Fledglings Fly in Flaming June; C.H.A.O.S. will be banished soon!

[sanguinechompa]

Welcome to the June 2012 Fledgling Flyers thread. Park your mops, buckets and microfibre cloths here!!

A huge "thank you" to Toffee for leading us throughout May!! Hope you have a fabulous holiday in Spain!!

If you're house is a mess and you are strugging with C.H.A.O.S. (can't have anyone over syndrome) and S.T.U.F.F. (something that undermines family fun) then this is the thread where we (loosely) follow the step-by-step Flylady housekeeping system (in our own, unique, relaxed style) with lots of chat, support and along the way.

We advise not signing up to receive the Flylady e-mails as you will be inundated! All the information you need will be linked here on a daily basis.

From the first of the month, we will be following Flylady's tips on restoring order to our homes, and as we are all at different stages we will be using one of the following methods:

• repeat or start baby steps

• repeat baby steps + do 15 mins a day decluttering in the current zone

• reinforce babysteps and do daily missions if you have finished decluttering.

More info here, here and here

All welcome!!

Oh dear, I'm sorry so many of you have had a really, really horrible day too. Must be combination of heavy weather and end of term tiredness.

[Squirts Carpe's squirty cream at football on tv ... just when I needed a nice distracting film]

I'm still replaying employee conversations over and over in my mind and conclusions not looking good. It ended with her handing over the keys and saying that if we didn't call by Monday (presumably to apologise) she would not be coming in. Having weighed it all up, I don't think I can bring myself to apologise or have any need to do so. So need to find reliable replacement for Monday in next two days ... And even if we were at fault (which we weren't) tis a mahoosive, bewildering over-reaction on her part. [sigh]

Anyway, Whoknows hope you are proud of me because owing to aforesaid events, I didn't feel like cooking, so I caved in and allowed dd a Quickburger (continental equiv of McD) for supper on way home from party BUT stuck to cold pork and salad for myself (OK and a few of her leftover chips ....) so things could be worse!! So your motivational message on MFP definitely did the trick - thank you!!!

BUT definitely understand your need to dive in to cheesecake Carpe !! Sometimes cold pork and salad really doesn't "do it". I wonder if you succumbed??? Don't feel bad if you did. (And hope you enjoyed it!!) Tomorrow is another day and all that!!

OFM difficult team dynamics at work must be very trying to handle - and tiring - especially when you have a team of over-tired dc to greet you when you get home! There must be no time left-over for any respite for yourself. Hayfever on top of that must be pretty miserable too.

I find end-of-term events/outings/extra curricular 'spectacles' (as they call them here) quite tiring and that's with only one child, so hat's off to you for coping with all of that x 6. Sounds like a good plan to book days off - no idea how one would cope otherwise - but I guess that eats in to holiday days you desperately need too!

Incidentally, my doc actually recommended a square of dark choc per day when we were discussing weight loss. Said it contained all sorts of good things (which I forget now) that were satiating (sp?) and beneficial.

Wow Likelucklove Think you receive top Flying marks tonight!! Congrats on completed list and Zumba-ing too. Really good going (partic when you were feeling so low)!! Sorry you have had such a stressful day (and teething still causing upset). Top marks for battling on through! Manicure always a good idea to cheer oneself up.

Bitchy sounds like melt down might have cleared the air a bit (hope so anyway) and simmering issues at least now in open. Good you have a workable plan too. All must have been incredibly draining/stressful though so hope you manage to get a decent night's sleep tonight.

oh dear SC you have reminded me why I was so eager to escape my last employment found my last office job wearing. The Jekyll and Hyde moments were indeed horrifying, people you liked suddenly were at each other's throats declaring war in our case over banana skins in the bin. The bad moments used to get replayed over and over in my head, and every day you had to see those people again, the tension built up...
But I can't imagine you mistreating anyone, so it must be her. I think such a bad vibe can't be forgotten so easily, so you are right to think it is not worth apologising. Poor you, it must be the last thing you wanted to deal with today.

I had a horrid day with ds2, I think it was the fear of the authorities hanging over us, that ruined it...I always feel very shifty when he is off school.

I love the squirty cream emotion at the football

OFM ds2 has been very shouty this evening, taking offence at everything - clearly the strain of being at home was too much for him [rueful] I never thought I'd admit this but the routine of school is clearly what he likes.

Ds1 now says he is ill. He has a concert tomorrow night, and as there are only ten people in the choir, he has to go (and I have to go) So now I have to decide whether he needs to stay at home to be fit for concert, or risk sending him to school and him singing really badly...So now a second day of cataloguing is doomed, I feel so unprofessional. Positive thinking Positive thinking! Perhaps I can leave him for an hour or two and still do some.

Dd says she is ill too, but I don't believe her. She said all her bones ached. Sports Week!

Body Clutter today I had two glasses of milk to reduce stress levels, and it was amazing, it worked! Also made some chocolate refridgerator cake for kids, and only tasted a tiny bit, so feel like I am still on course. But I've taken no exercise today at all, except to walk around Staples.

Sorry SC I didn't mean to give the impression that I disliked offices, in fact the office I worked was great in lots of ways; it is more that I remember how when things went wrong, it was a bit like a family situation, when things feel very black and white.

done
cleared kitchen
ate meatballs
missed Beavers because of combo of lost car key, babysitter not returning from Park ds1 nervous breakdown over D & T.
dealt with various emotional children

Oh dear Swan you evidently didn't escape the stress today either. Sorry your dcs ill/tired/suffering from end-of-term tension and hope things work out for you all tomorrow. You never know, they may feel different/better in the morning!

Try not to worry about cataloguing - you can only do what you can do - although I realise it's another background stress to add to the pile.

Well done for resisting choc cake and steps around Staples just as valid as steps taken anywhere else

And you are spot on about the office - it really is like a family situation - particularly as ours is so small.

I'm no doubt over-reacting to all of this too but I absolute loathe confrontation and am useless/cowardly/crap at dealing with it. The unexpectedness of it all didn't help either - such a bolt out of blue - in terms of timing and the person involved.

Hope you found the car keys in the end!

G'night all!!

Today's baby-step no. 28, for Thurs 28th June is here A good one about looking after ourselves properly.

This week, we are in Zone 5, the sitting room here

Try and declutter for 15 minutes a day in the current zone.

Once your sitting room is decluttered, you can progress to detailed cleaning

You can find today's mission here Quick hoovering session.

The habit for June is a good one - drinking water - more info here

Thursday is errand day

If I've forgotten anything it will be in the http://www.flylady.net/c/fp.php?tzm=-120 flight plan which should update automatically, as should here

Sleep well everyone! Let's all hope for a better day tomorrow!!

Swan may I recommend a "Flylady lanyard" in hideous pink which apparently "Makes the Frustration of Lost Keys a Thing of the Past"? ( See today's Fat Fairy homepage)

And while you are at it, why not go for the matching detail dusting mitt and "I'm so proud of you" pencil set!! You know you want to!!

Morning all. I like to sneak on at the end of the month to make it look like i have been here all the time. I do jave a good excuse sc honest.

Excuse 1:- half of the month was spent trying desparately to prepare students for GCSE

Excuse 2:- rest of month has been spent marking said exam papers every waking moment.

Excuse 3:- i am a lazy cow

Excuse 4:- This is probably the main one. After 16 years together and 10 married DH and i are splitting. No drama, no-one else involved just a sad situation where we have become best friends but not what each other want/need as a husband/wife. We met when we were very young and i know i for one have changed a hell of a lot in the intervening years. Those changes have served to move us in different directions. I suspect we have been papering over cracks for a whole now and have tried to make things work for the sake of the dc's but the same issues keep
cropping up all the time and have been for years. Issues which to solve would mean one or the other changing who we have grown to be and that's not fair on either of us. I hope in time we will continue to be friends. He is moving out at the weekend and we still have to tell the dc's which i am not looking forward to. I suspect dd will take it in her stride as she is so young but i also suspect ds will be very upset. I hope when things settle down and they realise they will still see DH lots and see tha

Pressed post too soon when i was pouring my heart out

As i was saying..... When they see that we will probably be happier apart that they will accept what has happened and adapt.

The thought of being a single parent etc scares me to death but i know i will cope. Financially it will be tough but i will cope i think having done some maths over the last few days. It's just very very sad.

I am coping ok. Moments of tears but being my usual self and just getting on with it.

If you have managed to get to the end of this thank you. Quite cathartic writing it all down as i still can't quite believe it is happening. Part of me wants to scream 'don't go,' but deep down i know it's the right thing to do.

Anyway, on a positive note my house will be a lot tidier. After the weekend is over i will try and get back with you as lord
Knows i am going to need those routines now. As for Body Clutter, i was doing really well on health kick and had lost 6lb in 2 weeks. I have however eaten my own body weight in chocolate over the last few days.

Hope you are all ok. I offered to lead in July and it is a long time since i have. I don't know if that has already been decided but am still willing to do it if you would like me to. Might help me get back on the flying wagon so to speak.

good morning all
Have woken up with my eyes glued together, by throat feels like its been sandpapered in the night, and my nose is streaming....but hey ho!!
On the positive side me and DH have been paid and our money is there (we bank with Natwest!) so that is a bonuus!
Not sure what today will bring...just taking 5 minutes as littlies still in bed and feels a bit like the calm before the storm!
today I need toneed to:
sort clean clothes
dc up and breakfasted etc
tidy littlies room
clothes away in littlies room
S&S bathrooms
school run - stopping at cash point on way to get cash to pay for all school trips £50 so far and one more trip we still havent had letter for )
Arrive at work in positive mood!
Be productive and calm at work!
school pick up
food shopping
home
reading
dinner
run
shower
bed!

right...best get back to it.
Sending magic fatfairy dust to ensure everyone has calm positive days today
BBL

oh ellie X posted. So sorry to hear that. You sound as if you are coping extremely well. Im sure it must be really,really hard though. I hope telling DC goes OK. Will be thinking of you over next few days. Remember to pop on for a moan/rant/tea/biscuits etc when you need to ....FLYing can wait!

Oh Ellie, so sorry to hear that, you sound as though you are being very brave and sensible about things, which must be very hard indeed. Sending you a big hug, we're all here for you. x

Sod the tea and biscuits ofm and whoknows i will need a large vat of . And thank you

Just flying by to give Ellie a massive (((((((hug))))))). So sorry to hear that you are going through that. You sound very "together" about it all. Thoughts for you today and this weekend and coming weeks.

So sorry to hear your news, ellie. You sound so together but must be going through such a difficult time. Hugs, and from me too.

Oh Ellie so sorry to hear your news

That's so sad and tough on all of you but you are being typically brave. And if anyone can cope with clear-eyed thought, huge competence, wit and stoicism in this situation - it will be you xxx

Sending lots of positive thoughts, prayers, and soothing wing flaps your way

Will be thinking of you over this weekend too xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Oh and agree with OFM btw. Stuff the Flying for now! Just do what you need to, to look after yourself and dc xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

*
(And thanks for offering to lead thread. Are you sure you want to deal with the hassle right now? I'm afraid I can't promise to continue in July (although could do first week) because major travel looming but I'm sure someone else will volunteer, or we can share or whatever.)

Morning all, just a list dump apart from to leave for ellie!

Walk dog
Shred
Post office
Lunch out with another friend
Friend and her baby coming here this afternoon
Put DD clothes into storage
Hoover round- pull out sofa and chair and Hoover, clean skirting boards
My laundry
DD laundry
Hoover car out and clean inside, blow up tires ready for weekend
paperwork tonight

BBL

Oh god ellie, so sorry to hear your news. Like SC I'm sending all my positive thoughts in your direction - and (despite being miles and miles away!) if there is anything I can do, just ask!

Certainly puts my tantruming DS into perspective.

Am feeling a bit more positive today, albeit quite sickly; I think I've been fighting this sore throat, headache for so long it's now going to be an epic cold. Am taking vitamins and will pop into Boots today to pick up the wonderful own brand lemsip capsules with caffeine in to try to get through the day and shopping is being delivered tonight so that's one less thing to bother about.

I have done my work for the day, then it's DS off to toddlers - I'm just going to brave it out and do the "oh god, wasn't he terrible" bit to try to get through it. Am also going to invite people round here next week as the group will finish today for the holidays - hopefully people will accept, and if it's nice, we can throw them in the garden

The rest of the day will be hopefully spent on a 1-2-1 basis with DS; I suspect that part of the reason for the meltdowns is because while I talk to him and let him follow me about, I've been too busy with work and stuff in the house to actually play with him and his toys. And the fact that he doesn't eat at the table any more as he refuses his highchair, and we don't have suitable kitchen chairs for him to sit at - so that's now on the list of things to buy.

Ach well, on with the day! Good luck to everyone today!

Need to add to my list

Clean out fridge
Take DD to health visitor
Write a shopping list- mum is staying here rather than at hers with DD and Dougal while I'm away this weekend. Better get "easy" food in for her to give DD or she will be on takeaways all weekend

two children at home today [resigned]
dd refuses to walk a step without saying her bones hurt, and ds1 has a mysterious virus which seems to be associated with D & T.

Ds2 had a complete meltdown this morning over suncream [Whoknows now I know what you mean - we really never needed to put it on ds before and he was hiding under the table and screaming his head off. Dh was so upset that he started screaming too...really not good.
Anyway, all sorted out amicably now, I think all ds2 wants is for us to distract him and stay calm, rather than confront him over the problem...You Must Wear Suncream doesn't seem to work as a tactic...more like let's pretend this is alien slime and then do a few rugby tackles on the mattress, yeah that worked bbl

ellie :( Sorry to hear you bad news. As much as you are being sensible and grown up about it. it is alright to take a moment to yourself to strop about it just not being fair. Be kind to yourself! Oh and if you need distracting I am only over the hills.

swan @ alien slime.

Ds has been very well behaved this morning. So hoping it will last.

Suppose I had better get some flying done.

Ah, my smartphone arrived on Monday. Dd has been putting it together, but unbeknownst to me she put something alien in the Sim Card slot, which she has now confessed. I feel this is the least of our problems, and she may at last stop fiddling with everything as a result of feeling upset (I think she wants the smartphone to work more than me) Hey Ho, I will have to take it to mender's [sigh]

Ellie Separation is very hard, I've several friends who have been through it, and there are so many stages, initial calm, elation, irritation, just plain loneliness, freedom, a new found self respect being what came out most I think. Also just that it was bloody hard work but that there was no other way. I think the most important thing is that no-one would do it, unless there was a reason. I think there is also a sort of phony war when you are separated but not really adjusted. I do often feel this constriction that dh is imposing on our existence, but I'm not sure whether it is me, him or our [tobeimproved] relationship.
Whining children approaching

done
arranged for ds2 playdate friend here after school to make some board game for school so not looking forward to that...positive positive positive
broke up a fight
weighed self as a treat! The scales are still dropping
made appt with pyschiatrist
paid milkman last night
stamped and addressed an envelope

todo
ring cbt person back again
put new files in back room
tidy front room: cds, jenga, piano music
newspapers cull
CARPET!!!!!
what's for dinner, noodles with beef, buy beef
hoover our bedroom (it has been weeks now)
put away washing on landing
trombone practice, encourage
violin practice dd, encourage

get dd to wrap present and write card to her friend (party last Sat)
write dd to write pc to cousin in Germany

VET!!!!

Oh Ellie, so sorry you are going through this. You are bound to feel that 'don't go!' feeling, but you wouldn't have made this decision together if you weren't both sure about it. It is good that it isn't an acrimonious separation. If it helps to know at all, my parents ended up being very good friends after their split, although it took time. Having to meet and discuss me was the thing that brought them together. Mum said she regarded Dad as a brother in the end. I honestly think they continued to love each other, but in a different way. Mum was very relieved not to be married to him anymore. They both met other people and had much better and happier relationships. And it never bothered me in the slightest that they split up. We were all much happier that way. So it isn't true that it's always terrible for the DC, especially if the parents remain friendly and work together.

You need to give yourself time to adjust and feel sad. We will all be here for you whenever you want shoulders to cry on (dusters at the ready for mopping tears ). And the naughty corner is, as you know, permanently open for virtual .

Ellie, your news does rather put everyone's crap day yesterday into perspective.

Swan - DS2 started to lose it over the suncream application this morning too. He stopped as soon as I threatened to remove his computer time after school . Your description of DH joining in with the screaming did make me laugh - sounds a bit like an episode of 'Outnumbered'. I think you need to throw 'Calmer, Easier, Happier Parenting' his way.

Tightening up all our boundaries here in the ToffeeWhirl household as the MiniWhirls are taking huge advantage of our exhaustion good natures. So this morning, I explained to DS1 the consequences of breaking rules (such as sneaking down to use the computer in the early hours ) and not doing what he should be doing (refusing to do his online lesson), ie. loss of computer time. Miraculously, he settled down instantly to his online lesson. However, I feel like a policeman and get so exhausted having to monitor behaviour all the bloody time.

Am planning to visit several schools for DS2. Really don't want him to have a rubbish experience of school like DS1.

Cleaner coming this morning so have to go and clear up ready for her. Will be a bit difficult to organise as she will be cleaning whilst DS is doing his online lessons, but we'll manage somehow. Should I pay her holiday pay (she has just come back)? Am not sure what to do about this. What do you all do?

Waves to everyone.

That really gave me pause for thought (as ever)Swan
strong ditto here too re dh constriction point
Hope your day gets better after that stressful start

Bitchy good that things are going better this morning!! "Profitez" (as they say - rather annoyingly sometimes it has to be said - over here)

Hope you have a good weekend away Lauren Safe travelling

Carpe I'm loving the "ach well and on with the day" attitude! Glad you are feeling more positive today and good on you for going to toddlers!! I remember that stage very well - when dd got really stroppy - and we realised she hated being confined in a highchair. In fact it taught me a huge lesson because ever since then, when her behaviour deteriorates, it usually signals the cusp of some sort of developmental leap. Sort of the "strop that kept on giving" Sorry you are still feeling unwell though, sounds like we have very similar virus. Sore throat/temp etc keeps going away and then re-appearing.

PA hope you and the dc have a lovely "special lunch" together. And "gulp" at selling the cars. That's really getting quite final, isn't it? Good luck with everything you have to get done and well done for conquering ironing pile.

OFM sorry hay-fever still troubling you but good that bank has sorted itself out. at £50 school trip!! Good luck with your long list and ... is there any time at all in there (even 10 mins) you could possibly ring-fence for yourself to read a magazine/twiddle toes in pond/lie on grass look at sky etc etc???? Easier said than done I am sure.

Huge wing flaps to Linzer, Whoknows, Feetheart, DroitwichMummy (if you happen to be lurking) Honu, Flying Scruffy Blue Likelucklove Engelsmeijse and anyone else who I've inevitably missed

Flying: have attack of Nesbits this morning but had better get on. I know I will feel better if I can make in-roads in to boudoir.

Body Clutter: not exercising, not tracking, everything slipping a bit ... pathetic that I can't seem to keep these things up for more than a week at a time. Must get a grip.

Right - stepping away from screen

[Leaves out low-fat for everyone]

x posts Toffee so sorry - must be going mad - left you off wing flap list by mistake!

What a fab post about your parents continuing to love one another but in a different way.

Huge waves to you and mini-whirls!