Fledglings flying high in July - the Flylady thread

[TooStressyForMyOwnGood]

Hello and welcome to July's Flylady thread! This is a lovely friendly thread where we follow (sort of) the Flylady system in the hope of having organised homes. Some of us are more successful at this than others ;).

Newcomers are very welcome, please don't be put off by any abbreviations or general gossip. Please join in the gossip.

Every day the thread leader (me this month) will post information about the next day. This will be the current zone we are in, the decluttering/ tidying mission and the habit for the day / month. Generally this is done the evening before.

All information is available on the Flylady website www.flylady.net. On the website there is information for beginners. You can also sign up to the Flylady emails -
we would advise caution as there are hundreds of them.

We post our achievements (ta das) and our to do lists and any other general chatter about life / flying.

There will be lots of information on this thread and you can also have a look around the (confusing at times) Flylady website:-

Information on getting started: www.flylady.net/d/getting-started/

The launch pad is also a good starting place:www.flylady.net/c/lp.php

Fly stands for Finally Loving Yourself. The general idea is that short bursts of tidying / organisation are more achievable than marathon efforts. Flylady advises 15 minute bursts is effort but you can tweak this to fit your own circumstances.

It is not a miracle and sometimes the missions are very optimistic but I work on the principle that something is better than nothing :)

Thanks for a great June thread SC.

Happy flying everyone .

. We have our show coming up too, first one for me as I only started a couple of years ago, but I have been involved as a parent/chaperone previously and that's harder than the dancing (will be doing both this time).

SC - sorry to hear about DD and the camp, what a shame, but lucky her that she has such supportive parents. Hope she gets the rest she needs now she's back home again.

Grey - welcome back, sorry to hear you are poorly.

Sympathies to everyone with untidy DCs. One of my biggest parenting fails is discipline on tidying up after themselves. DS makes more mess than DD, but is better at keeping his room tidy. DD is a hoarder.

Not much Flying to report, however I did clean out the salad drawers of the fridge this morning.

I am a mean horrible mummy that my dd hates this morning dd will be 11 in September, is it too much to ask her to look after her things? Every week, on the Monday bleurgh, I have had to spend quite a bit of time in her bedroom, just to find floor space to hoover. Every week I have asked really politely, please just keep it to this level, then next week Mummy will get a bit more done and you will be back to having a beautiful room again in no time. Every week, it ends up worse. So this Monday I didn't go in, I just said to both dd and ds, nicely no shouting, 'on Wednesday, anything that is left out on the floor of your bedroom or the play room, will be thrown in the bin'. Ds ran around like a loony tidying all his toys away, dd just shouted 'I hate you, you're a horrible, mean person' I've gently reminded her what was going to happen all week, this morning, I gently reminded that they have till 815 then anything that is left out is being put in the bin. dd still didn't do anything, so at 8, I went upstairs and bagged 3 bags up off the floor of dd's room, placed them in the playroom ready to throw out on our way to school. I gave them another chance, and said 'they're not in the bin yet, if there's anything that you want to keep, get it out of the bag and put it away'. By this time, dd was in floods of tears screaming and shouting at me, she got some things back out but not everything, she much preferred to tantrum on the floor about it. I think she thought I wouldn't throw them because I have mentioned doing this before. But when we went out for the school run, I made her throw it all in the bin. She was sobbing and I feel really mean, but I just don't know how else to encourage her to look after her things . I've tried the nice way, I've tried doing it for her, doing it with her, it just doesn't work! She'll be at senior school next year and really needs to learn a little bit of independence , but it's so hard to be a parent at times, especially when I feel mean. I don't want to be a grown up today!! There was nothing much of value that was thrown, lip glosses, bobbles, a few clothes, some craft things, material for her sewing etc, so it can all be replaced, but I am gutted for her that she didn't make the decision to just put it all away!

Anyways, my list has been made for today. Better get on with it all. Hope everyone has a good day !!

Just popping in briefly to say the scan was great, everything healthy and gorgeous 😍

But baby was still being shy. They reckon it's a girl but said it's no guarantee!

Rosa repeat after me " I will not replace what has been thrown"

I did this when dd2 was about her age(ds was 9,lil zoo 7) I only had to bin things once.they get a 15 min warning and I a comin' and that its on floor it's in the bin.they scatter for rooms and beaver quickly to move treasured items(this doesn't incl under beds just main floor space)
You did the right thing.do not feel bad.if you look at uy differently it's disrespectful if their things and of you expecting you yo sort it uc they are able
I help/organise major clear ups have screaming ab dabs whilst they meltdown sporadically. Am hoping to get more a regular routine in ut now I've dejunk the rooms and keep on top if it. I moaned yesterday fir 2stray bits paper and a my lil pony but if you don't it soon looks like toybox explosion
I know its hard.xx

Wash that's done I'd now folded and put away/on zoolets beds fir them put away after school
Dd2 asleep sofa.damn ears need chopping off....

cag how exciting!glad cagletini is doing well.clearly shy,or just likes privacy!!

It's all feeling very real now I must say. Saw so much detail - little feet, cute nose etc. I have to admit I have been struggling this time - not that I'm not excited, but this baby was very much Not Planned and I am so used to just being us four that I have found it so hard to envisage another baby. But I think this scan has helped. I keep staring at the scan photos! 💕 I really wish we knew the sex for sure though. They said I can ask again at the growth scan (first is in 7 weeks).

Rosa huge sympathies. It is bloody hard when you have toys everywhere and messy rooms. I find in our house it's mostly the living room but that's only because their room is too tiny to play in really. So all their crap is flung all over the place.

Can you have a calm chat with them when it's blown over and everyone is in a better mood? Make a plan perhaps on how they can work with you to prevent drastic action being needed again? The Caglets are younger and with SN so this may not be right but we are going to use a list (with pictures for youngest) of things that need to be done each morning and night and after meals too, all of which involve a little tidying up after themselves. I have not taught them this stuff and now we are floundering :(

My DD would do the same as yours FWIW - when faced with a decision and consequences she just freezes and gets angry.

Hello all, at work, will be on later.

I have tried helping
tried picture lists
Tried itemised lists explaining what tasks need to be done under the heading of tidy
tried threatening me tidying - things get thrown out
tried grounding/technology ban etc

My conclusion is that you either have children who are naturally tidy or you don't and it is not about the ability to tidy because that can be taught. It is about their definition of messy and whether they can see mess.

Ta da
feel more human.

to do shower, up and get all the things done.

*Einstein" sounds like another rough day
By your standards i am so screwed...
I haven't taught zoolets good tidying skills.they do not see mess.....

I have opened cupboard under stairs Pandoras box with intention go thru everything before tip run Fri. This involves my extensive obsessive recipe collection hoard lots stray bits cut out recipes need filing into folders.I am talking multiple hours get it all sorted. Fuck knows what right at back behind my crate wool/knitting patterns

If I disappear off thread longer than Fri someone call in a st Bernard!!

PS I spotted phone try say I had put drunks in the fridge. That,people,is a step too far
We don't want stray riff raff in naughty corner

Hello all, just caught up with thread. Not the best day here. Management up to their normal behaviour at work then later girls playing out in the garden then were fighting so had to come in, then found a bloody headlouse in DD1's hair so had to treat her . Also had conversation with my mum on the phone that did not go well - the girls and I are meant to be going to their house for a few days in summer and my dad is insistent on driving us all down. They have such little faith in me at times and it is hard to get my point across . Not helped by he fact that they really do think they are doing me a favour. Left it in an awkward goodbye where we have not actually resolved anything as he still wants to come and pick us up (not sure the car seats will fit so I now have to measure them and get back to them - have said I am not doing that tonight). And breathe!

SC, thank you, I must also work on The Voice and a good phrase. longtime, glad the concert was good. zoo, Einstein and Rosa, sympathies with older DC and room battles. Cag, so pleased scan went well. Einstein, I bet you are right about the messy definition thing. Wh0Kn0ws, I am in awe of you doing a tap show . zoo, get those drunks out of the naughty corner, they will be drinking all our .

Big wing flaps to Afresh, foxes (hope you are ok?), Purple, Cotswold, Honu, mermaids, BluePheasant (hope not feeling too sick) and everyone else. I'll be on with links in a bit.

***

Here is the daily summary for Thursday (also available on the Flylady website at flight plan which should update automatically each day

The daily focus for Thursday is: errand day. Of course another day may work better for this for you or if getting out and about is difficult you can do this with online errands.

Baby-step no 6 - put out your hot spot (a hot spot is any place where clutter always builds up). Such an important one!

reminders

We are in Zone 1 this week: the entrance, front porch and dining room

Spend 15 mins, or whatever you can manage, decluttering in Zone 1.

When you have finished decluttering, the detailed cleaning list (if you are at that stage) for Zone 1 is here

Today's mission is here

Flykids mission

July's habit is swish and swipe

Happy flying everyone.

**

Evening!
Long 12 hour day at work today, very tired towards the end but nausea fairly under control. I got a prescription from gp but haven't taken any yet as have been better last couple of days but at least I know I've got it if I get really bad again as Sunday was bloody awful!

What a shame about your DD sc, poor thing, it does sound like she is a bit burnt out. Not at all selfish to feel disappointed for losing your time to yourself though, I would feel the same, it's such a rarity!

Aw glad to hear all well with your scan cag hopefully can get a clearer view between babies legs at growth scan

Oh dear Rosa that sounds tough and stressful but like zoo says I bet you'll only have to do that once! Sounds you needed to give her short sharp shock and like you said she is getting to the age where she shouldn't be taking you for granted

Zero flying happening here, I'm so tired all the time. DH taking care of the essentials but he's come down with another virus so we are both pretty useless atm! July basically going to be a write off I think

Glad you are feeling a bit better BluePheasant and that you have the prescription. Absolutely not unreasonable to be upset for your DD and at losing your childfree time SC .

X posts stressy
Sorry to hear not been a good day. Parents do sound difficult, is a fine line between helping and being overbearing sometimes. Does sound like one of these instances where you will have to put your foot down and stick your guns. Silly him doing a round trip when you are happier driving yourself!
Good luck with the lice treatment,
You probably also need this

Thanks BluePheasant. TBH I really donmr fancy making the drive myself as it is 3 hours and is difficult at times - DH normally does it - but the idea of him doing a round trip is just madness. Will have to try to reach some kind of compromise tomorrow. Fear I am going to have to be cruel to be kind and am not sure how to do it. DH reckons if they could just start to see me as a grown up it might improve relationships all round but I worry that to get to that point will involve a lot of discord.

I really hope when I am a grandparent I remember where the line is for interference. The thing is that, day-to-day, they are not involved in the DC's lives which is maybe why they then get over-involved when they have the opportunity. But how to fix it? Ugh.

Sounds like quite a few rotten days so sending banana muffins to anyobe that likes them (found a bunch of bananas that were black).

I've had a busy but productive day at work and dh and I went out for a walk to celebrate the lovely weather instead of doing housework. I'm refusing to feel guilty...

I got very grumpy with a post office lady who shut the counter five minutes early so I couldn't send my parcel. She refused to reopen it even though I pointed out the time. So much for getting that job done. I did buy crisps though so there was some compensation.

Ta da's
Dishwasher plus washing up done
Lots sorted at school
Nice walk
Finished baby blanket and packaged up for sending
Made muffins

Sorry stressy but i think you are just going to have to put up with the discord. Hard in the short run but hopefully will improve things in the long run.

Not so much a difficult day but a needing to take time for me as neglected important things like sleep day.

Cag just make sure that when you are dealing with the caglets re tidying up that you don't assume that they understand what tidying up is. Ds has to have a list. Precise details. put books on bookshelf in correct orientation kind level of details. Anything not on the list will not be done as in his eyes it is not part of the task of getting tidy because it was not on the list. iyswim. I suspect that you have done more than you think wrt them and tidy. But lets be honest no one actually likes to tidy up, it is just that some people hate mess more than tidying up.

Must go crash as have been up way to late as got side tracked by good wise people who i need to listen to. Night

Yes I agree einstein it has to be incredibly specific. Sometimes I write on their whiteboards things like "pick up hangers and hang them in the wardrobe" and other such tiny tasks. TBF I am similar though, I really struggle with the idea of "just tidy up" - I'm like whoaaaa but where do I start?!

Really interesting point about some people just hating mess more than they hate tidying!

Tired this morning and we all only got up properly at 9. I was awake for a couple of hours at 4am again . DD was feeling very dizzy yesterday and isn't doing too much better now so not sure what to do today.

Thanks for the understanding and comments about dd, she came home from school absolutely fine and said she understood that she had plenty of time to do it. She thought after apologising that she could get them out of the bin, but I said they would be dirty now, there was no drama though, so fingers crossed the lesson has been learnt.....for now!!

Dd2 is still not sleeping, been surviving a on 4-5 hours of broken sleep for over a week now, pffttt, I've nicknamed her cock-blocker because she's always in our bed

Having my coffee before I get stuck in,

ta da
beds made
s&s
dishwasher on
washer on

to do
concentrating on clothes and dining room today, possibly some gardening. I've used the little and often approach in the garden for the past week or so and it looks so much better!!

I'll try and get back on later to catch up on the thread properly.

Hi, mind if I join? I've always picked up and put down flylady but today I found the app and it's so much more comprehensive so I'm giving it another go! I like that my calendar syncs to it and it's all laid out in handy to do lists. I've done the morning routine, I'm on my second load of washing, I've scrubbed the bathroom (before I looked at the app so that's a bonus ;) ) and I've got food in the oven for meal prep. I've shared out the kitchen zone tasks between today, tomorrow and Sat so I'm good to go!

Just going back now to read the thread.

Welcome crackers! :)

crackers welcome!

I am about to go into the cupboard under the stairs of doom...

Have spent6 hr sorting recipes.still not complete,but I can continue whilst watch TV later,the rest cupboard needs attacking whilst zoolets are out if the way(in nicest possible sense!)

Dd2 is having random rocking/screaming moments with pain in ear.triage agree she needs be seen so it pediatric nurse app at 310.she's all but mainlining paracetamol
Max dose daily.ibuprofen join party yest.not made a chugging dent in it .watch her and being powerless to help is horriblefinger x they can do something (anything)

Right I am braving the cupboard...

410.would be pointless going in cupboard otherwise!! Lil zoo and ds has comic club and girl runs it picks up along her little sister and takes them to library to do it,so I not got worry bout retrieving them.she also returns them home after!