Fledglings flutter round the May Pole – FlyLady May 2015

[Greymalkin]

First of all, a big thank you to Dogsbum for leading us (for the very first time) through the April thread; fantastic job!

If you are struggling with C.H.A.O.S. (Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome) and S.T.U.F.F. (Something That Undermines Family Fun) then this is the thread where we (loosely) follow the step-by-step Flylady housekeeping system (in our own, unique, relaxed style) with lots of chat, support and chat along the way.

The FlyLady link is here Don't be put off by the barf-tastic language of the site - the underlying system is sound!

This little-and-often system is designed so that you can follow a series of steps and routines each day (which gradually become second nature) in zones of the house which are designated weekly; defining and minimising housework - which in theory should leave you with loads more time to do something more interesting instead!

At the same time it is intended to reduce that panicky "rabbit in headlights" feeling when you are overwhelmed and everything needs doing all at once. No problem if you miss a day or two; just jump right back in and it will all come around next month again!

It's up to you, but we advise not signing up to receive the Flylady e-mails as you will be inundated! All the information you need will be linked here on a daily basis.

From the first of the month, we will be following Flylady's steps and routines using a three-pronged approach (dependent on the stage everyone is at):

• start or repeat baby steps
• repeat baby steps + do 15 minutes a day decluttering in the current zone
• reinforce babysteps and do daily missions if you have finished decluttering.
• And if you are really enthusiastic and have finished decluttering - you can go on to detailed deep cleaning in each zone.

There are three key points to keep in mind throughout:

• No perfectionism allowed - this is harder than you would imagine and many of us on this thread struggle with this one!
• You are never behind - just start where you are and anything you do is progress.
• It didn't get into a mess overnight, it won't get tidy over night - accept it will take time to get on top of things and you will be happier.

If you are new; then trying to spend 15mins decluttering daily and doing the babysteps is a good way to start. Some of us (mentioning no names!) can have scary looking ‘ta-da’ lists but don't let that worry you! Do what you can, anything is better than nothing, and don't judge yourself against others.

If all else fails, a + the power of three technique + a bit of support on here can work wonders!

Here's the launch pad for more experienced fledglings.

Don’t let it put you off if we appear a bit cliquey, we really aren’t! Some of us have been on here for years – but all lurkers, intermittent returnees, oldies and newcomers very, very welcome

Toffee I may have only got it muddled up once, but I tend to forget Mother's Day in the UK most years - I'm usually reminded by MN/FB, but too late to send a card. Fortunately my mum is quite understanding! Hope your DS gets on well at school today - the progress he's making is fantastic - and that you have a good time at your mum's.

Blue Saw your article in the Bulletin yesterday - I actually know (albeit only virtually) two of this month's contributors, which is quite impressive for me considering how little networking I do...

Grey Thanks for the links. We're gradually getting back to normal here, although it's a new kind of normal - and DD1 is complaining that the injections are now starting to hurt and is getting a bit fed up with them. She'd like a pump instead (which would mean no need for injections any more), so we'll have to ask about it at our next appointment.

DEM Good luck for the meeting. Definitely know what you mean about needing more hours in the day and less coffee.

madwoman Well done on the dance comps, sounds like they did really well. Hope your yellow pages plan worked!

SC Yes, I'm pretty sure we've spoken about the extended family issue before - funnily enough, I almost wrote in my last post that I can understand why Austrians never tend to move more than a few miles from their parents, but didn't as I had the feeling I might have written something very similar previously! It sounds like you have a good range of activities available; it is getting better here, but is still tricky if you want to work (and your DC object to going to tennis camps, which used to be all that was available here - there's much more going on in the capital, but it's not just practical for us) so it's easier for me to take most of the summer off. And yy to the DC needing time to recover after being driven so hard; we don't usually plan anything at all for the first week of the holidays as the DC are so exhausted by the end of the school year that we need a good week to get our energy levels back to normal.

I have just wasted a good 20 minutes cycling to the bank and back to try and get a statement, only for the machine to tell me that it's too long to print so will be posted to me. Aargh - the only reason I went to the bank was to save the few euros they charge for posting statements to us; banking here is such a rip-off. It's not enough that we're charged for having an account (can't believe some banks in the UK will pay customers to bank with them!), credit card (so we share one between us), bank/debit card, etc.; we also have to pay for the privilege of being sent statements that I don't even particularly want - but there doesn't seem to be any way of opting out or switching to online statements.

Grey/DEM Another one here with stacks of notebooks I can't quite bear to write in!! (And I have to have a large calendar which I can write on and see the whole of the year at a glance; loathe the electronic ones!!)

Happy birthday for yesterday again Blue! Glad you had a good 'un but I'd set the on to your difficult client if I were you!

Have a good trip Toffee and hope ds1 has a good day today too!

Thanks for links Grey! I think people rely on their families to child mind through the holidays (a lot of expats send their dc home to their family in their home countries for the summer). And I think the natives have quite a lot of state subsidised options but still quite a juggling act I think.

Good luck with the BIG meeting(s) DEM

Well done for all the dance comp successes in your household Madwoman (I always think the "chauffeur/attendent" ie us, should claim at least 25% of the credit!!) And good luck to your dd1 on Wed and with all the end of term recitals/performances.

Big waves to everyone else!

Ta da for yesterday:
morning routine inc feeding animals, dw, wm
washed dog bowls separately
cleaned bathroom
tidied 2nd floor
home bleugh on ground floor inlcuding thorough clean of kitchen
went around house picking up tablet and Ipod cables, hair bobbles, shoes, fleeces, jumpers, hair clips, glasses, discarded loom band wrappers etc etc and put them all away
tidied rest of house (except boudoir and home office which are truly hideous)
ironed school shirts and sports kit
carried a load of things upstairs
carried a load of things downstairs
folded huge pile white towels
dark blue wash and hung out to dry
hand washed 7 scarves and hung out to dry
met with window cleaner, showed him around house, took him to office
wrapped present and delivered down the road whilst dog walking
quick lunch with dh
ordered Confirmation presents/cards on line
ordered posh tights on line
e-mailed some friends
quick dive in to supermarket and chemist
rubbish and recycling
school run
hwk supervision: poetry and maths
persuaded dd to try on some summer clothes which had arrived by post
ballet run and tried to go to pet shop but it was closed
went to see ballet teacher and picked up t-shirts
cooked lamb chops, flageolet beans, carrots vichy, and cous cous for supper
cleared up supper

Loads to do today but will post when I've done!

Have a productive day everyone!

x post

Big waves to Linzer and bad luck re: bank! Yes, the charges are astronomical! Banking technology is really really good though. Have fantastic personal card readers for making on-line purchases which is excellent in terms of security (don't know if you have these in Austria/ UK or not?) In fact banking technology and the fact that there are many more younger women in public positions are about the only two things where we are ahead of UK! The rest is about 30 yrs behind!

SC I have a card reader for my UK bank account, but for banking transactions rather than online purchases; I've never come across them here. Banking technology not too bad otherwise (apart from insisting everyone has/pays for paper statements), but still quite a few years behind the UK - a lot of people are very wary of buying things online, online food shopping is more or less non-existent, contactless cards have only just been introduced, etc.

Otherwise, yy to virtually everything being a good 30 years behind the UK! (Apart from medical care, which is excellent.) I'm constantly muttering to DH about how I feel like I'm stuck in the 1950s, but have the feeling that's something else I may have written on the thread before.

Linzer Without getting too political, I have a suspicion that the lack of vibrancy in the retail sector (here and with you) is something to do with high taxes; people just don't have free cash in their pockets to spend. And as a progression of that why on-line shopping hasn't developed (although improving here overall, there is only one supermarket that delivers, and that is going downhill owing to lack of competition).

On the one hand I feel it is good that all the important things are covered and prioritised ie health, education, rubbish and recycling (four collections a week in 2 'sweeps') good roads and other excellent state social provision etc, but when I have my UK "materialistic" head on (and indeed from the point of view of running our own business) I feel very very frustrated indeed and exasperated by the lack of innovation and dynamism. A bit more of a balance between the two would be good!

Suspect I too may have ranted about this before too

[Perhaps I should have used the word "commercial" rather than "materialistic" there btw!!]

Hmm, that's an interesting thought SC. Not sure about people having less cash to spend here; the tax rate is high - particularly if you're at the lower end of the earnings scale like me - but I get the impression that people are generally better off and, on the whole, that there's less poverty than in the UK. Plus things like child benefit are higher - when I read the threads on here about people worrying about it being limited to two children, I realise how lucky we have it; it actually goes up if you have three DC (and again if you have five or more, I think) and you can get it until a "child" is 24 if they're in full-time education (huge protests when the age was reduced from 28!).

I must also admit to having a "materialistic" head and missing all the shops in the UK, but people here just don't seem to be quite as bothered about shopping - they do spend money, but there's very little interest in bargain-hunting, for example. Supermarkets are small with far less choice (I feel quite overwhelmed when I go to one in Britain now!). Charity shops are few and far between. I think it's just a different mentality...

Ah, some work has just arrived so everyone will be spared my further ramblings.

Yes it goes up here after three dc too. And definitely less poverty here too/less inequality but I put that down to better state provision; but could be wrong! People are definitely interested in a bargain here; very careful with their pennies (shops have a state regulated time of the year when they can go in to 'liquidaton' and sell everything off and virtually start again, but to my mind the bargains are often not very genuine as the prices were fairly extortionate in the first place!).

Agree about the mentality. I always think it quite interesting actually. People don't really tend to watch much telly, or shop, they definitely have huge numbers of sports clubs and many more local events going on.

Yes, I should exit the screen sharpish too! Good luck with the work Linzer!

SC - am armed with custard creams if we can coax out from wherever it's hiding!

Linzer - Ordnung muss sein! How can you have Ordnung if you haven't got everything on paper, in triplicate, mit Stempel?!

I need a to do list today:
Library
Make meatballs
DS1 to doctor
DS1 to Cubs
Work!

I have also logged back in to MFP for the first time in ages. I got hacked off with calorie counting, but need a kick up the bum at the moment. We'll see how long it lasts!

Contactless cards are a fecking nightmare. I have lost count of the number of friends who had their cards skimmed because of them. And because it is amounts under £10 it is harder to spot until/unless they go in for higher amounts

School meeting went well.

To do list:
huge amounts that I don't want to do

Wish list:
knitting or read book

Currently about to do:
drink coffee and spend 30 mins knitting before hitting the to do list.

Did all my Flying before we left at 11am this morning. Managed to leave the house in a relatively tidy, clean state, apart from our bedroom, which we locked so no one could see the mess. The neighbours will be wondering what we're hiding in there.

Gorgeous sunny weather here, so we are now going to the beach .

Hi all hope it's ok to post. I have found you all in desperation. This topic is not my natural home....however, I'm looking around in desperation at the state of my house.
How do you get past the "I didn't make the mess why the fuck is it my responsibility to clear it up" and "in so tired I can't be arsed" feelings?
I want the house to look nice, I want to be able to have people round with no notice but I feel resentful and cross that it's all down to me.
Please show me where to start and how to keep it up!

Hi BlackhillsofDakota and welcome!

I'm not sure I'm the best to advise on this because I regularly let "cannot be arsed (CBA)" feelings overtake me when it comes to housekeeping!!

And don't worry, like me, many of the people on this thread do not consider themselves to be natural housekeepers either!! So you have come to the right place!!

The only solution we have found so far is deluding ourselves in to starting by setting the timer for 15 mins and doing something and then, as we (very roughly) follow the Flylady system you start doing particular things on particular days in those 15 mins if that makes sense.

Ignore the barftastic language on the Flylady site, the underlying system is sound. And it does all start to make sense as you do it. I don't think many of us on here follow it to the letter but if nothing else, it helps us capitalise on "if I can't be bothered to do the prescribed thing, at least I will be doing something else instead".

NOt sure I am making sense (it has been a very long day) but welcome anyway!!

Toffee genius idea about locking the bedroom door ..[ SC fixes appointment with lock-fitter]

Glad school meeting went well DEM

Blue had formal meeting this afternoon related to dd's Confirmation and rejected 7 pairs of trousers before I found some that fitted (M &S black forgiving numbers) Feel so fat and horrible. Nearly 13 stone on very thin frame. Does not look good. So returning to MFP with you. Need to be more determined.

Cream crackered so going to bed! [Feeble waves to everyone!]

Angry tidying has been known to work. Nothing like being suitably pissed off to get stuff done. Also coffee over load cough But the fly lady system more focused on the principle that anything you get done is progress. There are challenges to get kids involved, routines can help. I have charts of the jobs for each room on the doors - it means that sometimes the menfolk of the house just sometimes remembers to do stuff around the house without having to be nagged (as long as you spot what has been done and apply liberal praise).

ta da
mountwashmore has been put through the washer
ds has been refreshed on Duvet cover putting on
labelled a mountain of clothes for school trip
got ds to pack his stuff
deal with mahoosive aspie meltdown
sort paperwork
30mins in my room
play hunt the right size bag
turn matress
put fresh bedding on my bed
sort out various birthday/congrats/good luck/new house cards
sort out med forms
file some financial paperwork i hate this job
a bit of knitting
try on a jumper dmum has been making me for my birthday and generally get stuck with needles and have a natter
try to get car booked in but got messed about by garage
some more work to sort my planner/diary out.
shopping
consider to do list for rest of week
15mins in ds' room

And now i am going to do a few more bits of paperwork and then I am hitting the knitting. Got rather a lot of projects that need finishing off. Tomo is a knitting kinda day. Mostly.

Good evening Fledglings! Here are your links for tomorrow, Wednesday 13th May:

Link to the flight plan for an overall summary

Tomorrow’s baby step is Complete one of this week’s missions

The Daily focus for Wednesday is Anti Procrastination Day roll your sleeves up and tackle one of those tasks you have been putting off!!

Our habit of the month is Moving More

This week we are in Zone 3: The Bathroom and one other room. Declutter in here for 15 minutes each day.

We have two missions: wash your bathroom mats and shower curtains; and declutter for 15 minutes around your computer / home office area Yes SC Flylady is looking at you!!!!

The detailed cleaning list for this zone is here for the more experienced Fledglings

Launch pad is here and is full of all the info you need each day, well worth a look.

Thanks for the advice it's my day off tomorrow so I'm going to read tonight and try and get organised tomorrow. I do like a good chart so maybe that's the way forward. and definitely getting the dd's involved, maybe if they have more jobs they'll care more about where they leave their shit!

Hello BlackHills, you are very welcome to the thread. There are far too many of us on here who are perfectionistic and always feel we don't do enough. That's why the flylady system of small chunks of work (i.e. what you can do in 15 minutes0 is great. So start of in this way and see how you get on!

I have done very little today - struggling with toddler DS who has all the energy and I have none. Just about managed to feed everyone, do one washload, the dishwasher and make the beds. Tomorrow is another day.

sent me a postcard - he went to visit Uncle Smaug on the Lonely Mountain...

Slinks quietly into the corner after 2 weeks off thread

Damn - making it bold by accident wasn't exactly subtle, was it?

bless

Welcome back Bless!! "That was a little bit bold" (as my Irish granny used to say! Good to have you back and definitely no need to slink!

Very busy day yesterday but mainly out of the house so not a lot of Flying done and very basic supper too.

All go this morning but just wanted to say to Blackhills¨that there are some good tips for involving the family in cleaning on this thread (but hope you will stay here!!) and I forgot to mention that we tend to do collective pet cleaning and family bed making on Saturday mornings. Also, agree with DEM that my dh tends to respond better to lists than verbal instructions!!

Congrats on your long ta da list yesterday DEM

Message received loud and clear via links Greymalkin thank you [strokes in seemingly nonchalant manner]

Safe travelling Toffee

Big waves to everyone!!

Why is it one step forwards, one step back with schools?

ta da
deliver ds to school
find one of the packets of mince defrosted yesterday had gone off
make up the mince base for some froze cottage pies
put ingredients in bread machine and set running
sort out some A5 paper for upsetting the printer shortly
sit down with a coffee

Feeling a bit wobbly about ds being away with school. Too much coffee yesterday is partly to blame, far too little sleep not helping. Ds not wanting to go didn't help either. Huge to do list to be done before the weekend and next week too. Plus i have burnout.

Sympathies DEM over wobbliness while your ds is away (I am similarly prone to gnawing my knuckles when dd travels without one of us). I'm sure he will be having a terrific time though! And it's good for you to have a break too! So try and profit from it (easier said than done though I am sure!)

Just waved our vet off who had come to give furry one his booster injection and clip the rabbits claws and check their teeth which involved complicated logistical manoeuvres so neither dog or rabbits came in to contact with one another. Vet thankfully does home visits where rabbits are concerned so as not to stress them out too much.

[Can't remember if I mentioned after first vet consultation that something had gone wrong with poor doggie's very important puppy injections and (going from scant records) not only had original vet not given him proper cover for Leptospirosis (only one out of four potential types had been covered) the owners who had him before us (or those before them) had not given him his proper booster, which had left him susceptible to infection . All sorted now thankfully (only last rabies shot to go) and rabbits in fine form too!

Ears improving as we treat weekly but sadly regular teeth brushing has made no difference to his teeth and he is going to have to have a minor op to sort them out [sad

On the positive side, the vet originally said he was a bit on the thin side when he came to us but happily now plumping out a bit and coat improving!!

Am, er, about to hide invoice from dh (and that's before I have visited chemist for yet more wormers and de-flea potions and lotions).

Hello Fledglings - here are your links for tomorrow, Thursday 14th May

Link to the flight plan for an overall summary

Tomorrow’s baby step is Learn how to use a calendar

The Daily focus for Thursday is Errand day

Our habit of the month is Moving More

This week we are in Zone 3: The Bathroom and one other room. Declutter in here for 15 minutes each day.

Our mission in this week’s zone is shining your shower or bath and then spending 15 minutes sorting out your laundry area and products

The detailed cleaning list for this zone is here for the more experienced Fledglings

Launch pad is here and is full of all the info you need each day, well worth a look.

Right, I will be back tomorrow to have a proper catch up on the thread and do personals, right now my bed is calling me.

Night y'all