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Original poster

I'm taking my children on holiday with different surname

137 replies

C12 · 29/05/2023 14:47

I'm a mum taking my 2 daughters on holiday in summer holiday. They have their dad's surname and he's on their birth certificate however has nothing to with them and hasn't for 6 years. What actually happens if they ask for proof of permission from father and I don't have it? We have been abroad before but never asked for anything however I never realised was supposed to have permission

OP posts:

QueenCarrot · 20/12/2023 18:06

rightroyalblues · 29/05/2023 23:14

Surprised no one has brought up any mention of discrimination yet - why should unmarried mothers have to provide a birth certificate?! I have 3 members of staff at my workplace with the same surname as my son - any one of them could take him through an airport with no questions asked, yet his own mother can't?! There has to be a better system than this!!

Any person taking a child abroad has to have permission from everybody with PR. It’s got nothing to do with your marital status, your sex, or your name.

In reality if you are travelling with a child with a different surname to your own you are more likely to be questioned but in my experience this is not common at all, though more so when visiting some countries than others.

DiaNaranja · 20/12/2023 18:45

I travel frequently with my DC, but without DH. Me and the children have different surnames as I didn't take dhs. I've always taken a signed and dated letter from him, with his contact details and photo page of passport scanned, when we're travelling without him. I'd say I've been asked for it probably 1 in 4 times of travel. They actually seemed surprised I have it when I produce it all though, so it appears it happens alot, and I'm not sure what they actually do when people don't have that to hand? I'd take their broth certs for sure, not sure what else you can do. Tbh, once when we were travelling all together as a family, we got pulled aside into a room and asked a million and one questions, as I don't think they believed DD was ours. She's extremely fair (white blonde hair) while me and DH both have dark hair and olive complexion. They took our passports, and made a few phone calls, held us up for quite a while before letting us go. We never really knew why, but can only assume it's because DD looks nothing like either of us, and was too young to answer any questions herself.

Picoloangel · 20/12/2023 18:52

@DiaNaranja

Gave you travelled to the UD without your OH? Did you have the letter from OH notarised?

adriftabroad · 20/12/2023 19:27

For the US I would definitely want it notarised.

SoSad44 · 23/12/2023 13:19

I had a letter for the US (not notarised) and wasn’t asked. I always get asked in most European countries (Germans are super strict) and when I re enter the UK (have copy of birth certificates)

SoSad44 · 23/12/2023 13:21

TUCKINGFYP0 · 03/06/2023 15:50

I find this fascinating because I’ve been on about 20 flights with my children ( all in Europe ) over the last couple of years and I’ve never been asked. They are teens though so maybe they only care about much younger children.

I was never asked when they were primary school age either. But maybe the rules are stricter now.

I have a different surname but my surname name is also their middle name, so it’s on their passport ( but not necessarily their plane ticket ). I don’t know if that makes a difference.

My very rare European surname is also my kids middle name and I get asked and stopped a lot (I would say at least every second trip. But my children are small, maybe that’s the difference?

lljkk · 23/12/2023 14:04

I've travelled outside UK with DC who have different surname countless times & never had what I consider an issue. Yes border control may ask the kids "Is this your mom?" I don't consider that a difficult moment. Or they eye up the youngest a moment longer (pre-verbal age) but basically not a hassle moment. I look bored & patient, border control are bored & patient. Ditto experiences for friends.

Flowersun6 · 23/12/2023 17:23

Just because you've had no issues doesn't mean anything. It depends on a few things how many times a year do you travel? Maybe you got lucky and got a nice officer. I've been abroad with my Son and I didn't have a birth certificate with me as I was totally unaware that I needed to be carrying one!
He was a bit of an arse and other times I've been asked or DS has and off we went on our way home! It's all relative OP.

lljkk · 23/12/2023 18:53

Depends on a few things how many times a year do you travel?

To USA about every 18m since .... 2000? And maybe 12 different trips to Europe. It would take me a while to figure out how many border crossings were single parent only

If you're saying you feel you must travel with BC at all ever then presumably you bring BCs even if both parents are with the child & regardless of surname being shared with either parent, nothing to say any adult is a birth parent otherwise, and plenty of surnames are common ones, so surname sharing seems rather low quality info to decide if a specific child belongs with that adult.

Flowersun6 · 23/12/2023 19:08

@lljkk it's not regardless though is it? I can only speak as a single parent and I'm just informing you of what a police officer told me I should do from now on. He said I should travel with a BC as me and my DC do have different surnames. I don't want more hassle or if I can reduce it I'm happy to show a BC. I personally hear what you are saying, you and I are not part of the border control though so I think its best to try and follow the "rule" even if its a "grey" area.

Mummyred099 · 28/07/2025 01:27

Hi all I split from Kids dad due to demostic violence there was a court order stopping him seeing the kids.
however Im taking my kids for a night to paris this week and I'm worried I dont have his written consent. my kids have the dads surname and mine is different.
I have no clue where he is and I don't want try contact him cos of demostic violence but I'm worried I get stopped at boarder control. we are going on eurostar. I have all my kids birth certificates and was able to apply for passports without his permission. many thanks ifanyone had travelled to Paris and in similar situation as I'm worrying we won't be able to go.

Ritasueandbobtoo9 · 28/07/2025 07:06

Hi, it shouldn’t be an issue. I have never been asked.

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