Cost of student accommodation, I could cry

[ElbowsUpRising]

So Dd has found out today she’s been accepted into Manchester and is looking at accommodation, of course all the stuff she likes is £260 a week. 51 week contract as well! It’s all the fancy, swish stuff though she is adamant the reason she wants the expensive stuff is because she’s prioritising her safety as she wants something close as she’s “terrified of getting raped” if she has to walk back to her digs late at night.

she won’t consider a house share, she won’t consider cheaper halls a bit further out.

so accommodation is looking at 13k a year! She will get minimum student loan so think that’s 5k.

she won’t be able to work partly due to her health- she has fibromyalgia but nowhere near bad enough for PIP. Also she will be doing architecture Masters which if anything like her undergraduate degree will be too full on to be able to work as well.

so we will need to find another 8k a year plus however much she will need per week for food, etc. I’m guessing over £50 a week. Nearer £100 a week? So another 5k. How the fuck do people find 13k a year?

im trying to impress on her the difference that cheaper accommodation will make on her (us) and she’s just going nuts and accusing me of risking her safety and putting her at risk of being raped!

Is £260 a week normal?

Your DD needs to work for a year before she does this OP. You’ve been very generous supporting her this far but if she wants to study further she needs to get some savings together. This is what my DD is doing following the four year degree course that nearly bankrupted me (mainly due to accommodation costs!). A Masters is a great thing to achieve but ONLY IF the person studying for it can afford it. The emotional blackmail wouldn’t win me over I’m afraid and at some point (now?) she’ll have to learn how to keep herself safe just the same as everyone else does. Maybe encourage her to sign up to self-defence classes if this is something that’s holding her back from making sensible decisions?

That’s crazy. My son is at Birmingham and in his first year at halls we paid about 7k. She’s not being reasonable.

She’s worked for a year doing her Part 1 in an architecture practice. I don’t believe she’s saved any money from this, if I’m wrong then she’s keeping that very quiet.

I did say to her yesterday about how she ought to find out about an offer holder day, etc. she said she’s too busy travelling. It’s up to her to sort it out/look dates up, I doubt she’ll bother.

Hi my DD is coming to the end of her 3 year UG degree in Manchester.
I think the city is safe enough if you keep your wits about you, as in any large city. Transport is very good with lots of buses. City centre walkable. Lots of students. My DD has lived in Hulme and Ardwick. Both a bit scruffy but she has been safe. She has visited friends in Rusholme and Fallowfield both of which are studenty. She is however used to travelling to London independently from our home so I understand if you are from a more rural place it may seem scary , but honestly I’d say it’s not a dangerous city to live and travel at all. But I feel your pain with the cost!

@ElbowsUpRising

Will she be applying for the DSA, OP? She would probably be eligible.

https://www.gov.uk/disabled-students-allowance-dsa

Do you think that would be ethical, given she is well enough to go travelling?

I absolutely feel your pain. We have 2 kids at unni one at Norwich and one in first year at Manchester. The student accomm in Manchester is expensive. It's £220 per week ( Fallowfields) and we send £70 per week for food.
As we both parents are married and work he gets the minimum living loan of £4.800k per year.
We are not wealthy . We are using a military pension to help meet the cost and have sacrificed holidays etc.
My son at Norwich did find a part time job in year 2 but the one at Manchester hasn't been able to get one yet.

Manchester is safe enough. As safe as any other urban area. I was student at Manchester Uni as an MA student many moons ago and I still live there and work at the Uni.

Hulme, Fallowfiield etc is fine. Your dd needs to cut her cloth to what you can afford. If she wants fancier, she funds it. End of.

I'm sorry you're in this position op. She sounds so entitled. Time for a taste of the real world.

@ElbowsUpRising

I've just read the following on the Gov website, OP. Do you think that this means that she could apply for UG funding? I would be urging her to fill in the application form.

"Master of architecture

If you plan to study for a master of architecture (MArch Part 2) qualification full-time, apply for undergraduate funding support. Your course must be accredited by the Architects Registration Board (ARB) to be eligible.

You can only apply for the Postgraduate Master’s Loan to support your MArch course if one of the following applies:

• you’re taking a part-time course
• you’re not eligible for undergraduate funding support
• the course does not lead to an accredited qualification as an architect"

If she’s travelling out of the country is she expecting you to sort out all this for her. OP sounds so invested in looking up accommodation, buses research etc. Honestly as graduate over 20 she should be in charge of her own decisions good or bad. Withdraw the expected funding right now for expensive accommodation let her dad do so if he’s stupid enough to keep enabling her demanding behaviour. If she’s out of the country then leave her too it I wouldn’t be suggesting anything as you can’t reason with her. Sharp lesson in life called for now.

Why are you and your husband allowing and enabling this behaviour? You must surely both be able to see that going into adulthood completely entitled, workshy and demanding isn’t going to stand her in any sort of stead.

She probably would be entitled as she’s also dyslexic but she never claimed for it for UG….don’t think she could be arsed with the paperwork. Dh bought her a 2k laptop so guess she didn’t need the grant 🤷‍♀️

Is this a joke? She’s got 20k which she’s spending on travelling, is fleecing her dad and is already on her second degree. Plus she sounds like a lazy baggage who doesn’t even really want to do the course deep down. Even if this is in theory correct it would be completely morally bankrupt.

I went to Manchester uni 10 years ago and lived in the Victoria Park area (a bit further south than Oxford Place). I walked and cycled on my own at night and never had any issues. Oxford place is in a great location for busses from Whitworth Park. She could look at halls even closer to campus, but those were not ensuite or catered.

If she’s worried about her safety, I wouldn’t pick a hall in Fallowfield because those are much further from the university, so there would be a lot more bus travel or walking involved to get there. She just needs to be sensible and she’ll be fine.

BTW it’s perfectly doable to hold a part time job and do an architecture masters. She should look into Jobs4Students at MMU. They pay more than the usual student jobs and they are very understanding if you can’t cover a few shifts because of coursework.

Anyway, on a starting architect’s salary she won’t be able to afford to spend £260 per week on accommodation, so might as well get used to it from now.

She refused to give you any keep?what an entitled madam😡😡😡

So she’s not worried about her safety in Vietnam or South Korea, but can’t possibly live in a cheaper bit of Manchester? You need to stop enabling her deliberate selective selfishness.

Our daughter graduated from UoManchester last summer and is now working there. She prefers it to home, London, and feels very safe there. Her first year in Whitworth Halls, very central on Oxford Road, was a shared flat, 7 bedrooms, three bathrooms, communal kitchen/diner/sitting room. Pretty basic but her room was huge. In September 2020 (yes, the Covid intake) it was £118 per week. Her course was full on so we paid the rent and she used her maintenance loan, the lowest available, for living. It was manageable, but £260 per wk would not have been…! I hope this gives you some context and is helpful. Good luck.

My Mum always joked that she worked purely to cover me being at Uni... That's how my parents found the money. It's dreadful and she's being unreasonable by not being more understanding.

She might be eligible for bursaries and scholarships or grants for disabled students which aim to cover the gap between affordable and what is needed.

Otherwise you need to work out a decent compromise.

Yes - OP says that DD will get about £5k. You can't choose how much to apply for - the amount depends on the income of the household you live in - so parent(s)/parent+new partner.
Sounds as though DD is only entitled to the minimum - the Government expects parents to top up to the maximum (around (10k).

Oh, I see. Thank you.

That will leave a shortfall to be covered by her parents.

No, the daughter can pay for it with that £18.5K she has left that OP saved for her.

Errr… or this grown adult can choose to work/save/rein in her travel plans/use her existing considerable funds to pay for her POST graduate studies.

This.
I also question whether her fibro/dyslexia is really that bad as it certainly doesn't seem to affect her ability to travel abroad on a six month holiday.
But apparently it's far too bad to actually work even part time to help fund her accommodation and costs at uni.

Blimey she sounds a right prima Donna! Won't consider this; going nuts about that! Does she even get that many young people have to self fund through further education or not do it, at least at that stage of their life?

Are you sure she can't work? At all?? Presumably she intends to once she's graduated or else this is a very expensive ""hobby" she's expecting you to fund. She's sounds extremely entitled and in need of as fast reality check. Has she even given any thought on how she expects all this to be funded or has she been raised to believe that the bank of mum takes care of everything?