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Original poster

Husband and I are going away for a week... how much to pay the babysitter?

394 replies

LondonLisa · 10/02/2010 12:02

My husband and I will be going on our first holiday away from our 22-month-old daughter. We have someone from her nursery staying with her for the 7 days we are away. This will mean the sitter will take our daughter home from nursery (6-ish) and stay all night and bring her to nursery the next day. Repeat. This will also overlap 2 weekends.
Any idea what fair pay would be? I don't want to skimp but I also don't want to be... ostentatious, if that makes sense.
We usually pay this sitter £8/hr if that helps.
Any suggestions are appreciated.

OP posts:
AitchTwoOhOneOh · 10/02/2010 12:29

and at not wanting to pay an 'ostentatious' amount. what a fucked-up set of priorities.

NeedCoffee · 10/02/2010 12:29

By the way, not saying I agree that it's a good idea, I left my DD's for 3 nights at weekend asnd it nearly killed me! But that wasn't what the op asked about.

Lymond · 10/02/2010 12:30

Can't you go away for a weekend? this seems really extreme. I actually don't think ss would be massively happy about an under 2 year old being left for that length of time with anyone other than a close relative. However, they would only find out if there was an accident or anything while you were away, which is obviously unlikely.

About pay; I'm surprised she's agreed to do it without hearing what you'll pay her first. I guess she assumes £8 p.h.

Incidentally, are the nursery happy with this arrangement? Usually they can phone you if there is a medical emergency with your DD... while you're away they would have to send the nursery worker home with her if she get ill, thereby losing a member of staff for the rest of the day.

Kewcumber · 10/02/2010 12:31

if OP is American then she is using "babysitter" in the American sense ie anyone who looks afetr a child inlcuding childminders, qualified nursery staff etc. Whereas we in UK tend to use the term babysitter to mean (often) young teenage girl.

My CM charges £50 for ten hour day (ie £5 per hour) then double time for overnights.

However I can't resist agreeing with others (though perhaps more mildly) that whilst 22 months may be time to start leaving her with others overnight, 10 days is a VERY long time for a not even 2 year old to be left when she's only been left overnight once before.

I sympathise with your lack of suitable family support but to be honest I would have left DS with my mum (who he adores) for 10 days. Is teh "holiday" to go and see you mother?

skinsl · 10/02/2010 12:31

Can I just say, DD might know the nursery worker better than she knows her grandparents, or anyone else besides the parents.
If you feel comfortable with the arrangement, then it's up to you.
But agree with other comments, should you not have agreed on the price when you agreed on the arrangement?

Kewcumber · 10/02/2010 12:31

sorry 7 days not 10.

3cutedarlings · 10/02/2010 12:33

yup far far to you to be left with a sitter for 10 days!! babies of this age have no concept of time whatsoever!! she is to young to understand that you are away on holiday and will be coming back. Sorry to say this but your DD will think that you have left her . IMO you need to take her with you and look for hotels with good childcare, at least that way you would get a break.

Ripeberry · 10/02/2010 12:33

Good grief! Take your baby with you! We have two children and the eldest will be 8yrs old this June.
I have NEVER had even one night away (a few evenings).
We have no relatives that can have them overnight, so we take them everywhere with us.
Maybe I'm just jealous

theyoungvisiter · 10/02/2010 12:33

I know it isn't what she asked needcoffee - but as far as most people are concerned, she's asking an impossible question.

Ok - to answer the question - what would I pay someone to look after my child for a week?

Honestly?

NOTHING.

Because I wouldn't leave a child for that long with someone who was primarily doing it for the money. If they don't love the child enough to do it for free, I don't want them to do it.

Kewcumber · 10/02/2010 12:34

"Incidentally, are the nursery happy with this arrangement? Usually they can phone you if there is a medical emergency with your DD... while you're away they would have to send the nursery worker home with her if she get ill, thereby losing a member of staff for the rest of the day."

Good point - I hadn't thought of that.

Rubyrubyruby · 10/02/2010 12:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AitchTwoOhOneOh · 10/02/2010 12:36

you should judge her on 'i feel it's time', which is palpably a moronic thing to say.
what about the child's feelings, never having been left before?

hobbgoblin · 10/02/2010 12:36

the going rate is approx 150 per 24hrs

there are regulations re. proxy parenting that mean such a situation may need to be registered as a 'fostering' arrangement.

rosieposey · 10/02/2010 12:37

This doesn't add up anyway. I am surprised that a nursery worker would be prepared to enter into a private arrangement or agreement with you or that the nursery would back this.

I am also surprised as quite a few other posters have said that it has been agreed without talk of any money, and lastly (as again other posters have pointed out) if you are not used to leaving her at all what on earth would possess you to leave her for such a long time AND with someone who is not a close relative.

Sorry if you are for real especially with regards to your mum but if you stepped back a little and looked at it the way most people are who are reading this thread it all seems a bit because there is no one else who would consider doing what you are under the auspices that you are. Sorry it just seems like a wind up because its so unlikely.

Ripeberry · 10/02/2010 12:38

Also, just remember, that people you meet on holiday may think you are strange if you say you have a child, but you left them at home, especially if you are not working abroad.
This happened to my DH, he went to Costa Rica when our first child was only 16 months and he was kept beings asked why did he go on holiday without his wife and child?
They all thought he was really mean and selfish.

ditavonteesed · 10/02/2010 12:40

Looking at the really long wee!!!! I think that is about the most I managed when my dd was so little. And a baby does not give a monkeys how many European countries it has been to, It cares where it's mummy is.
And I am being judgey because my dh's parents did this to him. He would never dream off us going anywhere for more than a night without the dc and he can't understand why his parents did it to him.

Original poster
LondonLisa · 10/02/2010 12:46

Thanks for those of you who helped out with my original question. The rest of you gave me things to think about.

If I could close the topic I would at this point.

OP posts:
Rubyrubyruby · 10/02/2010 12:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AitchTwoOhOneOh · 10/02/2010 12:47

tbh i hope you radically rethink your plans here. i hope things go as well as they can with your mum.

themildmanneredjanitor · 10/02/2010 12:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

notyummy · 10/02/2010 12:49

Mmm, I don't have an issue with anyone wanting a break with their DP (DH and I are having 4 nights away from 3 year old dd at Easter whilst she goes easter egg hunting etc with GPs and her cousin, so I am not whiter than white myself!!) A week does seem like a long time at this age - couldn't you just make it 2/3 nights?

Have a look at the emergency nanny/childcare websites and see what rates they charge - they have overnight rates I think, and that may give you a ballpark figure.

Quintessential12belowZero · 10/02/2010 12:50

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theyoungvisiter · 10/02/2010 12:52

Quint - I think that was below the belt.

Rubyrubyruby · 10/02/2010 12:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Quintessential12belowZero · 10/02/2010 12:57

FGS, call a spade a spade. 22 month old, left for 10 days with a member of staff from her nursery. It is either a windup or sick.

It is literally abandoning a baby. That is how the poor child is going to feel like. It is incredibly stupid to think this will work. The poor mite might think the parents are NEVER coming back.

When ds1 (now 7) was that age, he did not comprehend that dh had to go abroad for work for long periods of time. He was asking for him every day. He was so sad. He would go to the front door and shout "daddy" out into the dark. He would even look under the staircase....