Fledglings flutter round the May Pole – FlyLady May 2015

[Greymalkin]

First of all, a big thank you to Dogsbum for leading us (for the very first time) through the April thread; fantastic job!

If you are struggling with C.H.A.O.S. (Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome) and S.T.U.F.F. (Something That Undermines Family Fun) then this is the thread where we (loosely) follow the step-by-step Flylady housekeeping system (in our own, unique, relaxed style) with lots of chat, support and chat along the way.

The FlyLady link is here Don't be put off by the barf-tastic language of the site - the underlying system is sound!

This little-and-often system is designed so that you can follow a series of steps and routines each day (which gradually become second nature) in zones of the house which are designated weekly; defining and minimising housework - which in theory should leave you with loads more time to do something more interesting instead!

At the same time it is intended to reduce that panicky "rabbit in headlights" feeling when you are overwhelmed and everything needs doing all at once. No problem if you miss a day or two; just jump right back in and it will all come around next month again!

It's up to you, but we advise not signing up to receive the Flylady e-mails as you will be inundated! All the information you need will be linked here on a daily basis.

From the first of the month, we will be following Flylady's steps and routines using a three-pronged approach (dependent on the stage everyone is at):

• start or repeat baby steps
• repeat baby steps + do 15 minutes a day decluttering in the current zone
• reinforce babysteps and do daily missions if you have finished decluttering.
• And if you are really enthusiastic and have finished decluttering - you can go on to detailed deep cleaning in each zone.

There are three key points to keep in mind throughout:

• No perfectionism allowed - this is harder than you would imagine and many of us on this thread struggle with this one!
• You are never behind - just start where you are and anything you do is progress.
• It didn't get into a mess overnight, it won't get tidy over night - accept it will take time to get on top of things and you will be happier.

If you are new; then trying to spend 15mins decluttering daily and doing the babysteps is a good way to start. Some of us (mentioning no names!) can have scary looking ‘ta-da’ lists but don't let that worry you! Do what you can, anything is better than nothing, and don't judge yourself against others.

If all else fails, a + the power of three technique + a bit of support on here can work wonders!

Here's the launch pad for more experienced fledglings.

Don’t let it put you off if we appear a bit cliquey, we really aren’t! Some of us have been on here for years – but all lurkers, intermittent returnees, oldies and newcomers very, very welcome

Yes, envious of veg planting too, it was a beautiful day here and I had to spend all day sat inside at my laptop (at least with a view of the garden). Hoping to get back to the allotment later, I stayed up past midnight working on the assignment and feel I have broken the back of it now.

SC - M&S! Great news!

Grey - thank you for sharing about your training, that does sound really full-on, the interview process that is. Promise not to start divulging angst in your direction (other than the general moans on her).

here not her

We are home. Trip to DM's went very well. DS1 was on excellent form - very relaxed and sociable. Now that he's less stressed, he's started getting on much better with DS2, which is a joy to see. Their antics made DM laugh - a very good thing for her at the moment. She says the house seems horribly quiet now we've gone. She's coming here again in a couple of weeks, so won't have too long on her own.

Came home to an astonishingly tidy house, thanks to my frantic blitz before we left. It really was very cheering. And the new decking was lovely to see: we were able to sit outside, drinking tea in the sunshine, with newly potted flowers blooming all around us. It's like having a new, very pretty, room.

Did all the unpacking and two loads of washing after we arrived home.

Our bedroom, of course, is another matter. Very much the Dorian Gray of our house, as Swan mentioned upthread. DH is taking DS2 to visit his mum's today and I'm determined to use the time to tidy it.

Have had a quick read through the thread as I was feeling very out of date.

Glad you got through your interview, Grey. It sounds very testing. Fingers crossed for good news.

Sorry you are still struggling with DD's revision issues, SC. Don't beat yourself up about DH's impact on her - my DH often has a greater impact on DS1 (eg. he persuaded him to cut his hair by bluntly telling him how awful it looked, whereas I had been kindly cajoling him, which had no impact at all!). I don't feel bad about it because I see it as teamwork. None of us can do everything.

DEM - really sorry you are so stressed at the moment. Hope the trip proves worthwhile in the end (it's amazing how many things we really dread end up turning out so much better than we expect, I always think ).

Sorry, have to stop writing and get DS2 a late breakfast.

Problems with school, camhs, school trips, abroad trips, massive important meetings, building work, expensive month, ds who is incredibly fragile. Living hell is just bouncing from one crisis fighting to the next. It will pass. June is calmer. But I am utterly exhausted from one thing after another without the chance to rest properly and it has taken emotional and exhausting toll. Today is a huge celebration here so this morning has been spent crisis tidying and tidying lounge, dinning room, kitchen, ironing, folding, laundry. Next job to get ds into the shower. If i am lucky I will get a chance to sit down before people arrive. Otherwise tuesday will be a sit on ass and make a bloody good list day.

great news Toffee about the trip going so well and the brothers enjoying each other's company
Dog perfectly natural to feel tired - and your body's way of protecting itself in the run up
Grey thanks for links

yesterday I achieved

taking children out to various classes in car
taking boys (who were being very resistant and bolshy to each other and me) out for long walk in park - had to apply lots of positive reinforcement money and shoves to the process but they were much better tempered afterwards and dh got a break so
went out to see a friend for supper round corner and watch DVD with her and another (a very jolly eve)
and no less than 7 household tasks including changing our sheets/hanging out laundry etc

today has been not so good - got up extremely late which led to havoc and let slip the hounds of war (been watching Foyle's War and that stuck in my brain)
dh has taken children out but not before a further altercation

we cannot really win - if we get up early we are tired and badtempered
if we get up late the children are bolshy and disagreeable from not being chivvied into breakfast getting dressed doing homework etc in good time and day has disappeared into muddle!

The only solution is tidying and saintliness no doubt.

SC decide what you want to happen (after mature reflection) and then go for it! With of course further mature reflection in course of action as to whether one's plan is actually working out as one meant it to. It is easier for dh to come in and be sure of his position because he hasn't had to deal with the day to day chivvying. Everyone has their part to play like Golum I am in a bad mood with dh atm and I need to get that out of my system!!!!

Thanks for the grey. We don't have an allotment, but do have a veg patch. It was brilliant the first year, but has been pretty dismal since with ^&$(&$* slugs eating everything as soon as it pokes its head above ground. Lots of rain forecast next week so will have to be extra vigilant on slug patrol!

Waves and to all. Well, it's nearly wine o'clock!

Good evening Fledglings!

Here are our links for tomorrow, Monday 18th May:

Link to the flight plan for an overall summary

As it is the start of a new week, here is our sneak peak for the week which tells you what all of the upcoming missions are

Tomorrow’s baby step is read Flylady’s 11 Commandments ...

The Daily focus for Monday is Weekly Home Bleugh

Our habit of the month is Moving More

This week we are in Zone 4: The Boudoir aka the Master Bedroom. Declutter in here for 15 minutes each day.

Our mission in this week’s zone is spend 15 minutes dealing with all the clutter under your bed

The detailed cleaning list for this zone is here for the more experienced Fledglings

Launch pad is here and is full of all the info you need each day, well worth a look.

How is everyone doing today? It been lovely to catch up on the thread and touch base with you all.

What have you all been doing to renew your spirits? DEM I'm looking at you - I hope you have been able to find a bit of time for yourself.

I've had a great catch up over lots of coffee with a close friend and spent the afternoon gardening with DH and DS.

I even managed some flying:
Beds made x2
Cats trays dealt with x2
Dishwasher x2
Laundry folded and put away
Washing on and hung up to dry
Entrance hall swept
Rubbish and recycling taken outside
All DSs toys put away
Lots of stuff sold on eBay

DH and I are now parked on the sofa, catching up on 'The Following' and waiting for a pizza to arrive.

I'm still enjoying reading thread to hear people's news but personals seem to be beyond me since heavily pregnant state arrived. I feel fine but no flying, no DIY and I've no idea what I am doing at the moment if I'm really honest.

I would be quite happy to sleep through to the end of pregnancy if sleeping wasn't such a hard thing to achieve these days! Although the weather being a bit cooler has definitely helped a lot.

I had a four hour lunch with friends on Friday which was very enjoyable, even though I feel a bit weird saying that when it turns out of my friends found out just this week that she has breast cancer. However, prognosis is as good as it can ever be, caught super early and lump to be removed in a couple of weeks. Friend is doing as well as she can, I think she is still in shock to be honest, but she is a very strong person. So if the lump analysis goes well then she should be fine, physically at least, I'm sure the emotional toll will be something else when it hits home.

Only thing I have achieved today is packing hospital bag after being asked twice this week if I'd done it and people were horrified that I hadn't done a thing. I'm seeing midwife on Tues and apparently I'm being visited by a Health Visitor at home on Tues as well so I thought I'd better get on.

Not sure what health visitor is coming for to be honest as I thought they only came after you had the baby and the midwife hasn't mentioned this visit coming at any point, so I'm totally in the dark about why she is coming.

Luckily despite me not doing any flying in the last week or so following the flylady way means that house is still in pretty good shape. Well nothing that should cause a health visitor to have any issues with my house anyway.

HV comes before the baby to chat about what support you have in place afterwards, introduce herself, let you know what they offer for postnatal classes, how often they visit once the baby comes along and all that kind of stuff, dogs. Or at least that's what ours did. She was lovely and a total life saver, although I know other people had much less positive experiences.

went to church with two kids - met lots of friends there it always makes me feel in a much better mood after I've been and ds2 seems to thrive there - two years ago he was a complete fidget but now he takes it all in his stride, chatting away and enjoys the McDonalds afterward

made it up with husband thankfully

cleaning -nope
still trying to disentangle EHCP stuff and find out what I do next with appeal etc

waves rather uselessly - my hands are freezing and I'm draped in a rug. going to kitchen now to search for some calorific snack - where are the honey roasted cashews when you need them (definitely don't have those but I wish I did - only I would probably have eaten them by now so you can never win with snacks)

Thanks for that Blue I was feeling quite puzzled as I've always heard about Health Visitors doing checks on babies like weight, etc. so I couldn't work out what they could possibly do without a baby to check

I hope I'm as lucky as you and get a good health visitor, sadly they don't seem to get a good press generally so it's good to hear that you had a positive experience.

Good luck with your snack hunt Swan Think I might raid the cupboard myself in a moment.

I had two excellent health visitors, Dogs, so no reason why the same won't happen to you. Maybe people only bother to post about negative experiences, generally.

Swan - am secretly relieved to see that you take your DS2 to McDonald's. We never used to go, but have relented recently because it delights both children and they eat everything.

Re: snacks - DH came back from work and shopping with bagfuls of high-calorie snacks for the boys, which I have proceeded to munch through all evening . Really must improve my self-discipline.

Dogs - I forgot my hospital notes the first time I went into labour. Dh had go home to get them. Make sure you don't follow my example - put them in your hospital bag now! Very sorry to hear about your friend. I'm sure having a fun lunch with friends did her the world of good.

Grey - oooh, I have inadvertently started the weekly task today, as I spent time decluttering our bedroom!

Dem - sorry life is so stressful at the moment. It sounds really, really tough.

ta da

Fed cats
Swished and swiped
DH dropped DS2 at MIL's whilst he went to work
Took DS1 out for a walk in the sunshine (had lovely chat)
Walked into town on my own and bought lunch for us
Ate lunch in the garden (on our new decking!) with DS1
Decluttered in bedroom for a couple of hours
Transferred DS1's documents into much larger file
Sorted paperwork
Unloaded and reloaded d/w
Fed cats
Dinner

Watched 'Better Call Saul' with DS1 and DH
Bedtimes

Thanks for that Toffee good to hear that someone else has had good experiences. As it happens all the bad stuff I've heard about HVs has been from people in real life, I haven't read any online posts. The one that scared me most was when an ex-colleague talked about his wife being reduced to tears by her hv (and this guys wife was the scariest woman I've ever met and I'm not easily scared!).

I will heed your warning about the notes and pack them now

You are right about the lunch for my friend, she said it was just the distraction she needed. There is nothing she can do to change anything so sometimes when you have no power in a situation I think distracting yourself is all you can do. Luckily she says she has some garden things that she needs to get done so she is going to keep herself busy/distracted in that way until the operation.

Glad to hear that visit to see your DM was good for her and that your house and garden decking were so nice to return to

Managing to do a bit of Monday Blurgh today.

• Bedding and towels in wash, 2 loads of washing done.
• Given the car a run after battery went flat over the weekend and had to get recovery out.
• Emptied bins
• Recycling out to car boot
• Have also looked under bed and hovered there, I'm lucky that it's a low bed so we don't actually store things under there, apart from I have to confess there is the lid to a wooden chest that I haven't finished making still at least it doesn't really create a mess.
• While I was in bedroom I decided to dust and polish as well so bedroom is in pretty good shape.

It's wet and cold here today so I've put heating on or the washing will never dry.

Plan this afternoon is to go and put in an order for a freezer for our cellar so that we can stock up on food a bit more as currently we only have a fridge/freezer and there really isn't much freezer space at all.

My other plan is to work out how to fit the car seat in the car as neither of us appear to have a clue at the moment Admittedly we haven't tried since we were shown when we bought it, fingers crossed it all comes flooding back to me

Depending on where you bought it some places will show you again if you pop in to customer services and ask nicely. DogsBum

And now I can sit down. Tonight I am doing fuck all. Tomo is starts all over again. Sooo much that needs to be done but right now it is an evening off. Although i might pick up a craft project should the need take me.

Got my dissertation extension approved to 27 Aug - which is kind of good news but there is no way I want it hanging on through the summer holidays, so I am determined to get it done pref by my original deadline of 25 June but if necessary I can take a couple of extra weeks.

Also managed to remember to book my car in for MOT - yay! I usually forget till a couple of days beforehand.

Hello Fledglings

Here are your links for tomorrow, Tuesday 19th May:

Link to the flight plan for an overall summary

Tomorrow’s baby step is Another testimonial

The Daily focus for Tuesday is Planning Day

Our habit of the month is Moving More

This week we are in Zone 4: The Boudoir aka the Master Bedroom. Declutter in here for 15 minutes each day.

Our mission in this week’s zone is chuck out odd socks and tights

The detailed cleaning list for this zone is here for the more experienced Fledglings

Launch pad is here and is full of all the info you need each day, well worth a look.

Dogs - sorry to hear about your friend . My health visitor is also brilliant. She came to do a pre-birth visit to introduce herself, talk about all the support she can offer, let me know about local children's services, and she was a life line when I had PND. Hope your HV is just as nice.

(yukky things, you're welcome to them )

Busy day for you Toffee, hope you get lots of nice weather to spend in your new garden

Enjoy your evening off DEM

Bless - yippee for dissertation extension!

Big wing flaps to SC Blue WhoKnows Shannara Castle Engles and everyone else I've forgotten.

I went back into my old job today to work a shift to help them out, it was lovely seeing everyone again. As a result, not much flying!
DH got a flat tyre today and is having to take tomorrow off work to be here for KwikFit to come to the rescue. It will actually be a treat in disguise to have a family day midweek!

Night.

Thanks Dark I would shamelessly go back and ask for help but sadly the long established, highly respected store I bought it from went belly up completely out of the blue shortly after we bought the car seat! We are regular customers of John Lewis so I am tempted to ask for help there as they have good customer service, I haven't bought any baby stuff there but have bought a freezer, a video camera and some bedding there today, so surely that should count for something? Can't hurt to ask if I can't work it out on my own. Will try in next couple of days.

Sorry to hear that you are having such a tough time at the moment Dark, I hope crafting helps or maybe

Bless congratulations on your extension, even if you hope not to use it at least you know it is there if you need some of it.

Thanks Grey on friend's behalf. Thanks also for telling me another positive Health Visitor experience. Really good to hear that maybe I just happened to know a few unlucky people, I do seem to remember hearing all the bad stories around the same time and all in my city so maybe there were just one or two bad ones around at that time.

I'll find out tomorrow, I'm seeing my midwife first so I'll ask if she knows about the visit and the HV in particular. My midwife is new too though, I've only met her once so she may not know the HV.

Glad to hear that flat tyre turned into a positive event, I love it when that happens

Feeling pretty pleased with how productive I've been today between washing and buying freezer and video camera, etc. Now feeling tired though so I think I'll be going to bed shortly.

I've been given tons of second hand baby clothes and I started washing them today so there are tiny clothes everywhere in my house on radiators, it's quite surreal! Can't believe how tiny some of the items are. Looking at the socks I'm wondering if my feet were ever really that small?!?!

Evening all,

Ta-da! My OU assignment is complete and I have hit the SUBMIT button. No more studying till October (if at all). Phew. I was getting very stressed about it on Saturday, but it suddenly all started to come together and I'm really happy with the way it turned out. Really have got no excuse not to do home blessing tomorrow now though. Upstairs is a right state.

Bless - glad you got the extension, that will take some pressure off you.

Dogs - I had lovely HVs too, and midwives. Sorry to hear about your friend.

Toffee - my two won't touch McDonalds stealth boast. It's really annoying, I love one occasionally and they always want to go to Pizza Hut instead.

Tbh i sat on my bed and promptly fell asleep. it was clearly needed

Tiny people clothes for tiny people yes you would have really been that small, it is hard to believe ds was ever that small when you look at him these days.

found this and several others that apply to me right now, thought I would share this one, it is our motto after all...

Congratulations on your assignment Whoknows that must be a weight off your mind, glad you've got a few months off now.

Thanks for letting me know you also had lovely midwives and HVs, looks like perhaps it is more normal to be lucky than unlucky in this area and I'm clearly on the lucky thread for HVs

Glad you got some sleep Dark. Tiny clothes for tiny people, who would have thought it!! Can you tell that I'm really not ready for the reality of parenthood!?!?

Love your stealth boast, WhoKnows . Well done on finishing your OU assignment.

Dogs - I remember looking at tiny clothes on my radiators and feeling disbelief that I was actually going to have a baby to put in them. It all felt surreal. I still look at my boys and wonder that I actually produced them.

DEM - glad you slept. I also fell asleep (on the sofa) this evening, which has completely thrown my sleep pattern as I'm now wide awake. It does, however, give me the chance to cut DS1's nails whilst he's sleeping .

Grey - how lovely to get an unexpected family day .

Bless - good news about the dissertation extension!

Fell into the internet zone this morning and was then very embarrassed to have a friend call round whilst I was still in my dressing gown . That will teach me.

Did some home ed stuff with DS2. Great excitement for DS1 when a microscope he'd ordered was delivered. He has since been looking for things to examine and tried to get a blood sample from his thumb, but decided it hurt too much!

Walked up to DC's old school this afternoon and collected one of DS2's friends. Had no idea what to cook them, but managed to cobble together sausages, fried potatoes and various veg in the end, which they appeared to enjoy.

Persuaded DS1 to have a bath and wash his hair, which he did without too much of an argument .

Not a lot of Flying done today. No chance tomorrow, either, as we have lots happening, starting with DS1's school lesson tomorrow first thing and ending with a meeting with his school in the afternoon.

But right now... nail cutting time .

Morning!

Greymalkin enjoy your family day today! And well done wrt your productive w/e!

Toffee Thanks for your v supportive words down thread about dd. We are still battling on. Contretemps over maths hwk last night (her old addled-of-brain-mother could not possibly be right but we got to the correct answer after 8 demonstrations no less!! [sigh])

Congrats on your v. productive start to the week and it's so good to hear that your trip to your dm's went well and that ds1 was so relaxed and enjoyed it too! (Wish I could cut dd's nails while she sleeps btw; but she is like a horse we use to own; you can never catch her lying down !!)

Thanks for the reminder DEM and glad you slept! Hope the family celebration went well too! But sorry to hear that your ds is feeling so fragile atm and everything is quite tough going currently.

Congrats on hitting OU work in to touch Whoknows which is a huge achievement with everything you have going on right now!

Dogsbum Well done re your productive day yesterday! What with freezer and washing tiny baby clothes and hospital bag packing etc; sounds as if you have reached that lovely 'nesting stage'! Glad you are getting plenty of rest too x I'm so sorry to hear about your friend btw, it is good that she has a friend like you (among others) to support her.

Bless good news about extension and very wise to treat it as contingency plan! Good luck with juggling everything!

Swan Good luck with unravelling EHCP stuff! Thanks for wise words re: dd down thread! It's the final count down to exams now and we are walking a tight rope between being strict and insisting the work is done, and not trying to raise stress levels. You are right though, one needs to step above the everyday bickering and have a clear vision and stick with it!

Btw, whenever we went to mass at Westminister Cathedral of a Sunday, a visit to Macdonald's was part of the well worn ritual (it is virtually next door after all!) Over here, everyone piles straight from church in to the queue at the bakery for their Sunday pastries!!

I hope you have caught up with sleep a bit now; I have no experience of teenagers (yet) so I could be talking through my hat as usual but could you and your dh possibly enjoy a lie in one Sunday having given the dc their instructions for the following morning the night before ifyswim (unload the dishwasher, set the breakfast table, s&s, first wash load on, make breakfast then wake us up??!!) A bit like handing your dc your morning routine for the day. Could possibly require hard cash in order to instigate!!

Big waves to Blue Shannara and everyone else I have missed!

Bit pathetic with only one child but I'm feeling a bit stressed atm now we are truly in the thick end-of-year events, Confirmation prep, exam season etc. So much to do and yet every evening or every afternoon there is a rehearsal or a meeting or something extra to get done when I am not really coping with ordinary stuff. Not helped by my stomach which is playing up something rotten. It always reacts to stress in the most unhelpful way, just when one needs to be on top form.

Does anyone else get horribly tired when stressed too? I don't understand it! I thought I would be pumping with energy and adrenaline but I just have this continual sense of 'dread' (dread is a bit strong to be honest, but can't think of suitable alternative!!) and just feeling draggingly exhausted, even after going to bed early ... again, just when one wants to be on top form. Heigh ho, onwards and upwards ...

Actually, I think what is getting me down is that I am not even looking forward to the summer holidays once all the exam madness stops. It's just another long succession of logistically challenging visits to family and friends in different countries (pleasant though those are of course). I think I am going to book myself a fortnight of doing something I really want to do. If you don't plan stuff firmly here wrt holidays, someone else is bound to plan it for you!!

Good luck with all the end-of-academic-year madness everyone and have a good day!