Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Holidays

Use our Travel forum for recommendations on everything from day trips to the best family-friendly holiday destinations.

Original poster

Would you pay for your adult child to come on holiday?

169 replies

jimjan · 19/07/2023 08:43

Our daughter is 23 and just finishing her medical degree. No time to work so she doesn’t earn anything. She still comes on family holidays. We pay her rent. This is the last year before she works.

She has a week off over the summer, and dh wants her to come home and cat sit (she did offer) but that’s because she can’t afford to do anything else. I think we should pay for the cat sitter like usual, and take her away with us. We have booked a one bedroom apartment in Minorca that has a sofa bed. Dd has seen flights for £100 which she could pay for. My dh is fed up and says he won’t pay for her to have another holiday, as her grandparents recently paid for her elective to south america.

Would you take your adult child on holiday?

OP posts:
nonman · 19/07/2023 14:43

Yep , we pay for DC. one was a medical student, now an overworked underpaid Dr trying to save up. The other one has a bit more cash but we treat them the same. To be honest, our kids coming on holiday with us, is one of the highlights of our year. We all get on well together and have a great time. I also book cheaper holidays than I would if it was just the two of us.

Self catering off season.

ssd · 19/07/2023 14:43

jimjan · 19/07/2023 09:48

Ah too late now! The cat sitter has just confirmed that someone has now booked her up for that week as she had kept it free just incase. Too late now, we will need dd to cat sit for us.

Dh has always been a bit of a tight fisted sod when it comes to paying for dd

Nice man you have there....

I'd take DD and bin him.

saraclara · 19/07/2023 14:46

I don't get what you'd have to pay for anyway. The apartment is already booked and paid for surely, and she'd pay for her own flight.
What costs did your DH think there'd be @jimjan ?

Dontletsummerend · 19/07/2023 14:46

I think because she’s already had one big holiday with you this year and you pay her rent it’s not about money. It’s about having her along in a one bed apartment.
Will you be invited on her holidays?

BadSkiingMum · 19/07/2023 14:50

I know that you have now run into problems with cat sitting but this is a time when your DD will be coming into contact with a huge number of external influences and will begin seeing you more objectively as ‘people’, as well as her parents. Dozens of threads on MN show that small incidents within families - even if decisions are made for very sensible and practical reasons - can cause resentment and damage years down the line.

I would really recommend that your DH avoid the appearance of meanness if at all possible. At least offer to take her, if she can help you find an alternative cat sitter.

MeridaBrave · 19/07/2023 21:09

Yes, we can afford it. But planned in advance.

Yonderway · 19/07/2023 21:11

Yes we have paid for our adult children to come on holiday with us many times. We can afford it, we have more disposable income than they do, we enjoy their company so I don't see any reason why we wouldn't

menopausalbloat · 19/07/2023 21:32

Definitely take her if she wants to go. I don't see what the problem is if you've got another holiday booked with your DH.

Branleuse · 19/07/2023 21:34

Yes absolutely

Spacecowboys · 19/07/2023 21:36

Definitely , especially when adult child has just finished university.

ivfbabymomma1 · 19/07/2023 21:37

I'm 35 and my parents still pay for my family
To go on holiday! They want to enjoy their money and share it with me whilst they are alive

InSpainTheRain · 19/07/2023 21:45

Of course I pay for my adult kids because they can't afford it yet. One just graduated the other doesn't yet earn enough yet. I love it when they come away with us! I think your DH is horrible expecting her to cat sit whilst he lives it up!

Isthiscorrect · 19/07/2023 21:46

Well I agree with you. DS is 27. We live overseas. We pay for him to come here. We chose to live away. He doesn’t earn massive amounts so I work on the premise if I want to see him I pay. And we are ok with that.
He and I met in Berlin earlier this year. DH, DS and I will go to Vienna later this year and we will meet him in London. We are happy. Holidaying with an adult child is so different than with young children. We are happy. He is happy so all good. Different for you I appreciate.

Incidentally he also holidays with friends. When he has a partner who wants to come on holiday yeah happy to pay for that as well.

And yes he knows how fortunate he is.

2chocolateoranges · 19/07/2023 21:48

In my 40’s and my mum still pays for me to go away with her for long weekends. We make an effort to go away for a few days just us two.

Dontletsummerend · 19/07/2023 21:54

Op paid for her to go on the holiday to Cape Town last Christmas so isn’t DD isn’t missing out on the family trips.
She’s 23. More than capable of booking her own holiday. Why does she want to go with her parents aside from it being a freebie ? If it’s somewhere she’s always wanted to go fair enough but this was never a family holiday where she was part of the discussion.
I pay for my mum to go on holiday with me and DH because I want her to have nice holidays but she doesn’t just expect to come.

SamW98 · 19/07/2023 22:00

Yes absolutely I would. DS is 18 and not interested in coming away with me at that age but if I’m s few years he decides he would like to, I would take him in a heartbeat

NoSunNoSun · 19/07/2023 22:04

I stopped a couple of years ago when my youngest DC was 21. I only go away with my DH or on my own now and my DC go with their friends. We did four family holidays every year all during their childhood so we are all enjoying the change now.

Icequeen01 · 19/07/2023 22:17

Yes definitely. Our DS23 is coming with us this year and we are paying for him. He hasn't had a holiday for 4 years and needs one. We can afford it so why not.

Bluegoose2 · 19/07/2023 22:21

If my mum fancies a trip away somewhere as a family she will pay. I never ask and always tell her no i won't come as can't afford it but she gets so cross over its easier to agree! It's never usually abroad though only UK holidays. Its only me and my son and there's not enough money for holidays out of term time x

shivawn · 19/07/2023 22:25

Yeah I would. Not in a one bedroom apartment though, I'd be booking alternative accomodation. We holiday quite a lot (as do you from your posts here) so it wouldn't be any major issue to have our adult child join us on a smaller holiday to Spain while on a break from an intense degree/life path.

UsingChangeofName · 19/07/2023 22:26

I would (and have) paid for student adult dc to come away, yes BUT, planned in advance, and not squashing them into a 1 bed apartment with me and dh, no.

Copperoliverbear · 19/07/2023 22:39

100% pay for her x

Shinyandnew1 · 19/07/2023 22:42

I’m happy to plan and pay for my adult children to come on holiday, but not as an afterthought in a one-bed apartment!

OneCup · 19/07/2023 22:45

As she has clearly been studying towards a qualification, yes absolutely. If she had spent the last five years watching TV and smoking weed, no.
Doctor training is intense. She deserves a break.

momtoboys · 19/07/2023 22:50

We are struggling with similar situation. Two sons, graduated from uni and both gainfully employed but working from home remotely until September. Initially thought they would not be able to join us on holiday because of their work schedules. DH and I were a little wistful but thinking that this trip will be much less expensive for us this year because we won't have to feed them! LOL Well, it seems as though they both feel they can come with us and work from our vacation accommodations. We said we are happy to have them but they will both be paying their own expenses except for the place we are staying.

Swipe left for the next trending thread