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Original poster

Husband and I are going away for a week... how much to pay the babysitter?

394 replies

LondonLisa · 10/02/2010 12:02

My husband and I will be going on our first holiday away from our 22-month-old daughter. We have someone from her nursery staying with her for the 7 days we are away. This will mean the sitter will take our daughter home from nursery (6-ish) and stay all night and bring her to nursery the next day. Repeat. This will also overlap 2 weekends.
Any idea what fair pay would be? I don't want to skimp but I also don't want to be... ostentatious, if that makes sense.
We usually pay this sitter £8/hr if that helps.
Any suggestions are appreciated.

OP posts:
Openbook · 10/02/2010 12:07

This is a wind up - right?

ditavonteesed · 10/02/2010 12:09

I havee an idea, take your child on holiday.

LittleOneMum · 10/02/2010 12:10

I'm so glad you said that Openbook. I didn't want to be the first...

princessmel · 10/02/2010 12:13

I think it's probably real.

I know people who have done this but left child with nanny all week.

/maybe grandparents aren't available.

Not what I'd do but hey ho.

Spidermama · 10/02/2010 12:14

I think a week is a long time to leave a 22 month old with a 'sitter' unless she is a really good, trusted, long term friend who gets on exeptionally well with your dd.

Is there no grandma or aunt who can have her? Or couldn't you take her with you?

If not then I'd say absolute minimum of £100 per day because she'll be on call 24 hours a day! It's a lot to ask of someone.

BunnyLebowski · 10/02/2010 12:14

You have got to be kidding me???

snigger · 10/02/2010 12:19

Gosh, no, don't be ostentatious with someone who's living in your home with your only child for a week. That would be awful.

How well do you know this sitter?

Are you sure they won't be lying on the sofa at night with DH's pants on their face, scratching themselves with your spare toothbrush?

Is this really your only option?

Original poster
LondonLisa · 10/02/2010 12:20

Hi,
I guess I should add context here for everyone who thinks this in not genuine. We are expats from the US living in the UK. We do not have family here and our friends are not in a position to help out. My mother offered to come and stay but has fallen ill, terminally.
We take our daughter on holiday a lot: she's been to many 4 countries in Europe and back to the US numerous times.

I have never left her for a night. I think it's time.
If you disagree with me that's fine but I don't think those comments are necessarily helpful in answering my question.

OP posts:
GetOrfMoiLand · 10/02/2010 12:20

Would not leave a kid this age with a babysitter actually.

OK she is someone from nursery so your DC knows her. BUt is this arrangement actually organised via your Nursery, or is it an ad-hoc arrangement made direct with the nursery worker? And if it is ad-hoc does the nursery know about it?

Is there no family or closer friends you could ask to have your DC? Because I don't think that a babysitter is the best option tbh. Not for what amounts to ten days away.

Plus, if you have made this arrangement already, how on earth have you managed to agree it without sorting the price. Who would agree to do this in principle without dicussing terms up front? Unless the said babysitter is a young girl, in which case I think it is even more a bad idea tbh.

GetOrfMoiLand · 10/02/2010 12:21

Cross posts.

If you have never left your dd for even a night, I don't think the best way to introduce the concept is by leaving her for 10 days.

LowLevelWhingeing · 10/02/2010 12:22

I don't think the issue is that your DD should be experiencing travelling the world...I think people are wondering about leaving her for such a long time with a 'sitter'. If it were close relatives or friends then yes. But a sitter??

muminthecity · 10/02/2010 12:23

Couldn't you shorten the holiday a bit? Does it have to be seven days? Seven days is a lifetime to a one year old who's never been away from her mummy for a single night before.

BunnyLebowski · 10/02/2010 12:23

You have never left her for a single night? From that starting point you're going to leave her with a nursery worker for 7 days? Your baby is 22 months old?

Completely and totally bonkers.

themildmanneredjanitor · 10/02/2010 12:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AitchTwoOhOneOh · 10/02/2010 12:24

i'm sorry to hear about your mum but think that 22 months is WILDLY too young to be left with a non-family member for that length of time. i think you're crackers, tbh.

LowLevelWhingeing · 10/02/2010 12:25

at her going for a big long wee TMMJ!

NeedCoffee · 10/02/2010 12:25

Bloody Hell, judgy judgy. Op didn't post in AIBU, answer the question or ignore the thread!

OP-I've no idea tbh, assume she will still be getting paid as usual in the day so...if you paid her £8 per hour for @14 extra hours a day-£112x7=£784. Have you asked her what she's expecting to be paid?

Spidermama · 10/02/2010 12:25

10 days is a really long time for one person to be responsible for a 22 month old who isn't there's and isn't even related to them. It's tough enough for a mum as we all know.

How about saving the sitter's money, taking your dd with you but making sure you can get some time away while you're there ... some kind of creche or play activities for her?

Sorry about your mum.

Portofino · 10/02/2010 12:26

I wouldn't leave a child that age for a week either. Why is it "time"?

theyoungvisiter · 10/02/2010 12:27

"I have never left her for a night. I think it's time."

Yes, for a night, fair enough. But for a week when she's never been away from you - don't you think that's a little abrupt?

I'm sorry - I don't mean to be judgey but I have to agree with the others on here, I don't think this is appropriate unless the child has a genuine, strong bond with the sitter, and the sitter is someone you would trust to a) make life or death decisions in the event of something going wrong and b) look after your child longer term if there are hiccups your end.

I am not one for indulging in unlikely "what ifs" but really it's not that far-fetched that one of you might break a leg and be unable to travel, or there might be a security clamp down, or a strike.

AitchTwoOhOneOh · 10/02/2010 12:27

lol, needcoffee..

okay... i think the sum i'd be looking to pay her is More Than All The Money In The World.

rosieposey · 10/02/2010 12:27

I think that she should be paid an 'ostentatious' amount of money given that she is looking after your very precious baby for quite a long time.

To be honest a child that age unless being left with a very close family member that you trust implicitly and your baby knows should be going with you. You will probably be no different than alot of mums on here who don't have anyone that they can leave their baby with.

tartyhighheels · 10/02/2010 12:27

I am honestly quite shocked that you would leave a child of this age for such a long time. I too have no one that babysits for me. I don't have parents or siblings and my oldest has illnesses that makes just handing her on to anyone incredibly difficult. Mine are 8 and 6 and 14 months and as much as we would love it, we would not dream of doing this.

If you really have to get away, what about a weekend?

You might think I am judging you, and you would be right, this is an awful thing to do.

muminthecity · 10/02/2010 12:27

Are you planning to prepare your DD for this? Will you be leaving her overnight with the babysitter before you go, just to see how she is?

Bicnod · 10/02/2010 12:27

LOL at going away for a wee

I really don't think leaving your DD with a sitter for over a week is a good idea. If she's never been away from you overnight how do you think it will make her feel when you're suddenly not there for an extended period of time? Children can have full blown grief reactions if they are away from their main care giver for a long time. Why can't you take her with you?