Fledglings don't makes resolutions in January, they fly and chat through the babysteps.

[BitchytheGreat]

Roll up, roll up. Thread two for January is here. You chatty lot

will be back later with linkie poos and a vat of bitchy's special brew...

In the meantime spot markers will be handed a magic rubber and told to clean up after themselves...

And in the interests of non-perfectionism, Bitchy, I am moving my bleurgh back to Monday, as I have already improved things quite a lot today and can't see any dirt unless I get right up close

Blue nice boots.

Humanordancer my teacher also hated exclamation marks and brackets (probably why I use them so much!!!)

Woke up stupidly early this morning with sinuses trying to kill me plus a temperature, so have done practically nothing. GothCat can't work out what's going on, but is enjoying the extra cuddle time.

Interesting, Goth! And sinus problems are just awful

I have really just popped back to show off, shamelessly.

Ta da!

Delete ten thousand emails.

Now, to the post office!

I think I just broke my Dyson :(

Oh, Eustacia. That is very bad news.

Rant alert (nothing to do with Flying AT ALL, although there was a lot of Flying in the lead up to it )

Very, very stressful morning in the Toffee household. I was up early, cooking pancakes and getting the boys up and ready in good time. Then DS1 told me he had been sick in the bathroom and couldn't go to school. I reminded him of his recovery yesterday and how difficult it would be for us if he didn't go in today. Reminded him of the importance of facing his anxiety (as I was pretty certain this was what it was). Rushed DS2 up to school (now late - argh) and was told off by the teacher because he had missed a lesson. Arranged a meeting with her tomorrow to explain why he keeps being late.

Rushed home to find DH and DS1 back home after a round trip to the learning centre and back. DS1 had threatened to get out of the car and run away if DH didn't drive him home. DH drove him home.

Row with DH over not giving in to DS1's blackmail . Had to phone MIL to ask if she could come over early because DS1 was now going to be home alone. Had to phone learning centre to explain that DS1 wasn't coming in.

And, thanks to all that, we had to leave late and were late for our meeting. I really thought I might explode with stress and anger in the car. There were so many people affected by DS1's actions.

And what made me even more angry was coming home this afternoon to discover that MIL had cooked fish and chips for DS1, which he had eaten quite happily. Sick? Really?

MIL very concerned about the stress we're under. Said, "Ooh, you'll split up over it." That was helpful .

Rant over

DH and I did manage to have a very lovely pub lunch together though, so we are now talking to each other in a civilised fashion again.

Arrived home about an hour ago. Off to collect DS2 from his playdate, then time to cook dinner. And will be needed.

Swan - have just been chuckling at your DS's homework - 'A step-by-step illustrated guide to painting' - and your response ('No, we are not doing that'). It is the underlying panic and disbelief in your response that makes me laugh - as if part of you thinks that they might actually inflict that level of homework on your son!

I would have been furious too toffee. But the kids feed of the negative as it is a reaction of any kind. Bloody annoying though.

Ds is back on the eat twice own body weight three times daily again. So I am currently holding fire on the school shirt labelling. I am going to have a look at the size difference as I bought one size up but i suspect they might be the right size and thus require changing up to new size. So will need to hunt out the reciept. Bloody kids are expensive things... plus the poor kid keeps getting asked which high school he goes to. Yeah sorry but he isn't nine yet, he's just very tall for his age and looks like he would snap if the wind blew too hard

Done various amount this afternoon, got more to do including a lot of out of the house errands this evening but in the middle of picking a fight with ds about bedtimes. He is back at telling me it is 8pm. Hahaha yeah nope. 7pm is bedtime anything else is a luxary so nerh.

Hi all,

Bitchy thank you for setting up thread extension and congrats on mahoosive list (and to everyone who has produced a list today/yesterday.) I have done no Flying at all today and only did minimal chores yesterday.

Just Great news re: HMRC battle!! YOu deserve a bit of good news after all this time!! HOpe you are managing to conserve some energy for yourslelf and can get an appt at doc's soon.

Toffee so sorry to hear that your mornign was so stressful. It all sounds incredibly tough. You have my full sympathies.

ranting vent alert!
V. stressful morning here too - meeting with school head - re: dd's difficulties (she is top of class in one language and near bottom of class in the other - and the one she is bottom in is the most important one for a variety of reasons). They are recommending child psychologist to deal with stress/anxiety which I feel is emanating largely from unbelievably rigid school system itself. Dh then spoke over me and said that he thought the school wasn't putting enough pressure on the dc and dd wasn't getting enough hwk . (He went to incredibly competitive, pressured, all-boys, elite, public prep school and thinks every dc should have exactly the same experience as him.) I was/am so furious with him - proper blood-spittingly furious- that I can't be in the same room as him atm never mind hold a conversation . Just felt so undermined . And what I don't understand is that he's always saying that the main thing that particular school taught him was how to evade the rules without getting caught!

Then visited said potential child psychologist who, from my own raddled, nearing-half-century pov, seemed incredibly young and puppy-tale-waggishly optimistic and woefully lacking in worldly experience but heck, my opinion doesn't seem to count for very much

Spent afternoon wrestling (yet again) with accountant to try and sort out implications of new VAT system that used not to apply to us and since Jan 1st, now does - a veritable cauchemar.

In summary atm: hate all men - hate all so-called bloody patronising so-called professionals! !!!!
[Thanks for putting up with the rant everyone]

Sorry about the Dyson Eustacia

Like your new swanky boots Blue (perhaps I shouldn't mention that they are remarkably similar in style to some I wore at university over 30 yrs ago [argh - old crone status beckons]

Swan/Humanordancer my old English teacher was obsessed with the proper use of the parenthetical dash

So sorry you are feeling rotten Goth sinus headaches are the pits

Waves to Merry Dizzy¨Don'tstep Castle Feetheart Nicknacks PA Honu Whoknows Pushme EllieEngels
and everyone else I've missed.

In my experience that is generally how i have felt dealing with the system. I have yet to kill someone but I have learnt to use the system and thus piss off ds' teacher when she messed up recently

Cheers Bitchy thank you

[leaves out more on naughty corner counter for those in need of something soothing]

Sorry you've had an awful day, SC. I would be speechless with fury at your DH's behaviour too. However, it sounds as if the school have their own firm opinion on your DD's difficulties and I can't imagine DH's view will have much impact on them. I hope the psychologist can help your DD, but completely 'get' how patronising they can be [weary emoticon].

Thanks Toffee cheers (Have pm'd you]

Cheers, SC . (Have pm'd you too ).

SC psychologist may have sympathy with children that belies her appearance/manner, anyway I hope so. What a very strange comment from your Dh. Maybe he was terrified of the formidable headmistress and blurted out something just to assert himself.

Toffeepoor ds1, he's not really winning in this situation, just doing the only thing he can think of to reduce his anxiety which is to feign illness - the more we need them to behave the worse they do behave (if I can use the word behave) - they just pick up on the tension and cannot cope. The primary school need to know that you are dealing with a very very tricky situation (and actually it is partly their fault that ds1 never got the help he needed in primary) and if you bring in ds2 late it is the least of your concerns.

I've had a lovely evening - partly because I've done sod all today and talked to my friend about teenagers, so every time ds1 melted down this evening I felt equipped to deal with it.
Also managed to keep up a stream of comfort food, flapjacks, pasta in tomato sauce, chips, rice pudding and peaches. So a cosy atmosphere I hope, and far less telly than usual. Lots of chatting with kids. No worries about messy house as Dh is not here to notice!

Ds1 (13/14) He has had an appalling week organisation wise, ended up with a stream of detentions for losing books, forgetting homework and today he's in floods of tears because he forgot a Maths book which he needed for homework, because he went to Drama Club (where ds2 annoyed him unfortunately final straw) got up far too early for D of E, and is generally losing the plot. A typical example was that he got a Hof Year detention for not turning up to a smaller detention which he didn't dare go to because it would have meant annoying the teacher who takes String Ensemble at the same time. I would be in a muddle with that sort of situation, I'm not surprised he was.

I think I need to keep him at home tomorrow as he has a Grade 3 violin exam on Tuesday, last lesson on Monday, and de-stress go through the pieces properly. Atm he keeps following ds2 round the house shouting at him, and insulting him which is a sign of him being in a state of collapse. Also need to ring pastoral teacher. She wrote a note in his diary which suggested she was fed up with unfinished work, sloppiness. Yet he still seems to love school even when he gets to the point of finding it all unbearable. Strange boy.

I feel very grateful for this thread because when I read my own words about ds1 and imagine someone else had written them, and what advice I would give them (oh so officiously it would be I NEED TO SORT THIS OUT WITH THE SCHOOL. Ds1 is dyspraxic so it isn't suprising he cannot cope and is getting out of kilter.

Sorry to hear about all the stresses and strains , SC, Toffee, Swan and others.

Achieved most of errand day stuff and got interviewed for local radio about school fiasco again.

Lost it with the boys this afternoon cos it sounded like they were killing each other. They swear they were just playing though... I feel very out of kilter myself sometimes.

Another early start tomorrow, but work has eased off a little so might actually manage a house bleugh as boys out. Will see.

Night!

Hmmm I missed the party.

Sorry so many people seem to need it ao badly tonight. [hugs]

sanschocolat I love your namechange!

And that is all. Ta-da: spag bol dinner (homemade sauce)

Swan - you are so right about this: he's not really winning in this situation, just doing the only thing he can think of to reduce his anxiety which is to feign illness. Thank you. Now I have calmed down a bit, I can see that. I veer from fury to sympathy at the moment. Poor boy - when I returned home I ranted at him for managing to eat fish and chips when he was supposedly ill and he looked really sad and said he'd actually been looking forward to seeing me, but now he wanted me to go away . I apologised, went out of the room and came back in again as if I had only just arrived, then we replayed the scenario with 'nice mum' in stead of 'ranty mum', which made him smile.

And you are absolutely right about the primary school being partly responsible for DS1 not getting the help he needed.

I think I'm just finding it intolerable to experience 'normal' life for a bit and then have it snatched away and find myself back in the midst of unpredictability and stress again. I'm better when I know what to expect, no matter how difficult it is.

All the cooking you describe in your house sounds so delicious - I wish you could magic some over here not the casserole you left in the garden for two days though .

And I'm so sorry your DS1 is struggling at school again. Time for another chat with the SENCO or his form tutor, as you say. I know how wearing it is, but it's clear that your DS1 needs a bit more support and understanding at the moment.

Blue - well done on fitting in an interview on the radio with your Flying. That's an unusual thing to have on your 'ta da' list .

House is looking fine, thanks to my crisis clean last night. Am going to finish the last bit of washing up, then lay out tomorrow's clothes before heading off to bed. Have a busy day tomorrow.

spent the morning finishing my mini quilt (which is now on its way to Oz) and the afternoon sorting out our huge pile of filing. all put away except for a couple of bits that need actioning.

as some of our weekend guests arrive tomorrow I need to organise a crisis clean and tidy up of study, kitchen and lounge plus get some food in and organise beds etc!

Ta Da

• Quilt finished and posted off
• Filing done
• Room rescued dining room inc large pile of paper recycling
• run/walk accompanied by DD on her bke
• pottered around tidying bits and pieces whilst everyone else sat about not thinking of helping out!
• D/W stacked and on
• School/swimming/forest school bags organised for early start

Sorry you are all having struggles with your DCs.

Don't tell me off too much Toffee. I am in bed but just csn't sleep. Should be fun getting up in 3 hours!

Toffee, SC, Swan huge sympathies. I wish I could say something more useful than that, but at the moment I 'm very feverish again and things I've posted elsewhere seem to come out wrong, so just thinking of you and wishing calm and a bucketful of exra special patience for you.

Blue well done with being interviewed as part of daily to do list.

Dizzy also sympathies, pain is preventing everything includeing sleep.

to do Totally harrass Dr's for appointment.

Sounds like everyone is getting batteredby life atm.

just take care of yourself.

sc at dh. Maybe if HE was the one supervising hwk he'd think differently!

toffee and swan to I can't imagine the levels of patience you must have. Situations with dc sound very stressful and frustrating.

Well, I came home to dh cooking dinner my candlelight yesterday. We had a powercut for about 2 hours so everything was very dark...managed to steal the last of the hot water for a candlelit shower, but luckily it came back on at 6.30!

house is a tip so have a lot to get through today

ta da
breakfast
washing on

to do
Yesterday's washing up (clean hair trumped clean dishes!)
Supermarket
post office
dry cleaners
petrol
online banking
phone dm and best friend
beds
tidy...nothing is where it should be!
bathrooms
hoover
bins
pop to nursery to arrange finger scan entry

And ds took charge of choosing his clothes this morning so as well as romper, dungarees, long sleeve tshirt and socks he also has on dressing gown, thick jumper on top and my slipper socks!

Thanks for the supportive words. It really does help.

I discussed the situation with DS1 last night. He thinks he really is ill, which may be true, although I would say he certainly isn't ill enough to stay at home. I suggested it was anxiety and he admitted, "Maybe". "Are you finding it hard to go in to the learning centre too?" "Maybe".

Didn't get very far in the conversation, but the upshot was that I told him he didn't have to go in today. He looked so relieved. I said he could have a day off 'sick' and then we'd start afresh next week. This way, if he really does have a bug it'll give him time to get over it. And if it's anxiety, he'll be ill again on Monday and we'll know for sure.

He wasn't the only one who was relieved. I just couldn't face the battle this morning.