New year, new organisation! Fledglings fly in 2018.

[TooStressyForMyOwnGood]

Hello all and Happy New Year!

A warm welcome to the January Flylady thread. This is a lovely friendly thread where we loosely follow the Flylady system (see the Flylady website) in the hope of having organised homes and lives.

Every day the thread leader (me this month) posts links and missions from the Flylady site and also some friendly (!) personal comments. This is quite a ‘talky’ thread but we try our hardest not to be cliquey and new members are very welcome! Typically there are a lot of new members in January so I will do my best to keep track of everybody .

Old members, as you know there have been a few issues with links at times so if there is some chopping and changing over the month with the links then that is why. Please note that Flylady is (understandably) keen for people to click on her site so please do have a look around the site and the links.

On the website there is information for beginners. You can also sign up to the Flylady emails but we would advise caution as there are hundreds of them.

We post our achievements (ta das) and our to do lists and any other general chatter about life / flying.

Information on getting started: www.flylady.net/d/getting-started/

The launch pad is also a good starting place:www.flylady.net/c/lp.php

Fly stands for Finally Loving Yourself. The general idea is that short bursts of tidying / organisation are more achievable than marathon efforts. Flylady advises 15 minute bursts is effort but you can tweak this to fit your own circumstances.

I’m sure lots of you have New Years Resolutions to be organised and to declutter, as I do every year . Be kind to yourselves and careful not to crash and burn!

I am risking making two:-
Go to bed at 11pm unless decent reason why not.
Spend less time on my phone.

Here are the links for Monday 1st Jan. although I am linking these then if you are treating today as a holiday (as much as is possible in real life anyway!) then feel free to take today off.

*
Here is the daily summary for Monday (also available on the Flylady website at flight plan which should update automatically each day).

I’m afraid I start the year confused . I’ve just looked on the Flylady website and the link to the zone and missions is here which indicates we will be in zone 5 which is the living room. I would have thought the month starts in zone 1 but I know this has happened before, I think SC explained? TBH after Xmas I think most living rooms could use a bit of work so it won’t hurt . Apologies if this is confusing.

Re. zones, do what works for you. I don’t always stick to the zones myself and do what works best at the time, with varying degrees of success!

Spend 15 mins decluttering, or whatever you can manage, in Zone 5.

When you have finished decluttering, the detailed cleaning list (if you are at that stage) for Zone 5 is here.

daily focus

missions for the week

Flykids mission

January’s habit is shining your sink.

beginner babysteps.

Happy flying everyone.
**

Whispers thank you the home ed bully was a pretty unusual situation, it’s just one family where the eldest particularly is incredibly nasty and sneaky and the mum would blame everyone else (for example, apparently my DD was “asking for it” whenever she criticised her work ). Unfortunately I gave her the benefit of the doubt for far too long and my DD and her friends suffered for it. Lots of families were giving a wide berth already as they have pushed everyone away by being so nasty, it’s sad really as her DC will end up very lonely but I can’t let that be our responsibility any more, she needs to step up and actually help them learn to be good friends who don’t hurt people. Oh and from what she said when we were still friends it seems like she actually was how you described at the school gate, I felt sorry for the teachers :o sorry I probably sound really bitchy myself now. It’s nice to be able to talk about it more freely now as I felt so humiliated for so long and so guilty about how bad it got before we got away. Thankfully the home ed community as a whole is absolutely brilliant and there’s never a shortage of lovely friends to hang out or learn with. I just have to be a bit careful about booking things that they might go to, but so much goes on round here that we don’t miss out. :)

Yesterday’s ta da list
✅loaded washing machine (again didn’t turn it on, DH did this morning)
✅cooked dinner rather than takeaway
✅collected parcel (it was nothing urgent so I’d left this since 21/12!)
✅fielded yet more anxiety from DD. A week into her meds break (for newbies she is autistic and was given melatonin because she has huge sleeping trouble, unlike her equally autistic brother, but has to come off it briefly every few months) and the lack of sleep is really causing the worries to sneak in. :( The paediatrician said 1-2 weeks and that we could stop if she was really distressed and that one week is fine, so as last night was the seventh night, we are stopping. It’s just too much at the moment when she’s seen the bullies three times now, Christmas chaos comedown, and a cluster feeding baby taking too much of my attention in the evenings (DH works lates) :( hopefully in another few months we can go two weeks.

Need to get moving, I was up by 8 but ended up napping. I’m still in my jammies and just realised I have leaked all over my top while feeding . We are going to the circus this afternoon, a free thing for an autism group but transport is a bit of a faff.

I’m feeling guilty because a family member asked to pop over and we will have to have left by then. Why do I feel guilty, they gave us no notice, it’s not our fault we have a life but in this sort of situation I always try and bend over backwards not to piss people off. If I started threads I’d be told to stop being a doormat. We’ve said if they can come an hour earlier it’s fine, as I don’t want to be bitched about if we don’t help out, and they haven’t met the baby, but then the living room is also a mess and that will probably get us bitched about anyway. Why am I like this?! FFS.

She has done really well cag It took a while for ds to tolerate his breaks being longer than a week.

Ds came home with a new pair of trainers a whole size and a half larger than his school shoes. The trainers fit well and we need to go school shoe shopping before monday His feet are firmly bigger than mine now so this is going to get expensive quick adult clothes tax fun

Ah thanks hills and oh noooo at adult shoe sizes! DD is 4.5 and she’s only ten, she’s quite tall and lanky. My mum gave her some old ballroom shoes which will save a fortune, and she’s excited as adult ones have thinner heels.

I was organised this morning and sent DD with a bottle of water and snack, as DH usually spends money on snacks for her, and we are wanting to save money. I dread to think how much money we blow on that sort of thing each week.

I have also been organised and emailed a form to a friend to print (she gets free printing and I’m seeing her at the circus... as a fellow audience member I mean, she’s not a clown or anything...) as the tap school manager emailed me AGAIN. 😳😳😳 I also have forms for Badgers in my bag so I’m going to write in the diary for next Tuesday and Thursday so I remember both forms. Of course what would be even more organised is actually sorting out the damn printer so I don’t need to ask others, but baby steps... 🤔

We haven’t used our whiteboard this year (cheapie with a week grid) but term starts on Monday so hopefully will do that. I’m already behind on filling the diary in too FFS. But not going to let myself think oh fuck it why bother. Better late than never. Baby steps... again...

Not blaming DH for all the snack spends BTW, it’s just that ballroom specifically is one he takes DD to and she gets food and fizzy drinks (the latter I am not happy with for health reasons as well as financial)

Mummy is getting strict this year 😡😡

Just swooping in to express sympathies over holiday hwk projs. They may be utter slave drivers in the state education system here during (extremely pressurised and intense) terms (the pace of work is horrifying) but the holidays are long and generally hwk free (apart from odd book to read or if you have resits). It gives a nice rhythm to the year tbh and is a good incentive to work like a dog when school is 'on' ifysim. And hardly any arty or creative projects at all as curriculum is very dry; which of course is sad during term time but a definite boon during holidays!

(Yes I am back on the continent sorting out a horrid sewage/plumbing problem in the country, oh joy!). Dh and DD following on Sun. But I may be going back to Blighty to visit family after that, depending on building issues here. A bit of a rushed holiday visit what with weather limited travel etc

I have spent all morning in bit dungeon and girls room of doom....

Binbags fill boot of car
3huge bags clothes
I huge bag with magic tricks and toys
Huge back books
All about go to chazza

We have partial floors
I've inhale lord knows how much dust daring to go under beds
They aren't spotless but we are making progress

Go walk to drop charity stuff as I am streaming eyes n nose and feel really tight chested(not diagnosed asthmatic btw)so slow stroll outside might help clear the lungs!!

Toostressy lil zoo HATED school books so we always read home ones and put them in her diary tbf most offerings at her old school were rubbish

Hills lil zoo has gone up two shoe sizes so when we got her school shoes realized needed new trainers etc....luckily mine have small feet still-lil zoo(10yo) size 2.ds (12)size 3.dd2(14 in April)size 4

SC don't envy you having sewer/plumbing issues😢

Am back after a couple of days of absence. I haven't read any of today's posts yet but I just wanted to mention a couple of things that posters have talked about:

• it surprises me how many of us have ASD children. to posters and children whose children have been bullied in primary (and secondary, of course). Support for ASD children is very patchy and whilst there are fantastic teachers and schools about, there are also poorly trained, poorly resourced teachers/schools out there. Cuts in government funding and the changes in funding criteria is making things even worse. DS's school is very good at supporting him and other children with ASD and other disabilities. There are 4 children in his class with ASD.
• so many of us work in education. I really want to leave and do something else but what...?
• still I think it was your daughter that was shouted at? At choir? Did you say anything to the choirmaster? (Sorry if you updated) I think I would have had to say something because it doesn't matter if he has a high pressured job in his normal life - he is working with children in a voluntary capacity.

The last couple of days have been really busy but I have managed to do bits and bobs.

Major ta-das
*I have an accountant who does my tax return but I still have to get all the important info to him. I managed to do that and sign off all the forms too. Just have to pay HRMC now.
*All my visible paper work has now been stuffed into various folders to be sorted at another time - at least the kitchen counter is clean
*Paid for all clubs, lunches this term for DS
*Paid for green bin for this year
*Paid subletting fee on a apartment I own
*Cleared out snack cupboard and let DS have a picnic on nearly out of date snacks. His face was a delight when he saw the picnic.

Cag - ugh, sounds like a horrible situation, well done for recognising it and keeping your dd away from them now. You sound like a lovely mum, really in tune with your dd's needs 😊 💐

Forgive my ignorance, I have zero experience with ASD, why do they need to take a med break if it causes so many issues? 😕

On the topic of school homework, my DC go to a very small school (70ish children), and the proportion of low income families is probably at least 60%. Craft homework projects are definitely a no-no because so many families would just not have the resources to be able to complete them, and a number have quite chaotic lives, so just wouldn't see the homework as a priority anyway. We even do things like the Easter bonnet competitions as a craft project done at school so as not to disadvantage the children who wouldn't be able to bring something in (I'm on the pta and we organise that every year). I am very glad the school doesn't do them... I am a crafty person, but would hate the obligation, and agree that those sorts of projects are mostly done by the parents, which takes away the point of it being homework! I know the head reasonably well and thankfully know that she feels the same way 😅

So, as far as flying has gone, I have barely got off the ground today 🙈 Ah well, tomorrow is another day 😅

Totally agree re homework Whispers. SC, I am very glad to hear the school holidays are more relaxed for you as everything you write about your school system sounds so strict!

Ta da:-
Lots of poster work done with DD1- need to wait for DH to finish it off
DD2 party invites written

Thanks Toostressy; yes, one advantage of the system here is approx 19 weeks hols per yr (inc. Wed pms) why hey! Not easy for working mothers though! And ta very much for links! (Not that I am Flying properly ATM I must confess but flat out with building stuff/tree planting stuff.) Ankle deep in mud most of the time, and dragging branches about.

Thanks Zoo happily, sewage issues confined to loo in back, not in lav in new bathroom!

Zoo would personally have a quiet, polite word with that choir master. Would probably open the conversation saying (with deliberate faux ignorance) did my DD do something to upset you, because she was very distressed when she got home and doesn't want to sing now; "what can we do together to resolve this?" sort of thing?? (Making it clear ultimately that shouting at youngsters is not on of course, but going in gently often more effective at start iysim). I don't think some teachers (usually blokes - not patently lovely teachers like you Bowerbird) realise how much a child takes being singled out and barked at, to heart, unfortunately. My dd would have been distraught too.

Sorry, can't scroll down but everyone is so busy on here, you put me to shame! You've all started the NY so productively! Tally-hooo everyone!

Reading down this thread has reminded me of the traumas of spending three weekends making a three dimensional model of a spyrogyra (a sort of algae I think) in second yr of secondary. On presenting it at school, I was roundly criticised loudly by our biology teacher for using far too much "glue" (wallpaper paste in this instance with speckles of black pepper). She got even more cross when I pointed out that that was meant to represent the layer of pectin and was made to stand in the corner for the rest of the lesson..back to the class. I then had to stay behind and write "I shall not contradict my teacher" on the blackboard 20 times... the injustice still rankles ...I'm scarred for life I tell you

Homework in primary makes me , especially in infants and I've even seen it in eyfs, FFS what is that about? When I set homework (school policy), it was always "talk to someone in your family about..." or "show your parent/carer how..." And the project ones (my Ds had build a working volcano, take photos and write it all up on a PowerPoint presentation) are even worse. As whispers says, some children lead very chaotic lives and the families are not necessarily able to cope with or want to do homework. And I can guarantee that the children with the chaotic lives feel terrible about not doing the projects - it makes them even more crap. So whispers kudos to your HT for recognising this.

makes them feel* even more ...

Hills and Bowerbird don't like the sound of wheezing/tight chests - look after yourselves - hope symptoms ease soon!

Whispers - don't worry at all - we all have those days! Just jump in tomorrow and start again; you are never behind with her Flyship

That was an injustice SC!

Tummy upset in the house so ds's room got a more thorough cleaning than even I imagined. Everything ended up being washed at 60 .

I've cleaned all the upstairs and the downstairs hall and loo. Moving on to kitchen and downstairs rooms. Windows cleaned inside and outside. Makes a big difference.

Zone 2 is next week so the Kitchen will be ongoing alongside spring clean of other downstairs rooms. Once I get Flylady up and going theoretically I need never spring clean again

Sitting room clean, dusted and tidy. Decs all packed away,looks a bit bare.
Cleaned one shelf in dining room but now need to find a new home for 1/2 the stuff. Thinking I will need this when we get kitchen done and as some was cards, ribbon and Xmas bags I put them in with the decs.
Need to do one row in book shelf.
Need to sort washing.

Thanks SC but I am afraid I do shout occasionally not at all last term and they would have tried the patience of a saint😀 I am a HLTA not a teacher so I have a more varied timetable and not quite as much pressure on me. Well I do but in a different way. Not as much paperwork. I do teach some days and cover instead of supply, sometimes five minutes notice. However even the worst behaved admit" You're fair Miss." I don't let it stew I get them in later and talk it over and I never hold it against them. Likewise they don't usually. I pick them to do a message or a special job and try and get them back on track. I find it stressful later and have been to my GP a few times.

Fool - Yes, our head is amazing, so not surprising that it's an issue she recognises. She's genuinely one of the most thoughtful people I've ever met, she always makes time for parents with any issues and solves problems very quickly, no matter how minor they might seem from an outside perspective 😊

Subtle - Thank you for the reassurance, I know there's no point beating myself up about it, but there's always the critical voice at the back of the mind.. will try and let go and just crack on tomorrow 😊
That said, I did manage to get a bit of motivation after I posted, so have managed to sort washing, do dishwasher and leave a reasonably tidy kitchen 😊

Hats off to you Bowerbird and to everyone else working in education (and healthcare) - both extremely demanding and stressful - and undervalued. I do think DC have a very finely honed sense of natural justice; so I am sure your fairness is much appreciated. Congrats re:list!

Oh no to tummy bug Lisette I hope your lo recovers soon. You've got lots done considering.

Cheery wing flaps to Whispers and to F&F and to everyone else!

Ta da:
Dog walk X 2
Tracked down and pleaded with plumber to Heeellpp!!!
Pulled ropes for tree surgeon
Piled up branches in to mahoosive pile
Paced out and planted penultimate fruit tree (one to go)
Cleaned sitting room
Emptied bins.
Cleaned hall and bathroom.
Hoovered everywhere.
Put candles and lanterns around courtyard.
Talked to different tree surgeon about very complex tree removal (grown in to building)
Baked Nigella's Christmas muffins and pot of tea
Built fire
Entertained neighbour and yacked for an hour
Cleared up, washed up and cleaned kitchen.
Made bicarb and vinegar paste to smear on kitchen taps, plugholes and stainless steel surfaces overnight.
Locked up.
Fed furry.
Brushed mud off furry undercarriage

G'night all!

Well done for late energy spurt Whispers!

Most of today has been " discussing" the issue of homework with ds. Think the neighbours lost that discussion as it got a bit loud and rather heated

ta da
ds's window frame/sil deep cleaned
Curtains ironed and hung
ds to do 2 of 3 pieces of homework
chinese cooking
a load of blankets washed

and that was about it

I am feeling exhausted just looking at your ta da list, subtle 😮 Well done 😁🎉

Thanks Whispers - most of it was quite enjoyable - apart from sewage/plumber bit (ongoing).

Oh dear Hills re hwk "convo"; best to make sure it will sink in though!