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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

school calling me a liar

316 replies

noodels2002 · 05/06/2017 13:56

Hello im new here. my dd ages 4 had the chickenpox for 2 weeks and i provided medical evidence for the school. however when she was well enough to return to school her grandfather died. i went in explained to the school and filled in all necessary forms. we went out of town to be with distraught mil which we told school we would be. my daughter took the news very hard and obviously was upset over it so my husband and i decided to take her to butlins for the weekend friday to monday and on our return we were greeted with a letter from the school dated Wednesday of that week informing us she hadnt been off due to bereavement but infact a family holiday and they had information could i come to school by friday when they broke off for half term ( impossible as we was out of town and which they knew we was) as they had been "given information".

the hakf term went by and i went to the school this morning to ask the head what the meaning if this letter was and what evidence she had to suggest this. she replied weve been given evidence by a reliable source and would not stipulate any further when asked by whom.

i also asked who had hand delivered the ketter to my house again to which she would not answer. i informed her the claims are incorrect and she said the school believe you are lying due to this reliable source. i said how can i defend myself if you have no evidence to give me. and she said she had evidence but wouldnt share it with me. i again explained about the bereavement and why we went out of town i also honestly told her we went to butlins at the weekend and showed her confirmation to which she said thats fine but we dont believe dd was where you said she was during the week. so at this point i got very distressed and said she had no proof and things got heated which resulted in me being escourted off school premises. ive shiwn her medical proof of rhe illness and proof we went on a family holiday friday to monday not the monday to friday she is questioning. this isnt the first run in with the head as the first time they accused my mother if child abuse and breaking my dd arm on idle gossip which resulted in a visit from ss to which they closed the case instantly and said the school was wrong to accuse people of this on idle gossip and no evidence. the second time the school called me and another parent in as a teacher had saw us arguing nor me or the other parent knew each ither or what she was even talking about as said parent wasnt even at school that day.

anyway back to original point. am i wrong to ask for their evidence and for the head to withold it from me before making these false claims. any help or advice appreciated as i feel i am being harrassed by the school and feel the need someone had been to my house and hand deliver a letter knowing we was out if town totally unacceptable. i feel due to the death of fil i have been hounded and harrassed by the school a trespass has been commited and a total lack of compassion shown from the achool in these difficult circumstances.

OP posts:
fleshmarketclose · 06/06/2017 21:27

Spotty the maverick HT at dd's primary school did bypass the statutory process for dd. I visited,explained I was unhappy with dd's current primary and had been advised by SSSEN teacher that his school would be a good fit. I took with me dd's statement of SEN. HT offered a week's trial with no obligation on either side and the school would support dd from their own resources. HT advised dd's school to mark dd's absence as educated off site.
After the week's trial we met and he offered a place and I asked about getting the statement changed as I knew the process. He said he felt the statutory process was in fact discriminatory as without the statement dd could have started the following Monday ordinarily and so did no more than phone the LA advised them that dd was moving school on the Monday and asked them to sort out the paperwork.
From what I remember I think it took four weeks to get an amended statement and a bit longer for the funding to transfer (our LA at that time funded statemented support wholly independently of the general SEN budget)
HT at first school wasn't terribly impressed as she had a TA with no child to support and the funding gone but the LA were more than happy with HT's actions.
So if the child is in our LA then I can well believe that they would sort a transfer as there has already been a precedent set.

youarenotkiddingme · 06/06/2017 21:39

Yes managed moves can be arranged.
This was arranged for my ds when he wouldn't attend school due to anxiety because the la thought they could defend the then school whilst playing the game of saying another ms could meet need.

He moved, new school was fab - declined to take ds after trial. Then 2 weeks after EHCP assessment tribunal suddenly changed their minds but yet somehow ds was awarded the EHCP for a lot of hours!

LA's play games but they come right in the end when forced to.

YetAnotherHelenMumsnet · 06/06/2017 22:41

Hi there,
Can we just remind everyone on this thread that troll hunting is against our guidelines?

TheSnorkMaidenReturns · 06/06/2017 22:48

@Lunde she sounds terrifying

Oliversmumsarmy · 06/06/2017 23:56

LEAs can get you into a school within the hour.

Dds first school was not of our choosing. We live in a very odd area in that our catchment area, postcode is the same as a town 5 miles away. But we are sandwiched between 2 large villages both that have a selection of schools. DD didn't get into any of the schools that we had put down and were within 1-1.5 miles of our house.
Dd was given a school 5.5 miles away up an unpavemented dual carriage way. Completely inaccessible on foot especially with a 3year old in a buggy.
I spoke to a person at the LEA who told me that I could appeal but it was fruitless to bother. So I said if dd was to go to this school I needed a taxi as it was so far away. Dd had the first choice school within the hour.

Spottytop1 · 07/06/2017 06:17

Flesh exactly! A trial week- discussions and then an amendment which took several weeks.

Not a change from just a call.

LuluJakey1 · 07/06/2017 06:53

Almost anyone who has taught could get a Head's job in an academy- they are desperate in many of them. If the public knew how appalling some of these Head's are they would be shocked.

I know of a Headteacher and two Deputies all left a state school which was on the point of meltdown because of their dreadful lack of competency to do the job. All resigned at the point of action being taken. The Head is now an Executive Head of two academies- both failing- one of the DH's is a consultant on Leadership for a chain of academies and the other DH is a DH in an academy for children who are badly behaved and educated outside of mainstream. All paid HUGE salaries. Academies will have anyone.

Whileweareonthesubject · 07/06/2017 07:27

Academies will have anyone

Some might, but not all.

And, as I said earlier, if this is an academy, the lea would not be carrying out any investigation into the head, since the headteacher would be employed by the academy. Any investigation and further action would be taken by the academy, usually by the lgb according to their articles of delegation.
A decent academy chain is better than a lacklustre lea.

bruffin · 07/06/2017 07:43

Op never confirmed this was an academy, as far as i can see.

EeekWhat · 07/06/2017 07:44

Mumsnet really makes you realize what some parents have to go through to get their D.C. an education. It's terrible, it must be so stressful . Sad

Ceto · 07/06/2017 07:54

Does your daughter have an EHCP, Noodels?

Whileweareonthesubject · 07/06/2017 13:44

Bruffin, I agree. In fact, I doubt it is an academy since the op's lea appears to be involved with the complaints about the ht.
I know there are poorly run academies. I know that some academy heads are not good. But I also know that it is simply untrue to imply that that is the case for all academies. And it is hugely unfair on the hts who work in academies and so a good job. There are also poor heads in leas.

bruffin · 07/06/2017 14:02

TBH i have visions of the old head of DC primary school while reading this thread, she was coming up to retirement and slowly losing it. I think she left under a bit of a cloud in the end

fleshmarketclose · 07/06/2017 15:59

Spotty yes but dd was in the school from the day after I met the new HT even without amendments to the statement or the funding. OP reports her dd will transfer in September which will give plenty of time for the paperwork to catch up.

youarenotkiddingme · 07/06/2017 16:32

My ds was in an academy and when he couldn't attend the la supported us - well they helped by suggesting a managed move and inclusion team got involved.

They won't help with them being crap but if you point out they have a legal duty to provide an education they'll help arrange that!

SandyDenny · 09/06/2017 17:34

Have you got anywhere with the school OP?

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