My 17yo daughter is upset I didn’t invite her on the annual family holiday

[OliveKoala]

Is it reasonable I did not invite my eldest 17 year old daughter on the family holiday. She has been on every previous family holiday with us however this year as she’s is finishing with Alevels she’s booked two holidays as rewards for her efforts, her first holiday has been completely self funded, where as her second holiday I offered to pay for the flights.

Due to her already having two holidays booked I thought it’d be unfair if she came on the family holiday aswell. Unless she paid for it, which I’m aware she can’t do as her job pays extremely poorly. A few months ago we had a discussion as a family about the idea of a family holiday and briefly arose the possibility of her not coming due to it overlapping with her holidays. However no further progress was made.

This morning I booked the holiday however before I booked it I did ask her when her holidays ended, so she would be back for when the family holiday happens. However this led her to believe we wanted her back so she could join us on the holiday? However this is not the case I just didn’t want our holidays to overlap for practical reasons. Now she seems visibly hurt and has argued with me calling me unreasonable?

I’d discuss whether she wanted to come but wouldn’t dream of not assuming she would come on a family holiday! So what if she’s got two already booked. I think the overwhelming response you’ve had on here shows you just how unreasonable you have been.

I would’ve been absolutely devastated if my mother had done this to me. This is how you fracture a relationship. Can just imagine you back here in 10years wondering why you never see your daughter 🤯

I hope she gets to choose your care home.

There's been no further response from the op...it was either a wind up, she's embarrassed no one's taken her side or she just thinks she's right and everyone else is wrong.

This 👆

This 👆
OP may be jealous of the fact that DD has already got 2 holidays under her belt.
If OP doesn't realise she's being out of order, she will soon get the message when her daughter distances herself after this.

Besides your poor grammar, you seem to have a lack of comprehension. She is 17, not 37.

The fact she is nearly an adult doesn't make her less of a family member....

DD has probably moved in with her boyfriend’s family by now.

I'm 59 and my dad takes me on family holidays!

This can’t be real!!!

Any updates on this?
Did the daughter join OP and the golden sons on the family holiday?
Or was she relegated to Blighty for practical reasons? Whatever they may be? 🤔

I remember an old saying my mum told me: "A son is a son 'til he gets a wife, but a daughter is a daughter all her life."
Some mothers don't remember that old saying, and then wonder what they did wrong, as the daughter grows up, walks away, goes NC and later on chucks the mum in a nursing home when shes elderly as the sons are nowhere to be seen.
Aww well. 🤷‍♀️