Be honest, I want everyone's views......what do you think of home ed???

[3Ddonut]

I suspect this may get nasty, but please try to keep it nice ladies (and gents) I really like the idea of home ed, I would dearly love to home ed my dc but there are some problems, firstly I work 3 nights a week and my dh works 2 full days,my eldest dd is 5 and she really loves school, but some of things that she says about school unsettle me, I always said that it is their choice if they want to go to school or not, which is why she is there and my ds is in nursery but I wish she'd want to stay home and the longer that she's there, the more I feel that we're wasting time...

I've read a lot of the other threads and see that you can do some home-ed stuff alongside school but I don't think that it's enough for me, I want them to remain interested and not be moved on from one thing too quickly or forced to spend time on things they dislike.

We're already a close family because of mine and dh's shifts there is nearly always someone in the house and we get to spend a lot of time with the kids. I suppose I'd just like it to be more of the same.

My main concerns are that the dc would resent us for it in the future (although I would not take a happy child out of school) I also worry about the effect of home ed-ing the children would have on future employers and university places, I do worry about the socialisation aspect although the kids are in a few groups and are very social, they interact well with adults as well as other children, I'm concerned about how much time I'd have to work with them with working full time myself (no opportunity to cut hours)

I'm going round in circles at the min, I think my ds would be more open to the idea and I'm considering not sending dd2 to nursery at all.

The other biggie is that the school they attend is out of area and it's a really good one, they wouldn't get back in there if we deregistered, I've considered flexi-schooling but I feel that would bring more problems than solutions....

OK, Open fire!!!

Juuule, certainly I haven't noticed the same trend with other religious candidates, but, please bear in mind this is only my own experience! Certainly my experience with HE candidates wouldn't ever put me off interviewing them, and they all passed the HR pre-interview screening of a very large multinational company. But I have had a couple of candidates (both from the US), and know a couple of people in real life in the UK who were HE'ed I would presume for religious reasons, and any time a wider debate was started it very quickly closed doown into a "but this is what I believe", and seemed to be unable to take in any wider view. In an interview for example we'll usually take some current affairs topic and discuss it to see how far the candidate can take the topic in terms of analysis and argument. Even if a candidate has strong personal views I would still expect as a minimum for them to be able to articulate what some of the opposing views would be.

To the OP:- you say that some aspects of the school unsettle you. I think that it might be worth getting to the bottom of that as well as reading up on HE. There may be ways of observing the class, or perhaps you can have a chat about philosophies and approaches with the teacher in order to work out if there is anything that does cause you concern.

Juuule, she has already had more views than she can handle about HE from the uninformed, we wern't there when she was told she couldn't do it because she wasn't a teacher, we wern't there when she was told her children would be mentally and socially crippled because of the socialisation "problem" etc. So why is it that we can't have a clear playing field to state our own case. Everytime we get an honest question, someone jumps on these threads and starts implying that all HE children are socially inept.

Thank you Ladymuck for putting a non-judgemental future point across.

She asked for all honest comment. I don't think that you have the right to dictate what people write in answer to the OP.

And FWIW I don't think that this has decended into a spat between home ed and school.

Discussion of some potential negatives aspects of HE is just that , discussion.

Or do you feel that HE can never be questioned? Because that is what it seems like.

the potential for HE child to lack socialisation is there, most HEdders avoid it, but it could be a problem for some.

Just like bullying can be in issue in some schools, many have good anti bullying policies, but not all.

You can't pretented that the pontential is there for it to be a problem, for people who don't HE well.

Message withdrawn

Discoverlife - I've not seen anything on this board where 3d has said she has had these things said to her. I may have missed those threads of course, or do you know 3d from rl?
That's not to say that she hasn't experienced the naysayers. Seems to be par for the course for anyone contemplating home-ed. And I agree that it's very unnerving.
However, 3d op seemed to be asking for all views. So I don't think she was restricting her question to just HE positive replies.
I do think that Home-ed is a conscious decision for people unlike school which for the majority is just a natural unconscious path to take (lots of people not even knowing about the option of HE). Most home-educators have gone into why it would be better for their children rather than the school system. At the start, though, they have questions just like parents in the school system. It's only by asking those questions and getting the answers that people learn that their view of home-education can be very removed from the reality of home-educating and that what appeared to be possible problem is no problem at all.

Ladymuck - thanks for that.

the Op title was 'Be honest, I want every-one's views......what do you think of home ed'

So it is a bit rich to be told, 'If you don't home ed, butt out' by someone other than the original poster.

And I don't see where this has degenerated into nastiness at all. It all seems to be quite rational and well mannered.

3D - dh and I have discussed HE several times over the 5 yrs since dd (9) started school. We still haven't decided for her or 3ds'. Its such a hard decision. We too have our kids in a good school which we wouldn't be able to get them back into if HE didn't work out. I don't know if we'll ever take the plunge, but either way I think we will forever wonder if we've done the right thing.

id love to be able to do it but dont think id be much good.plus i dont understand how id do 7 year old,6 year old and 2 year old(if someone who does he maybe they can tell me how they do it).i know people do and do it very well.i suppose id like to understand more.i have great respect for people who home ed,i think it must be very hard.

The Home Ed debate does get very emotional very quickly! My ds is school educated so I feel a little nervous about putting my opinion forward - I don't want to invite the wrath of discoverlife to descend on me for some inadvertent crime against home ed...

but since the OP invited all opinions, I shall carry on: 3D, I think what you need to do is to make some lists - emotional and practical ones listing all the pros and cons of school v home ed. That way, you can clarify how you feel and why you feel like that and work out what home ed would mean for you and your family in a practical way. Think about time, money (for outings, clubs, etc)and the skills you and your dh have to share and ones you would have to buy in. (If dh and I were to do it, for instance, we'd have maths, English, history, French and some science covered at secondary level but would struggle with anything practical and creative). Hopefully, some clear lists would help you move forward rather than going round in circles.

I would add to Slayerettes list making to ask yourself the question of 'What do you consider necessary for your children's education'.

Thank you so much for all your views,

MB, glad to see you here, I was hoping you'd drop in!

Ladymuck, your input has been very valuable, you can read about HE until your eyes bleed, but you'll never read the view of an employer interviewing a HE'd candidate over 'traditionally educated' candidate, I find your input fascinating.

Discoverlife, I'm so sorry that you feel that people are getting at you on a personal level, your reasons for HE'ing are very valid and if I were in your shoes, I would definitley HE, but my situation is different to yours and I just want to invite everyones views in case something someone says will make me suddenly think, 'yes, this is what I need to do' whether it be school or home...

Slayerette, your idea of making a list, is simple and effective, we've already 'thought' about which subjects dh and I would be confident to teach and which we could ask my Dad, for example, to help out with and those which we would struggle with, we came to the conclusion that if we didn't know, we'd find out together, effectively we'd all study for GCSE's or whatever, encouraging the kids to find the info for themselves and explore the topic themselves ( a valuable life skill I think) I appreciate you can't learn everything from a book, however.

As a final note, I'd like to say that this thread is going better than I thought it would, thankyou, you are giving me what I asked for oppinions which can be right or wrong, I'm not asking for that, I just want to know what people think about HE to help me to make my decision, you're coming out with some great stuff! Thanks again!

I'd go along with the idea of making lists - but I'd add "then throw them in the bin and do what you believe is the right thing for you" Because I believe the real value in making a list is that it makes you think through the issues in a much more structured way than you would otherwise do, and stops you going round in circles, and the list is more valuable as a process than an end-product.

do you home-ed muminscotland?

sorry, I'm off to work now, I'll check any responses at work (but I don't reply at work in case they trace me !)

3Ddonut- good luck with this decision. I did it for 6 months, for all my 4 dcs, and I also did it until age 7 for each of them (am still on dd3!) as we are in Switzerland where they don't start school until then. What I wasn't prepared for was the huge amount of self-discipline, patience and sheer energy it required. If you have those it can be wonderful. For everything else I agree with MB, who kindly spoke to me about it on my very first MN thread!
Discoverlife, to my mind, the thing about HE is that there are absolutely no "shoulds" or "shouldn'ts" at all! Some families are very regimented, and that works for them too

3D - answering for Muminscotland - yes she does :-)

And another perspective here, from the HE (that is, Higher Education) sector - Home Educated applicants tend to be viewed rather like mature ones as in "ooh, gosh, wow, I wonder whether we can persuade this person to come to us?" They tend to add so much to the community, in terms of motivation, self-determination, self-sufficiency, both intellectual and practical - it would be a definite positive for me in any UCAS form I saw, whether or not the actual qualifications were conventional. Another 2p worth.

Thanks emma ...

3D, yes I do now, but only for the last few months, and not because of any unhappiness with schools. So I'd never push anyone either towards or away from HE as an option, as I think it's very much down to what suits you as a family. I'd reassure you that any practical issues you have about HE are almost certainly solvable, and if you're significantly unhappy about schools in general or your DCs school in particular, that you can almost certainly do at least as well for your children with HE. But I can't/won't tell you that it's the right decision for you, because I won't be the one walking in your shoes for years to come.

Um, just thought I'd chuck the religious-HE hat in the ring. Trust me, no shortage of debating in our house. Yes, we believe in absolutes, but that doesn't equate to not understanding other viewpoints. (no ire in this response, btw, just thought I'd mention it)

Agree with MB.

FWIW, I want my children educated outside the domestic arena - I actively want them to experience a different setting, which HEdding by definition doesn't offer (yes I know you go out lots, but it's called Home Edding for a reason, it's based in the home); I want them to experience a range of different adults as well as children in their lives; and I also want them to spend time with the kids whose education is not of paramount importance to their parents, which again by definition HEdding won't provide.

Oh and also I do think there is benefit in doing stuff you're not madly keen on, because you may find it's useful and/or interesting later.

Actually motherinferior, I believe it is called home education only to distinuguish it from a school based education.

I would personally call it home based education.

Me and mine spend a lot less time in our home than my schooled nieces, through the summer. We are out at camps and gatherings and workshops and meetings soooo much.
My children also spend/spent loads of time staying over with friends.

I think that getting out and about is vitally important for us, as it would drive me -and them-mad if we were here all of the time.
But each to his own.

I am passionate that information that ACCURATE home based education is a legal viable option, should be out there, because then I believe every family can make an informed decision about what is best for their family at that time.

Home education has been the very best thing for our children.
Literally a life saver.
We have had a fabulous life, full of fun, since the day we deregistered them seven years ago. We have been totally autonomous and not made them do anything they haven't wanted to, and it has been hugely successful for us-for what it's worth I see little benefit in doing stuff you are not interested in-if you become interested/it becomes useful later-then you can learn about it later.

But as I said -each to his own.

I bow out.

3D - what is it about HE that you particularly like the idea of ?

And what is it about school that you are not liking ?

Interesting thread. Tbh, I would never dream of hoem edding my kids. For a start, I don't feel I have the right skills or qualifications to do it, and secondly I think kids learn so much more at school than just the curicculum.

Also, school is part of life, it is something imo that has to be done, and taking your kid out is well, not good I don't think. We all have to do things we don't want to or don't like at times - it's part of life.

Protecting kids from bullies of course I can understand that, but surly equipping our kids with the skills to handle this is better than removing them?

I was Home Educated and now that I have two children of my own am split because though i loved it and it was the right thing for me.. i think it depends on the child and what the schools are like near you.