Leaving home and moving to uni countdown

[Claymoreiron]

Is there a thread for this? In a matter of weeks many of us will be packing our DCs off to university. I am thrilled for my DS who has worked so hard and is so excited to start university life. However, I am also dreading it in equal measure and know that emotionally this transition will be tough for me.

How is everyone?

@Denim4ever that must be worrying, is he feeling positive?

Thanks for your kind reply. I should explain that DS has had to have a safety/emergency plan to return and all sorts of arrangements in place. My worry re triggering would be that returning to halls - even though they are different halls - is going to make us think about the night of his medical emergency.

Thanks, I'm sure he will be fine. Medical safety plan in place

Yes, he's meeting up with someone on his course last year who is in the similar position of having a serious health condition.

That must have been extremely scary for you all, but great Uni is understanding and have things in place. No wonder you’re anxious, I hope you have someone to speak to there too.

Let us know how it goes, m sure we can all do some virtual handholding ❤️

@Denim4ever - I totally understand the worry. My DS (off to uni in October) has a health condition that now thankfully seems totally under control with medication - but there's always the niggling fear that it could return when he's away.

I try to comfort myself with the fact that while it's a condition that can be very serious and even life threatening, he has navigated his independent young adult life so far without any problems. Went off travelling in the summer and was totally fine. It is scary but they have to go and live their lives - we can't just keep them under our watch forever

Thank you

Sorry I pressed 'send' too soon! But @Denim4ever - I do know what you're going through with the flashbacks and the worry. It's really hard, and brings an extra level of stress to a life stage that most parents find pretty challenging in the first place!

Beyond helping to ensure various plans are in place if DS becomes unwell again, I try not to dwell on 'what if this happens? What if that happens?' - because worrying doesn't really help anything. Easier said than done I know, but sending love xx

@Denim4ever dd had to have an unexpected “gap year” due to health issues in her UG degree. She went back a year later and was fine, she did however live at home (always had done even before she was poorly). She’s moving out a week today for her Masters and this will be the first time she’s ever left home. She has chronic health conditions so yes I am a bit nervous but she has to become independent.

My DD is off next weekend. She's my youngest and my eldest has just moved 5 hours away. I'm going to miss her so much, she is such a joy to have around. I'm also going to miss having someone who laughs at my jokes! We got small double sheets and a topper from Dunelm, and a double duvet. We've taught her some easy nutritional recipes so hopefully she won't live on tomato soup and chicken noodles! Some of the student sites have a list of things to bring which we've found useful.

Had my first serious pang of sadness today. Knew it would happen at some point. I'm excited for her to go and have this experience and be more independent but I'm also feeling quite sick and a bit worried - even though I know she's enormously capable.

I wish your DD all the best and I know you understand how I'm feeling 💕

Thanks, I'm very much attempting to approach it this way. We will get there 💕

Thank you. She’s just had a meltdown as I’ve pointed out she’ll need to find a new GP in her university city. She was asking me what to do as her GP here has made her a medication review for the end of Sept and she doesn’t know what to do about getting her meds. I simply said she needs to register with a new doctor and get her repeat prescriptions via them, that her current doctor will send over medical details.

She refuses to believe I’m right….says she wants to stay with the home GP and just register as a temporary patient in her university city or go to a walk in if she’s poorly. I get why she’s nervous, she’s got a good relationship with one of the GPs here and she also really likes her consultant at the hospital.

There’s no need to swap Gp to one near uni. Mine didn’t, she was only at uni just over 6 months of year 1.

Maybe then. Although Dd has already said she hopes to get a job and stay in Manchester over the summer. 🤷‍♀️. She says she’s going to talk to the student union for advice on the topic as I know nothing about it so will leave her to it 😁

Obviously depends on how often they need to go. I’d leave it up to her then you can’t be blamed!

Good advice 😁

@Denim4ever@Stargazetrampoline@YanTanTetheraPetheraBumfittyour situations resonate with me as DS - heading to Manchester in just under two weeks time - has a health condition that is not fully managed by medication & my expectation is that he is likely to be unwell at uni at some point (epilepsy diagnosed in December & medicated but has occasional breakthrough seizures we think triggered by infections). He is so excited about going as delayed a year due to the health problems that started in March last year, but I am very nervous. Trying to channel this into ensuring he has support on the ground & a safety plan. A couple of his mates from our town will also be at the same uni although in different halls & on different courses, which gives me some reassurance. Luckily he is open about his condition which is positive. Proud of his determination & resilience. He is organised & has had part time jobs since aged 16 but is not good in the kitchen! He’s our only DC so I will have really bad empty nest!

She does need to swap GPs, if she needs regular meds the advice is always switch to the one where you spend the majority of your time. Just because GPs have a boundary/catchment area which you must be in as a patient. Now technically if she doesn't inform them he's going, they'll never know as she can come back home etc but the boundary is typically including prescription limits for what pharmacy's they can send them to.

So if she needs a prescription every month, she'll have to let them know he wants it at x pharmacy and they may refuse to do so, depending on the distance, it's really up to them. But most won't as they already have so many patients in the actual boundary.

It's always better to register at the place where you can then see your GP whenever you need to - she may need medication reviews and have flare ups. I'd definitely change for logistics. Unless she's not going that far, and universities may have walk-in-centers but they often ate just like a minor injuries, not for monitoring a chronic condition or prescribing repeat meds.

Staying with the same hospital/consultant in secondary care makes sense as otherwise you'd have to go on a waiting list for a hospital near her in university. Plus she can come down for the occasional appointments with a consultant. Even if she still lived at home, she could have chosen (when referred) a hospital further out under right to choose, so she doesn't need the GP and consultant to be in the dame trust etc. I'd just let the university Disability team know, and they'll be fine if she has to come back for a day to see her consultant.

Also I'd get her to cancel the appointment with her home GP, if she's moving out before then, as she'll just be wasting an appointment. Maybe try and get it moved up and then get a last prescription of everything for a month, to hold her over till she can male an appointment with the new GP. She can register with the new GP now but just ask them to not process it till x date, so she's still under her home GP. She'll need to do the med review with new GP within the month as most don't prescribe first without an appointment.

Mine have always kept GPs even dd2 who has medication prescribed monthly. There's never been an issue.

Tbf actually seeing our go face to face happens once in a blue moon only in a month with a q in, and phone consultations can happen anywhere.
For her medication they're happy to send the prescription to a pharmacy near her if we're not going to see her. Or you can set it up with something like pharmacies for you who deliver.

@legosnowqueen that must be quite scary….when he has a seizure does he normally come round on his own? I’m sure if he has one any course mates or flat mates would look after him as required and hopefully it would be short lasting.

dd is on blood thinners so I worry about her cutting herself or banging her head. She also has coeliac disease and if she gets glutened she has an extreme reaction, not just the projectile vomiting but she comes across like she’s drunk, slurred speech, incoherent, semi conscious and collapsing. I’ve had to physically carry her out of a restaurant before now.

@TheLivelyViper thank you, that was my understanding too about the GP. Good to know she could have a gp in one place and a consultant in another, i didn’t know that.

i see @MargaretThursday has said keeping the gp can work out. Definitely going to leave it up to Dd to decide. I think she’s assuming I can post her blood thinners to her every month. Technically I can, but I can see there being delays, lost in the post etc.

I am just having the same discussion around GP'S and meds. You can just nominate a different pharmacy so she can pick up her prescription without any posting up to her issues I think if they agree.
I am hoping we can do that and then she can stay at her home GP and just use the campus health centre for smaller ailments. I have emailed the practice to ask them what they recommend.

Try not to worry, as your DS has a diagnosed condition and you have the safety plan etc. my DSs uni 'buddy' for his return is an epileptic and he does sometimes have infections. Uni have been very good.

My DS wasn't diagnosed with his health condition when he went to uni last Sept. He's dyspraxic, so he was signed up with disability and inclusion. He had suffered with various aches and pains over his teen years and he began uni with a really bad back ache. We'd no idea this would turn out to be a problem that would lead to collapse. The prognosis is pretty good, but it does still feel like it came oughta nowhere. I do wonder how we managed not to pick up it wasn't just growing pains.