DS struggling at Cambridge

[Naturenurture]

He’s only been there for two weeks but says he wants to leave. He’s a very social, extrovert person and says he feels like no one is on his wavelength. Not terribly sporty but he’s trying to join clubs and societies, and just says he feels like he makes lots of overtures and doesn’t get any response. He’s got a wide social circle at home and says all his friends at other unis seem to be out every night. I don’t know how to help him, he knows he can’t just throw away such an amazing opportunity but he’s just so lonely that it’s heartbreaking. Is this normal, normal for Cambridge, or do you think we have a problem?

On the contrary - I have had a great deal of contact. Far more than yourself from what you mention in your post.

@MeshMesh - based on the experience of my DS and his friends being in their second years of Cambridge and Oxford right now, I disagree with all your points 😂

Apart from, possibly, ‘handholding’ - if you mean by handholding they get more rigorous academic contact time from the tutorial system, and that the cities are very set up for students. They don’t have to worry about stuff like navigating private accommodation for themselves, for example - as the colleges take care of all that…

Let's not over-egg it.

It's extremely unlikely that most Oxbridge students have had part time jobs before arriving. Only about 20% of 6th formers can find part time work these days, compared to around 50% at the turn of the century. It's unlikely that Oxbridge students massively buck this trend (what with their studying, extra-curriculars and above average socio-economic backgrounds, on average). And to be clear: that doesn't mean that some won't have had jobs. Further, Oxbridge discourage term-time working and holiday jobs are becoming very difficult for students to find.

Some will fit the caricature; a lot won't.

There are over 12,000 students there, OP, I hope your DS will find his tribe soon.

"if duds like Boris Johnson, George Osbourne and Liz Truss can get an Oxbridge degree, a smart sociable chap like himself should be fine if he gives it a few weeks." sarcastic, rude, slag off a whole university because of 3 politicians (btw they went to Oxford not Cambridge)
"more than its fair share of oddballs" assertion, opinion, no evidence
"a lot of Oxbridge students and grads I’ve met aren’t especially streetwise and worldly wise. They’ve spent their youth in their bedrooms studying or excelling at managed fun" ditto
"handholding to Oxbridge levels" ditto
"The people who go there are far more ‘nerdy’ than average. Lots more affluent privately schooled kids who have grown up in bubbles than average" private school students higher than the population, true, but lower than at plenty of other universities.

Sour grapes. Fine! Have your (low) opinion of Oxbridge but why come on to a thread asking for help for a struggling student just to be rude about their institution?

My credentials: studied there, have children there currently.

Yes, not having to think about accommodation is a definite plus. And it absolutely does make things easier. But then other things are harder so swings and roundabouts, I suppose!

Ok so basically student life/life for the young is much worse than it used to be and has affected those at Oxbridge as well as more generally.

Having just got in the applications for next cycle, I can tell you that yet again for the fifth year running around 90% of my applicants have put a part time job on their application forms (they have to give details of the full employment history with addresses and managers, etc., so it’s not just made up). These are usually largely part time retail and hospitality work in shops and cafes.

This seemed to me to change from around 2018 onwards. In the 2010s it was rare to find applicants who had had part time jobs. Since around 2020 it’s not just the norm, but the majority. Colleagues tell me this is the case in other subjects, too. I don’t know why this has changed (perhaps you’d want to speculate?) but it very much has.

Ok, so you agree with a third of my points.

And disagreeing that Oxbridge students are more likely than average to be nerdy is just silly contrarianism.

So, I’m chalking this up as a win! 🏆 :)

I provided a perfectly good argument re handholding. I’ve shared it again in this comment, below. And your “evidence” my motivation is “sour grapes” is what exactly? So far you’ve provided none whatsoever.

There is an interesting paradox in the Oxbridge system: while students are expected to develop considerable intellectual independence, construct original arguments and undertake substantial independent study, they are given considerably less responsibility for managing their own relationship with the institution. Their academic progress is closely monitored through regular supervisions or tutorials, frequent written assignments, continuous feedback and formal reporting. They have designated academic advisers, Directors of Studies and college tutors who take an active interest in their performance, identify problems and intervene when necessary. They are also embedded in a collegiate structure that provides ready access to academic staff, libraries, welfare services and established social and intellectual networks. In other words, they are encouraged to become independent thinkers within an unusually protective and highly structured institutional environment. By contrast, students at red-brick universities are generally expected to take much greater responsibility for organising their studies, seeking academic advice, interpreting feedback, identifying gaps in their knowledge and navigating the university's administrative and support structures themselves.

Yes, basically. I’d also say that before around 2015 students seemed to think we were largely on their side. Post 2015 — and particularly post-COVID — they more often regard us (their lecturers) with suspicion and distrust. The wider culture and economy is very anti-youth right now; and young people are — with reason — particularly angry about being loaded with enormous debt in order to support a declining post-Brexit economy and older generations who they perceive as having taken all the economic and professional benefits, and bought up all the housing that they won’t be able to afford.

That is oddly very high as the ONS has much lower % and a declining trend.
https://www.ons.gov.uk/employmentandlabourmarket/peopleinwork/employmentandemployeetypes/timeseries/aiwy/lms

I suppose 100% of 7th term applicants would have had a job but I don't think they would make up most of your applicants?!

Your data is certainly an outlier so something must be causing it. Perhaps the outreach office should do some research: are those with an employment history more/less likely to get an offer and do they perform better/worse than expected.

(I could speculate that someone somewhere has come up with the notion that having a part time /holiday job shows that you are not "privileged" and so the admissions staff will look on you kindly/more contextually and overlook your top private school/grammar school background?? And that idea has spread......)