Fledglings flutter round the May Pole – FlyLady May 2015

[Greymalkin]

First of all, a big thank you to Dogsbum for leading us (for the very first time) through the April thread; fantastic job!

If you are struggling with C.H.A.O.S. (Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome) and S.T.U.F.F. (Something That Undermines Family Fun) then this is the thread where we (loosely) follow the step-by-step Flylady housekeeping system (in our own, unique, relaxed style) with lots of chat, support and chat along the way.

The FlyLady link is here Don't be put off by the barf-tastic language of the site - the underlying system is sound!

This little-and-often system is designed so that you can follow a series of steps and routines each day (which gradually become second nature) in zones of the house which are designated weekly; defining and minimising housework - which in theory should leave you with loads more time to do something more interesting instead!

At the same time it is intended to reduce that panicky "rabbit in headlights" feeling when you are overwhelmed and everything needs doing all at once. No problem if you miss a day or two; just jump right back in and it will all come around next month again!

It's up to you, but we advise not signing up to receive the Flylady e-mails as you will be inundated! All the information you need will be linked here on a daily basis.

From the first of the month, we will be following Flylady's steps and routines using a three-pronged approach (dependent on the stage everyone is at):

• start or repeat baby steps
• repeat baby steps + do 15 minutes a day decluttering in the current zone
• reinforce babysteps and do daily missions if you have finished decluttering.
• And if you are really enthusiastic and have finished decluttering - you can go on to detailed deep cleaning in each zone.

There are three key points to keep in mind throughout:

• No perfectionism allowed - this is harder than you would imagine and many of us on this thread struggle with this one!
• You are never behind - just start where you are and anything you do is progress.
• It didn't get into a mess overnight, it won't get tidy over night - accept it will take time to get on top of things and you will be happier.

If you are new; then trying to spend 15mins decluttering daily and doing the babysteps is a good way to start. Some of us (mentioning no names!) can have scary looking ‘ta-da’ lists but don't let that worry you! Do what you can, anything is better than nothing, and don't judge yourself against others.

If all else fails, a + the power of three technique + a bit of support on here can work wonders!

Here's the launch pad for more experienced fledglings.

Don’t let it put you off if we appear a bit cliquey, we really aren’t! Some of us have been on here for years – but all lurkers, intermittent returnees, oldies and newcomers very, very welcome

Planner is printed and ready to be taken to be bound tomo
finish one of a pair of knitting.
Ended up with two lots of bread through the bread machine but the 2nd one needed rescuing as it was too wet. Not sure what happened as it was the same oat based recipe i normally use

With ds being away I can have a lie in (if i actually manage to sleep) still very wibbly about it all atm. :(

Got a whole heap of errands to run tomo and a pile of unfinished projects I want to get done. So I guess a list and then some rubbish tv and hopefully sleep

Morning all,

Sorry you are feeling wibbly DEM, when is DS due back?

I'm feeling wibbly too, the DCs are really grinding me down at the moment, I don't think they are any worse than usual but I've got so much else going on that every day seems to bring some sort of "straw that almost breaks the camels back". Have had a row with DD this morning about something she just had to do this morning, she had valid reasons for not wanting to, but not doing it simply wasn't an option. Also more problems being ready on time, she is totally oblivious to time, never knows what time it is, no feel it at all. She can only partially tell the time, but I don't think that's totally it, she just has no awareness of it at all, won't wear a watch, never asks what time it is. I need to work on this with her more, clearly. We get up an hour earlier today for breakfast club and she had absolutely no idea that we were up early till I was trying to get her out the door. Unlike DS who is an immaculate timekeeper.

Anyway, need to make packed lunch and get to work. Also going to run the vac round

I know how you feel, WhoKnows - DD1's stubbornness is really getting me down atm too. We also had a row this morning as we were all planning to go swimming, but she absolutely refused to come. So DH has taken DD2 and DS out, and I've stayed at home. It's probably not a bad thing in some ways as I have a deadline this afternoon (it's a bank holiday here, but not in the area of Germany where my customer is) but it was so frustrating; we told her she didn't need to go in the water (I'm not a huge fan of swimming either and usually just sit and read my book) but she refused point blank. Anyway, hopefully I'll have finished my work by the time they get back and we can have an afternoon out instead.

Hope you're also feeling less wibbly soon, DEM.

Morning all!

Whoknows I know this probably isn't much help but I think a genuine (or non-genuine sometimes in dd's case!!-) miscomprehension of timings and constantly under-assessing how long it takes to complete tasks, and generally not taking responsibility for getting something done on time or doing things in advance (yes, can you tell we have this issue in our household!!) is very common among dcs and totally normal. (Particularly among 'dreamers'!)

(I still get it wrong as an adult and can be a hopeless procrastinator over certain tasks so I'm even more frustrated because I conscience that it is such an important skill to learn!) So I think it is fairly standard behaviour, albeit I know, horribly frustrating for us adults, especially when we are busy and have deadlines and are in "objective focused" mode, so you have my sympathies.

And dc totally do not 'get' the knock-on effects of losing time in one area, impacting on another, even when that is to their detriment. It drives me nuts!!! But I know it shouldn't whehn they just can't comprehend the overall picture .

One issue in our household is that dd over and over again underestimates the amount of time it takes to fit teeth and hair brushing in to her morning routine. Is this because it is convenient to do so? Or does she genuinely forget? (Probably the former at the age of 11 yrs I'm afraid!!)

And Linzer I can really, really sympathise with the stubborness too. Dh and I can talk to dd until we are blue in the face about why doing something a certain way (or delaying or not doing something!) is really not a good idea, but until she has actually experienced the consequences herself, she won't believe us. She just has to do it her way first!

Btw, have just re-read the bit about your dd1 starting to find the injections painful (poor thing, it must be awful for her, and she has been so brave) so I hope she can have a pump fitted soon.

DEM well done for finishing the planner; bet your dd is having a good time! And that you can enjoy your child-free time alone without worrying too much!

Waves to Grey and her which I failed to spot yesterday had gone awol off to the lonely mountain . Maybe he's mourning the loss of his pink feather boa?

Bit of an odd day here, public holiday so everywhere is shut (just when you have time to actually go shopping as a family!) but like you Linzer clients aren't on holiday so dh working most of the day and I need to get a few hrs in too ... . And I need to go and 'persuade' dd out of the bunker she has created for herself complete with furry friend, loom bands, waffles and Disney Channel and persuade her to do some revision! I know I'm horribly old-fashioned but it was bordering on sinful when I was a child to have the telly on before the 6pm news, especially when the sun was shining outside!!

Big wing flaps to eveyrone!

Hi all

Today is proceeding much as every day for the past few weeks - get up, get DD2 to school, retreat to the caravan with my books, paper and laptop and slave over the dissertation until it is time to collect DD2 from school again. After a short time spent with her, it will be time to take DD1 to the stables, watch and help her ride/lunge or whatever, get home, make/have dinner, put DD2 to bed, go to bed myself. Ad nauseam. No wonder I've had nothing to say here.No flying going on at all. (sigh)

I have the planner. Bound and already started to put in the info for June and onwards. yes it really is the little things

I seem to have dropped off the thread for a couple of days again, just looked back and I last posted on Monday lunch time before having a snooze for most of the afternoon

I've been trying to work out why I'm not posting at the moment and it suddenly dawned on me that it's probably because I'm not doing any flying

I did type up the list of the bathroom missions for the week last night and I plan to print it out in the hope that I might do something this week.

Suddenly at the weekend I seem to change overnight from being pregnant but it not really affecting me that much (some denial there probably) to a point where I seemed to officially be heavily pregnant, tired all the time and unable to do anything. Weird the way it seemed to come out of nowhere just after DP got home.

I did do a bit of DIY yesterday but I did nothing Mon and Tues and today all I've managed to do is a bit of food shopping for tea and make a Tarte au Citron for lunch that I'm having with a couple of friends tomorrow.

I'm now on the sofa feeling exhausted (having done very little) waiting for DP to get in from work so we can have tea. Feels like me and Meerkitten are sharing one battery for energy and she isn't letting me have any access to the energy source at all! Hopefully it isn't too much of a sign of things to come that she is calling all the shots and ruling the roost already!

My fecking laptop is dying in the most theatrical and drawn out charade imaginable. Thoroughly hacked off with it. Grrrr.

Thank you for the words of wisdom re DD this morning. SC, it's a case of opposites in our house, DS and I are acutely aware of the passage of time, always know what time it is, never late etc. DH and DD are just not. So maybe my expectations are too high. It's the how long it takes to do teeth and hair thing for us too, DD does her own hair and it gets very tangly.

Anyway, a better day today, probably because the DCs didn't set eyes on each other from the start of school onwards, DD went to a friend's house after school and straight onto drama group, then DS was at Scouts when she got back and she was in bed when he got back. I went to town with DS after school for a post SATS celebratory ice cream and to choose pizza for tea, which was nice.

Not so nice was dropping a full bottle of beer onto the big toe joint of my bare left foot a bit later. It's not too bad, but I am hobbling a bit.

Not much Flying as I was at work during school hours, tomorrow is a day off so hoping to get the house straight for the weekend. But I must prioritise my OU assignment, last one for this course and it's deadline day next week.

grey do shout if the computer throws a complete strop and you need some help with the links. Computer problems can be ridiculously frustrating. Hope you manage to get it fixed easily.

Another disastrous morning . I am rubbish at this parenting sometimes. Deodorant problems today, DD has to wear it but despite me reminding her twice before she got dressed, when I asked her again afterwards it was "no, but I need to go downstairs and do my hair, I'll come back up and do it after", to which my response was "why not do it now so you don't have to come back up? which got an angry "No!" and marching off down the stairs and end up in another shouting match. I can't let her not wear it, she gets seriously whiffy in warm weather. It's sp bloody annoying.

Sympathies Whoknows It's blindlingly obvious from your posts on here that you are an extremely good parent!

If it's any consolation I (genuinely) regularly feel rubbish at it though

DD and I have very similar and seemingly constant arguments over showering, deodorant, teeth and hair brushing, ad infinitum, ad nauseam. One of the big bugbears is her getting dressed in 'Sunday best' for church (actually not that formal but not jeans and not uniform) without actually washing first!) Every ... single ... Sunday.... aaargggghhh!!

Actually managed to get around this yesterday (for Ascension) without any amateur dramatics when I found myself wafting a piece of cold pizza in front of her nose and then leading her by it on a plate up the stairs as a bit of a joke!! She loved it and was laughing but surely this shouldn't be necessary every time? I know I washed regularly as a child out of a real fear that I would get told off/punished if I didn't. I was too scared not to do so. Obviously don't want to go back to that, but there must be a happy medium .

Dd is crying over-dramatically on the sofa right now because I had the temerity to suggest (very gently) that it might be a good idea to do hwk first, then watch telly. Something that has been discussed and agreed upon a thousand times. She's had a very long lie in already this morning. And we'd agreed that this long four-day "weekend" would be spent doing chores (me) and hwk for her (but only 2 x 30 mins every morning) and then going off and either doing long doggy country walks and/or doing something fun each afternoon. Her exams are in 3 weeks fhs!

(As you may remember, the last long weekend was a bit of a disaster because she procrastinated until the last minute and we were all stressed all holiday because she'd saved up all the work up until the last minute etc and concealed a lot of what she had had to do.)

I'm really sympathetic to all the exam stress and I really really want her to have fun too but by the time we have the hwk done, there is no time left! So really wanted us to have a lovely mix of work and play this time with the work spread over small manageable chunks. Oh why oh why is she so resistant to this???

And added to that, just when dh stopped work yesterday and came home, he was called back to the office and had to call his team back in (who should have been on holiday too). He is back in the office today too.

There, I think I have had my full whinge quotient for the day Actually no, I can add just one more I did another downstairs home bleugh this morning and the house is so old and battered and shabby that it still looks grubby having been given a full clean

Sorry everyone!! It's obviously a whinge-fest-r-us day today !!

Lovely sunny day apart from all of the above!! And dh and I are meant to be going out for supper tonight too so not all doom by any means!

Dogsbum good to hear you are taking it very easy; sounds as if you have reached the stage where rest is the priority which is good!! Hope I'm not putting you off this parenting lark by all my constant whinging btw

Whoknows ouch re beer bottle injury and good luck with OU work!

Yes Greymalkin don't worry, one of us will dive in and help with links if your computer expires!

'Ark at you and your swanky planner DEM V. v. organised!

Bless did you get a further extension wrt your dissertation in the end? I know it must be very hard graft but I love the idea of having a caravan to go off and work in! V. difficult to combine it all with horse and child care though I imagine.

Big waves to Linzer Swan Toffee Shannara Seaside Blackhills Madwoman Blue Engels Castle Honu Feetheart Pushme and everyone else I've missed!!

Ta da:
Morning routines including animals, wm, dw, s&s, dining room table hot spots
Full home bleugh downstairs
Hang up grey uniform + wool wash to dry on terrace
Dog walking

To do:
boudoir, boudoir, boudoir

Have a good afternoon everyone!

Organised?! Hahahahahah nope.
Went to pay car tax without the pieces of paper needed, and when realised forgotten them suddenly remember that the MOT is also due. Need to find bits of paper and check all days. I know both passport and drivers license are up for renewal next year. Goodness knows what else

Links for tomorrow, Saturday 16th May

Link to the flight plan for an overall summary

Tomorrow’s baby step is Read a testimonial from the flylady website Only click this link if you are prepared for more twee and barf-tastic tripe from the fat-fairy...

The Daily focus for Saturday is Family Fun Day

Our habit of the month is Moving More

This week we are in Zone 3: The Bathroom and one other room. Declutter in here for 15 minutes each day.

There are no missions on the weekend

The detailed cleaning list for this zone is Zone 3: here for the more experienced Fledglings

Launch pad is here and is full of all the info you need each day, well worth a look.

So sorry everyone, I've been absolutely rubbish with the social side of the thread these last few days.

I have my second interview tomorrow for the continuation of my training. And I'm bricking it. I might bring with me to scare the sh1t out of the assessor....

Don't worry Grey, it's hard enough doing the links let alone chatting and you're doing a great job with those, when I'm in charge all I post is babystep, mission and daily focus. Good luck tomorrow, what sort of training is it, if that's not too nosy?

SC, thank you for your kind words, I guess this is all pretty normal stuff (RL friends concurred today over coffee too). Sorry you too are having the arguments about essential day to day stuff. The rest of the day went very well and DD and I did talk things over. I've told her she must tell me not to shout if I do, DS pulls me up for interrupting and that is effective at stopping me in my tracks. We also discussed using a timer to help with the morning routine.

DEM - the fact that you know passport and driving licence expire next year is evidence that you aren't as disorganised as you might feel!

Bugger all Flying done today but quite a bit of essay writing achieved and in good news my toe made a complete recovery overnight. Must have been the homeopathic arnica I've been necking down even though the scientific part of me thinks homeopathy is nonsense

I only know because I had to check the categories I can drive and need my passport next week for a trip. Had a meeting about the trip tonight. I think it was supposed to make me feel calm and knowledgeable about the trip. Instead I no longer want to go and am dreading it. It will be a huge experience for ds but yeah I am feeling more wibbly tonight than i was on wed. It feels like I am wading through mud in my own personal living nightmare atm. Utterly exhausted physically and mentally. And wishing I had made different choices.

Whoknows we have had a lot of deodorant battles here. Now none of them can get enough of it - we have lynx wafting up and down the stairs and a very horrible flavour of pink spray body mist which dd thinks is delicious. At one stage in a very un Marie Kondo-ish system I had roll on deodorants in the car in the hall drawer in the kitchen drawer and in their bedrooms. It was the only way I could snaffle them if they smelt vile and were about to exit. I'm a bit like your dd though - not the deodorant I hasten to add but the wanting to finish something before I do something "more essential" that organised people would have done first. I think once you start concentrating it is quite exasperating when someone suggests you should have done things in a different order. You learn eventually.[sigh]

Two kids are at Drama this morning and third going later. I feel very very tired though - woke up too early and just cannot seem to summon the esprit to think anything through with any zest or optimism. I think if I tidy my room I might feel better (I say that all the time but it's true) The Dorian Grey of the house is my bedroom.

Dh says it is Dorian Gray.

Having uttered this he is sitting in complete silence with his leg up looking very Eeyore like I then asked him how to spell Eeyore/Eyore and he said I was the one with the degree in English Lit.

We have that system with hairbrushes, but still have times when we can't find one.

DEM - sending you a big hug, sorry to hear you are feeling so down.

Good luck with your interview today Grey and yy - you are doing a fantastic job with the links so please do not fret about round-ups/personals and definitely no need to apologise!!

Sorry you are feel so very tired Swan - do try and take some time out for yourself - although it's such a busy time of year I know that is hugely difficult (esp with 3 dc!). Arf at overwhelming wafts of Lynx!!

Sorry you are so stressed about the forthcoming trip DEM - obviously have no idea what I am talking about as usual - but hopefully reality won't be as bad as you fear (I am terrible at fearing the worst!!) Or, alternatively, if you feel so strongly that you have made the wrong choices, could you possibly undo them and change plans? "Living nightmare" does not sound good.

Well done re: the essay writing Whoknows and funnily enough, I am not a homeopathic believer either, but my late father and I had fantastic/astounding results on a horse once with a problem that had lingered forever and after treatment, disappeared in three days. (Also had same results with a (human) wart but found out afterwards that they can just disappear overnight having been there for ages!)

Well, despite encouragements, semi-bribes, kindness, understanding, patience, nagging, stronger nagging, exasperation on my part and then even stronger nagging, dd finally procrastinated her way beyond our tolerance levels this morning. And, for once, dh was there to witness her extremely antagonistic reaction when I (very calmly and reasonably - I thought anyway) suggested that she start getting down to some serious hwk. So he staged an 'intervention' and removed all screens/Ipods everything until she has done it. Bit irritating how she takes dh's words much more seriously than mine but I think my nagging may have become background white noise and frankly I don't care if it makes her do some work.

Please don't judge me harshly on this - but I have been tying myself up in knots worrying about how the constant tension between dd and me about hwk has been undermining our relationship which made me waver and dither about how much pressure I was putting on her and I think that made her in turn waver about whether she needed to do the work - when really I should have bitten the bullet a lot earlier and been more confident in my intentions and laid down the law more clearly. [Huge parental angst emoticon]

This doesn't mean that we are still not implementing the fun quizzes, board games and auditory learning stuff - which we are every night - there just comes a point when dd has to get her head down in a book herself and that time has come.

So wound up by the events of this morning that I have weeded an entire garden border, walked the dog (fast) and am one quarter of the way though my boudoir. As DEM said up thread, anger channelled in to Flying can work wonders!

Enjoy your weekends everyone (although where has the sun gone?)

Sun's been here today, SC, which has been lovely as we've been shivering under thick cloud for days, and the forecast says hail on Monday!!

I only seem to be able to get house bleugh done at the weekends at the mo, so Ta Da!

2 loads of laundry done, dry and away
Grocery shopping done and put away
Planted out courgettes, squash, cucumber and tomato plants
Planted more beans
DH mowed lawn
Tidying and weeding of garden
Dusting
Few hotspots
Rearranged games cupboard (again - result of DS1 dropping loads of games on the floor)
Hoovered throughout
Cleaned bathroom and downstairs loo
Got DS1 to practise his spellings
Bit of work

Sorry you're feeling so down, DEM, and hope others feeling better too.

Morning everyone, links for today, Sunday 17th May:

Link to the flight plan for an overall summary

Today's baby step is Go to bed at a decent time Another good one to stick to.

The Daily focus for Sunday is Renew Your Spirit Day

Our habit of the month is Moving More

This week we have moved to Zone 4: The Boudoir aka the Master Bedroom. Declutter in here for 15 minutes each day.

There are no missions on the weekend.

The detailed cleaning list for this zone is here for the more experienced Fledglings

Launch pad is here and is full of all the info you need each day, well worth a look.

All-righty, I have caught up on the thread!

My laptop is old and cranky and cannot possibly rush any task at all, so as long as I am super patient and allow half an hour for power-up and link posting, I'm ok...

DEM sorry to hear you have been feeling wibbly without your DS; are you feeling any more settled? That is quite some planner - is this the control journal to usurp the fat fairy herself?!?!

Linzer how are your DCs doing now? Your DDs diabetes is going to be a huge upheaval for the whole family. One of my friends has T1D and has a pump which she says is absolutely fantastic, but before getting it, she had to go through all kinds of assessments and approval meetings.

WhoKnows Hope your OU work is still going well. Ouch for your poor toe! I am part way through my training for becoming a psychodynamic counsellor. I don't often tell people what I am training for as often it prompts people to tell me all the their difficulties and very personal problems. Whilst this is obviously what would happen in a therapy session, its not something I want to get into in any great depth online or even amongst friends and acquaintances. Its not ethical for a start!!

SC - you sound like you've been finding your ‘dreamer’ DD really hard work. Don't beat yourself up about it; it sounds like finding a balance is the hardest thing! Maybe your DHs intervention will give a real, immediate consequence to her procrastinating. I totally get the 'white noise' feeling about our nagging, I swear my DH and DS don't listen to a word I say...

Bless Arf at your oh-so-subtle thread re-entry!! Busy, busy time for you with the continuous loop of dissertation work and school and stable runs.

Dogs I remember when the pregnancy exhaustion took over, almost out of nowhere, and is a sign you must slow down! So on that note, do not feel bad for not doing much flying, you have other priorities.

Swan I had a bit of a giggle at your boudoir being the Dorian Gray of your house, kind of appropriate really

Blue have a for all your flying, am I right in thinking you have an allotment too? I struggle with my two flower beds and a couple of hanging baskets...

So I've not been doing much flying either, Mount Washmore is developing its own gravitational pull its become so huge. But thank heavens for my fortnightly cleaning lady, she is wonderful and has stopped my house from descending into a total pit.

Thing is, I have no excuse for not getting stuff done, other than I have lost my mojo a bit recently. Watching Downton Abbey box sets and reading Wuthering Heights on my kindle just seem so much more important....

came back from the Lonely Mountain with a treasure hoard that he is most jealously guarding and is cluttering the house

My interview yesterday was hard, really really difficult, and I have no way of knowing how it went. I will get a written assessment of how I did in about four or five weeks. Then there is another, final interview around the end of June. I'm feeling a bit battered from it to be honest and jut want to wallow in self pity, even when I don't actually know that it was that bad.

I did get to archery on Friday night though which was great fun, mostly catching up with friends, rather than much shooting. I haven't been able to shoot for so long that my bow is too powerful for me to draw properly. Hopefully I'll be able to sneak off on the days DS is at nursery to get some extra practice in.

So today, I am meeting up with a friend and then planting three climbing roses and a bunch of bulbs in the garden with DH this afternoon.

Thank you DEM and SC for offering help with the links. I should be ok with it, just need to pander to the whims of my cranky laptop.

Thank you for a great round-up Grey and your training sounds vv interesting btw. No wonder you were nervous - presumably you were being interviewed by practitioners themselves - used to reading cues and body language and picking up on tiny nuances etc etc - nerve wracking indeed but bet you did brilliantly! And great that you get assessed afterwards (although nerve wracking again) because I imagine that sort of feedback will be really really useful in your line of work. Good luck!!

[Welcomes back with very long string of chipolatas ...]

Congrats on your very long list of things achieved Blue particularly envious of your veg planting!!

Much better mood here today as dd is cracking on with hwk already (whey hey!!) and much helped by the fact that ... drum roll .... an M&S has re-opened here after a gap of a few years!! Bit of a bun struggle yesterday (literally ) but came back armed with mini pork pies and English mustard and dd bought "English jelly with fruit" and much fun was had by all!

Enjoy your Sundays everyone!