Fledglings flutter round the May Pole – FlyLady May 2015

[Greymalkin]

First of all, a big thank you to Dogsbum for leading us (for the very first time) through the April thread; fantastic job!

If you are struggling with C.H.A.O.S. (Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome) and S.T.U.F.F. (Something That Undermines Family Fun) then this is the thread where we (loosely) follow the step-by-step Flylady housekeeping system (in our own, unique, relaxed style) with lots of chat, support and chat along the way.

The FlyLady link is here Don't be put off by the barf-tastic language of the site - the underlying system is sound!

This little-and-often system is designed so that you can follow a series of steps and routines each day (which gradually become second nature) in zones of the house which are designated weekly; defining and minimising housework - which in theory should leave you with loads more time to do something more interesting instead!

At the same time it is intended to reduce that panicky "rabbit in headlights" feeling when you are overwhelmed and everything needs doing all at once. No problem if you miss a day or two; just jump right back in and it will all come around next month again!

It's up to you, but we advise not signing up to receive the Flylady e-mails as you will be inundated! All the information you need will be linked here on a daily basis.

From the first of the month, we will be following Flylady's steps and routines using a three-pronged approach (dependent on the stage everyone is at):

• start or repeat baby steps
• repeat baby steps + do 15 minutes a day decluttering in the current zone
• reinforce babysteps and do daily missions if you have finished decluttering.
• And if you are really enthusiastic and have finished decluttering - you can go on to detailed deep cleaning in each zone.

There are three key points to keep in mind throughout:

• No perfectionism allowed - this is harder than you would imagine and many of us on this thread struggle with this one!
• You are never behind - just start where you are and anything you do is progress.
• It didn't get into a mess overnight, it won't get tidy over night - accept it will take time to get on top of things and you will be happier.

If you are new; then trying to spend 15mins decluttering daily and doing the babysteps is a good way to start. Some of us (mentioning no names!) can have scary looking ‘ta-da’ lists but don't let that worry you! Do what you can, anything is better than nothing, and don't judge yourself against others.

If all else fails, a + the power of three technique + a bit of support on here can work wonders!

Here's the launch pad for more experienced fledglings.

Don’t let it put you off if we appear a bit cliquey, we really aren’t! Some of us have been on here for years – but all lurkers, intermittent returnees, oldies and newcomers very, very welcome

Hi all

[stokes s fire and adds more kindling]

Dogsbum Really brilliant news that everything went so well with Mole Man btw! You must be so relieved at best poss outcome!

Pencil cases, cosmetic bags and drawstring laundry/gym bags are always good projects to start with (setting in zips, poss applique and embroidery, poss linings, sewing casings etc). I'm teaching dd to sew working my way through this 1971 book (which can be found second hand on Amazon) called My Learn To Sew Book by Janet Barber (Author). It's good because by the end of it you have learnt all the basic sewing techniques project by project, without really realising it! However, very old fashioned and aimed at 10 yr olds so perhaps something like this blog and this one and others such as this one would be more helpful? Loads of really fantastic sewing blogs about atm and really, really good free patterns available. And Youtube is absolutely fantastic for learning new techniques. Great that you have good service back-up for your Janome btw; only two shops in the entire city here that fixes sewing machines, and they take weeks and weeks and weeks to do so. Hope you enjoy your new machine! I think Janomes are brill; the technology is amazing nowadays!!

Hope you enjoy your sewing too Swan fabric sounds lovely!

Thanks for links and well done re: dining room decluttering Greymalkin (and don't worry - will remain on 'standby' in case of continuing computer issues!)

Shannara/Whoknows/Madwoman so sorry to hear about all the exam stress that yr 6 dc are undergoing currently. It's so tough nowadays.

Shannara congratulation on weight loss I am failing miserably on the diet front as ever

Whoknows impressed by your 15 min 'sweep' of entire downstairs!!!

Madwoman wow, 10-hr working day followed by dance comp followed by cooking from scratch = v. hard core! Hats off to you!

Good to hear your dm has got good support at home Toffee

Lovely to see you Castle and great you are feeling so energetic and ready to go out and about!

And oh dear to DEM and Madwoman re: wet bedding. Enjoy blowing up stuff DEM

Have let dd completely chill for two days (Thurs and Fri = school hol) and she has been immersed in loom bands/baking/dog walking/computer games and we've had nice times together watching films and playing board games. Did proffer gentle reminder on Fri about pile of hwk and exam revision that is waiting on desk and suggested that it would be good to space the work over a few days (this advice has been thoroughly ignored of course). No study at all is being slotted in between the computer games and loom band creation sessions[Sigh] I hate having to nag but am going to have to intervene now before we run out of weekend altogether.

How does one handle an over-sensitive child who takes any sort of nagging/crticism very personally who at same time needs large bomb behind her? If anyone has any tips I'd be grateful... .

(For those who don't know - although I've been wittering on about it for months now I'm afraid - should have added that dd has end-of-yr-6 obligatory state exams looming that determine whether she can proceed to secondary school or not). So all a bit tense ... .

It hasn't quite "twigged" yet that she is in charge of her own destiny ifyswim. ( She can be very focused at times, but mostly we are still at pre-teen dreamy cloud being-swept-along-like-leaf-in-stream-stage God Bless Her ).

I don't know what to do because even quite gentle attempts to chivvy her along are taken as deep insults somehow ... .

SC I feel your pain - it's a constant topic of discussion between DH and me (DH, having been through the system here, is a lot stricter than I am; I take more of a laissez-faire approach, which is fine for some DC but not all). What works for us is: a) banning TV/computer games etc. until a certain amount of revision has been done, and b) giving DD a specific time at which she needs to sit down and revise (she's usually much more co-operative than if she's told she needs to do it straight away).

WhoKnows Yes, the training we received at the hospital covered sport/exercise; we were told she needs to make sure it's slightly higher before PE lessons and I've noticed that even if she just does slightly more walking than usual, her blood sugar level drops.

DD2 is at a birthday party this afternoon (llama trekking, in the rain unfortunately - typical bank holiday weekend weather!) and DH has taken DD1 and DS to a model railway exhibition; I've decided to stay at home and do something about the state of the house, which has been sadly neglected over the past few weeks. Just having a first and trying to work up the energy!

SC could you find some fun online resources that help her to revise without her realising it. I have just found a load of lego resources that are teaching aids. Ds will be doing them later and thus learning stuff without realising it. A lot of it is computer based which appeals to his tecky side.

sc what happens if she doesn't pass?
Just boiling the kettle for cup of tea number 2, then will be ready to face the day (no, I am not dressed to shoes).
To Do
Clear surfaces in kitchen, wipe down
Collect laundry in basement
Deliver yellow pages

Links for tomorrow, Sunday 3rd May:

Tomorrow’s baby step is Explore the FlyLady website This is definitely worth doing, for old hands as well, there is loads of stuff on there that we don’t often link to on this thread. Can I suggest you look at the site map? Really useful.

The Daily focus for Sunday is Renew Your Spirit Day I'm planning on getting my sewing machine out to make me feel good!

Our habit of the month is Moving More

As far as I can tell we are still in Zone 1: The Entrance, Front Porch and Dining Room. Declutter in here for 15 minutes each day.

There are no missions on the weekend.

The detailed cleaning list for this zone is here for the more experienced Fledglings

Launch pad is here and is full of all the info you need each day, well worth a look.

Went to Zips and Buttons workshop today which was great fun, we had a real laugh as well as doing and learning lots and I've come away with a make up bag that I've made which should be a nice simple pattern to repeat to practise my skills. That was all day so haven't done much else but feel like I've had a really enjoyable day.

Thank you so much Grey and Steady for sending me links to other easy patterns and tips to get me started, much appreciated. Looking forward to getting down to making some easy practise projects and that should also keep me safely busy compared to DIY so that should keep DP happy.

Yes Steady I'm very pleased with Mole Man outcome, couldn't have gone better really (short of it dropping off in the drs surgery of course )

By the way, having just read the loving movement link for the first time does anyone know what our 'frannies' are?

Anyway, feeling pretty tired now so will curl up in front of tv for a bit before heading to bed

SC Is there anything in here that would help? I haven't read it, so can't vouch for it! Can't remember if there's anything in the Spirited Child book either.

Today, a lot of gardening has been done. Tomorrow, it's forecast to rain all day, so hopefully the inside of the house will get done too.

Have also been work-wrangling. Ought to be putting an aggravation surcharge on this job!

3 days, 5 books. that is all. poor ds was most surprised at the speed of progress he threatened to limit my access to the books

SC - I remember re-reading the entire 'Anne of Green Gables' series in an attempt to avoid revising for my O'levels, so I understand your DD's procrastination. Good luck with it all. I agree with using online resources and as many different ways of revision as possible - mnemonics, mind maps, doodles, listening to stuff on CD as she's falling asleep, etc. The key to it all, though, is helping her to find the motivation. What do you think would motivate her? Just the realisation that she could fail might be enough. (Although you don't want her paralysed with fear either).

Have spent the morning helping DS2 build another model house. We now have a stone cottage, post office and pub . Off to enjoy a late bath now.

Good morning!

Thanks for links Greymalkin! (and the accompanying sustenance!!)

Dogsbum really don't like to enquire too closely about "frannies" but think it just means getting our bums off sofas sort of thing!! Good to hear you have another fun sewing session!

Thank you so much Blue Linzer and DEM for your very helpful ideas (very touched by your suggestions) regarding dd and hwk. (She has settled down to it today straightaway but we could have both done without yesterday's dramas - include my own behaviour in that btw.)

DEM yes, she does have access to an official site where 100 of the up and coming exam questions are stored on-line; so she works through some of them alone, and I do some of them with her. It is a fun way to work but I think it might be harder to retain correct information with this method (multi-choice) on-line, as the dc tend to work through it so quickly. Apart from that though, the teaching methods are about 30 yrs behind here (ie dry as dust) so there aren't lots of other 'fun' resources available that fit the exam syllabus/curriculum.

Thank you for those tips Linzer we have banned computer time before hwk (but wires got crossed because of the long holiday weekend and I wasn't on top of it as I should have been and we weren't clear enough about schedule -which was absolutely my mistake). I shall try the 'time by which you have to have started' tactic as I can see that working.

(I am very jealous of your dd2 and her llama trekking party btw - I absolutely adore llamas!!)

Blue thank you for that link! I think she is nearer to child 2 than any of the others (with a bit of child 1 thrown in) but either way worth looking at whole website and revisiting 'spirited child' book again but the real value of it is reassessing entirely how we (I!) am approaching this (current approach definitely not working!) with regard to dd's individual work patterns/style. And NOT losing my temper as I get far too impatient when the same behavour repeats itself again and again and then we both get locked in to negative spiral. And what child wants to do hwk when the entire issue creates negativity? We both apologised to one another last night and I hope we can have a more positive start now; I think the stress has been getting to both of us a bit too much and I need to be protectecting her from it, not excacerbating it.

Hope you can wrangle work issues in your favour!!

Madwoman if she doesn't pass then she doesn't go on to secondary school in general and her/our first choice of secondary school (with her two best friends) in particular. She would have to either repeat the last year of primary school (don't think that would go down too well as she finds it very dull and boring now as they have been studying the same curriculum endlessly for over four years now) or she would have to attend a separate 'school for failures' (as they put it so charmingly here) again, not something I would want her to do.

You would think all of the above would be a motivating factor but it doesn't work like this with dd. She is a bit dreamy and doesn't connect x with y. And although she is aware of the consequences of failure we don't want to rub it in too much because she is already very anxious about exams etc.

Speaking of all above, need to get back to hwk supervision and healthy snack preparation!

HAve a good Sunday everyone!

x posts Toffee

Snap! We have just almost written the same thing (about motivation and not paralysing her with fear)!!

Thanks for the tips - yes - I think 'mixing it up' is a really good strategy. Think that will help her to really "own'" the facts and figures without getting too bored.

And just a general apology and thank you to everyone for all your help with dd on here. I am sorry, I know it is very pfb of me to keep wittering on about all of these issues when most of you have many more dc and sn issues to contend with too. It's just quite difficult when you are dealing with a different culture/ two different langs and it's been really helpful to 'vent' (although I am aware I am doing it a bit too much!!) Don't think I am a good "natural" parent!

SC no one is a good natural parent they don't exist. But there is suc thing as a parent who does everything they can for the best of their child. Most fall into that category. There is no right or wrong answer in this, don't fool yourself there is.
As for the resources, I had a feeling that you were going to say that. What about mixing it up with UK styles of revision. Make questions for a board game (if you have trival persuit that would work) Change the topics to the topics she has to learn. Play as normal but asking different questions. there are also some power point things (will see if i can find the links from my teaching days). You alter the question for stuff that dd has to learn. Might just make it more appealling but not necessarily the answer for this set of exams I suspect due to needing some prep time.

Yes that is fantastic suggestion DEM about board game but as you say, we are a bit up against it in terms of prep time but I'm sure I can do a bit towards it.

One of the problems is that I could make an entire board game representing, for example, roman civilisation and then in this year's particular exam, only stuff about the vikings comes up!! But that is not to say it's not worth having a crack at it!! Definitely need a bit of variety and a bit of pepping up.

And as for natural parenting, thanks - I agree that it is definitely about a certain determination to do one's best and go the extra mile when necessary - but at the same time, I dunno, there do seem to be some 'natural parents' who just twig what is going on with their dc and are able to handle the issues really instinctively well ifyswim. (I suspect these people have had very good instinctive parents themselves.)

Having said that though, I do have some friends who never say a word about their dc's issues, and so you assume everything is hunky dory and they have everything under control, and then it transpires later that there were in fact quite a lot of issues and there were in fact just muddling along like the rest of us, even though they definitely did not give that impression at the time!

Thanks again!

[Off to find ways in which to make Greek civilisation interesting to dd ... ]]

Percy Jackson is your friend here!!!!! Seriously.
As for board games you need something that is generic and thus you just alter the questions. (hence trival persuit) you just have to make new flash cards with questions on for each set of exams.

As for greeks what about an version of blockbusters - a board with the letters of the answer and a question? I will have a quick hunt. But that sort of format means that you can reward a session of revision with the correct answer with a short 10mins thing of fun fairly easily. Plus is quick to see the results, and you make the questions easy (such as name the monster with a head full of snakes) or harder (such as which army did the greeks battle in x) sorry my knowledge of this is rubbish will hunt that template out for you now.

Then you have the if x is the answer what is the question. (this needs less prep and lateral thinking by testee - you just need the books in front of you and language skills to work in the languages she is taking the test in)

Now if anyone knows how to teach a 10yo to have an inner monologue I wil be very grateful!!!

SC - please don't apologise. I don't think you're being fair on yourself to assume that other people have it harder. Actually, I would be in a right state if either of my DC were facing the test your DD is.

Do you know what kind of learner your DD is? I have just had a go at this test and it got it right for me - maybe you could try it on DD and then help her use the right way of learning for her? It would avoid her wasting time trying to learn using methods that don't suit her. For instance, I know that I'm a visual learner, so I need to write things down, draw pictures and so on in order to learn. And I used to use lots of mnemonics to learn stuff for school tests - the sillier (or ruder) the better.

And I love DEM 's ideas for board games .

Am trying to sort out two boxes of home-ed materials into some sort of order this afternoon. Also want to sort out some kind of lesson plan for DS2 for next week. The new school want us to focus on his handwriting and Maths before he starts in September. I'm looking for a Maths tutor (which I know I should have done before, Honu) and school are going to give me some stuff to work through with him, as well as access to MyMaths.

DEM - DS2 also has no idea how to do an inner monologue. I sometimes have to tell him to "keep his thoughts inside" because of his non-stop chat.

My three went through an obsession with Percy Jackson - they would make up quizzes and test each other's Greek god knowledge for fun. Weirdos. They are randomly competitive over the most bizarre things. One time dd1 cried for an hour because her little brother knew how to spell broccoli and she didn't. (I'm actually not convinced that the iPad knows how to spell it, but essentially it took an hour to convince her that actually, I wasn't sure either...)

School for failures. Mm. Testing in a second language has to be very hard, regardless of your comfort levels with the same. making it fun and relaxing and trying to remove the pressure are pretty much your only options. Glad it's going better today x

No natural parenting here. I am a natural shouter, and in calmer moments the dc like to bring up 'when mummy lost her mind and... ' and laugh about it. I do minimise the screaming like a banshee, but every now and again I fit in a quick ten minute full volume rant. Usually in the car when we are late for something because of dawdling, forgetfulness or sheer bloodymindedness and refusal to move. The kids deal with it differently - dd1 has successfully adapted and now stands by the door twenty minutes early asking 'can we go now? Can we go now?' Ds1 goes absolutely silent and grits his teeth. And dd2 apologises non-stop, which makes me uber -guilty and move into the 'I'm sorry I lost my temper' phase...

To do
Dw
Wmx5
Ironing
Dd1 - ride to library
Dd2 - ride to, erm, riding
Ds1 - supervise hw. His teacher and I discussed the likelihood of him completing this assignment at the parent teacher meeting last week. Neither of us could decide the odds, but they aren't great. I have higher hopes as it is a practical and fun task (build a Rube Goldberg machine). Maybe about the same odds of completion as the new princess baba being christened Eleanor. Not super-likely, but plausible.
Walk dogs
Bath dogs

No dance comp today. Yesterday gold and second place, so she was happy. More tomorrow and then nothing until next Saturday. However, she wants to go and watch everyone else this afternoon. I am not keen. It's expensive and it's an hour round trip for both drop off and pick up, and omg it's Sunday. Don't make me do unnecessary stuff! But now I have to get her out of bed so she can meet her friend at the library to study...

We didn't get external monologue until we medicated ds1... The paed explained that sometimes, the meds caused the brain activity to slow down enough, such that the kid could actually articulate what was going on in his head, instead of essentially behind locked in to internal monologue that was just a whirling tornado of thoughts, logic, consequences for fifteen choices of different actions, things still in progress from yesterday, tomorrow, a week ago, last Easter. Essentially just so much speed of information that it rendered the kid mute. The day we started the meds, dh collected him from dance and told me he had talked non-stop all the way home. I dread to think what the heck was going on in his head before!

Every waking minute toffee every waking minute. It is driving me potty. 99% is utter rubbish, just noise not even coherant thoughts and he doesn't respond to requests to stop

ta da
stuff

to do
more stuff

oooo I like the look of these game templates

[Fresh from Googling Percy Jackson]

Thank you -again - everyone!! Really really, really kind of you!!

DEM thank you, that is a truly genius idea about the 'Blockbusters' format (give us a 'p' Bob ) Have already started on answer boards ... and Trivial Pursuit idea good too (will make some flash cards tonight/tomorrow).

Wish I could help re: inner monologue in return but have no clue I'm afraid!!

Thanks for reassurance Toffee much appreciated; and dd and I have done the test (fascinating questions btw) and she is definitely an auditory learner so we are going to record things on her Ipod and listen to them back and it will fit in with 'out loud' board game format above! Thanks, that is really helpful! Good luck with materials sorting and lesson planning!

Madwoman over broccoli spelling competitiveness and glad I am not the only intermittent full-volume banshee around!! Thanks for the encouragement. Sadly it is testing in two languages other than Eng; which is pretty fraught but YY about removing the pressure and making it fun; absolutely must MUST do this!!! (And sounds like you have a very good rapport with your ds1's teacher!) And huge congrats to your dd1 wrt her dancing successes yesterday!! Brilliant stuff!! (Sympathies though over going back later to watch everyone else - we've just started that - tis rather a pita!!) Goodness knows how you pack it all in!

[Off to Google Rube Goldberg]

Thank you again everyone. You should all do this professionally, you really should!

oooohh at the templates DEM

[Off to tackle La Grece Antique again]