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Holidays

Use our Travel forum for recommendations on everything from day trips to the best family-friendly holiday destinations.

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Original poster

I'm taking my children on holiday with different surname

137 replies

C12 · 29/05/2023 14:47

I'm a mum taking my 2 daughters on holiday in summer holiday. They have their dad's surname and he's on their birth certificate however has nothing to with them and hasn't for 6 years. What actually happens if they ask for proof of permission from father and I don't have it? We have been abroad before but never asked for anything however I never realised was supposed to have permission

OP posts:

thisthenthat · 29/05/2023 14:55

My daughter has a different surname to me. Have to take her birth certificate when travelling, been asked for it twice when returning to the UK.
Didn't know anything about permission from the other parent.

Original poster

C12 · 29/05/2023 15:03

It was only because I saw something about needing it I did some research (it's only if they are on the birth certificate) but I had no idea that your supposed to have a letter of permission from anyone else who has parental responsibility so just want to find out what actually happens if you don't

OP posts:

olympicsrock · 29/05/2023 15:04

It will be fine . I have the same issue. You don’t need permission from the father. Takes their birth certificate.

Were you married when they were born? If not he does not have automatic parental responsibility.

Labtastic · 29/05/2023 15:09

If he has nothing to do with them, can I ask why they have his surname? In your shoes I would 100% change it to mine. In the meantime though take their birth certificates on holiday with you

Timothhorton · 29/05/2023 15:19

If he is on the birth certificate you need permission, my friend had this problem, although many countries won't ask for it. I travel frequently to the states with my kids (different surname) and have been asked quite a few times by the US agents for a letter from my husband authorising the travel, and it ideally should be witnessed and you should ideally have a photocopy of their passport too. Being on the birth cert infers parental responsibility. If they ask for it (they may not) they are entitled to turn you away.
https://www.gov.uk/permission-take-child-abroad#:~:text=A%20letter%20from%20the%20person,about%20taking%20a%20child%20abroad.

Get permission to take a child abroad

Permission from parents and courts to take a child on holiday abroad and avoid abduction

https://www.gov.uk/permission-take-child-abroad#:~:text=A%20letter%20from%20the%20person,about%20taking%20a%20child%20abroad.

thinkfast · 29/05/2023 15:54

I have a different surname to my children. If I travel abroad with them without DH I always take their birth certs, my marriage cert and a signed letter from DH with all of his details confirming I have permission.

Glwysen · 29/05/2023 16:03

Does the age of the child matter? I’m travelling with my 14 year old to the states this year and she has a different surname to me. I’ve travelled with my son before and no one has ever asked for anything

EggInANest · 29/05/2023 16:09

How old are they? If old enough to confirm that you are their Mum, they are not being abducted and no contact with Dad / don’t know where he is: no problem.

Just take their BCs to prove they are your kids.

tribpot · 29/05/2023 16:16

Where are you going? If in Europe, from experience you may be asked to show the birth certificate on the way back to the UK. If Canada or (potentially) South Africa, I would rethink your plans.

Timothhorton · 29/05/2023 16:17

It’s the age that a child is considered a minor in the country they are visiting. So I in. the States a minor is under 18. They don’t always ask but they can and do, I have been asked quite a few times. There is a big problem at the moment due to the trafficking of young girls I live close to the USA border and so a good border guard is likely to ask. See the link I posted above about what you need.

gogohmm · 29/05/2023 16:25

Carry full birth certificate with your name on it and fingers crossed. I got asked entering Canada and dd was 17!

granof8 · 29/05/2023 16:30

To be safe you either need a letter of permission from the other parent or a copy of a custody agreement where you have full custody. My daughter managed to get a notarized letter for blanket permission for all trips

toothbrusher · 29/05/2023 16:45

@olympicsrock that's not true. Kids born after Dec 2003 fathers have PR if they're on the birth certificate regardless of marriage. OP, my friend consulted a solicitor on this about 5 years ago and was told as long as trip less than 28 days and she had return tickets it was fine. However I'd be inclined to xheck with a solicitor that this hasn't changed. The guys on legal (Collaborate and Justanotherlawyer2) will be able to advise. Don't trust the majority who are not legally qualified though

christmastreefarm · 29/05/2023 16:57

I went to Iceland, same name as my children and got asked for a letter on arrival in Reykjavik

tribpot · 29/05/2023 17:07

Yes it has nothing to do with the surname in reality, @christmastreefarm . It's any child who is travelling without everyone with parental responsibility. The average MN experience seems to be that it happens if you don't have the same surname as your child(ren) and on the way back into the UK. But as you've shown, neither of things is a hard and fast rule.

Glwysen · 29/05/2023 17:20

Thank you OP and all the posters on this thread - you have potentially saved me some issues!!

Original poster

C12 · 29/05/2023 18:38

My children are 10 and 11, I was with their father when they were born but no contact in 6 years. Nothings gone through court or anything so he still has parental responsibility as he's on the birth certificate. We are going to Turkey.
Obviously as I never realised before i didn't carry a letter of permission and just wonderd if its actually asked for often. Thank you all for your responses

OP posts:

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 29/05/2023 19:33

I travelled alone with my son recently and was asked at passport to show that I had permission from the other parent (this was leaving an eu country). I did have the permission on me so don’t know what would have happened if I didn’t.

adriftabroad · 29/05/2023 19:45

Been asked many times

adriftabroad · 29/05/2023 19:47

A phonemumber will often do, But he will have to answer it!

villamariavintrapp · 29/05/2023 19:47

I've also been asked on entry to EU country. Same surname, still married.

adriftabroad · 29/05/2023 19:49

Morocco and Bristol the worst.
Morocco DD got carted off into a different room with a tanslator. I would worry with Turkey.

ArgosKettle · 29/05/2023 20:00

What happens if the child’s father is deceased or you have no contact details for the child’s father?

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 29/05/2023 20:02

ArgosKettle · 29/05/2023 20:00

What happens if the child’s father is deceased or you have no contact details for the child’s father?

If deceased then you just need to show some evidence of that. If no contact you need to get something showing that they don’t have parental responsibility.

ArgosKettle · 29/05/2023 20:06

@LiquoriceAllsorts2
Ok I see, makes sense.

What about if tha absent parent has PR but doesn’t exercise it and the other parent doesn’t have contact details for the absent parent?

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