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Original poster

I'm taking my children on holiday with different surname

137 replies

C12 · 29/05/2023 14:47

I'm a mum taking my 2 daughters on holiday in summer holiday. They have their dad's surname and he's on their birth certificate however has nothing to with them and hasn't for 6 years. What actually happens if they ask for proof of permission from father and I don't have it? We have been abroad before but never asked for anything however I never realised was supposed to have permission

OP posts:
Littleoxforddictionary · 29/05/2023 20:07

My children have an Indian origin surname different to my very English sounding one. I have taken them alone (separated from father) in and out of umany times to different countries. Never once been stopped or asked anything.

MrsTerryPratchett · 29/05/2023 20:08

I've been asked to/from Canada. I have a different nationality to DD as well as surname!

adriftabroad · 29/05/2023 20:08

Yes, Canada is a definite worry!

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 29/05/2023 20:09

ArgosKettle · 29/05/2023 20:06

@LiquoriceAllsorts2
Ok I see, makes sense.

What about if tha absent parent has PR but doesn’t exercise it and the other parent doesn’t have contact details for the absent parent?

A court can grant you permission to go.

Bluebellsbells · 29/05/2023 20:11

I have court documents but they were notarised for a single holiday. The originals have probably been destroyed as the solicitors who kept them only kept them for 6 years. Anyway I say this because I did a lot of internet research and found that there is no law stating you need court docs or letters etc. however if you are stopped and don't have these documents to back up your claims you maybe refused entry.

So you don't need them by law- but if you don't have them you maybe refused entry!

I tend to get asked in the airport on the way home rather than outbound/ destination airport.

FloorWipes · 29/05/2023 20:11

Lived all my life with a different surname to one parent and have a different surname again to my child and never heard of this. Can't really see what surnames have to do with it.

redheadcurl · 29/05/2023 20:12

I have been asked but only if I am their mother. Never had to prove anything.

ArgosKettle · 29/05/2023 20:13

@LiquoriceAllsorts2 I see.

So example; if a single mother who wanted to take her children on holiday and didn’t get permission from the absent father who legally has PR also; the mother would need to go to court first before booking the holiday to grant ‘permission’?

Im just trying to get an idea as I have a friend who is in this situation with a holiday coming up.

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 29/05/2023 20:17

ArgosKettle · 29/05/2023 20:13

@LiquoriceAllsorts2 I see.

So example; if a single mother who wanted to take her children on holiday and didn’t get permission from the absent father who legally has PR also; the mother would need to go to court first before booking the holiday to grant ‘permission’?

Im just trying to get an idea as I have a friend who is in this situation with a holiday coming up.

I think technically yes but not necessary on an individual holiday by holiday basis. It’s probably best that she seeks some legal advice and sees what she can arrange.

ArgosKettle · 29/05/2023 20:19

@LiquoriceAllsorts2 Ok thank you.

Greenpurple22 · 29/05/2023 21:00

I’m a single parent with two children who have different fathers therefore 3 different surnames. I’ve never been questioned when travelling or asked for additional documents

Nousername94 · 29/05/2023 21:05

Went abroad with my then 7 month old and 4 year old in October last year and both of them have their dads surname and I don’t. I was never asked if I have permission and I wasn’t asked for a birth certificate or anything. Never even thought about this

wineandsunshine · 29/05/2023 21:06

This has worried me. I'm due to fly with DS (17) who has a different surname but no contact with his father.

Advice?!

tribpot · 29/05/2023 21:19

Where are you going @wineandsunshine ?

I would not be too alarmed if in Europe, just make sure you have a copy of the birth certificate.

MrsTerryPratchett · 29/05/2023 21:26

wineandsunshine · 29/05/2023 21:06

This has worried me. I'm due to fly with DS (17) who has a different surname but no contact with his father.

Advice?!

A 17 yo can reliably say they aren't being kidnapped! They care less and less as children age.

HappiDaze · 29/05/2023 21:50

Take a photo of their birth certificates and keep it on your phone

TheFirie · 29/05/2023 21:52

It is very common. I have never been asked any questions when travelling alone with my SDDs.

Ritasueandbobtoo9 · 29/05/2023 21:56

I have been asked if I am the mother once or twice when travelling with my baby and very young son but never asked if I had permission from my husband with different name.

TUCKINGFYP0 · 29/05/2023 21:58

I’ve never been asked and I travel alone with my children ( teens) about 6 times a year.

CurlewKate · 29/05/2023 21:59

This is why children should have their mother's last name.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 29/05/2023 23:04

The surname thing and permission thing are separate I think.

Re different surnames, you need a birth certificate to prove they are your children.

But either parent, with or without the same surname, may need to show permission for the other parent to take the kids abroad - just applying logic shows you that the surname doesn’t make a difference to this.

I always take both - my exh and I both do a letter for each other to take the kids abroad - the fact he has the same surname as them and I don’t doesn’t make a difference to the need for the other parent’s permission.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 29/05/2023 23:05

But equally neither of us has actually been asked for the permission letter!

Ive been asked for birth certs once out of many times

rightroyalblues · 29/05/2023 23:14

Surprised no one has brought up any mention of discrimination yet - why should unmarried mothers have to provide a birth certificate?! I have 3 members of staff at my workplace with the same surname as my son - any one of them could take him through an airport with no questions asked, yet his own mother can't?! There has to be a better system than this!!

BreaktheCycle · 29/05/2023 23:15

fathers have PR if they're on the birth certificate regardless of marriage.

^This.

tribpot · 29/05/2023 23:15

It's definitely a stupid system @rightroyalblues and seems completely arbitrary. I have a different surname to my DS even though I am married to his father, but I take your point.