Husband unwilling to support son financially through university

[Lozza70]

Sorry quite long so good if you get through!

DS1 is quite academic and is about to enter Y13. He did well in GCSE’s with seven 9’s, three 7’s, distinction in further maths and an A in HPQ. He wants to persue vet med and is currently predicted A*.

The issue I have is that DH has stated he does not want to support him in university. He would get minimum maintenance loan so we would need to top up and if he is successful in going into vet med I know there would be little time for a part time job, though I know it is possible. I could support in topping up though I have recently been made redundant so would need to dip into savings.

Neither DH or I went to university and started work at 18 with both of us working our way up to senior positions. I think this is one of the things tainting my husbands view on this matter. Plus the decision from DS1 to get into vet med when up to last year he always talked of another career which he could access from 18 with an apprenticeship approach. DH thinks our son is not really committed and this is just a fad but he has done loads of work experience and is still sure this is what he wants to do. I have asked if he did another path at uni would he support but he is of the same view. Generally DH is not ‘tight’ with money spent on the family so this has come as a surprise.

I suppose I’m disappointed as I think we
should be proud DS1 has the ability to access uni and we should support that. Has anyone had a similar experience and how did it work out?

It would be a deal breaker for me. I couldn’t stay with a man refusing to support our child.

If you left him and you’re on a low income your son would get full loan.

I think the Vet. Med. course was due to close completely at Cambridge due to several issues including poor teaching . But then they got a very last minute reprieve.

Incidentally there's no Vet. Med. course at Oxford.

I dint get it. Doesn't Your H want better for your child than he had himself? You both worked up from the bottom without university degrees so your child should therefore struggle from a similar position. Is this a jealousy or ego thing? Do you have enough money to provide support? Is he worried about finances? Most people would want to do everything to give there kids the gest head start.

When I was at uni I had friends who's parents finances them totally. They also took all the student loan possible and put it in savings. At the end if the degree they used the student loan money for a deposit on a flat.

Cambridge course - If you read becoming a vet section sounds like there are still some issues re accreditation to be decided.

https://www.undergraduate.study.cam.ac.uk/courses/veterinary-medicine-vetmb

The fact that the OP’s son won’t get the maintenance loan means his parents are earning well above the average.

That's not the case unfortunately.

A HH income of a bit over £62k means minimum loan. If both parents work FT (and with uni-age DC that's fairly likely) that's 2 x £32k salaries. Hardly big bucks. The median salary in the UK for all employees (inc part time actually) is £32,890. So you can be on a deeply average salary and your DC gets the min loan.

The course did receive full accreditation from the European Association of Establishments of Veterinary Education - see 22 June 2026.
www.vet.cam.ac.uk/news/cambridge-vet-school-celebrates-full-eaeve-accreditation-success

@Imdunfer You obviously are not a vet then or indeed any professional that requires a degree. You are not a teen of today and this teen wants to be a vet and they must get a degree.