Fledglings 2026 - support, discussion and looking after each other

[ComingInByAnsible]

A thread for parents of Year 13 leavers as they go on to universities, apprenticeships and other new adventures.

DS is off to Warwick to study PPE.

We had a lovely 48hrs with DD when she flew home from France for the weekend. She says she’s enjoying spreading her wings as an adult, while knowing that home is always there for her (aaah!). She has been “promoted” to study with the 2nd years for one of her option modules (a language - she’s a very good linguist). Socially happy too. It was great to hear.

@ComingInByAnsiblefantastic news! She really is brave and clearly thriving. What a relief.

We haven't had any calls yet bc DD thinks it might make her too homesick this week. But we're getting lots of texts. Some sad but most are chatty and happy (mostly because she gets on really well with her housemates who apparently are 'down to earth and cool'). Still living for those messages but I'm weaning myself off the tracking app. If my parents had had it in the 90s I would've deleted it! Not that we had phones, THANK GOD.

I have managed to grab a quick 10min call, but we've had lots of WhatsApps.

He has started lectures which seems to be fine. He has done so much sport - yesterday were some trials for volleyball and basketball he has also been to the gym and running. Sounds exhausting!

I would really like some photos to see what's going on. Also I have lots of mundane questions that I am trying very hard not to ask as I will sound a bit clingy.

We had a phone call a couple of days ago and the odd text, but not video calls (we'd asked for one the first day) - I suspect he'd find that too hard - seeing us and home. Which is fair enough.

I wouldn't worry about sounding clingy :-) I intend to ask what he's been eating next time we get a call. Just to encourage some good eating! Plenty of news about pub crawls and no mention of eating!

We had a call yesterday to say he had done his first big shop and had bought too much to carry home on his bike! So had to catch the bus and go back for bike later.

ds has already had his bike stolen, think he wishes he had taken his car.

My DD messaged earlier to say she has done her first proper room clean and washing 😂 . She also added that her money is running low this week. This is what happens when you go out a lot.

DS messaged on Monday, before any of his lectures started to say he was "smashing this uni shit" as he'd been to the library and done all the recommended reading for the week 😂He's also done his first laundry run and trip to the supermarket. So far so good, and we've agreed to have a proper catch up at the weekend which I am really looking forward to!

I was finding it hard to work out the right level of messaging. At first, I was holding off as I didn't want to bother him but actually, we normally message quite a lot. Just random bits and pieces during the day, photos of the cats, telling him what I'm doing with my day etc so I've gone back to doing that. I don't want him to think we've all forgotten about him! I'll save the nagging about eating vegetables and getting enough sleep when we talk at the weekend. I also really want to hear about his lectures

Had a call from Dd as has made her first lunch and was going to have her lunch. I was on lunch break so she came via video call and we both had lunch together 😀

Oh no!! Has he reported it to the police? Where my dd is there’s absolutely no parking for a car.

My dd is back at uni, seems much better after being really ill with freshers flu although just FaceTimed me with a nosebleed 🤦‍♀️ never had one before so a bit weird.

Mine sounds really sad despite going out and socialising .

My DD has been incredible at getting involved (something we'd not expected) but she's tired and crashing quite badly now we're approaching the end of week 1. She's worried the dog will forget her 🥹 and says she wasn't ready to leave home, but thinks she's in the right place but she's sad and wants to teleport home etc etc I've spoken to her in the phone but she was uncharacteristically quiet and seemed to be crying. I told her to prioritise sleep ( her Freshers week has been packed).

I really hope she feels better soon; it's a little bit heartbreaking.

This is what mine sounds like . She’s been out . Mixing , meeting new people . But she’s tired , missing home , feels like she knows role but they’re not her fiends etc but also says she’s in the right place. She’s gone to visit home friends for the weekend ( has been there three weeks already ). And I’m going she will recharge .
shes feeling overwhelmed by it all.
she says she’s know it’s up to her to continue making the effort. I know it’s normal to feel a little out of sorts , new city , new people etc Takes it out of you to be on all the time. Unfortunately I think the only remedy is time when it come to feeling like this until familiarity settles in and new people start feeling like friends . She still
hasnt found a society she loves . A lot of them falling on similar days and times makes them harder to try out.
she’s also realising not everyone you meet in freshers is your type of person and who she’s beginning to click with .
Hope your child feels better soon .

@RockyKeenI hope her weekend away helps her. I can't remember how long it took me to feel settled but I keep telling my daughter that I do remember struggling a bit at first at uni and feeling homesick despite hating home! She needs to know that coming home isn't a panacea - she'd sit around on the sofa feeling lonely and sad. The problem is, uni doesn't feel like a safe familiar place yet, but it will (hopefully) and then things might shift.

She used to love playing the SIMS so I told her last night that she's a bit like a SIM who's just been picked up and dropped into a new house. No wonder she's waving her arms around and yelling at the ceiling.

DS is exhausted too @Tomrrowandtomorrowandtommorrow @RockyKeen
He came home yesterday to go to a new pizza restaurant with a couple of school friends, they were home by 10pm as they were all tired (he was home before me) he stayed here so is watching F1 qualifying with us which is nice.
Off to Leeds on the bus later to catch up with his friends.
He has joined lots of clubs, likes his flatmates and seems to be settling in well 😍

Mine has now been away a full month with no visits home, the first 2 weeks were horrendous, I wasn’t sure it was going to work as she was just so sad and miserable, week 3 got better and - finally this week has been incredible and she is super happy and settled. So it can take time. And she really was very bad . I was talking to her on video call about 3 times a day and messaging the rest of the time - now we chat once a day and still message all the time which is a lovely surprise I wasn’t expecting that! Like pp we do usually message all the time so it’s lovely it’s continuing. We quite often chat on video after her lectures while we’re both having lunch and I get a rundown of them!

@Countrylife2002that's extremely reassuring to hear. You must be so relieved! I hope we get to the same place soon.

I dropped my dd off just over 3 weeks ago with the help of one of her friends. It took quite some convincing for her to allow me to do drop off. She wanted a friend to do it, I think it’s the embarrassment factor. It was supposed to be dh and I. However, fil unfortunately died on the Monday prior and dh, who is foreign, had to go abroad to sort everything out.

The (private) halls accidentally gave dd the wrong room. She was supposed to be in a different apartment, but it’s all quite serendipitous as she ended up in the same flat as a girl she made contact with on her course prior to arrival. The 2 girls have hit it off like a house on fire and she said people have asked if they’re twins as they look very similar.

I have been quite concerned about how she will cope. She’s had 2 years of being very unwell. But she seems to be doing ok right now, still a way to go yet. And she came home for a surprise visit on Friday just for the night, which was lovely. First we knew was banging at the door, because she forgot to take a key…

She’s only an hour tops door to door, which is just perfect. She wanted to move hours away despite my trying to explain why that wasn’t ideal for her. In the end, a teacher helped her to get on a different course through clearing, which I think actually suits her better. And this way she gets the independence she’s absolutely been craving, but close enough for anything she needs. She now admitted I was right and is really happy to be so close to home.

We only saw her a couple of weeks ago for fil’s funeral and as soon as we got back (from abroad), she was off to university, having organised a friend to drop her back. She just never stops, which is also why I’m pleased she’s so close as she can come home anytime to recharge.

After the first few days of pure hell (me - he seemed to be ok!), we also seemed to get into a bit of normal texting about general things for a couple of days. In which he kept saying he was going to call later then didn't. Then called out of the blue while we were out somewhere and it was difficult to talk! Said call back later. Tried the odd time for a couple of days and gave up. He seems very busy which is good, and probably having a good time! Also didn't want to seem like a pestering parent so I stopped trying and will wait. He will contact when he needs something!

And then we had a phone call :-) That was nice he's been busy having a lot of fun by the sound of it, including a lot of drinking! First week over and down to the studying side now.

@manywanderings great to hear your DS sounds like he is having a great time.

To the DC that are struggling a bit I hope they are starting to find their way.

My DS has settled in pretty well from what I can tell (he is not telling us much!). I have already had to buy a new tablet as he needs a touchscreen to draw graphs, which i'm sure paper is suitable for but what do I know.

His dad asked him to send a picture of his room as he hasn't seen it and DS admitted to not having opened his curtains once since starting!

He and everyone he knows has had Freshers flu which has curtailed things a bit but he really wants to get on some sports teams so is keen to get running.

It just sounds so much fun - I wish I could go!

I felt that when we dropped him off too. I want to stay here! It was a weird mix of not wanting to leave him there and wanting to move in myself and have fun - everything needed on campus as well - very convenient!

The weekend away has done her the world of good , she’s heading back much more positive. Some of her friends are going up next Saturday for comicon Liverpool, has already made plans for the week for the week so enough to keep her busy!
hope all your yp have had a lovely weekend .

haha, me too! Partly because Sussex was actually my first choice way back when, but I didn't get the grades. No real regrets as I loved where I ended up, but I also think I would have really enjoyed living in Brighton, and I'm envious of the student lifestyle, to be honest! I really enjoyed my uni days and I'd love to do it all again