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Original poster

Dad won't give consent letter for my daughter as he is bitter

181 replies

KindExpert · 04/09/2024 19:50

Hi I have booked a holiday to Egypt for October 2024 with my daughter who lives with me. And only sees him when her can be bothered in all fairness. I told my ex partner back in January about the trip and he was fine with it. He hasn't been paying child support for over 7 months so I've decided to go down the csa route. He isn't happy about this and out of spite has now decided he won't give a consent letter unless I cancel the csa. I haven't mentioned anything about this to my daughter because I don't want to upset her as she's quite an emotional person and this will affect her. I have her birth certificate. Me and my ex both have custody of her so I feel this will be a issue when traveling. Can anyone help

OP posts:
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6
SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 04/09/2024 20:20

GuestFeatu · 04/09/2024 20:18

He would need to be the person who applied for the passport . You’re fine.

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Is this new?

Original poster
KindExpert · 04/09/2024 20:21

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 04/09/2024 20:18

I don’t know if he needs the passport number. I wouldn’t imagine so. I bet tons of people lose their passport and don’t have the number recorded anywhere.

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Ok I have just looked on the gov website and went to lost/ stolen procedure as if I was him. He didn't sign the passport. As it was myself. Then I will be contacted in regards to it.

OP posts:
Hepherlous · 04/09/2024 20:22

Six years of travelling abroad with mine and not once have we been asked for father's letter of consent. My name is different from theirs. Same too for when they've traveled with him. I understood legal position was he'd need a court order to stop you - a prohibited steps order (but not 100% on that though)

ButterCrackers · 04/09/2024 20:22

Cancel the holiday. Get the child support back in place. Would you want him taking your dd on holidays without your permission? Answer is no. You’ll get financial support back. You can then seek legal advice on his holiday permission refusal.

Geekygeek · 04/09/2024 20:23

Having played with the online cancellation form, he’d be making a lot of false statements to get it cancelled, also asks if the other parent would be available to confirm.

www.loststolenpassport.service.gov.uk/lost-stolen/passport-holder

MeThinksTime · 04/09/2024 20:25

Isthisreasonable · 04/09/2024 19:57

If you're the resident parent you can take your dc out of the country for 28 days without permission

This is correct and all you need to know.

YouLookinSusBro · 04/09/2024 20:30

Another one who was never asked, I didn't even take their birth certificates as it didn't cross my mind - really should have done as they have his name. However their father wasn't in the picture at all and I never considered it would be an issue.

GuestFeatu · 04/09/2024 20:30

MeThinksTime · 04/09/2024 20:25

This is correct and all you need to know.

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It's not correct! It's only correct if there is a child arrangements order in place. Otherwise legally and technically permission of everyone with PR is needed to take a child out of the country.

Netaporter · 04/09/2024 20:30

I’m not divorced but do have a different surname to DD. I have been stopped more than once when it was just DD and I travelling and asked for sight of a permission letter. For context we are both white British. We were asked both times on the return journey.

Original poster
KindExpert · 04/09/2024 20:33

ButterCrackers · 04/09/2024 20:22

Cancel the holiday. Get the child support back in place. Would you want him taking your dd on holidays without your permission? Answer is no. You’ll get financial support back. You can then seek legal advice on his holiday permission refusal.

If he wanted to take my daughter away which he has done in the past I have no issue with it. I've written him a consent letter in the past even when things had been quiet toxic. It's mine and his issue not our child. I can't cancel the holiday. Me and my daughter need it. I just want to family time with her.

OP posts:
DadJoke · 04/09/2024 20:33

I think if you stop talking about asking permission, move on with your CSA application, you will be fine.

A malicious cancellation of a passport is a criminal offence, and they will get you a replacement passport with the same expiry date if you report it. You would need to inform the police. You can check with the passport office to see if the passport has been cancelled.

www.gov.uk/government/publications/passport-cancellations-malicious-lost-and-stolen-reports/passport-cancellations-malicious-lost-and-stolen-reports-accessible

HornyHornersPinger · 04/09/2024 20:36

You don't need anyone's consent as long as the trip isn't longer than 28 days

ButterCrackers · 04/09/2024 20:36

KindExpert · 04/09/2024 20:33

If he wanted to take my daughter away which he has done in the past I have no issue with it. I've written him a consent letter in the past even when things had been quiet toxic. It's mine and his issue not our child. I can't cancel the holiday. Me and my daughter need it. I just want to family time with her.

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You have both have parental responsibility for your daughter? If so you need the permission of the father of your daughter.

Lavenderfields21 · 04/09/2024 20:38

I've travelled loads with my DD. They really don't bat an eyelid once they're over 10 - less chance of you trying to kidnap her!

Feebeedeebee · 04/09/2024 20:39

Are there any court orders in place? When I applied for my DDs passport I had to send the court paperwork I had which included the specification that I can take her out without permission but he needs written permission from me. I'd assume her passport would then trigger some kind of check? But I could obviously be way off the mark.

scotstars · 04/09/2024 20:39

I have taken my son abroad experiences hav included him being quizzed as to who I am, does dad know where's he's going, other times nothing said, sometimes asked for proof of consent or birth certificate. I wouldn't chance going without it

socks1107 · 04/09/2024 20:39

I took my daughters out the country lots and was only stopped once. They looked at the birth certificates and then let us through. I had a different surname to my daughters and was never asked for a consent letter in 14 years.

Go on holiday and ignore him. Keep the cms claim open

dementedpixie · 04/09/2024 20:43

@KindExpert you could go to court to get permission or get a child arrangement order in place

Original poster
KindExpert · 04/09/2024 20:43

Feebeedeebee · 04/09/2024 20:39

Are there any court orders in place? When I applied for my DDs passport I had to send the court paperwork I had which included the specification that I can take her out without permission but he needs written permission from me. I'd assume her passport would then trigger some kind of check? But I could obviously be way off the mark.

No that makes sense. There isn't any court orders yet. I'm just going to chance it. I have her birth certificate and proof she lives with me. Her passport also has my address written on the back. If that ask her at customs she will say I'm her mum ( I hope) lol. Also my partner of 10 years with our other daughter who's 7.

OP posts:
Blueblell · 04/09/2024 20:45

I would carry on with the claim and the holiday. I have always travelled alone with my children. I have never been asked if I have permission and oddly you only get questioned coming into the country. As others have said the passport officer may ask your DD who she is travelling with and you may be asked for a birth certificate. The purpose of this though I believe is to identify trafficked children.

Starlightstarbright3 · 04/09/2024 20:45

GuestFeatu · 04/09/2024 20:30

It's not correct! It's only correct if there is a child arrangements order in place. Otherwise legally and technically permission of everyone with PR is needed to take a child out of the country.

Show quote history

This is actually accurate .. You can apply to court for permission .

lots of people saying they have never been asked however if he reports he hasn’t given permission . You could be charged with kidnapping .

There is a way to apply through courts . Either post in legal or contact a solicitor .. do it sooner with the time frame

Original poster
KindExpert · 04/09/2024 20:46

socks1107 · 04/09/2024 20:39

I took my daughters out the country lots and was only stopped once. They looked at the birth certificates and then let us through. I had a different surname to my daughters and was never asked for a consent letter in 14 years.

Go on holiday and ignore him. Keep the cms claim open

Thank you for your input 🙂.

OP posts:
Treeinthesky · 04/09/2024 20:48

Tbh If you try and cancel they ring you to ensure he isn't truing to.blackmail you!

TheaBrandt · 04/09/2024 20:53

We were hauled over the coals at the French ferry port in 2022 both ways. Our two teen girls were questioned seriously by border control asking if we were their parents - we are a bog standard family with same name and all travelling together. Was abit disconcerting but we wondered if they were particularly careful with teen girls due to trafficking etc.

Mummyoflittledragon · 04/09/2024 20:54

Can you get a court order? This would be the most prudent thing to do.

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