Fledglings don't makes resolutions in January, they fly and chat through the babysteps.

[BitchytheGreat]

Roll up, roll up. Thread two for January is here. You chatty lot

will be back later with linkie poos and a vat of bitchy's special brew...

In the meantime spot markers will be handed a magic rubber and told to clean up after themselves...

Don't worry, WhoKnows. Am just a bit jittery about it all.

Swan would bicarb lift the smell?

I have to write an annual 'report' of where things are wrt ds. It is the only way to try to explain to his dad what he needs. I am have put it off for an entired Month already. I know i need to do this. The fact that you have 12 pages whoknows does not surprise me. I can have that annually and that is just summarising the current situation rather then historical one. (Before you panic toffee the report also contains all the coping strategies/punishment routes etc so different to what would go in an application for statementing I expect) It does get you thinking, and I agree it can be really depressing. I am grateful i get to put strengths in and not just weaknesses otherwise I think it would require a vat of vodka to get through. So you both have my sympathies. Good luck.

I have to be on a roll toffee there are going to be people in the house next week and I have no lounge, no dining room, the hall is under laundry as it is a crash mat don't ask , ds' room is an explosion of paperwork and lego.

Right i am going to fly up to the next town and do some errands there quickly as I am pushing it to get back to head to the local lakeland for a cake tin and being able to do the school run...

You and me both

and you Bitchy

x-posts with toffee and whoknows and tiptoes out quickly and quietly...

WhoKnows The only way I could get it all accurately for DLA was to think "if someone came in to take care of DS1 for 24 hours, what would they need to do - what would they need to know?" It was a frighteningly long and busy list. All sorts of little things that on the surface don't appear like much, but if not done will either result in a meltdown, upset, or safety risk.

Thanks, Who.

Crisis clean not progressing. Must shift backside off chair.

ta da

Lunch
Stripped bedclothes
Put another load of washing on
Teacher persuaded DS1 to go to the learning centre for about 15 minutes (he wouldn't go inside)
Banned DS1 from going back inside his room as it needs to be decontaminated
Tried to persuade DS1 to go out on his new skateboard (he said it was too wet and slippy - he might be right)
Removed large numbers of cups, plates and glasses from DS1's bedroom
Deployed large bin bag to declutter his bedroom
Gathered up various items of dirty clothing and put them in laundry bin
Hoovered Ds1's bedroom
Packed up his school uniform and put it in the cupboard

About to go back and have another go at his room now. Am finding it housework very, very dull. Nothing new there, though.

Am finding housework, I mean. Stray 'it' crept in there .

[snaffles corner of Bitchy's bacon sandwich and looks admiringly at her ta da list]

Hi, just diving in and out to say I can run thread in Feb but may be missing for a bit around the 21st (and possibly travelling in last week but that can be tackled as and when).

Sorry - still haven't caught up with thread properly - just sped read!

Everything a bit hard going atm: fil had serious infection the day before yesterday (so much so that when the phone goes we are all on tenterhooks) but has rallied a bit this afternoon thankfully, dh stressed and travelling all the time and the work pressure never stops, have appt with psychologist for dd next week, hospital scan for me, and just as one friend finishes her treatment for cancer, I met another friend in the street yesterday who dropped the bombshell that her dh has a brain tumour; she has two dss (one of whom is dd's age). Life is just so unfair sometimes.

All the more reason why I should buck up and count my blessings etc but like Alice am feeling very "sloth-like" atm - taking me ages to do the very minimum. Everything seems to require huge amounts of effort, but have very little to show for it. Just 'maintaining' and not decluttering as usual!

On a positive note: dd made us laugh last yesterday imitating various French rap singers (she has a very young/modern PE teacher who lets the girls choose their own music for gym - which is a refreshing change from a school whose teaching methods sit comfortably in the 1950s) and then dd wrote in her very last (fifteenth - phew!) thank you letter, "thank you for my new jeans, I whore them in Italy" [for those who don't know, dd isn't educated in English so her spelling can be a little unpredictable at times ]

Good luck with the statement Whoknows, I am sorry it is such a stressful process

And good luck to you too Toffeewhen the time comes! Hope teacher turns up as predicted this afternoon!

Just am horrified to read that my 'lucky' Google diagnosis might actually be accurate - hope not - and that you are still feeling so debilitated. Hope new meds sort whatever it is out properly. You obviously need a complete rest (which you can't have). Agree with Toffee, if things don't improve, go and badger them at the hospital again (mercilessly) ... .

[hands calming camomile tea over to Swan] sorry your mornign was so stressful. Arf at your description of The Jump!

Sorry no more personals - got to run!

Big waves to Feetheart Pushme Honu Silly Dizzy Blue Ellie Nicknacks Engels Humanordancer Stillwearing Merry goth Whispers Castle and everyone I've missed!

Forgot to wave to Eustacia (and probably loads more)

Just saw the bit about your egretJust

Take care of that hip Humanordancer (very minor in comparison, but am hobbling around here too because of broken toe - wierd cos doesn't hurt during day but keeps me awake at night!)

[Grabs car keys and skidaddles]

I bloody love aldi sometimes. 2 pairs thick skiing socks £4. My toes shall be nice and warm Has anyone had shoes from there as they had some nice looking winter boots which I was thinking would be just the job as I watched the first of the snow start to fall earlier.

Just going to make a hot drink and start tea, will be back in a bit.

ta da
tax car
pick up bits for decorating birthday cake
pick up birthday present stuff for ds
write ds' card whilst i remember
Save self job as local shop does something was expectiung to go to the city for
Banking part 1
Babystep
Update calendars
makse sure ds has pe kit for school
bread dough into bread machine
check time sap that is FB/MN
turn first batch of bread dough into rolls
put 2nd batch into bread machine
weigh out thrid batch of bread ingrediants
make bacon sandwich
1st load of washing on
check emails
send 3 out of 5 important emails
give more thought to the issue that is ds' birthday cake
find diary and update
find dd mandate form for submitting
count up shrapnel for changing for proper money
find gloves for hands as it is fucking freezing out there!
2nd load of bread turned into rolls,
3rd batch in machine
2nd load of washing into machine
Banking
Aldi
Get petrol
Stock the oh fuck snow emergency rations bag for car
Sort out tea for tonight (one meal)
Cook tomo and sat's tea whilst making a mess of the kitchen
Deal with over tired ds
Look at today list and see what is essential to do today
clear dining room table
move computer on table
try not to kill anyone
sort out babysitter so can sort out rest of ds' birthday present
Pick up bits for lunch box (aka jar of nutella) which were forgotten earlier

ta da
tax car
pick up bits for decorating birthday cake
pick up birthday present stuff for ds
write ds' card whilst i remember
Save self job as local shop does something was expectiung to go to the city for
Banking part 1
Babystep
Update calendars
makse sure ds has pe kit for school
bread dough into bread machine
check time sap that is FB/MN
turn first batch of bread dough into rolls
put 2nd batch into bread machine
weigh out thrid batch of bread ingrediants
make bacon sandwich
1st load of washing on
check emails
send 3 out of 5 important emails
give more thought to the issue that is ds' birthday cake
find diary and update
find dd mandate form for submitting
count up shrapnel for changing for proper money
find gloves for hands as it is fucking freezing out there!
2nd load of bread turned into rolls,
3rd batch in machine
2nd load of washing into machine
Banking
Aldi
Get petrol
Stock the oh fuck snow emergency rations bag for car
Sort out tea for tonight (one meal)
Cook tomo and sat's tea whilst making a mess of the kitchen
Deal with over tired ds
Look at today list and see what is essential to do today
clear dining room table
move computer on table
try not to kill anyone
sort out babysitter so can sort out rest of ds' birthday present
Pick up bits for lunch box (aka jar of nutella) which were forgotten earlier

ta da
tax car
pick up bits for decorating birthday cake
pick up birthday present stuff for ds
write ds' card whilst i remember
Save self job as local shop does something was expectiung to go to the city for
Banking part 1
Babystep
Update calendars
makse sure ds has pe kit for school
bread dough into bread machine
check time sap that is FB/MN
turn first batch of bread dough into rolls
put 2nd batch into bread machine
weigh out thrid batch of bread ingrediants
make bacon sandwich
1st load of washing on
check emails
send 3 out of 5 important emails
give more thought to the issue that is ds' birthday cake
find diary and update
find dd mandate form for submitting
count up shrapnel for changing for proper money
find gloves for hands as it is fucking freezing out there!
2nd load of bread turned into rolls,
3rd batch in machine
2nd load of washing into machine
Banking
Aldi
Get petrol
Stock the oh fuck snow emergency rations bag for car
Sort out tea for tonight (one meal)
Cook tomo and sat's tea whilst making a mess of the kitchen
Deal with over tired ds
Look at today list and see what is essential to do today
clear dining room table
move computer on table
try not to kill anyone
sort out babysitter so can sort out rest of ds' birthday present
Pick up bits for lunch box (aka jar of nutella) which were forgotten earlier

toffee aargh on school just not getting it, but at least he did turn up in the end.

SC I think it was always thus (I mean crisis after crisis) in our younger days, just that we knew less people so it affected us less Also, other older people had to take responsibility for crises.
Maybe that is why when we get older we are so tired all time, whereas when we are young we are so much more energetic.

done
found the pencil case when we were drawing the curtains in the front room this evening, amongst the Lego I pointed it out to ds2, and reminded him just how much trouble that innocent little pencil case in the wrong place had caused this morning, and he patted me gently on the arm, saying, sorry mum, I'll try harder next time. Very laid back now of course!!!![grrrr]

picked both boys by car from drama club at school, with bated breath wondering whether they would have a bustup in the car. Just about survived journey home I put on Radio 2 very loudly

piano practise for me - back tackling a Grade 3 piece
hung out washing
nap this afternoon
practised driving
groceries
picked up prescription
blood test at surgery
made apt for a week's time
lunch with dd and dh (not very nice food but nice to get out)
exercise
shook out tablecloth

now
do homework x 2
what's for dinner? bacon? cucumber? tomato? BLTs obviously
wash PE kit

Swan - Yes, "argh" to school not getting it. However, to my relief, I didn't need to say anything because DS1 told the teacher, politely and clearly, that not arriving when he said he was going to arrive had now made him much more anxious. Well said, DS1.

That's very sweet about DS2 patting your arm and saying sorry .

Had a horrible time this afternoon, which really brought home to me how difficult DS1 can be. Because I was tidying his room, DS1 was in the sitting room when I arrived home with DS2. For about five minutes, the three of us had a really nice chat and, for one crazy, optimistic moment, I thought that the boys were getting on really well and maybe they could be left alone. Silly me. DS2 laughed loudly at something we said and DS1 exploded, shouting that DS2 had hurt his ears. Five minutes of shouting ensued, with DS2 cowering on me, tears streaming down his face. Trying to reason with DS1 was impossible because he couldn't see any point of view other than his own. He really should have had that ASD diagnosis .

DS1 went up to his room and DS2 spent the next hour having really bad vocal tics because he was so upset. I tried to cheer him up by playing Lego with him for an hour (interestingly, the tics subsided then). I am so angry with DS1, even though I know he probably can't help it (sensitivity to noise; rigid thinking; issues with theory of mind). I can't bear seeing DS2 hurt like that .

Hey ho. Have given up on the crisis cleaning for today and opened a bottle instead. Cooking a late dinner now. Will finish the crisis clean tomorrow.

That does sound horrid Toffee. definitely called for.

Bitchy - DH had some cycling shoes from Aldi that fell apart the minute he first put them on. No idea what their ordinary shoes are like though.

Very small ta da! list but at least it's errands day:
Booked hotel for half term
Invoices
Aldi shopping done & put away
3 baskets of laundry put away
Tea cooked, cleared up and kitchen cleaned
Found possible solution to weird phone problem
Flitted round with duster

Hi everyone
I have had a really productive day today :)

Well done, Eustacia.

Blue - helped . Hotel booking sounds exciting.

Toffee [hugs and pats] Ds2 does that a lot to us, and especially to Ds1.
Ds1 admittedly has a habit of saying things deliberately to annoy ds2, and is two years older, whereas I can see how horrible it is when they are younger and completely innocent of malice.

Ds2 does this when he is very very anxious about something else. It is just a complete sensory overload and he has no capacity to tolerate the feelings of anyone else at at the point when he explodes. We just leave the room rather than reasoning with him, or repeat something very boring and soothing. Mostly we just leave the room (rather than asking him to leave the room which makes things worse)...

Oh dear, just to disprove what I've just said, Ds1 is now being so annoying that dh has had to put him out of the room as he is saying la la la na na to ds2 on a loop...They are watching the Jump again. It is beyond ridiculous watching it now...they actually had footage of someone having a terrible accident. I've left the room too

Even my sister who has two completely NT children described a scene where her two eldest were so horrible to the youngest (who is 3 and half years younger) that he was reduced to just crying They are So unkind Why are they So unkind? He loved them dearly and he just couldn't understand why they were screaming at him. She said it broke her heart, and she couldn't possibly see their point of view at that moment (I think they were frazzled 12 and 14 at the time and he was 8)

There is something about all your children crying at once that does break your heart It will pass though, siblings do scream at each other horribly. It will pass.

And ds1 is now back watching the Jump again and seems to have calmed down! The virtual powers of Mumsnet philosphiphizing.

done
science homework (volts)
dd and dh went to Morrisons to buy a cake for school
music homework (bagpipes)
washing uup
blt bagels
watched Interior Design Challenge. The wrong people won!!!! Horrid bright curtains. I want a cottage in that village

Thank you, Swan, it is strangely comforting to know that this is going on in lots of families around the world . I do feel very sorry for the younger siblings though. DH and I both remember one time, when DS2 was only a toddler, when he first protested at DS1's mistreatment of him and said, "I thought big brothers were supposed to be nice to their little brothers." It broke our hearts.

I think you are spot on about the overload bit. And that's a good idea about us leaving the room, instead of staying and trying to reason, which was completely pointless.

Am intriged by 'The Jump'. I have no idea what it is.

So tomo is the last day of January.

Blimey it has been eventful for many of us.

I am not going to post the babystep link because essentially it goes. Well done you did a week, don't worry if you slip up jump back on, progress is good, you will get there eventually or the equivalent in fluffy pink and purple language.

missions

It has been fun but time to step back and let someone deal with the slightly calmer event that is february i fecking hate february and am going into hiding see you all the other side expect there will be stupid long ta da tomo so nerh

Am I in?