Dad won't give consent letter for my daughter as he is bitter

[KindExpert]

Hi I have booked a holiday to Egypt for October 2024 with my daughter who lives with me. And only sees him when her can be bothered in all fairness. I told my ex partner back in January about the trip and he was fine with it. He hasn't been paying child support for over 7 months so I've decided to go down the csa route. He isn't happy about this and out of spite has now decided he won't give a consent letter unless I cancel the csa. I haven't mentioned anything about this to my daughter because I don't want to upset her as she's quite an emotional person and this will affect her. I have her birth certificate. Me and my ex both have custody of her so I feel this will be a issue when traveling. Can anyone help

How old is DD?

I've travelled with my DD numerous times and never been asked for any proof or consent from absent parent

Shes 14

I’d cancel the child support application after he has put his signature on the consent letter, then I’d reactivate it after the holiday.

Two can play at that game.

Whilst I know it can happen, it’s really not a given and you are more likely to travel without any issues.

Thank you that's a piece of mind.

If you're the resident parent you can take your dc out of the country for 28 days without permission

Well since her ex knows about the trip and is refusing consent out of spite, he is likely to call up and claim his DD’s passport to be lost/stolen to prevent OP from travelling with her DD if she just goes ahead anyway.

Whilst not separated from my DC's father, when they were younger we weren't married and they had a different (his) surname from me. I travelled abroad with them solo a few times and always took their birth certificates with me. Only once were we stopped and they were both asked who I was and they said "Mummy" and that was it. Never had to produce the birth certificate.

This is financial abuse and probably would be covered by coercive control if he's written that he will allow her to go, but only if you cancel your CSA application.

Just worth keeping in mind.

My sister has a different surname to her children and recently travelled with them. She had a letter of consent from their dad, but the passport control guy barely glanced at it, and said anyone could've written that! He said next time you travel bring a copy of their birth certificates.

Yes I have a gut feeling this is what he'll do. Crazy thing is, is that it's his daughter who's missing out.

Not sure this would apply to OP as she said they both “have custody”.

“You can take a child abroad for 28 days without getting permission if a child arrangement order says the child must live with you, unless a court order says you can’t.”

Yep, selfish and spiteful isn’t it.

I travel abroad with my 2 children every year (they have different surnames to me). I take a copy of their birth certificates but have not once been asked to show them. This year at passport control coming back in to the UK the guy asked my son (10) who I was to him, my son said 'my Mum' and then we walked through!

Totally. I have everything in text messages regarding him blackmailing me. Even messages from him to my daughter saying get mum to drop the csa if you want to go on holiday. I've kept all the messages.

Not true, only if you have a child arrangements order

HOWEVER OP I've taken DS out of the country hundreds of times and never been asked. You'll probably get away with it. Or you could apply to court for a specific issue order that you'll probably be granted.

That wouldn't actually do anything. He'd have to apply to court for an order to prevent her leaving, not just report the passport lost or stolen.

Ah hah, yeah it would. Obviously you’ve never had this happen to you.
If he goes online, and cancels the passport by reporting it lost/stolen, the passport then can’t be used to travel on. It will fail at the predeparture checks.

Both ex & I have taken DC out of the country without a consent letter multiple times & never been an issue.
If he tries to cancel the passport that could be an issue I presume.

Will he need her passport number? If so he doesn't have it as I recently just updated her passport so he has no details about it apart from her name

Do you have time to apply for a new passport, one he doesn’t know about, and take her anyway?

This.

He would need to be the person who applied for the passport . You’re fine.

I don’t know if he needs the passport number. I wouldn’t imagine so. I bet tons of people lose their passport and don’t have the number recorded anywhere.