school calling me a liar

[noodels2002]

Hello im new here. my dd ages 4 had the chickenpox for 2 weeks and i provided medical evidence for the school. however when she was well enough to return to school her grandfather died. i went in explained to the school and filled in all necessary forms. we went out of town to be with distraught mil which we told school we would be. my daughter took the news very hard and obviously was upset over it so my husband and i decided to take her to butlins for the weekend friday to monday and on our return we were greeted with a letter from the school dated Wednesday of that week informing us she hadnt been off due to bereavement but infact a family holiday and they had information could i come to school by friday when they broke off for half term ( impossible as we was out of town and which they knew we was) as they had been "given information".

the hakf term went by and i went to the school this morning to ask the head what the meaning if this letter was and what evidence she had to suggest this. she replied weve been given evidence by a reliable source and would not stipulate any further when asked by whom.

i also asked who had hand delivered the ketter to my house again to which she would not answer. i informed her the claims are incorrect and she said the school believe you are lying due to this reliable source. i said how can i defend myself if you have no evidence to give me. and she said she had evidence but wouldnt share it with me. i again explained about the bereavement and why we went out of town i also honestly told her we went to butlins at the weekend and showed her confirmation to which she said thats fine but we dont believe dd was where you said she was during the week. so at this point i got very distressed and said she had no proof and things got heated which resulted in me being escourted off school premises. ive shiwn her medical proof of rhe illness and proof we went on a family holiday friday to monday not the monday to friday she is questioning. this isnt the first run in with the head as the first time they accused my mother if child abuse and breaking my dd arm on idle gossip which resulted in a visit from ss to which they closed the case instantly and said the school was wrong to accuse people of this on idle gossip and no evidence. the second time the school called me and another parent in as a teacher had saw us arguing nor me or the other parent knew each ither or what she was even talking about as said parent wasnt even at school that day.

anyway back to original point. am i wrong to ask for their evidence and for the head to withold it from me before making these false claims. any help or advice appreciated as i feel i am being harrassed by the school and feel the need someone had been to my house and hand deliver a letter knowing we was out if town totally unacceptable. i feel due to the death of fil i have been hounded and harrassed by the school a trespass has been commited and a total lack of compassion shown from the achool in these difficult circumstances.

Sounds like the least are already investigating and this is more fuel for them to be acting so fast!

And I find it quite believable. My friend rang me in terms recently after. Very similar incident with the head at her daughters school. Unfortunately in her case it was in relation to a teacher assaulting her daughter. The head acted most inappropriately and refused to acknowledge the complaint and tries to have my friend removed from the premises. She had a parent partnership rep with her at the time so there was a witness. Both the head and teacher have been sacked I believe and I would be surprised if either is ever allowed to work with kids again. Theyso had had many complaints and this gave them the final evidence they needed

So, the OP's dd was flagged as a safeguarding concern due to having her arm broken by the grandmother according to DD, and social services confirmed to the OP that the complaint was unnecessary. Subsequent to the broken arm (and let's be honest here, a ss dismissal does not mean the child is not at risk, it may simply mean that further flags are required,) the child in question had three weeks off, two weeks due to alleged CP, and one week because of a bereavement, part of which included a weekend trip to Butlins, after which the HT required proof that there was a bereavement as she claimed she had evidence that the child was in fact on holiday during that time - a child which is on the radar due to previous safeguarding concerns.

The OP's response was to A, claim that hand delivering a letter was trespass and B, behave in such a manner that she has now been banned from the school playground, so a fine example to set for her at-risk DD.

OP and two other witnesses subsequently attended a meeting during which the head teacher shredded a letter of complaint on camera, and a conversation with the LEA half an hour later confirmed to the OP that there have been multiple complaints about this head teacher - something which the LEA wouldn't be dealing directly with parents about in the first place and wouldn't be at liberty to disclose due to data protection reasons, oh and the OP has now been transferred to a different school, presumably ahead of all the other parents who are waiting for appeals to go through after allocations?

Ok......

That's rather half-hearted passive aggression. Could you not try a bit harder?

the child in question had three weeks off, two weeks due to alleged CP, and one week because of a bereavement, part of which included a weekend trip to Butlins, after which the HT required proof that there was a bereavement

The chickenpox was not alleged there was a sick note from the doctor.

It was the HT who said the dgm had broken dds arm which was immediately dismissed by SS

There was a bereavement and Butlins was at the Weekend.

Yes LEAs work that fast when they have had many complaints and are at last presented with proof about how batshit crazy this HT is.

This is a safeguarding issue given how the ops autistic 4year old is being treated. So yes i would think she would take priority

The council haven't had proof of anything, they've had a phone call from a parent making the most outlandish allegations against a HT and without even taking the time to get the HT's version of events they believe the parent.

I wouldn't like to be a teacher in that area if there's no proper investigation of events. That's totally wrong.

I know you've ignored my previous questions trying to establish some of the facts OP, maybe it's just because the thread is busy but you must realise why it's hard for some of us to get our heads round the chain of events.

And we'll done to the HT for having a reliable shredder to hand, at my work it takes us ages to find it, plug it in, remember what buttons you need to press and keep your fingers crossed that it actually works first time

But that's assuming that everything the OP says is true. How many posts do we see on here from people saying they've been reported to SS and they haven't done anything - honest.

This OP has been thrown off school premiseS. In her OP she talks of a letter being hand delivered as trespass. It's fair to say here that the OP is clearly not the most reasonable person either given her stance and the fact she has been removed from the school. Yes the HT may be acting wrongly but the OP hasn't painted herself in a great light either.

It's far more likely that there are three sides to this story, the OP's side, the HT's side, and the truth which is probably somewhere in the middle and paints both parties in a bad light.

"Yes LEAs work that fast when they have had many complaints and are at last presented with proof about how batshit crazy this HT is." but they haven't had any proof. They had a phone call from a parent and have apparently taken her word for it while at the same time confirming the confidential fact that they've had multiple calls about this particular HT.

There is no way the LEA would just say "ok, you've complained, therefore we'll move your DD's school asap."

Perhaps the more likely scenario is that the OP's DD has been removed from the school by the HT due to the OP's behaviour making a relationship with the school untennable.

It sounds pretty similar to my experience with my LEA.

This OP has been thrown off school premiseS. In her OP she talks of a letter being hand delivered as trespass. It's fair to say here that the OP is clearly not the most reasonable person either given her stance and the fact she has been removed from the school. Yes the HT may be acting wrongly but the OP hasn't painted herself in a great light either.

For a headteacher to shred a complaint in front of the complainants - or indeed at all.l, does rather point to the problem being the HT and not the parent!

Added to that the unfounded SS complaint.

If you have never witnessed a truly batshit crazy teacher then you are lucky.
Ds's year 1 teacher was dismissed within the hour after the final complaint against her.

The HT I heard about used to go into a class whilst the teacher was teaching and start shouting at the teacher for really random reasons. I said she ended up having a nervous breakdown and left teaching.

I'm hoping the head's name is Miss Trunchbull. Does she have form for throwing small children by their plaits?

my daughter was already on the list for a SEN school gence the speedy school move. LEA has had all evidence emailled to them and looked over it before the follow up phone call.

Believe me there are HY who behave like this.

I wasn't surprised to see mummyoflittledragons ask if this is an academy school.

The Ht in some can take the absolute stance they are independent and take the Not controlled by LEA to the extreme. As far as they are concerned if you don't like it you know where the door is.
I've experienced it and if someone was telling me my story I'd think they were exaggerating or making it up.

This is a problem with LA losing autonomy and privatisation of services.

Did the LEA disclose they had received other complaints about the headteacher?

Pictures or it didn't happen.

If it's an academy school, the lea wouldn't be the ones dealing with complaints about the ht. In this area it takes around 7-10 days to organise a school place. And I am very surprised to hear that a lea would mention 'several' complaints about a ht- confidentiality issues.
It is immaterial how old the child is - a red flag is a red flag and the school is obligated to report concerns about a child's safety.
Your child's low attendance could actually be another red flag for safeguarding. Out of a whole year's possible attendance (190 days), the absences OP has stated, would equate to around 8-10% depending on the number of days off for the broken arm. At the time the absences occurred, they would be a greater percentage of the possible attendances to that point. Given a previous SS referral, closed or not, the number of different reasons for absence in a short space of time, could also give concern to the school. And schools these days have to show they ate on the ball with this kind of issue, as sadly, there have been too many children who have experienced the most appalling suffering because nobody thought to report this type of thing.

"On the list for an SEN school"?

Has she got an EHCP then?

La can place children in specialist placements whilst they carry out an assessment for EHCP.

It often says as much on schools and la websites.

The LEA may already have the HT under investigation - some HTs are seriously poor and lack experience and training

I had a psycho HT at one of the schools in Sweden - (older woman who became a head 9 months after qualifying as a teacher and had 4 jobs in 4 years) she was totally nuts. She wanted my ASD daughter out of the school (and off her budget) and proposed to impose certain illegal actions. She called us liars as well but we won our case against her with Swedish school inspection. She was generally very negative to all children with disabilities - threatening with ss was a regular tactic (as we were approached by a tearful parent in Lidl who had been threatened with having her child taken into care because ASD was caused by "parental neglect" according to ht). She hit the local press when she made an official police report against an 8 year old wth ASD- the Police were bemused as they can take no action against an 8 year old for something that was not even a crime. She left shortly afterwards (don't know whether she jumped or was pushed). She has since gone in to local politics and is the politician in charge of education in a neighbouring LEA - which has sunk to near the bottom of the LEA rankings

A child cannot just be moved if they have a statement or EHCP...

The new school has to get a copy of the paperwork, have to agree they can meet the needs, the statement/EHCP is then changed and place allocated.

One phonecall to the LA ( and I assume not the Sen department if it was a complaint), without actual written evidence, could bypass a whole statutory process!

I thought the school was an academy, anyway.

I think I'd move her schools asap,before she gets settled.you arnt going to win this one,they've taken against you and in my experience this will lead to other problems further down the line

Wanna - I can see that heads can do no wrong in your eyes. Heads can be bullies too. Our lea knew all about the head/management related issues within the school because lots of parents had emailed the LEA directly. The LEA eventually took action.

Some of your posts are a little bit contradictory, you say you don't like to label your dd as autistic and that she is thriving at the school which makes me wonder why you would have her on a waiting list for an SEN school.