BlackCat ((((hugs)))) It is not an easy stage. Can you peek in the window, or phone after half an hour or find things to totally distract yourself with? As bessie says, they are usually fine once we are out of sight. What is she like when you go to collect her?
bessie the plan the psychologist has is the pretty much exactly the same as the routine we have tried again and again and again for years and years and years but he is older now so we will have another go.
The idea is that we have a routine from 6pm onwards (which we have already) but that we add a check list to it and an emotion thermometer so that he can tick off the stages and explain his level of fear throughout the process (with the thermometer).
He is to go up to his bed with me, have his story, have his chat and cuddle and then be left with his audio book and soft toys. If he stays there until 5.30 then he gets a reward of laptop time, or tv etc. If he gets up, even for a glass of water etc, he doesn't get the reward.
Either way he gets to report to Grandad on the phone in the morning about how he has got on (I still have to clear this with Grandad and prime him to offer big praise and encouragement when he gets it right). If he does this for a week he gets the soft toy he is longing for.
It all sounds so simple but is very difficult to do when he is screaming in terror in the middle of the night after a nightmare etc.
She spent a long time talking to me about fear and how he experiences fear and how to teach him to deal with his fears. It would all be fascinating if it was related to a child I had no emotional attachment to but is a bit upsetting when you get that insight into how your ds sees the world. Gah!