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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Original poster

Leaving home and moving to uni countdown

314 replies

Claymoreiron · 18/08/2025 05:09

Is there a thread for this? In a matter of weeks many of us will be packing our DCs off to university. I am thrilled for my DS who has worked so hard and is so excited to start university life. However, I am also dreading it in equal measure and know that emotionally this transition will be tough for me.

How is everyone?

OP posts:
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9
MonkeyTennis34 · 19/08/2025 13:27

DS2 is off to Liverpool on the 12th September, never having changed his bedclothes, something which he will learn how to do in about 1 minute.
@Delphigirl
3rules of life:

  1. Be kind.
  2. Be kind
  3. Be kind.
FrenchandSaunders · 19/08/2025 13:36

Ignoring the turn that this thread has taken .... can I just say how much I loved visiting DD in her uni town. It was about 3 hours from home and I spent several weekends there over the course of 3 years. Treating her to meals out/drinks/cinema ... it was always hugely appreciated because they don't usually have a lot of money.

I did miss her enormously but the visits made up for it ... she loved her uni city so much that she stayed there and has now got a job and a lovely girlfriend, and they're buying a house. So I'm still visiting, and it's a gorgeous place.

Exciting times ahead for you all 😍

ilovebagpuss · 19/08/2025 14:45

DD is off to Lancaster end of Sept. She can do all the life stuff I am just a bit worried about the mental health stuff as big changes do affect her.
I really want her to have a good time.
We have been shopping for a lot of basics and some she will take from home but I saved up instead of a holiday so we could get her a few nice new bits like new bedding and a laptop as she doesn't have one.
We got some nice cheap crockery from The Range bowls and plates for £1.60 each.
The beds in her halls are extra long so we had to fork out for a expensive random fitted sheet!

badasscafe1 · 19/08/2025 18:13

Ineedcoffeenow · 18/08/2025 10:43

DD is also going to a Scottish uni, but we’re just an hour away.

I’ve got pen and paper in the kitchen and adding stuff to the list as I remember it. It’s getting long! Everyone so far has said they need a mattress topper. Having seen the mattresses in halls. I’d agree! But it’s a 3/4 double bed which makes it trickier.

report back if you find a mattress topper-- on my list as well!

SockFluffInTheBath · 19/08/2025 19:48

Dunelm have small double toppers. Not the lovely gel one we got for DS and his easy single bed, but they do have a few to choose from.

SockFluffInTheBath · 19/08/2025 19:49

DD can put a wash on, make her bed, poach eggs and open a jar of pesto, so I think she will survive.

TheWoollybacksWife · 19/08/2025 20:06

We need to wait for DS's accommodation allocation to come through before doing any significant shopping - I've got towels and some kitchen items that were used by his older sisters but I'm holding off buying bedding until we know what's going to be in his room.

He's downloaded the NHS app and will be checking his vaccination records. We think there was a lockdown that meant the second shot of the HPV vax didn't get done and then I was ping ponged between the school and the GP when I tried to check. It should also tell him if he has had all the meningitis shots he needs.

Beamur · 19/08/2025 20:13

DD is off mid September. She's excited, I'm excited for her but we have talked about it won't be fun all the time and wobbles are to be expected! For her (and me)
Have obtained some collapsible crates for taking stuff in. Trying to keep it minimal but cover the essentials!
Will miss her like mad but quite looking forward to the extra time to myself I will get.

Dizzy82 · 19/08/2025 20:21

My son,19, is moving into university accommodation on 5th Sept. He was diagnosed ASD aged 5, didn't sit any GCSE exams but has done amazingly well doing music at college.

He is bright but not very practical so I'm expecting lots of text messages lol! He has just managed 4 days camping at a music festival though. I'm especially thankful that he is moving in with 3 friends.

I'm really going to miss him as we get on amazingly well, he's like my shadow.

PinotPony · 19/08/2025 20:34

DS (20) is off to Oxford Brookes on 13 Sept. He’s sorted out everything that he needs from bedding to crockery - all boxed up in his room. He’s not buying expensive kitchen equipment until he’s talked to the other people in his halls. No point having 8 air fryers! I’ve put together a box of groceries too - pasta, tea bags, baked beans - just to get him started.

He’s already a good cook and does healthy dinners most evenings as I get in from work late. On the accommodation WhatsApp, there’s already been suggestion that he’ll be the resident chef if the others buy the shopping and wash up!

He’s made friends with another first year who already works in a local bar so has sent his CV over and is hoping to get a PT job there.

I’m going to miss him terribly but am really excited for him. Have encouraged him to put himself out there and try as many clubs and activities as he can.

cloudtree · 19/08/2025 20:41

ilovebagpuss · 19/08/2025 14:45

DD is off to Lancaster end of Sept. She can do all the life stuff I am just a bit worried about the mental health stuff as big changes do affect her.
I really want her to have a good time.
We have been shopping for a lot of basics and some she will take from home but I saved up instead of a holiday so we could get her a few nice new bits like new bedding and a laptop as she doesn't have one.
We got some nice cheap crockery from The Range bowls and plates for £1.60 each.
The beds in her halls are extra long so we had to fork out for a expensive random fitted sheet!

Is she in a Grizedale college or County college townhouse? DS is too!

BadWoIf · 19/08/2025 20:53

Maggiethecat · 19/08/2025 09:23

So busy that they can’t change a bed? Do they manage to
make it up each day or are they given a pass for that too?

Show quote history

It could be that his mum likes to pamper him a bit.
Perhaps she's very particular and like it done just so.

Maybe she's taught him to clean like a demon but never got round to bed changing and cooking until this week.
Whichever way, so what! It's not compulsory to learn at 12, or 15. He's learning now, before he goes to uni, and that's the main thing.

MyOtherProfile · 19/08/2025 21:13

BadWoIf · 19/08/2025 20:53

It could be that his mum likes to pamper him a bit.
Perhaps she's very particular and like it done just so.

Maybe she's taught him to clean like a demon but never got round to bed changing and cooking until this week.
Whichever way, so what! It's not compulsory to learn at 12, or 15. He's learning now, before he goes to uni, and that's the main thing.

Show quote history

Exactly!

Maybe the parents were busy teaching their child basic social skills and how not to be mean and judgy!

Anyway my eldest is off to London in 4 weeks gulp - he's very excited but barely home long enough to get any shopping and packing done.

Ineedcoffeenow · 19/08/2025 21:34

DD has started looking for jobs. I’ve said to her it may be better to wait a few weeks until she’s settled in and knows her timetable. She doesn’t have any experience of working in hospitality so I don’t know if what the chances are of finding something (she has worked for someone doing glitter tattoos and volunteered at the local stables).

Missmissmissmiss · 19/08/2025 21:56

I'm feeling very wobbly about DD heading off to uni in a few weeks. My mum passed away in May, so the sense of loss feels bigger than it might otherwise have done.
Looking back to my own uni experience, I remember how exciting it was to be living away from home for the first time, and I know that DD is ready to head off on her own adventures. She's incredibly organised and can't wait to cook for herself and do all of the mundane housekeeping tasks that lost their shine for me many years ago!
It's a bittersweet time for parents, I guess, so lovely to be able to chat with people who get it.

piscofrisco · 19/08/2025 22:10

Ah Thankyou for this thread. DD is off to Bristol on the 13th September. I’m so proud of her (she had a tricky time as a younger teen and at one point a levels seemed impossible but she got there and did phenomenally well), and I’m excited for her, but I’m sure like all of us, dreading her going. My beloved dad died two weeks ago and we are in the process of moving house. So it feels like a lot of change (and alot of planning and organising) in a very short period of time and I’m feeling a bit teary this evening.
We have been to dunhelm for some bits today now that we have her accommodation allocation. I can’t believe the price of mattress toppers!

SchoolNightWine · 19/08/2025 22:11

PinotPony · 19/08/2025 20:34

DS (20) is off to Oxford Brookes on 13 Sept. He’s sorted out everything that he needs from bedding to crockery - all boxed up in his room. He’s not buying expensive kitchen equipment until he’s talked to the other people in his halls. No point having 8 air fryers! I’ve put together a box of groceries too - pasta, tea bags, baked beans - just to get him started.

He’s already a good cook and does healthy dinners most evenings as I get in from work late. On the accommodation WhatsApp, there’s already been suggestion that he’ll be the resident chef if the others buy the shopping and wash up!

He’s made friends with another first year who already works in a local bar so has sent his CV over and is hoping to get a PT job there.

I’m going to miss him terribly but am really excited for him. Have encouraged him to put himself out there and try as many clubs and activities as he can.

Wow, I’m so impressed with this! I’d have been just the same, but my DS definitely doesn’t take after me🥴

piscofrisco · 19/08/2025 22:19

Sorry for your loss @MissmissmissmissThus is the first big life thing either dd or I will do without her lovely Grampa and we miss him so much. He would have been so proud of her as I’m sure your Mum would be too x

KimHwn · 19/08/2025 22:23

Thank you for this thread! DS is off at the end of September and to be honest, I've been dreading it for years. I know it's the right thing for him, and I have faith that he'll be okay, but I will miss him very very much. I'm trying not to show him how much because he's a kind person and would worry about me fretting!

KimHwn · 19/08/2025 22:24

piscofrisco · 19/08/2025 22:10

Ah Thankyou for this thread. DD is off to Bristol on the 13th September. I’m so proud of her (she had a tricky time as a younger teen and at one point a levels seemed impossible but she got there and did phenomenally well), and I’m excited for her, but I’m sure like all of us, dreading her going. My beloved dad died two weeks ago and we are in the process of moving house. So it feels like a lot of change (and alot of planning and organising) in a very short period of time and I’m feeling a bit teary this evening.
We have been to dunhelm for some bits today now that we have her accommodation allocation. I can’t believe the price of mattress toppers!

I'm so sorry about your dad. That's got to be very very hard for you, I hope you're bearing up.

Missmissmissmiss · 19/08/2025 22:29

Condolences to you and your DD @piscofrisco. I'm sure our parents would be incredibly proud. It's a lot to deal with, but we'll all manage the best we can.

madameimadam · 19/08/2025 22:43

That’s a lot of change @piscofrisco. Sorry to hear about your dad. ❤️

DS is off to Loughborough 5 weeks today. It’s his dream but as he seems to be starting later than lots of his peers, I don’t think it’s sunk in yet.

Im definitely more excited than he is!! He can change a bed and make a few decent meals although he has a blind spot where the washing machine is concerned

Beamur · 19/08/2025 22:48

Im definitely more excited than he is!! He can change a bed and make a few decent meals although he has a blind spot where the washing machine is concerned
Do you think that might change when he runs out of clean clothes? 😄
My DD is quite capable but on the lazy side! I think she's going to find just how much she'll have to do for herself a complete pain.

TheLivelyViper · 19/08/2025 23:13

Ineedcoffeenow · 19/08/2025 21:34

DD has started looking for jobs. I’ve said to her it may be better to wait a few weeks until she’s settled in and knows her timetable. She doesn’t have any experience of working in hospitality so I don’t know if what the chances are of finding something (she has worked for someone doing glitter tattoos and volunteered at the local stables).

I would say this depends on her course as well. Humanities and arts have lower contact hours, so more free time but more to do independently compared to STEM, which has higher contact time. I'd have a look for Jo's earlier just because many students will want some and it may be competitive, she'll likely get her timetable (depending on when she starts) in late August/early September so can get a better gauge then.

Condolences @piscofrisco, I wish you all the best and hope you're taking care of yourself.

piscofrisco · 20/08/2025 09:12

Thankyou all for your kind thoughts-it’s a bit of a time to be sure and I’m certainly not sleeping very well-lots to race around the mind at 2am-but we will endure as we must.
We were actually meant to drive to France for a week in a kindly leant friends alpine chalet tomorrow, but our car has developed a serious issue (and the other one is too small and rickety for such a journey ) so we have cancelled it and I’m secretly relieved as that was feeling like a step too far!
I too feel DD is also going to be shocked by how much she will have to do for herself. We were in Tesco yesterday and she said ‘ I’m going to have to do this on my own aren’t I? And pay for my own shampoo and things?’ Yep! 😂 I was exactly the same tbh-totally naive. But it did me good as I hope it will her.