating doing, and is getting to the stage where carers visiting would be helpful. I am hoping to get him to the stage where that will be possible. He is such a nice guy, and it's a shame that life has gradually got smaller and smaller for him over the years. It must be terribly lonely.

I feel honoured that he has trusted me with the truth of how things are. I can't talk to anyone IRL as I know it's essential to protect his privacy, and I have changed my username in case anyone makes the connections. I could do with some mumsnet wisdom and support! I have never felt such a sense of achievement over a bit of floorspace 3ft x 4ft, but equally the enormity of the task hit me.

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The author - writing under the pseudonym EatingTheElephantInChunks - claims and owns the copyright of all her posts dated on and after 14th August 2018 as her intellectual property and as a moral right and which are all her own individual and original work. Reproduction in whole or part or any other use is strictly prohibited without her prior written permission.

[Edited by MNHQ at posters request]

Wow! You're still going! I posted a bit way back when you first started. I've started helping my friend one day a week since the schools went back. She has 2 bedrooms which haven't been seen by anyone else in over a decade. Even though she is quite happy to make snap decisions - relocate, donate, bin - it is a much more time intensive process than I had imagined. Plus, as she doesn't drive, my car is piled up until I can get to the tip! I was hoping to be done by Christmas but think Easter at the earliest now. We'll done on the progress you have made!

Ah lovely Ellie!

The kitchen progress sounds amazing. How brilliant to have cleared some working space for your friend. That must be such a boon to his quality of life and self respect.

I hope the cold, dark, wet session was the low point (it sounds awful). Future sessions can only be better - possibly with the exception of a future Appliance D-Day.

Ele, I can't exactly remember how I found this thread but I have made an account just to tell you how amazing you are!! You have done a wonderful thing for your friend and the progress you have made will be so helpful to him

Hello everyone. Just swinging by with an unelephant-like speedy update: The Dreaded Job is almost chunked! Last night I did the last 45 awful trips of it. Still some related clearing up to do but THE WORST OF IT IS OVER!!! Wooohoooo!!! I had intended to have a G&T in relief, reward and celebration but I was so tired after I had cleaned myself up I got straight into my pjs, missed the G&T and family meal, had a comforting hot chocolate with buttery crumpets instead and fell asleep in an embarrassing heap on the sofa. Back off to it now for a couple of hours despite the aches - and hopefully back here soon. Thank you so much pps - will reply. Take care my dear herd and thank you with all my heart for adopting me.

How wonderful!

Way to go Ele, well done! I must admit buttery crumpets with hot chocolate and falling asleep in the sofa sounds very cosy and comforting (I do hope someone popped a blanket over you) albeit not as exciting as gin! Does that mean you're on to the dreaded appliances next?? I've rather lost the order of progress 😁. 💐💐

Well done! You rock 🤘

If we could actually come and help you with this big project, it would be a cleaning party!
Thinking of you.

You are amazing xx

Have loved this thread - you are amazing!!!

Goodness, I am in awe of you.

Well done you!!!!

You are amazing Nellie. I hope your friend and his cat are enjoying the extra space and home comforts.
I'm going to be ever so annoying and suggest that you get the professionals in for those appliances - it sounds like you have saved your friend an absolute fortune through your heroic efforts, so hopefully he can fund their removal and replacement now. It really will be the cherry on top of your amazing kitchen transformation to have new, safe appliances.

Delurking (unlurking?) from my watch list to give you a huge vat of gin and a massive cake and to say I have been admiring your tenacity from afar. Keep on chunking that elephant!

I just rediscovered this thread, I remember you starting it and am so moved by your consistency and kindness. I can’t believe it’s been two years but this slow and steady pace is probably just what your friend needs to become accustomed to the changes you are making. The house didn’t get into this state in a hurry after all.
I’d love to offer to help in some way but appreciate that’s not appropriate so will instead send virtual support and thanks that there are good people like you who help others out.

All the wows, bloody amazing effort !

I've followed you from the beginning and I think it's high time I told you what a bloody wonderful person you are! Your tenacity is to be admired for sure.
Honestly, if there were more people in the world like you it would be a much nicer place to be.
Keep on keeping on and I hope Santa brings you all the gin your heart desires. If anyone deserves it you do

Nellie, just dropping in on "Christmas Eve Eve" (as Phoebe Buffay would say) to wish you, your friend and his cat a happy Christmas. I hope you receive enough gin to fuel your endeavours for the next few months.

Another long time lurker thinking about my blessings and your thread came to my mind. Hope all is going well with you and yours, OP.

You have been such an inspiration to me this year. Thank you.

Merry Christmas Ele, hope you've been able to make progress for your own sense of achievement and all the lockdown shebang hasn't made stuff too hideous. Here's to a brighter 2021!

Hope all is well Nellie

Hello everyone. Long time no see, especially to the old familiars. My back is aching badly and there will be homeless spiders furiously rebuilding today, so that should tell you - as sure as elephants are elephants - that I've been back at it. I hope to post again - once I've worked out just what to say about the last few months?! - and with an update, but in the meantime I hope this very belated post finds you all doing ok or even better.

Great to hear from you Ele. Hope the good weather before this week was helping. How's the gin fund looking?

We’re still cheering for you!