Be honest, I want everyone's views......what do you think of home ed???

[3Ddonut]

I suspect this may get nasty, but please try to keep it nice ladies (and gents) I really like the idea of home ed, I would dearly love to home ed my dc but there are some problems, firstly I work 3 nights a week and my dh works 2 full days,my eldest dd is 5 and she really loves school, but some of things that she says about school unsettle me, I always said that it is their choice if they want to go to school or not, which is why she is there and my ds is in nursery but I wish she'd want to stay home and the longer that she's there, the more I feel that we're wasting time...

I've read a lot of the other threads and see that you can do some home-ed stuff alongside school but I don't think that it's enough for me, I want them to remain interested and not be moved on from one thing too quickly or forced to spend time on things they dislike.

We're already a close family because of mine and dh's shifts there is nearly always someone in the house and we get to spend a lot of time with the kids. I suppose I'd just like it to be more of the same.

My main concerns are that the dc would resent us for it in the future (although I would not take a happy child out of school) I also worry about the effect of home ed-ing the children would have on future employers and university places, I do worry about the socialisation aspect although the kids are in a few groups and are very social, they interact well with adults as well as other children, I'm concerned about how much time I'd have to work with them with working full time myself (no opportunity to cut hours)

I'm going round in circles at the min, I think my ds would be more open to the idea and I'm considering not sending dd2 to nursery at all.

The other biggie is that the school they attend is out of area and it's a really good one, they wouldn't get back in there if we deregistered, I've considered flexi-schooling but I feel that would bring more problems than solutions....

OK, Open fire!!!

I personally would not Home Ed because I want my children
to learn to be independent of me and their father
to meet people from a wide range of backgrounds
learn to cope in a variety of situations
learn the art of debating, negotiation, compromise, persuasion, meeting others half-way, resolving disagreements, reaching out to others,
develop using their judgement,view situations objectively and where appropriate subjectively,
learn that they will not get on with everybody all the time
learn that sometimes you have to work with people that you do not like

If they have problems at school, I will work to resolve them and if necessary, move schools. No way will I keep them at home because they have to learn to live in the wider world and not the cocoon that is the home, imo.

Everybody should do what is best for them. However, if I'm honest, I can't shake off the impression for many parents, home edding is about meeting their needs rather than that of their children, imo.

if dd struggled at school and was bullied then i would consider he.

i have no real problem with it if it is done well. i think there are cases when it can be a bit flaky but then sometimes primary/secondary education can be flaky too.

i loved primary, secondary was a bit of a trial at times. but.......... i met my husband through school (he was my friends brothers best friend) and however sad it might seem a large part of my social life is still very much tied up with the school i went too and the people i met there. my three closest friends were all in my class. therefore the social aspect of it is quite important but it is interesting to read about the groups that people are involved in to counteract this.

as some had said some people fit school - i am v academic and did not struggle with the work. my brother is not and did struggle

"I personally would not Home Ed because I want my children
to learn to be independent of me and their father
to meet people from a wide range of backgrounds
learn to cope in a variety of situations
learn the art of debating, negotiation, compromise, persuasion, meeting others half-way, resolving disagreements, reaching out to others,
develop using their judgement,view situations objectively and where appropriate subjectively,
learn that they will not get on with everybody all the time
learn that sometimes you have to work with people that you do not like"

IME, all those things are robustly covered at most HE groups, where the children have several hours of (mostly unsupervised) play.

not to mention it's part and parcel of living as a family.....

"I personally would not Home Ed because I want my children
to learn to be independent of me and their father
to meet people from a wide range of backgrounds
learn to cope in a variety of situations
learn the art of debating, negotiation, compromise, persuasion, meeting others half-way, resolving disagreements, reaching out to others,
develop using their judgement,view situations objectively and where appropriate subjectively,
learn that they will not get on with everybody all the time
learn that sometimes you have to work with people that you do not like"

And that just about covers all the reasons why my previously schooled children, wanted to be home educated-and seven years on have never, ever wanted to go back!

Each to his own.
Give parents accurate information about home education-including the fact that all of these areas are easily covered- and families will make an informed decision about what is best for their family at that time.

The OP asked for personal views so I gave it. Why won't the home edders accept that some of us have our own informed opinions about home ed? It seems to me that dissenters are jumped on and labelled automatically as misinformed (which is not always the case) when in fact they are just voicing their opinion based on their experience and information.

I didn't jump om you-I said each to his own-and I also said -give the family the correct accurate information and they will judge what is best for their family at that time.
Something I have been saying over and over in this thread-and something I passionately believe.

I have no reason to suppose that is not true of you-but I will jump in and say that all of the above can and is, covered by home ed in our case-and in the cases of the literally hundreds of home ed families that I know personally.

I am not school or school going family bashing.

Our children have been to school-the eldest until he was nearly 14-so I am in a position to be voicing my opinion on experiences in both the school AND the home ed situation.

As you are after general comments I thought maybe I would put my 2p's worth in as well. Before I start I had better set the scene. I dont even have kids yet, so do not have a side to take and am not planning to but probably lean towards the home edders "side"(I am ttc which is why I am hanging around on MN). I am 25 and grew up with the national curriculum, although SATS didnt kick in till year 9. Was training to be a primary school teacher till illness forced me to leave uni and have spent time working as a classroom assistant, so have a fair idea of what modern school entails (nc, numeracy and literacy hours etc). I will also state for the record that I enjoyed school and was never bullied. I also want to state that I strongly believe that some kids have great school experiences just as some kids have great home ed experiences.

Despite all that I am def not sending my 4 year old to school. Now I am not saying I am never sending them to school, that is a decision I can't even begin to make yet, but I feel very strongly that 4 is too young to put a child into a formal learning setting. I am also aware that our children are likely to be dyslexic and/or dysprasic (LOL, I can't spell those words!) as both DH and I are, so are my brother, sister and mother. Therefore I feel that they may initially struggle with basic reading and writing and I do not want them to be labelled "stupid" from so early an age and get dissolutioned. Additionally, as much as I enjoyed school I was a chronic under-acheiver (all my reports basically said "does well, could do better"). I went to a good schools but despite my dyslexia was bright and contiually under challenged and motivated. I know I would have acheived better academically at home then at school, because I seemed to perpetually get away with not actually doing any work at school! I also (through illness) spent all of year 11 out of school and although for 2 terms I was too ill to do any work, I managed a few hours a week for about 6-8 weeks before my GCSE's, I still managed to sit 3 GCSE's and get an A*, A and B (I had taken 2 a year early so had my, 5 to qualify for A levels) and went straight on to FE college the next year. You can just learn so much more at home!

I loved the social side of school, messing around with mates, burning biros on bunson burners etc but I think home ed done correctly can provide just as many social opportunites. When I look back honestly at my time at school I rarely hung out with the people I went to school with outside school. I did so many after school activities (rugby, swimming, orchestra, duke of edinburgh, voluntary work and youth theatre) that I was friends mostly from people from these places. I seemed to have clearly defined friends for different social situations. I am not friends with anyone I used to go to school with now, we never fell out, just stopped having much in common. I am, however, still friends with people I did my A levels with in an FE college (including DH) but I think that was due to going to a much larger grown up FE college (so having a greater circle of potential friends) and a much more mature attitude towards learning. And, don't forget there is nothing stopping a home ed kid deciding to go to college and many do exactly that.

I don't know what I am really trying to say 3D, only that school can be fun and you can learn there, some kids can even excel in school (although there will always be some kids that struggle) but despite that I think learning at home can be more fun and you can learn more, as long as you have the time, energy and enthusiasm to really go for it. Its a huge commitment. I think great home edding (not school at home) is often a better alternative to good schooling but it would be up to you and you alone to make it great. I think any parent can be just as effective as a teacher. I am not teacher bashing, as I said I was training to be one and some of my close friends are teachers, but I do remember how completely unprepared and unknowledgeable they felt when they started teaching, I would question how much more of an expert a teacher can be than an involved parent who is discovering with their child. I suppose it all comes down to whether you want that responsibilty or if you would rather leave it to teachers with their 1 year PGCE course to guide them and 30 other kids to teach!

My son has dyspraxia.

He is in school and has never been called stupid. His teachers have been instrumental in his progress this year which is substantial. they take the greatest care to maintain his self confidence and enjoyment of learning. He has 10 hours of 1 to 1 support each week.

Sorry that you felt unprepared and unknowledgable when you went into teaching. That was not my experience. I had a 4 year degree, 7 years of research, and 4 years of working in information provision, plus 5 years as a SAHM.

I felt very prepared. The children in my care benefit from that. Now they have the benefit of my having taught the subject many times over, each time leraning from the experience. And I'm not saying this to blow my own trumpet, this is true of many, many of the people I work with.

I seem to have offended you martian. It wasn't my plan, just offering an opinion, I thought they were all supposed to be welcome here. I don't have an agenda at all just offering my perspective.

I didn't say I felt unprepared, I never went into teaching in the end, I am speaking of a couple of my good friends who really did feel that their 10 month PGCE did leave them with a lot of gaps and 3 years into teaching they are only just beginning to find their feet. I also clearly stated that I was not teacher bashing, I have met and observed great teachers, just as I have me and observed some truly bad teaching. I am not questioning your teaching ability, and I must say you are a highly qualified teacher which is not the norm. I have one good friend that went into teaching simply because she couldn't get a job after her 2:2 in media studies from a second rate uni and the PCGE was funded. I also have a friend who did a Geography degree followed by a PGCE and is in her second year as a secondary school teacher and this year she is teaching history to cover maternity leave (she doesn't even have a history A level). I know more about the subject than she does, she is always asking me for my input when she is planning lessons! I am aware that not all teachers are like this (my MIL is a teacher and is fantastic at her job, I have observed her teach in the pupil referal unit where she works)there are many truly excellent teachers but teachers are a very mixed bag of experience, dedication and ability. So IMO, if you take an average of that (a good but not stunning teacher) I do think a dedicated parent could do just as good a job and if there was a subject where they wanted additional specialised input they could send their child to a tutor or summer school.

I also think its fantastic that you have found a supportive school for your sons educatinal needs, you are truly lucky, for so many other children this is not the case.

sorry lots of typos, I am supposed to be working .

What I am struggling to understand is why this thread (as with others re home edding) keeps getting so aggressive. I know this is an emotive discussion, with both sides feeling under attack but I think debate is healthy. Plus, many people are actually in both camps, some kids at school, some at home, some a combination of both. Surely everyone here acknowledges the merits of either decision and no one wants their opinions to be under attack. HOWEVER, that does not mean that people cannot question what each other say, in fact I think they should, particularly as there are a lot of myths about home ed, which many people had assumed were correct and I am grateful to see counter view points being made and vice versa there are some truly great school experiences. I don't think people should be offended by that, if someone states something which someone else disagrees with they should give their opinion too but that doesn't mean they should be agressive or the poster should see it as an agressive act if someone disagrees with them. It is only by these counter arguments that some of the real issues regarding home ed and possible solutions come to light. I would love to take part in an reasonable debate with pros and cons of BOTH SIDES being voiced but I do not want to be worried about voicing an opinion, just as I must accept people can and will disagree with what I say. I just wish we could all stay friends at the same time!

We have managed a couple of threads lately which stayed as debates rather than arguments - you could restart this one if you want to debate some more. But I guess it is about the most fundamental decision we make for our children, once you get past childbirth / breast v bottle / weaning, so it does tend to bring out strong feelings on both sides...

It is also important to remember that teachers only teach one specialist subject at secondary school. At primary school (my background) one teacher teaches all subjects, most of which they are no more knowledgeable about than any other person. Yes they have learnt "how to teach", classroom stratergies, behaviour managment, how to write copious lesson plans based on the nc, literacy and numeracy stratergies. They also gain experience through the years and observing other teachers (just as you would teaching at home/out and about with other home edders). Most of that though is irrelevant in a 1 to 1 child centred learning approach. If your aim is to facilitate, discover with your child, help them gain the skills so they can study independantly then you dont need "to teach". Home ed done well seems to be (from what I have read, I have no personal experience) more about helping your child to discover the world and the joy of learning, it is not about teaching.

So certainly at a primary level I am confidant I could do the job just as well, I am not sure I could at a secondary level, I have not tried it yet so I would not know.

My children may also want to go to school in which case they will and as I have already said I will be keeping an open mind on when/if my children go to school.

No, you've not upset me in the slightest.

I'm genuinely sorry that you felt so unprepared in your PGCE, that must have been an anxious time.

I posted what I did to highlight that experiences of school differ. Some are good, some are bad. My son's have been, thankfully, very good.

That's all.

There was no aggression in my message, in the slightest.

sorry, typo on my part, that your friends felt unprepared.

Hi Mum in Scotland. I understand, for many its a lifestyle choice and its a bit like some of my Christain friends feel if anyone questions their faith.

Thats good martian, would hate to think I have offended you. It is good to here positive stories.

the thing is, though, I know that I get better at teaching every time I teach a subject.

If you home ed, you are only going to 'do' a subject a few times. The chance that you have to improve, to refine your explanatory skills is more limited.

Today, for example, what the 5th time I've taught organisation of the nervous system to a sixth form. based on what I remembered from last time, I used a model of the protective effect of the fluid around the brain, using an egg in water in a jar. I didn't do it last time, and felt that the lesson was missing a little something. Next year I'll build on it again.

We all get better at things the more often we do them. I'll fully admit the student teacher often have a lot of learn , I did! But teachers learn and get better. Parent 'facilitators' have less chance to do this, because they don't do is as often.

and in the end facilitation does often involve explanation. you don't get a child to learn to knot by just giving them the wool and pins, do you? You have to explain it. Its down to terminology I suppose, you may prefer 'facilitate' I see it as teaching, but it comes down to the same thing don't you think?

I really can't type today either

to knit, not knot!

It seems that the people who are so adamant that school is the best option, have had a great school education themselves or are in a fantastic school environment.

I do value your oppinions MB but I am aware that you are the exception rather than the norm unfortunatley. I think I may like to attend your lessons!

I'm reading all of your comments with great interest and thankyou so much for taking the time to post them! I suppose the biggest thing that I've taken from this, is that for us, HE would be a lifestyle choice that we would find preferable, I suppose if you want to pigeon-hole us, you could file us under 'hippy'!!!! I will not take my children out of school while they are happy there, we have no particular gripes with school but I am getting increasingly worried about the dreaded SATS. It just seems there's not enough time in the day to go to school as well!! There are many things that we would like to do as a family and never seem to get around to doing them as we're all so busy, a change of pace would be good and I think that educating the children at home would do that, we would be able to go to our local botanical gardens and see the way things change from week to week rather than every few months (they close at 3.30pm) we would find the time to do the crafty projects for calendar events that we never seem to get to do now, I know that I will get jumped on for my comments, but to me, that would be ideal.

You do have a valid point martian. Explanation will always be needed, you do have to be able to communicate effectively. I have met many great communicators who are not teachers and many teachers who despite great subject knowledge are awful communicators. A good example would be when I was at secondary school in year 9 I had a great Maths teacher. The whole class got 7 and 8s in our SATS. She was young and inexperienced but was a brilliant communictor, so a great teacher. In year 10 we had a different teacher, he was awful at explaining any concepts. In our end of year exams we did worse than we had in our SATS the year before because he managed to confuse us!

What I suppose I also meant was that you don't need to have all the answers, there must be a great joy in the "shall we find out together" style of learning.

good luck with ttc playingthewaitinggame

I really don't think that I'm the exception.

I'm not the best teacher in the department I work in, or even in my family!

My brother is a much better teacher than I am!