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Home ed

Find advice from other parents on our Homeschool forum. You may also find our round up of the best online learning resources useful.

Original poster

I hate home Ed ☹️

134 replies

Rachaelc1981 · 12/12/2023 15:13

As the title suggests…… I hate home schooling. I have 2 sons being home schooled. We took them out of school at the beginning of the pandemic. Eldest is 12 and other is 8. They just won’t do it. They are both so far behind. I sit with them every day encouraging, helping, supporting and providing everything they need. They won’t concentrate, they will write 2-3 words and then sit and talk about sodding YouTube etc then continue with 2 more words and so on. They both need to go back to school but I don’t know how I’m going to get them back with them being so far behind. I even do school work at weekends and during holidays if they haven’t done enough that week. My 8 year old has many issues (tics and still has accidents) so I’m worried he will get bullied. My eldest is extremely immature for his age, again worried he will get bullied. I’m not looking to be judged or even needing a reply, I’m just venting off as I feel there is no way out of this situation ☹️

OP posts:
Ninastibbefan · 12/12/2023 15:16

Do they have any additional needs OP? My DD is only 5 but we’ve taken her out of school as she’s autistic & wasn’t coping. We are not following any kind of structure or timetable at the moment which might seem mad to some people. We are basically doing the unschooling method for now & we’ll review next year. There’s a lot of evidence in favour of self directed learning which is harder to achieve in school.

Bobtheamazinggingerdog · 12/12/2023 15:18

contact some schools, see who has spaces and make the applications adap. You can discuss their needs once you've got in the door. The longer you keep them off the worse it will be.

Hiyawotcha · 12/12/2023 15:18

If you are hating it, it’s stressful, and it doesn’t seem to be consistent with the kids making progress then the only solution really is to get them back in school.

im sure other people might be more knowledgable about the transition, and with regards to the help available in school for catching up or addressing any SEN. Do you think they have additional needs - and that’s why they’re home schooled? If so, have they ever had any assessment?

if You have a home Ed contact at the LEA would they be able to help find places?

the bottom line though is if it’s making you miserable you kind of need to see how things go if the kids are back in school.

Swishyfishy · 12/12/2023 15:26

if you want them to rejoin school do it sooner rather then later. There will be a catching up period which might last a year or two.

the alternative is too look at different approaches and topics which might be of more interest? What resources do you presently use? What do the children enjoy?

Mischance · 12/12/2023 15:34

Our local primary often takes children who have been home schooled till then. Teachers here are used to dealing with this and helping them to catch up.

arethereanyleftatall · 12/12/2023 15:39

Will it help you if you tell yourself that every single day you delay getting them in to school, it will be harder, for both you and them.

EweCee · 12/12/2023 15:45

There are other options to home schooling yourself or mainstream school. How about tutors for core subjects, or an online school? I reckon they aren't doing it because you're their mum and they don't 'need' to do it - but an external tutor or online teacher will have mechanisms to get them to do it.

AgentProvocateur · 12/12/2023 16:24

The longer you leave it, the worse it will get. Speak to a couple of local schools and be honest about the situation and see what they advise.

Saracen · 12/12/2023 16:31

I'm so sorry you are having a rough time and feeling trapped. It does sound like what you are doing isn't suiting any of you.

Have you been in touch with local home educators for support to see if a different approach might be a better fit for you and your children? At the same time, you could contact schools in the area about what they have to offer.

SutWytTi · 12/12/2023 16:35

Speak to your local authority. You will have priority access to spaces because your children no longer have suitable education.

The very best thing you can do is get them back into school ASAP. Home Ed is great for many people but when it doesn't work, something has to change.

Speak to the LA before the end of term, you could have something sorted in a couple of weeks.

BTW, there is time for them to catch up, but you really do need to get on with it for the 12yo.

Original poster
Rachaelc1981 · 12/12/2023 21:33

Ninastibbefan · 12/12/2023 15:16

Do they have any additional needs OP? My DD is only 5 but we’ve taken her out of school as she’s autistic & wasn’t coping. We are not following any kind of structure or timetable at the moment which might seem mad to some people. We are basically doing the unschooling method for now & we’ll review next year. There’s a lot of evidence in favour of self directed learning which is harder to achieve in school.

Hi thank you for your reply. I’m all honesty I do think they both have something going on and quite possibly it’s autism. They both show signs. We haven’t taken them to doctors as of yet plus the waiting time is so long. As long as your daughter is getting some form of education that’s ok plus she’s only little, she’s got loads of time x

OP posts:
Original poster
Rachaelc1981 · 12/12/2023 21:35

Bobtheamazinggingerdog · 12/12/2023 15:18

contact some schools, see who has spaces and make the applications adap. You can discuss their needs once you've got in the door. The longer you keep them off the worse it will be.

Thank you for your reply. I know it’s the right thing for them to be back in school and you are definitely right in contacting various schools. I know they will support everyone involved in the transition needed. I’m going to speak to some schools after Christmas. It needs to be done x

OP posts:
Original poster
Rachaelc1981 · 12/12/2023 21:38

Hiyawotcha · 12/12/2023 15:18

If you are hating it, it’s stressful, and it doesn’t seem to be consistent with the kids making progress then the only solution really is to get them back in school.

im sure other people might be more knowledgable about the transition, and with regards to the help available in school for catching up or addressing any SEN. Do you think they have additional needs - and that’s why they’re home schooled? If so, have they ever had any assessment?

if You have a home Ed contact at the LEA would they be able to help find places?

the bottom line though is if it’s making you miserable you kind of need to see how things go if the kids are back in school.

My eldest always seemed to struggle at school in certain subjects and was given extra help but never suggested by school about needing anything further. I just know deep down school is the best place for them, for their education and for their development. My youngest (he was only in reception when we took him out) so hard to know if he was ok at school.

OP posts:
IsThePopeCatholic · 12/12/2023 21:38

Do they want to go to school?

Original poster
Rachaelc1981 · 12/12/2023 21:41

Swishyfishy · 12/12/2023 15:26

if you want them to rejoin school do it sooner rather then later. There will be a catching up period which might last a year or two.

the alternative is too look at different approaches and topics which might be of more interest? What resources do you presently use? What do the children enjoy?

I use BBC Bitesize, Oak Academy, internet, learning books from Home bargins, £shop etc. To be honest all they are interested in is their IPads, YouTube and gaming. So nothing to really spur them on for schoolwork. I keep explaining how different school would be, how much more fun and exciting it would be, trips make new friends etc but they need to do more at home before they go back, their reply is I know mam we will !

OP posts:
Minglingpringle · 12/12/2023 21:42

Just seems like the sooner you do it the better - start making enquiries, setting up appointments, doing research, discussing their needs. No need to wait till after Christmas, start tomorrow.

Original poster
Rachaelc1981 · 12/12/2023 21:43

arethereanyleftatall · 12/12/2023 15:39

Will it help you if you tell yourself that every single day you delay getting them in to school, it will be harder, for both you and them.

I tell myself that each day. I really do try with them and I put all my effort into it but it’s just going no where. They need to be in school

OP posts:
PTSDBarbiegirl · 12/12/2023 21:43

Speak to the school, they will be assessed and needs will be met via Differentiation. Teachers are used to dealing with things like tics and or toilet issues. Sounds like you've accepted they need the structure. Phone your Ed department and get them in somewhere.

Original poster
Rachaelc1981 · 12/12/2023 21:44

AgentProvocateur · 12/12/2023 16:24

The longer you leave it, the worse it will get. Speak to a couple of local schools and be honest about the situation and see what they advise.

Thank you for your reply. I’m going to contact a few schools after Christmas. It’s time now

OP posts:
User1343 · 12/12/2023 21:45

No need to wait till after Xmas

Original poster
Rachaelc1981 · 12/12/2023 21:47

SutWytTi · 12/12/2023 16:35

Speak to your local authority. You will have priority access to spaces because your children no longer have suitable education.

The very best thing you can do is get them back into school ASAP. Home Ed is great for many people but when it doesn't work, something has to change.

Speak to the LA before the end of term, you could have something sorted in a couple of weeks.

BTW, there is time for them to catch up, but you really do need to get on with it for the 12yo.

Thank you for your reply. My 12 year old has just started high school work in sept so I know how important it is for him to get into school. I think my youngest who is 8 will catch up but he has issues himself as in he has tics (not animal kind obviously) and he still has accidents and wears a nappy for bed so im frightened for him going back incase he gets bullied.

OP posts:
Thisismynewusernamedoyoulikeit · 12/12/2023 21:49

They would likely settle better if you got them in straight after Christmas. if you found schools with places now, they could be in class the day after the Christmas holidays (probably 8th Jan). This would mean they were joining at the start of new topics rather than a few weeks in.

PTSDBarbiegirl · 12/12/2023 21:51

There is just so, so, so much more to teaching children and being in education than books and education websites. It's a scientific process and even with the very best will in the world if you're not trained, qualified and know how to apply all the theories of learning for all subjects it will be very hard. The structure and expectations of the education provider are really important, it's not easy to maintain this but you've tried to meet their needs so just move forward before the 12 year old is any older. They'll catch up in time.

IHaveAskedYouThriceNow · 12/12/2023 21:54

I’m only posting this as another view.

Could you try getting your dc out and about, doing things they enjoy, get them interested in things? It’s far easier to get children enthusiastic about learning when 1. they’re interested in the subject and 2. they don’t know they’re learning.

Sitting doing lessons like you’ve described can be soul destroying for all involved, more so if they may have SN. Unschooling can work very well for autistic children.

Why did you originally start to HE, and how did you feel about it when you started?

Obviously if you hate it school is most definitely an option.

Soontobe60 · 12/12/2023 21:55

SutWytTi · 12/12/2023 16:35

Speak to your local authority. You will have priority access to spaces because your children no longer have suitable education.

The very best thing you can do is get them back into school ASAP. Home Ed is great for many people but when it doesn't work, something has to change.

Speak to the LA before the end of term, you could have something sorted in a couple of weeks.

BTW, there is time for them to catch up, but you really do need to get on with it for the 12yo.

That’s not correct. As the OP elected to home school her children, she has absolved the LA from any responsibility to find them places.