The Hoarders Anonymous Thread Part Three...Still Sorting It Out ~ Together!

[Solo]

Are you are any of the following? Can you be described as a clutterbug? Are you a hoarder, in a mess, untidy, disorganised, lazy with housework that has lead to something that you now feel unable to deal with. If you are ill and not coping with the housework. If you are emotionally attached to items for whatever reason. If you cannot just ask someone in for a cuppa at a moments notice or dread the meter reader asking for access.

Are you nodding whilst reading any of these words? If you have a combination of any or all of these things or something completely different, please join us. No one here will judge you. We have something in common and we have a common goal. We share our ideas and we share our disappointments no matter how big and our celebrations no matter how small. We cheer one another along and drag the drowners from the depths of despair.

Join us; we don't bite :) Welcome to thread number 3.

Cag you do loads! You are always getting stuff done so don't be disheartened . Why don't you let him know you need him to stay positive - even if it's not how he feels, he could just look positive for you to keep you going?

Thank you, I think I will have to do that.

Hello friends! Any progress at all? None here but, planning to get lots done on my time off as not going anywhere...

I am redoing clothes. Did older kids with them.
But I had five massive ikea bags plus boxes of shoes etc for the youngest two. So I dragged it all downstairs to sort it out.

Wish me luck.

Good luck Babies! :)

I am down to two ikea bags of clothes and two boxes of shoes for the little girls !

I am going to keep plugging away at the laundry and when ALL the clean/dry clothes have been added to the bags I will konmari them with the little girls.

Doing shoes tonight as that is trying on and chucking..easy.

Way to go Babies!! :)

Haven't done anything for ages. However am on nights tomorrow and DD in nursery during the day so will be spending the morning decluttering. Have bin bags ready for crap, boxes for storage. Just need to it in attic and start.

I have 18 days off in total in August and Dd and I are not only going to have a bit of fun, we are going to have a bloody good sort out and clean!

Hi all!

Still slow progress here and predictably we haven't made any dramatic progress in the time DH has had off work. Why does bloody real life have to get in the way?! The most we've managed is to get a bag of stuff to charity every Saturday, and getting rid of the odd thing.

However we have come to a rather exciting, yet terrifying, decision. In a couple of months we are going to HIRE A SKIP!!! Basically it is starting to look like our housing situation may change sooner than we thought (we were predicting a year or so but may be more like 6 months). And of course with Caglet #3 due in less than 4 months (OMG) the pressure is really on.

The skip is mostly for big bits of furniture that is falling apart and won't last the move. We don't really have anything worth taking at all TBH which is surely an indicator of how awful a state our home is in. :( But we really don't want to buy new things before we move. So we are going to have to manage without various things. The main thing is the Caglets' bed frames. They won't mind having their mattresses on the floor, but it means a whole lot of reorganisation because DS has a cabin bed with shelves and wardrobe, and DD has drawers under her bed. Some are broken already but that's still a lot of stuff (mostly clothes) that needs moving. For example we will have to keep most of the Caglets' clothes in our room - luckily we have a wall-length wardrobe so plenty of hanging space but it's hard to access due to dodgy sliding doors and of course the huge amount of crap on our bedroom floor.

So the plan is to continue decluttering small stuff as much as possible, and also, believe it or not, to start packing some stuff (in decent stacking boxes) that we don't need much access to in the meantime! So when we get the skip we can chuck empty furniture straight in.

It still feels quite insurmountable but hoping that with more specific planning we can keep ploughing on.

Hi all, hello Cag :) I'm so sorry Cag I thought I'd responded to your post! My Ds was on a mattress on the floor for years and he has got rid of the base at Mums (where he now lives) as he prefers it on the floor. And a ^skip?!* brilliant! I can't have a skip due to the layout of my property so I'm envious! I'm off from Thursday next week...Please God give me the energy and resolve to sort this crappy house out!

Oh TBF I haven't actually checked if we can have a skip here! I bloody hope we can though. The alternative is a hippo bag but we have such a lot of furniture to chop up and ditch.

Storage boxes have arrived so once I'm home we will be packing some stuff. Got a horrible cough/cold at the mo though so easy does it.

We are chilling in the school holidays. :)

The four children and I are having a group daily tidy of the living room/dining room.

Then the children spend 10 minutes tidying their bedrooms, whilst I clean the kitchen.

Next week we are adding a daily walk (my health permitting)

Our bedroom is still a mare and I am still battling laundry and my to do list is out of control but we are doing fine.

Interesting after the first couple of days the older two decided to 'cheat' by picking up after themselves so their room stayed tidied. I gave them extra 'I noticed' points and praised them.

So the older two spend their time helping the little two in their bedroom instead :)

Cag it will get done one way or another.

That's great Babies :)

Hope everyone is doing ok and enjoying the holidays.

Skip sounds great cag, wish could get one but no room.

Good idea to get kids to help babies, I may ask DSS to do that too.

Solo hope you get what you need done with days off and enjoy holidays.

Still doing basics but I have caught a stomach bug or having a bad relapse of my bowel problems.

So no movement in our room. :(

Oh no babies :( sorry about the bad tummy. Glad you have started a routine though, sounds fab. We recently made a Morning List for the Caglets, not particularly tidying-related (stuff like brushing teeth is included - we live in chaos so everything is a battle) but having things like "clear your breakfast bowls" and "put hangers away after getting dressed" is helping to stem the build up of extra mess a bit. After a while we will add a bedtime list and even a mealtime one which will include clearing table etc so really hoping it will all add up to a slightly less chaotic home.

Having a flare up myself today so not getting anything done at all.

Feeling so sad today. Probably not helped by still feeling quite ill (am just sitting making decisions not physically exerting myself)

Just trying to be ruthless about stuff but everything I throw away is like admitting a little defeat, giving up on a dream.

I went through a big box of home ed resources and chucked pretty much everything because it won't get used. A lot of it was just things handed down to us so maybe they wouldn't have been that useful (activities without instructions etc) and we have no shortage of resources available in other ways, but even so it's like each thing is saying look how crap I am, not using this educational thing, throwing away opportunities!

But it's also tied up in the sadness that home ed isn't going how I envisaged. Which is par for the course really for HE but I never imagined when we took the Caglets out of school in 2015 that both would end up diagnosed autistic, that we'd be investigating learning difficulties for DD who just can't keep any information in her head, and is so far behind with rock bottom confidence because of bullying that has happened from another home ed girl, which meant she was terrified to even try anything new that might make her feel stupid.

And the books, loads of chapter books that DD won't read because she can't understand them. I know it's ridiculous because most of them (except a few rare ones which I'll keep as they're out of print) could be borrowed from the library anyway. But it makes me so so sad.

And now I'm crying and feel guilty because I told the kids to go do something else instead of actually doing the maths they're finally happy to do every day

(((Hugs))) letting go of stuff is hard enough and letting go of the idea and dreams attached to the stuff can be heartbreaking.

(((Hugs))) for your children. Parenting is hard enough to start off with and you have loads of additional things to cope on top of parenting 101. You are doing a wonderful job with your children and your home ed will be tailored to your children, not to the stuff you were given to use.

Look after yourself and take time to watch your children play...always makes me feel better :)

Cag Keep going. Remember why you're doing this, small steps will make a big difference.

I have been slogging away in our room this afternoon (despite still feeling unwell)
And managed to throw a few bags, remove a computer table and cleaned our window.

Now I have one side clear, to move the running machine from downstairs to our room ! Clearing a corner downstairs for the chest of drawers o0n our landing.

So hopefully we will move the stuff around over the next day or three and then I can start the other side !

Cag I hope you will be ok.

Hi there, I hope this is going to be a really great group for me! I love to keep stuff, and I tend to be very untidy. I have bad anxiety that makes me just freeze at the prospect of completing certain tasks. It can be something as small as picking up a sock, putting something away, or hoovering a cobweb that I've looked at for weeks and weeks. I think it's a type of OCD. I'm also married to a v controlling man who dictates standards of housework and tidiness but refuses to do any. STBXH, thank god.
Anyway, today he was coming home from s few days away, and that gave me the impetus to get a few bits done (screwed up, I know). I removed the sofa covers and washed one part; tidied and hoovered the gigantic living room floor; hoovered the kitchen and hallway; took a bit of recycling outside; folded and put away two loads of washing.
I hate the fact that I still am motivated by my basic fear of his judgment. I mean, it makes me do stuff that does need doing, but it's the root of my motivation that makes me sad and angry. I feel like a robot.

Thank you all felt a bit better after sobbing on DH (I showed him my post as it was easier than saying it) but didn't get anything else done really. Anxiety through the roof. But still we made some progress today even if it doesn't actually look like it!

Welcome Pink :) I'm very glad he will be XH soon. He sounds utterly dreadful . Don't feel bad about your motivation, he has worn you down and that will have an effect, but I bet the more freedom you get from him the better it will be.

I know what you mean about the anxiety about doing tiny tasks. It's paralysing isn't it?

Cag ((hugs)) it will be okay ~ it really will.x

Babies great work :)

How are you both Singapore and Attic ?

And welcome Pink to our little group :) you sound like I was with my ex#1, controlling to say the least ~ so abusive! Awful man! Glad yours will be exh soon.