Fledglings 2026 - support, discussion and looking after each other

[ComingInByAnsible]

A thread for parents of Year 13 leavers as they go on to universities, apprenticeships and other new adventures.

DS is off to Warwick to study PPE.

What’s she studying ?

Morning,

Just catching up with everyone's updates. I have been biding my time to see how DD settles. It has been very positive overall, a bit of freshers flu very early on which I expected. She was exhausted after about 4 days of going out for freshers so has quickly adjusted to not going out as much since.

DD is 3 weeks in now after two extremely full on weeks of recapping biology they start their first patient case study this week. DD came home this weekend but only because we are going away soon so she didn't want to leave it too long to see the cats she is missing so much 😂. She has been so excited about her learning, placements and new friends that I am relaxing now. I am acutely aware of how enduring these initial friendships may be so know there will be more ups and downs in the coming weeks.

DD has tentatively mentioned who she may live with next year but I really hope these decisions can be put off for a while as it does feel far too soon to know who you can tolerate living with for a year from next year!

I felt I dealt with her leaving much better than I expected and have been very busy at work since she's been gone. I was surprised at how much I have missed her though and how delighted I was to see her little smiling face when she was getting off the train!

We've just dropped DD off at the airport for her au-pair year abroad, so we're empty-nesters now too! And DS still seems to be enjoying life to the fullest. He's auditioning for two different bands, but his academic timetable hasn't quite been finalised. I suspect he will be a very busy young man.

@PhotoDad I am finding having an empty home quite discombobulating! I felt I coped quiet well with DS moving away but it's the evenings where I am really going to have to find a hobby or something.

Not only has DS moved away but my partner is currently also working in the evenings and then will be away for the whole of Nov. My flat is very quiet!

On the plus side there is less mess and less cooking!

@AuntyBulgaria I'm using my empty time to do all the decorating I've been putting off. DP only stays here half the week and is starting to get used to random areas or items having been painted while he's away.

It's still weird not to have to buy so much food, or go as often, and my washing machine stays quiet for whole days at a time now!

Like @AuntyBulgaria and @Shodan, my DW is away roughly half the time with work. And I retired from teaching a month ago! So there will be a certain amount of adjusting. I am rather looking forward to the house staying tidy through the week.

I do have several hobbies, plus might pick up some part-time work. There are also about ten years' worth of TV, books, films, and games to catch up on!

Scenic arts. That is set and prop making for theatre/TV ...

Good to read that most YP (and parents!) are settling in well, even if some had more of a tricky start.

We went to see DS this weekend. It felt incredibly good to be able to give him a hug. He’s a bit under the weather and pretty exhausted and busy but is loving it. Has thrown himself into everything (some expected and some pretty unexpected), is meeting lots of people, enjoying his classes. There’s a lot of learning to do (yes, DS, household chores do indeed take an annoying amount of time!) but it’s a relief to know he feels he’s in the right place and on the right course.

Very similar here @ComingInByAnsible - saw our DS on Sat and he's busy, tired, and a bit skinnier already, but is enjoying it all and clearly in the right place. Gave him big hugs, a slap-up lunch and gifts (it's his birthday this week) and felt a bit less bereft when we left him this time, but also glad we went to see him. Needed that top-up/check-in and think he did too. His brother coped better saying goodbye this time (they're besties so it's been extra hard for him) and is adjusting to being the only DC at home now, benefitting from more attention. We've got a bunch of 6th form open evenings this week so a sense of it all starting up again and the spectre of a truly empty nest in the future. Which is ofc as it should be, but it all takes time to feel these things and acclimatise.

Lovely to hear how things are falling into place for everyone.

DS will head off out to Europe later this week. I’m leaving him to it packing-wise. Currently it looks like chaos but he assured me that he’s working to a list!.

I also seem to have loads more time now and I don't really understand why as DS hasn't needed me to do much for him for the past couple of years. Maybe it's just that the house feels quieter and more empty? I'm filling the time with extra gym visits so far but could do with a more sociable hobby too.

I'm missing DS more as the time goes on! I was surprisingly OK at first but finding it harder now. It's now officially the longest we've been apart and it's also his birthday this week, so I'm struggling a bit with those milestones
But on the upside (and it's a massive upside!) he's having the time of his life! He's settled in really quickly, coping well with looking after himself, meeting people, enjoying his course etc. I've got a strong sense that he's exactly where he's supposed to be right now, which does help me cope.
I haven't been to see him yet. His girlfriend is visiting for his birthday and kindly took a load of gifts and treats, so I'll give him some space before having another visitor. He does need a suit apparently, as he's signed up for mooting competitions so I think he'd appreciate being taken shopping!

@Muchtoomuchtodo, that’s exciting! Hope all has gone well with the packing and his adventures have a great start. Where is he off to first?

Gosh, @HighburyHope, the French system does seem brutal! Hope her exams went well yesterday.

@Roundaboot, it must be hard not seeing your DS on his birthday, I hope he had a good day with his GF visiting. Great that he is settling in so well.

@PhotoDad, my work is super stressful right now so I have to say that your retirement plans sound very appealing! Would love to have the time to catch up with books, movies and hobbies! Hope you thoroughly enjoy what must be well-earned rest.

@bluefineliner, glad to read that your DD is so excited about her course and friendships. And wow, a patient case already! Lol at the mention of the cats, my DS misses our cat the most too!

@Shodan, love that you have thrown yourself into painting. Hope it’s going well. Your house is going to look amazing!

@pinkdelight, lovely to read about your visit to Warwick. A very happy birthday to your DS!

Here DS is home for the weekend in honour of his sister’s birthday (several birthdays on this thread this week!). It’s so nice to have him back, he’s still half ill though with very little voice! Having a great time and very much burning the candle at both ends (hmm, DS, that might have something to do with not shaking off this cold), but complaining about how much of his life is taken by washing up and walking across campus 😂

@ComingInByAnsible - how lovely that your DS is at home and that you have a family birthday to celebrate! I sympathise with him on the never-ending cold which has also found our house and refuses to leave.

DD’s exam yesterday was postponed due to civil unrest. She is certainly getting a real-time education in French politics and culture.

@ComingInByAnsible lovely that your dc is home. Hopefully some tlc will
help him to shake off the germs.

DS is basing himself in Austria and will travel
around with the team

That sound amazing !