Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Holidays

Use our Travel forum for recommendations on everything from day trips to the best family-friendly holiday destinations.

Original poster

Would you pay for your adult child to come on holiday?

169 replies

jimjan · 19/07/2023 08:43

Our daughter is 23 and just finishing her medical degree. No time to work so she doesn’t earn anything. She still comes on family holidays. We pay her rent. This is the last year before she works.

She has a week off over the summer, and dh wants her to come home and cat sit (she did offer) but that’s because she can’t afford to do anything else. I think we should pay for the cat sitter like usual, and take her away with us. We have booked a one bedroom apartment in Minorca that has a sofa bed. Dd has seen flights for £100 which she could pay for. My dh is fed up and says he won’t pay for her to have another holiday, as her grandparents recently paid for her elective to south america.

Would you take your adult child on holiday?

OP posts:
FrenchandSaunders · 19/07/2023 11:46

Yes we’re paying for both our DDs to come away with us in September, they are early 20s.

One has graduated and in a new job … paying a lot of rent in her uni city. The other is living at home and working.

Life is harder for them. At 22 (early 90s) me and DH bought a flat in London on very modest wages and also ran two cars and had holidays … they can’t do that, very different times.

Usernamen · 19/07/2023 12:14

I haven’t been on a family holiday since I was 16 out of choice as we don’t get along as a family haha.

But I come across lots of people whose parents still pay for them to go on holiday (sometimes even without the parents), well into their 30s. I see nothing wrong with this and actually think it’s quite sweet!

Usernamen · 19/07/2023 12:31

Honeychickpea · 19/07/2023 10:04

Not under these circumstances. 23, time to grow up.

Show quote history

Lol at this!

On MN I find there is even more resentment towards people getting things paid for by family (private school fees, holidays, etc.) than there is towards high earners.

Thewarrioress · 19/07/2023 12:34

Yes, we will pay for any holiday they will come on with us. The thought of them not wanting to come anymore makes me sad.

Maddy70 · 19/07/2023 12:58

Yes and we do. It's the difference between having a couples holiday or a family one.

Qilin · 19/07/2023 13:00

Dd is 21y and we pay for her to come away with us.
We enjoy our holidays with us and ask her if she wants to come - we pay. She's just finished university.

CarolinaInTheMorning · 19/07/2023 13:09

We would, and have, but not in a one bedroom.

whiteroseredrose · 19/07/2023 13:15

Yes, we do. DS 24 and doing a PhD and DD 20 at University are coming to Mexico with us in December.

We went to Krakow as a couple and will go to Istanbul just the two of us, too, but that is partly because it is hard to find a time when they can both come.

SwitchDiver · 19/07/2023 13:20

I would expect to pay if I invited them.

Eg invited my adult DC to Amsterdam for a long weekend earlier this month. They offered to pay their airfare as we were driving & taking the ferry and they live in another country from us. Accepted that and picked them up from Schiphol. Other than airfare, paid for everything else- accommodation, food, trips, entry fees. They bought their own souvenirs although I did buy them a gift.

I don’t think a 1 bedroom flat is enough room for three people though. I wouldn’t have invited a 3rd person along if that was all I had booked.

BitOutOfPractice · 19/07/2023 13:29

Toddlerteaplease · 19/07/2023 09:59

Yes if she's working hard with her university work. If she was not getting a job because she can't be bothered then no. But she sounds like she could use a break.

Trust me @Toddlerteaplease medical students aren't not getting jobs because they "can't be bothered". Have you any idea how hard the training is?

Toddlerteaplease · 19/07/2023 13:31

@BitOutOfPractice that's what I meant. She's not avoiding work because she can't be bothered. I'm a nurse. I know how hard it is.

BitOutOfPractice · 19/07/2023 13:32

And you @Honeychickpea honestly. She's been studying to become a doctor. Not dossing about in her room for 5 years. And after a medical degree I'm sure she's plenty grown up enough. Unbelievable comments.

Strugglingtodomybest · 19/07/2023 13:33

Yes I would.

MerryMarigold · 19/07/2023 13:35

Mariposista · 19/07/2023 09:44

DH is an arse. Of course she should come.

Exactly what I was thinking. I wouldn't fancy going to the Maldives with him after that attitude.

Mariposista · 19/07/2023 13:37

MerryMarigold · 19/07/2023 13:35

Exactly what I was thinking. I wouldn't fancy going to the Maldives with him after that attitude.

Show quote history

I sometimes think these young people can’t do right for doing wrong. Sure there are a load of phone obsessed sullen and selfish young adults out there but OP’s DD sounds lovely (nicer than her father)

SuperLoudPoppingAction · 19/07/2023 13:41

I'm taking dd away this year - she's going to be 23.
She has a job and earns more than me, but she's very generous with gifts when she has spare cash, and helps out with things like dogsitting.
And I just want to have a trip with her while she doesn't have the kinds of commitments that make those kinds of things tricky.
If I could have taken her while she was still in school, I would have, but due to budget etc we only had one foreign holiday from when she was about 10 to now.

I'm really looking forward to it, honestly.

elderflowerandpomelo · 19/07/2023 13:42

One of my big aims, in terms of saving for the future, is to be able to afford to pay for a week away with our children and their children, every year. Doubtless in the UK (nothing mega extravagant!). My grandmother did this, for her children/their partners/grandchildren/grandchildren's partners/great-grandchildren (when they came along). Was so lovely.

Mossstitch · 19/07/2023 13:52

I'd be taking her and leaving 'D'H at home to cat sit😂

I pay for lots of things for my sons, despite them all being in their 30s and on more money than me! It gives me pleasure to be able to do that🤷‍♂️

CallieQ · 19/07/2023 13:57

Yes I would pay the main costs but ask for a small contribution spending money etc

Harebrain · 19/07/2023 13:59

Yes we would and in fact we did. DD was great company and very grateful. She paid for a meal for us all one night too.

KnittedCardi · 19/07/2023 14:03

Still paying for DD 26 to come on holiday with us. We love getting the family together for hols. We have our own room, and pay for the two DD's own room. This year, finally (!), DD paid for her flights and towards the bar bill, which is always enormous, so that was appreciated.

TeeBee · 19/07/2023 14:09

Yes absolutely. Currently sitting in an airport with my adult son after having a lovely few days on the Amalfi coast. My times with them are precious and I can afford it.

TheChosenTwo · 19/07/2023 14:15

Our eldest is only 19 but at uni and has just had a couple of months backpacking with her friend. Home now and she’s coming on our family holiday with us in a few weeks.
she is welcome to come on holiday with us for as long as she wants, we have 2 more dc so will be taking them anyway! My parents haven’t paid for me to go on holiday since I was about 13 and i had 3 holidays as a kid so they weren’t frequent things like they are (for us) now.
Every few years dh and I take a holiday just for the 2 of us and leave the dc at home.
I imagine in years to come we will have one family holiday a year which we will pay for the dc (and partners/families) to join us if they want and then we’ll have one a year just for us.

MrsKeats · 19/07/2023 14:29

Don't like the tightness of your husband.
Becoming a doctor is a huge accomplishment and the holiday would be a nice reward.

Thinkbiglittleone · 19/07/2023 14:37

Yes, we definitely would.