Be honest, I want everyone's views......what do you think of home ed???

[3Ddonut]

I suspect this may get nasty, but please try to keep it nice ladies (and gents) I really like the idea of home ed, I would dearly love to home ed my dc but there are some problems, firstly I work 3 nights a week and my dh works 2 full days,my eldest dd is 5 and she really loves school, but some of things that she says about school unsettle me, I always said that it is their choice if they want to go to school or not, which is why she is there and my ds is in nursery but I wish she'd want to stay home and the longer that she's there, the more I feel that we're wasting time...

I've read a lot of the other threads and see that you can do some home-ed stuff alongside school but I don't think that it's enough for me, I want them to remain interested and not be moved on from one thing too quickly or forced to spend time on things they dislike.

We're already a close family because of mine and dh's shifts there is nearly always someone in the house and we get to spend a lot of time with the kids. I suppose I'd just like it to be more of the same.

My main concerns are that the dc would resent us for it in the future (although I would not take a happy child out of school) I also worry about the effect of home ed-ing the children would have on future employers and university places, I do worry about the socialisation aspect although the kids are in a few groups and are very social, they interact well with adults as well as other children, I'm concerned about how much time I'd have to work with them with working full time myself (no opportunity to cut hours)

I'm going round in circles at the min, I think my ds would be more open to the idea and I'm considering not sending dd2 to nursery at all.

The other biggie is that the school they attend is out of area and it's a really good one, they wouldn't get back in there if we deregistered, I've considered flexi-schooling but I feel that would bring more problems than solutions....

OK, Open fire!!!

we home ed 1 of our 3 sons the other 2 are at secondart school having both been home schooled at various points too....in my view school can be a fantastic place to be and undoubtedly some children thrive and schooldays really are the happy times they should be....however some children learn better other ways,some schools dont have thriving vibrant atmospheres and sometimes school just isnt the right thing at that time.
I too worried about socialisation but in school its a very select socialisation very closely monitored and restricted and its not the be all and end all of school days really the best social experiences for your child imo are those she forms herself indeed with some children she wont see eye to eye with and home schooled children dont live in a cushioned bubble they experience a rich variety of socialisation with peers and other adults some adults schooled children wouldnt get the oppurtunity to meet.
if you doubt the education system in any way if you are concerned about your childs education dont imediately assume home school is the best option ....to go into home education isnt an easy step im not saying its unbearably hard work but its not to be done on a whim,i have to say as well that people always assume every day is a saturday for us because we home school but obviously i still have commitments and i still have to educate i still have to provide a stimulating education regardless of finance,mood,weather etc etc so dont think its like an extension of the holidays it can be hard work .....
really think strongly before you deregister get all your info and be sure its for you.
im sure if you do it you will find it very rewarding but equally it can be v difficult,

good luck whatever you decide and i always think so long as you make the best decision you can at the time after taking everything into consideration,you can always say in the future i tried my best.

Thanks dippy, that last line is kind of what I was looking for, for someone to say one thing that will just click, and that 'I tried my best...' it does click, I want to home educate but my dd and probably my ds want to go to real school, so that's not doing the best for them, it's the best for me, thanks, that's something to think about.

If they want to go to school, they should go to school. If they don't want to, they shouldn't. It's great that you are giving them the choice.

At the moment, though, they've nothing to compare school with - not going to school is a negative suggestion, yk? Let's stop doing something.

In your position, and with your sympathy for home education, I'd be spending the next few weeks reading madly on different HE approaches and philosophies (starting with Sandra Dodd's Unschooling site, for my money, but JulieNoShoes is the link lady) and I'd spend the Easter or Summer holidays trying to live that way, without being explicit about it, and try out some HE social groups nearby, and see if it fits. And then ask your children which lifestyle they prefer (with no particular expectation from me that they'll say "oh, Mummy, Home Education is just the loveliest thing" with wide bright eyes. They might well want to stick with school, in which case, fine!)

youre welcome hun xxxx

Thanks Emma that's the plan, during Easter we're going to try out 'school at home' not so much this hol as I'm on nights for 5 shifts this week!!!!!

Home Ed isn't a new idea for me, when dd1 was little we decided that she wouldn't go to school but we had put her name down at nursery of the school she attends when she was a baby and forgot about it, no sooner had we done our umming and ahing and decided we were going to home ed we got a call to say that her place was available, we asked her what she wanted to do and she said 'go to school' so she did. She knows that if she ever changes her mind she can. I'm just worried that she's too little to make that decision.... here we go again, off on another circle..... round and round and round......

If you are going to practice HE during the school holidays, please don't pile it on and stress your LO's out. HE'ing is very relaxed, it can be planned but shouldn't be regimented. If your plans go haywire because they over run don't think 'thats it, How can I HE when I can't get them to do a), b), or c)'. You don't MAKE a HE child learn, they learn because they want to (its a natural talent we are all born with), and it is amazing what they want to learn and the breadth and depth that you can go by following your interests.

I think in some cases, it definitely is the best way to go for the family.

Despite what people say, sometimes it's very necessary for the child/children to be educated at all, or, in the case of bullying, to effectively save their life.

Well I'm gonna give you my 2pworth. We had a vibrant, bright & curious little girl who enjoyed the local state nursery. She moved onto reception in a different school, but with her best friend, a good school according to OFSTED (always to be ignored imho), she learned nothing in a full term, except to put her hand up to speak, that noone has time to answer her endless questions, so don't ask, and that if you stand, sit or work very quietly you get a sticker

It took double the time she was in school to undo the damage. She wasn't bullied, doesn't have special needs, doesn't have separation anxiety etc etc. She just learns better at home, simple as that.
We have left it open for her to return to school in the future should she decide to, but at the moment she's very happy.
It was our decision to withdraw her from school, she didn't ask (she was 4.10 at the time) we didn't feel she was able to make that decision by herself, but did consult her before the letter went in.

We are fortunate in that we don't have childcare issues and when I'm at work Dh is at home, we have weekends together. It's working atm. I have a ds who is of school age in September and although we reserved a school place he is adamant he won't be going! That's his choice.
He refused to attend the same nursery so I'm going to trust him that he does know what he wants to do.

I think I would be tempted to HE your younger child whilst your Dd is still at school, she may change her mind herself.
Socialising is a concern for us too, they do so much of it it's hard to fit the work in around it lol.

Socialisation. Hmmm that old argument again. I do let him out of his box occasionally to attend, scouts, swim, karate, the libray, the sports hall for various activities, visiting HE friends and their friends, going to HE meetings. Then there is the grandparents, both families, the clan meetings (gaming clan), the museums, techniquest, shows and oh and about once a week he meets up for half an hour at the playground with his old school mates (its all they can stay out for as they are doing homework to prep them for their SAT's).

discoverlife, I know why this irks you, it is the first 'chestnut' that people throw at you, and ime, no matter what I say they remain unconvinced. I'm usually the first to say that they don't need school for socialisation, they get plenty of contact with other people anyway. I suppose my concern is that the kids have friends already at school and my dd is saying ' I can have so-and-so round that day and so-and-so round the next day' but it won't be like that (besides anything else I don't know the other kids) obv they will see some of their friends some of the time, I suppose I'm just worried that they'll miss their friends, although both their teachers have said that they don't have specific friends and even 'don't fit in' as well as other kids.

3Ddonut - that is one of the downsides that I've found with my children who have been in school. Two of my children still miss some of their school friends. Especially, when, as in the case of one of my children's best friend, her mother refused to allow her round to play.

Re the socialisation thing, I suppose it depends where you live, etc but one thing that I would be thinking about is that would there not be a possibility that your children would only meet other children from similar backgrounds if they are HE'd? - obviously the same could be said about some schools depending on catchment, etc. But overall I would have thought there is more opportunity at school to meet children from different backgrounds/with parents who have different views on life to your parents and learn to get on with them (even if you wouldn't want to be friends with all of them!)

We haven't found that at all, Grapefruitmoon. Fortunately, where we live there are a lot of children living nearby who attend different schools. The children all mix well together. Our children have also extended their range of friends by getting to know children in the local HE group. That's without the children they now know from the various clubs that they attend. So quite a wide range,really.

I think it's definitely beneficial for some children, and I really admire parents who HE their children.

When HE is done well, and for the 'right' reasons it can be exceptionally beneficial for the children. For some children is is just about essential.

Done badly and for the 'worng' reasons is can be catastrophically bad for the children.

Just like any other form of education really

Like I said - it probably depends where you live. Where I am, children don't really "play out" so wouldn't get to know kids in the neighbourhood - very much reliant on meeting friends at school or children of their parents friends.... so on the assumption most adults are friends with people they like and have stuff in common with, I would have thought it's less likely to meet people from different backgrounds if you are reliant on your parents "setting up" your friendships...

in our HE group there's a wide range of families from very hippy and alternative, to very right wing; from autonomous to the pushiest parents I've ever come across. The only thing they all have in common (apart from HEing) is that they're all very nice people. I cna't say that about the all the parents I've met at school!

Yes and that's my point - children have to learn to deal with the not so nice people at some stage - how long do you shelter them from this?

I'm not sure I totally understand what you mean - what sort of "not nice" people are they/we expected to deal with?

Wot MB said.

I've alwys kept the option of homeschooling open in my mind. So far I have found a school that I'm happy with (though Ipay for the privilege). I'm still keeping an eye on ds2 though 9who started reception last september), as just because the school suited ds1 very well, ds2 may need something different.

As an employer I have interviewed people who have been HE'ed for part of their education. In terms of accomplishments they have had good degrees from good universities, so clearly no disadvantage there. It is clear from their CV that they can be part of a team (eg via sports). I guess that I would have been slightly more concerned if I couldn't see evidence that they could work alongside a group of people, but tbh that is the same with anyone that I interview. It has been noticable though that those who I have been met who have been HE'ed and also come from a strong religious background seem to be less able to argue/debate than their peers. That scores badly in terms of what I'm looking for, but may not be such an issue in other fields.

That's interesting LadyMuck. I wonder why that is? Have you found that school-ed children with a strong religious background don't have the same difficulty?

Yet again, the OP had degenerated into a School versus Home Education debate. And again its about Socialisation. Until you have tried HE DON'T judge us that trying to do the best for our children. It is bad enough to know that if I had the full information about HE'ing 4 years ago, I could have saved my child years of torment. To then have to justify myself to everyone in my family, (thankfully they have come around brilliantly) and complete strangers who think they 'know best' because they are teachers or even schooling parents is getting very irritating.
Until you have tried to Home Educate yourself, please butt out. The OP has already had all the negative comments she needs from family, friends, teachers and well meaning but uninformed strangers. She has come on here for a viewpoint to balance all the negative bias she already has. So if all you can do is be negative about Home Educating go and start a thread about it in Education in general and get all the aprobation you need from there and leave us to reassure this lady.

I don't think it's degenerated into HE vs school at all. Or gone off the op. 3dDonut asked for views off everyone. Presumably good and bad.
You know you are doing your best for your family, discoverlife. No-one is disputing that. But 3dDonut wanted what people thought. It's good to know what might be involved. HE isn't always a bed of roses just as school isn't. But you can decide for yourself which roses have the most thorns for your family. Maybe none at all in some cases.
No-one is having a go at you home-edding your children. You have weighed the pros and cons and know what is best for yours. This is someone trying to work it out for their children. Only they know their circumstances.
I have school-ed children and home-ed children so know how each works for us.

Hey, Ds, the OP said she wanted everyone's views, not just the views of people whoagree with you!

I wouldn't Home Educate, I am not capable. a fair few people are capable, and do have that capacity for endless patience - but I think that home education should always be for the benefit of the child, and not the parents.

So, just because the parents don't wish to admit that Muslims and Jews exist and don't have 2 heads and a tail, that should be no reason to isolate the child at home where they can ensure the child meets nobody they haven't hand picked, and teach only from the bible.

And similarly, just because the government wishes our children to be moulded into well behaved automatons as soon as possible, that is NOT the best reason to send a child to school.

I send my child to school to give him experiences that I can't, and to give him an education that I can't, for him to meet people that I haven't pre-vetted. He enjoys school. Most small children do.

And I think that LadyMuck's views as an employer are very valuable. And interesting.